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#31 of 52 Old 03-04-2009, 03:01 PM
 
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Why does baby need a bath? Isn't the vernix supposed to be good for them? This is my third and I have no memory of when I finally got around to bathing them. Please remind me because I think we will be having this baby at a hospital. Do they "look" dirty? I didn't remember that?
Its need for a bath is debatable. I think the reason for the bath, is just to get any amniotic fluid, meconium, or blood off of the baby, after the birth. You're right, though, vernix should be rubbed into the skin, not washed off.

ETA: And while I don't mind washing off the above-named fluids, there is NO REASON whatsoever to be rubbing the poor new skin so much that it is hurting/bleeding. That sounds barbaric.

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#32 of 52 Old 03-04-2009, 03:04 PM
 
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Why does baby need a bath? Isn't the vernix supposed to be good for them? This is my third and I have no memory of when I finally got around to bathing them. Please remind me because I think we will be having this baby at a hospital. Do they "look" dirty? I didn't remember that?
My understanding is that it is hospital policy to bathe babies to protect employees from Hep B, etc. Another case of the convenience of the hospital overriding what is actually best for babies/moms.

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#33 of 52 Old 03-04-2009, 04:41 PM
 
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This is what I did also - for my second birth, after I learned the hard way about hospitals and baby separation. The hospital I used for birth #1 claimed to "allow" rooming-in policies and to "allow" you to accompany baby etc. but the reality was very different. The nurses made it clear that you were inconveniencing them any time baby wasn't in the nursery or any time you asked for anything aside from their preferred routine of mother-baby care. It was very hard to fight when I was unsure of myself as a new mom.
I had to pick between 2 hospitals, 1 larger & 1 smaller. Both claimed to have to same room in policy, but the larger hospital you had to share your room after the delivery (well, didn't have to, but my insurance wouldn't have paid for a private room at all so I'd had to eat those cost myself, which we couldn't afford) & when I went to look around at that hospital I was so sad to see babies getting bathed in the window. The baths weren't awful, but the drying was. I swear, they dry a dog at the groomers better than they were drying those babies. Two nurses were talking to eat other, each had a baby face down on a pad not even looking at them, & was just drying them like they were drying off puppies or something. The babies were just screaming & it was awful. I looked at DH & said, "No way I'm letting these people touch my baby."

So we went to the smaller hospital, who brags about their private rooms & rooming in on their website & their handouts, as well as on their tour. But once I had the baby? They had the nursery. And everyone talked about what a great, wonderful thing it was, that they just keep the baby away from you & just bring it to you when it needs fed. I was told I could call & have them bring my my baby anytime & call again to return him, so I just played it like that. Yeah, they acted like I was inconveniencing them, but I'd been through so much at that point I really didn't care. I think he spent 45 minutes in the nursery one night, that was the longest. When I'd call & ask, a nurse would always pop in, suprised, asking, "You don't want you baby, do you?" Um, yes I want my baby. They'd come in often to take him, even without having a reason or attempting to give me one to pacify me, but I'd say no. They all thought I was a weirdo, I was the difficult patient going in anyway since I refused to be induced & I was *gasp* 41 weeks pregnant so maybe they were prepared for me. lol

Even now, when people hear from DH that we're having a homebirth, one of the first couple questions they ask is, "But who takes care of the baby the first few days?" Dh tells them, "Us, you know, his parents."
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#34 of 52 Old 03-04-2009, 06:28 PM
 
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I am very bothered by the fact that they wash the baby so heavily and harshly that the baby is all red and scaley in appearance. [...] They have a 75% csect rate and a policy that the baby is not allowed to stay with the mom and no one is allowed in the nursery except the staff.
I would not step foot in a hospital like that.

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I have been considering going to a birth center because my last birth was such a nightmare.
What's holding you back?
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#35 of 52 Old 03-05-2009, 04:48 AM
 
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Yeah I think I'd rather give birth in the woods, alone, in rainstorm than in that hospital. 75% is an indicator of something TRULY HORRIBLY WRONG.

Go to the birth center!!!!!
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#36 of 52 Old 03-05-2009, 04:52 PM
 
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I can't skip this tread. DD born in a hospital via c/s. I convinced my LO was prematurely with lots and lots of vernix. My husband wanted stay with me while DD was in the nursery room. Big mistake, DH still feel guilty about it. A nurse took my daughter, brushed her and scrubbing her very heavily. ,My MIL and my friend were tap the glass, screaming, but the nurse looks like she can't hear them. After that,the nurse left DD in the metallic crib uncovered. DD was there crying alone while MIL and friend were crying in the another side of the window.
If I have to have another baby in a hospital, no matter what I don't allow anyone separate us and ask to my husband to washer her.
That made me cry a little! That is so sad!

That's it, if they try to take my baby away from me, I will tell them to bring me a rub of warm water and a few towels. I'll wash my baby myself!

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#37 of 52 Old 03-05-2009, 05:09 PM
 
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Wow, that is unbelievable. Where are you? They won't let the baby stay with you?

I would run so fast from that hospital. I, as other posters, would probably UC in a rainstorm before going there...

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#38 of 52 Old 03-05-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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No matter WHAT the hospital policy or how they try to throw their weight around, you have the right to your own child even if you must sign AMA forms about what you decide. But, you know what you are signing up for if you go there, best bet is to go where you are routinely given what you and baby need and want.
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#39 of 52 Old 03-06-2009, 02:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kelly1101 View Post
Its need for a bath is debatable. I think the reason for the bath, is just to get any amniotic fluid, meconium, or blood off of the baby, after the birth. You're right, though, vernix should be rubbed into the skin, not washed off.

ETA: And while I don't mind washing off the above-named fluids, there is NO REASON whatsoever to be rubbing the poor new skin so much that it is hurting/bleeding. That sounds barbaric.
My late grandmother told me that after the birth of her second son the nurse "showed" her how to bathe the baby. She held him upside down and started scrubbing at him with a stiff nail brush. My grandma (in tears) pulled my uncle away from the offending nurse and told her in no uncertain terms to "get out" This was in 1947. I'm saddened to hear that this still happens.

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#40 of 52 Old 03-08-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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I would go to the Birth Center.
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#41 of 52 Old 03-08-2009, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No matter WHAT the hospital policy or how they try to throw their weight around, you have the right to your own child even if you must sign AMA forms about what you decide. But, you know what you are signing up for if you go there, best bet is to go where you are routinely given what you and baby need and want.

A call to CPS?

Yes, I had that happen once. With the last birth. I did not want the forced csect but gave in due to their torturing me pretty much. Then, when the baby was born, they were nasty to me and would not even let me have my baby when I asked. He would be bawling in the nursery and I would be ringing their bell saying I wanted him and they would refuse. They would insult me for breastfeeding and told me I was being abusive for not letting him be bottle fed. The reason they called it abuse is they had a policy against allowing the babies to be with the mothers during shift changes and those could take hours. If they were sooo busy with shift changes, where did they find the time to bottle feed? Then, I had company when they stopped by to "teach" me how to care for my baby and such. Umm, I already had several children and in fact used to teach parenting classes. I did not want to sit there while they went through their whole thing. So, they called child abuse on me.

In the end, the social worker told me I was one of the best parents she ever met, she did not think she could handle all these children so well as me and that she could learn some things from me.

So that is my nightmare experience with giving birth at a hospital last time. So what happens if I just say no to the crap? The hospital will do whatever they have to to try to control you, including putting you through CPS hell.
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#42 of 52 Old 03-08-2009, 10:48 PM
 
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The op's scenario is turning my stomach.

Just for comparison, my hospital where I've birthed twice (one vaginal birth, one c-section) rooming in is the 'rule' and there is no nursery. If you want the nurses to take your baby for a bit, there has to be a reason and they'll simply sit at the nursing station and hold them.

Bathing is done only with a parent present, unless circumstances preven that from happening. They'll even bring the portable warmer to your room to do the bath. I declined the bath with both girls; the only difference it made was that the nurses were required to wear gloves when handling the babe.

Mine didn't anyway. I'm a nurse at that hospital and they know me.

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#43 of 52 Old 03-08-2009, 11:42 PM
 
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A call to CPS?

Yes, I had that happen once. With the last birth. I did not want the forced csect but gave in due to their torturing me pretty much. Then, when the baby was born, they were nasty to me and would not even let me have my baby when I asked. He would be bawling in the nursery and I would be ringing their bell saying I wanted him and they would refuse. They would insult me for breastfeeding and told me I was being abusive for not letting him be bottle fed. The reason they called it abuse is they had a policy against allowing the babies to be with the mothers during shift changes and those could take hours. If they were sooo busy with shift changes, where did they find the time to bottle feed? Then, I had company when they stopped by to "teach" me how to care for my baby and such. Umm, I already had several children and in fact used to teach parenting classes. I did not want to sit there while they went through their whole thing. So, they called child abuse on me.

In the end, the social worker told me I was one of the best parents she ever met, she did not think she could handle all these children so well as me and that she could learn some things from me.

So that is my nightmare experience with giving birth at a hospital last time. So what happens if I just say no to the crap? The hospital will do whatever they have to to try to control you, including putting you through CPS hell.
Where on earth do you live?? Are these two different hospitals in the same area? My experience with hospitals has been so different, it's hard for me to imagine anything like this.

Have you had a chance to check out the birth center?

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#44 of 52 Old 03-09-2009, 01:41 AM
 
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They have a 75% csect rate and a policy that the baby is not allowed to stay with the mom and no one is allowed in the nursery except the staff. I have been considering going to a birth center because my last birth was such a nightmare.
RUN (don't walk) to the birth center. What's holding you back? Yikes!!!

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#45 of 52 Old 03-09-2009, 11:47 AM
 
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Where on earth do you live??
Ditto! I'm dying to know if this was in the US.

This is just atrocious & horrifying.
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#46 of 52 Old 03-09-2009, 11:49 AM
 
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Same as what so many have said ... I'm also in the US, and I'd be very surprised to find that this is anywhere near the norm. Almost everyone I know has had a hospital birth, and I've never heard of the nurses scrubbing a baby so hard that he/she bled from it. Also, I just toured a hospital in a not especially pro-natural birth area, and they have gone from having optional rooming in to requiring rooming in since they turned their nursery into an NICU. (And even in the NICU nursery, the parent is allowed in the nursery with the baby. Well, one adult is allowed in I think is specifically what they said.) All bathing and newborn exams are routinely done in the delivery room.
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#47 of 52 Old 03-10-2009, 03:59 AM
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i suggest go to birth center.
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#48 of 52 Old 03-10-2009, 12:57 PM
 
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oh my goodness! I'd definitely go to the birth center if I were you!!

I couldn't go to a hospital where I couldn't room in with my baby. The whole nursery deal frightens me.

Neither of my boys had a bath untill the day after birth.. and it was very gentle.. no rubbing at all!

Definitely go to the birth center!!!

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#49 of 52 Old 03-10-2009, 06:58 PM
 
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They have a 75% csect rate and a policy that the baby is not allowed to stay with the mom and no one is allowed in the nursery except the staff. I have been considering going to a birth center because my last birth was such a nightmare.
If you can possibly avoid this hospital, I would do it. Do whatever you can.

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I'm doing a hospital birth with an OB, but I picked a hospital that allowed 24-hour rooming in (as well as supporting natural birth), encourages the father to stay with the baby during nursery procedures, strongly encourages breastfeeding and has an in-house lactation consultant, etc.
A word of warning: Many hospitals, knowing that it's rather trendy, hold themselves out as being natural birth friendly and having a "family birthing center" or "family birth center" rather than normal L&D. They advertise birthing tubs that - guess what - are never used. They pay lip service to things that patients sometimes want and that sound good, but then they rarely, if ever, allow those things to happen. Including the ones with in-house LCs. There are several hospitals in my area like this - in fact, they're pretty much all like this. It's rather nightmarish. Yet they have these lovely photo spreads of "homey" rooms in the "birthing suites," show photos of the birth pool that has never been used, talk about rooming in, etc.

Some hospitals really are good - but giving those talking points is absolutely no reason to believe that a hospital actually is that way. If you haven't, I would speak with local doulas who have attended births at that hospital. They're more likely to know what you might end up dealing with. If you already have the inside scoop, that's great - but this advice still holds for anyone else choosing between hospitals for a birth.
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#50 of 52 Old 03-10-2009, 07:41 PM
 
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To the OP I agree with the advice above and find somewhere else. Those policies are horrible.

I am generally untrusting of the hospitals just from what I have seen in my area but your situation seems much worse. In my area we only have two baby friendly hospitals. One of those hospitals have OBs that have some of the highest C/S rates in my county (it's a good sized area). I have seen several c/s that seemed unnecessary as well as a VBAC that was induced and of course ruptured. I have not seen one non-c/s birth in my area personally (this is out of about 10 births of women I know who are young and generally healthy). To Romana's point I see them paying lip service but it's not what I see most of the outcomes.
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#51 of 52 Old 03-11-2009, 11:59 AM
 
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Oh, no, no, no!
Nobody is taking my baby from me unless my dh is glued to her. No, no.
And what the heck is the deal with bathing the baby anyway? We didn't bathe DD for days. The nurses hinted and hinted, but she didn't need it. When she was ready, I gave her a gentle sponge bath. And not rooming in? No, no, no.
I would go for that birth center! I would do a homebirth. I would not not not go to that hospital!

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#52 of 52 Old 03-11-2009, 12:15 PM
 
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A word of warning: Many hospitals, knowing that it's rather trendy, hold themselves out as being natural birth friendly and having a "family birthing center" or "family birth center" rather than normal L&D. They advertise birthing tubs that - guess what - are never used. They pay lip service to things that patients sometimes want and that sound good, but then they rarely, if ever, allow those things to happen. Including the ones with in-house LCs. There are several hospitals in my area like this - in fact, they're pretty much all like this. It's rather nightmarish. Yet they have these lovely photo spreads of "homey" rooms in the "birthing suites," show photos of the birth pool that has never been used, talk about rooming in, etc.

Some hospitals really are good - but giving those talking points is absolutely no reason to believe that a hospital actually is that way. If you haven't, I would speak with local doulas who have attended births at that hospital. They're more likely to know what you might end up dealing with. If you already have the inside scoop, that's great - but this advice still holds for anyone else choosing between hospitals for a birth.
I echo this. I responded on your other post on the related thread, Kelly1101. I am a doula who works in your area and think that you might want to be prepared for more resistance than you are anticipating. I'm going to leave the ball in your court to PM me, because I'm not much for harassing folks if they don't want my 2 cents. My due date is also very close to yours. Tea perhaps?
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