Why homebirth? I had a wonderful hospital birth! - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 01:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GAjenn View Post
After reading all of your replies I am saddened by some of your hospital experiences. Disrespect from doctors and nurses, unwanted meds, sharing of rooms, and that is just a small part. I think if I faced what some of you have, I would be passionate about home birthing as well. I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.
The thing, though, is that the horrible hospitals is what led many of us to be so passionate about homebirth. I am fairly certain if I hadn't had such a bad experience birthing my first, I might never have even delved into this world. So, although not all hospitals are evil and not all doctors are butchers, many of them are, and many of US have been thrown under the bus by them. So those experiences as well as our good homebirth experiences are not exclusive of each other, KWIM?

I didn't think you were being judgemental at all in your OP. You just honestly didn't know, and worded it in a way that was easily misconstrued. I'm glad you're here on MDC, this site is such a wealth of great information!
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#92 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 12:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GAjenn View Post
After reading all of your replies I am saddened by some of your hospital experiences. Disrespect from doctors and nurses, unwanted meds, sharing of rooms, and that is just a small part. I think if I faced what some of you have, I would be passionate about home birthing as well. I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.
I was passionate about homebirth and have never had a hospital birth myself, and was passionate enough about it that I decided on having a homebirth 5 years before I ever found myself pregnant. I am passionate about women reclaiming their power and directing their fate, experiencing life to the fullest. I am passionate about bringing new life into the wold in a loving and gentle manner. I am passionate about respecting the primal nature of body and mind by birthing in my own environment, embraced by familiar scents, surroundings, and the select chosen few whom will accompany along my labor journey. I am passionate about having my choices and needs respected and catered to while engaging in the difficult yet exhilarating work that childbirth is.

When it comes down to it, I believe that hospitals are for sick and injured people and that pregnancy and birth are neither illness or injury. I would believe this if every woman on MDC and every client I assisted had an amazing self-directed labor, birth, and postpartum period in the hospital. However, the fact that VERY FEW women I know or have even heard about have satisfactory hospital experiences...

Which is why an automatic comparison between the homebirth and hospital birth inevitably begins. These aren't negative generalizations about OBs and hospital policy. Maternity care in the USA is in a state of CRISIS. It has been for a long time, and doesn't seem to be getting better. In my city, I'd say you have a 4-5 out of 10 chance of surgical birth. I can't help but include what I know about hospital birth through research and have witnessed firsthand when asked "Why Homebirth?". Today's obstetric practices have earned their reputation at the expense of many women and babies, and certainly deserving of a harsh critique.

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I do plan on reading some of your suggestions and hope that all of you get the birth experiences you wish for without looking down upon those of us who like our hospital births.
I don't look down on anyone who likes their hospital birth. As a woman and as a doula, I trust that women are intelligent enough to make their own decisions. They may not be the decisions I would make, but if you are informed and educated and make decisions based on information/education combined with the strength of your own convictions and not the influence of others/desire to please, then I applaud you. Unfortunately, many people research buying a new car more than they do birthing options - not saying that this is you or anyone else in this thread - but I know plenty of people who approach their birth as such. And you know what? That is also their decision to prioritize in such a way and I have no business criticizing them for that either. However, when someone relates their birth story, tells me about their huge episiotomy, how thirsty they were the whole time, and how annoying and pushy their nurse was, them proceeds to say that the birth was 'awesome', I can't help but raise an eyebrow.

Again - not saying that this was your experience or anyone who has posted their experience on this thread. I am happy and hopeful to see such positive hospital stories.
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#93 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 03:15 PM
 
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I home birthed my second baby out of sheer laziness. I had a great hospital birth with ods. I birthed with mw and was home 5 hrs after ods was born. We planned to hospital birth with mw again the second time around, but about halfway through the pregnancy I got thinking, "Do I really want to have to go to the hospital in the middle labour again?" I'd always said after ods that if I'd known things would go the way they did with him, I'd have just stayed home. So the second time around I did.

Kelly - Children's Restraint Technician Instructor - Mom to my December boys
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#94 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 03:59 PM
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GAJenn, I'm glad you had a positive hospital birth. It's very rare in our area. Not only that, HBMWs are kind of hard to come by on the south side of ATL.

I'm a non-hospital birth-er. But I don't look down on your birth or birthing choices in the least. I'm glad you were able to have an amazing birth in a hospital setting.

-zak- Mama to three fantastic sons - 2005, 2007 & 2010 and expecting a daughter February 2012!

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#95 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 05:09 PM
 
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DS2 was 12 days late. After months of fighting (which a pregnant and/or labouring woman should not have to do - especially with people who are supposed to be providing "care"), and weeks of very strong pressure, I gave up on my VBA2C. (Boy - do some of my early "no way in hell" pronouncements on here come back to haunt me.)

When did I give up? When my OB said, "if you don't have the c-section tomorrow, I'll withdraw from your case". Yeah. I just loooooove "giving birth" in a hospital. Blech.
He could not have legally dropped you so late in your pregnancy. I hope you filed a complaint against the lying idiot.

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#96 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 05:11 PM
 
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I home birthed my second baby out of sheer laziness.
That may be my favorite reason for home birthing ever. lol

Laura, CBE and mom to Maddiewaterbirth.jpg ( 06/03/04) & Graceuc.jpg (  09/10/06)
 
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#97 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 08:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by GAjenn View Post
d

I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.
I have to say that if you keep reading Mothering, you will find many more positive homebirth stories than hospital bashing ones. I think Mothering does a really good job of praising all the wonderful things about homebirth and pointing out the problems of medicalized births, while still respecting the woman's choices & outcomes. The first Mothering issue I bought was Jan-Feb 07 (famous for it's babywearing article) - that issue was great for me and my husband because it had two great homebirthing articles written by Dads! no hospital bashing, just great articles about two Dad's experiences - it totally sold my DH!
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#98 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 08:33 PM
 
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I just never thought that pointing out the flaws in a system was 'bashing'.

The beauty of homebirth aside, the medical establishment does present an argument for homebirth within itself. I don't think that there is anything wrong with acknowledging that. And it's certainly not an indictment against any woman who chooses hospital birth for whatever reason.
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#99 of 102 Old 03-02-2009, 09:50 PM
 
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I had a "great" 30 min (well, 30 min after I arrived at the hospital - it was a 21 hour labor) birth at a hospital with a doctor who was so crunchy and pro-NCB he also attended homebirths. Even so, I was put on my back to push, yelled at to purple push to a count of 10 despite there being no problem with the baby and pushing going quickly, and basically ignored when there was inadequate local to stitch up my 2nd degree tear without a lot of pain & suffering on my part. I shudder to think what the birth would have been like had I arrived earlier in the labor.

There's more from the post-partum stay, too.

I think all women would benefit from hospital birth being better, but institutional change is difficult and slow in coming. If you (or anyone else) was able to have a great hospital birth, that's wonderful. Unfortunately, many women aren't respected during birth and have awful experiences in the hospital - it's probably the most common reason women choose homebirth. Why would women be seeking something different if their hospital experiences were good? Well, I don't think they would be.
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#100 of 102 Old 03-05-2009, 05:24 PM
 
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That is so wonderful that your hosptal experience was positive and nuturing! But I would have to venture that it is the exception, at least in teh US. Many women who have a hospital birth, even if they didn't mind it do not necessarily find it as fantastic as yours. Plus some people just feel that birth doesn't need to be medically managed, taht it is a natural process that can happen as part of a normal life span and only needs assistance in cases of complications.

Mamma to dd1 3/8/07, one 9.5.08, and dd2 9/9/09
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#101 of 102 Old 03-06-2009, 12:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GAjenn View Post
I just wish that home birth articles and posts were more about being positive about that experience and less about generalizations about horrible hospitals and doctors.
the thing about my first births, though...is that it led me to become more educated about birth. w/ my first son, i thought i read all that i needed to about becoming a mother but for some reason, no one really told me to read about birth...and i guess i was a bit too dense to figure that out for myself. hence, my first c/s, in a small town hospital. same thing the 2nd birth, except in a very prestigious big city hospital. 3d time around it clicked and i started researching. i would have never had my vba2cs with ds3 and my hba2cs w/ ds4 if i hadnt had my dreadful c/s's with sons 1&2. it took my horrible hospital births to open my eyes to the simplicity, beauty and absolute bliss of my home birth (though my home birth was 18 years after my first c/s).
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#102 of 102 Old 03-06-2009, 05:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
I am glad you loved your birth experience though! The best outcome we could ever have in this country is for moms to have positive births no matter where they are birthing. There are many moms on here who are for homebirth because of their horrible, awful, sometimes criminal experiences during their hospital births. This is my first and I choose not to take that risk.
Yes! What if the tables were turned and someone was able to take your beautiful birth experience away by forcing a homebirth that you didn't want on you or refusing to cover hospital birth while covering only a homebirth? Now reverse it and you'll see what many moms here have faced.

It's all about choice. More choice= more beautiful birth experiences for more people.

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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