Cesarean support circle V (December 12) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 177 Old 12-12-2003, 01:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[Admin note: The posts here were split from the previous Cesarean support circle thread IV to start this new thread. Please continue your discussion here. Thanks! ~Cynthia]

Before I had my first child I had read probably dozens of books on natural childbirth and the woes of having a cesarean. I read the Silent Knife while I was pregnant. Sheila Kitzingers books were on my night stand. I knew more about the ills of csection than anyone. I knew I definitely didnt want one. I was as die hard as they get. Mother Nature has a way of putting your life and thoughts into perspective.
Around 34 weeks I found out my baby was in a transverse breech. I was told of my options, I went home and began reading, crying, grieving. I talked to a midwife and I began to do all kinds of things to turn my baby. For the next three weeks I laid upside down on a ironing board (no fun), had massages, meditated, reflexology -- I did it all minus the webster technique by a chiro. At 37 weeks I went in convinced my baby had turned. Nope, she was still breech and now it wasnt exactly transverse, she was in there funny though because by now my ribs were broken. So at 38 weeks I made the decision to have an ECV, then changed my mind and decided to have an elective csection but when I got to the hospital I refused tto prep for the csection and demanded to speak with my doctor. She came and I told her I really wanted a vaginal delivery. She said my only chance was an ECV and then as soon as the baby turned I would have to be induced. This sounded better than a csection to me. I was desperate for a vaginal delivery -- I was full of fear and judgement about cesarean births and I went against my gut instincts to try to achieve the ideal birth. It cost me so much.
The sad thing is I have watched many women do the same thing. While I know plenty of people who have csections which could have been prevented or were unnecessary -- I come across just as many women who really did need a csection for whatever reason.
VBAC is such a personal thing. Even though risks of rupture are so small, I can understand why some would not risk it. I am one who definitely would not have risked it during my last pregnancy. I support VBAC and I really hope itsourfamily gets her VBAC but I believe she is wise for making an alternative plan.

While the ACOG and some medical facilities and professionals dumb down the risks of cesarean and do not allow VBACS, instilling fear into women you have a magazine that is supposed to support women, their babies, a way of parenting that is based a lot on instincts instilling fear, hype and their own brand of propaganda.

As you can all see there is a reason my name is OnTheFence!
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#2 of 177 Old 12-12-2003, 04:50 PM
 
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I am new to this board and I thought this thread was pro-VBAC. At first I was dismayed that had chosen the wrong thread to read, but by the time I got to the end of it I was really touched by all the people on here who have had c/bs.

I used to think that anyone who has a c/b was a "wimp" and couldn't take the work of labour (it's called labour for a reason). Then I went into labour. I wanted a home birth, all natural, lots of flowers and roses and soft music... HA! What I got was three days of hard labour at home with minimal progression, gave up and went to the hospital, had every intervention in the book (pitocin, water broken, fetal monitoring, vacuum, forceps) and FINALLY a (I guess emergency) c/b. (my dh and the baby have VERY big heads!)

It was the worst experience of my life. When they told me I had a boy I said "good thing, because I'm never doing this again". (Now, of course, I want another.:LOL )

I think the reason I was so upset by the whole experience was because I was so unprepared. I refused to consider the possibility that things wouldn't go the way I wanted. If I had thought through the possible scenarios I would not have had to deal with the changes in plan when I was already under huge amounts of stress. We are lead to believe that a c/b is "giving up" and totally avoidable. In my case, my baby (and possible me) would be dead if not for a cesarean. Hmmm.... is there any choice there?

I want a VBAC the next time, so hopefully I can experience how a baby is "supposed" to be born. However, I will be prepared (much better prepared!) in case it doesn't work out, and totally accepting of that reality.

There doesn't seem to be a middle ground on this issue, people think you are granola and should want the natural choice regardless of the circumstances, otherwise you are a prima donna and are chosing c/b for "scheduling" reasons or other frivolous reasons. No one seems to discuss the valid reasons for choosing a c/b.

I applaud all you women who are having babies regardless of your method of delivery. Don't let anyone belittle your choices.

MDC, give us our own subforum!!!
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#3 of 177 Old 12-12-2003, 05:41 PM
 
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Welcome TOmamma! We are a pro-VBAC bunch, just so happens we are also pro-repeat c-section We want whatever is BEST for babies and their mothers, with no agenda toward pushing women's choices in that regard But, you read the thread, so you know that

Yes, we are a darn radical bunch on here, asking that our voices be heard as women with children that we have made the best possible choices for, and for one reason or another (sometimes our choices, sometimes not) we have had c-sections. One thing we are not is uninformed- so feel free to throw out any questions or concerns you have.

I hope and pray that those who want to VBAC are successful, and I also beleive that many can be, you educate yourself, you decide what risks you are willing to take (with any birth), and you do what is best for you and your child. You will get lots of support in the VBAC section to help you make your wishes a reality, and we are a place where you can get support if you want a back-up plan (like It'sOurFamily) or a shoulder to cry on, or people to commiserate, and support you no matter what birth option you chose in the end, or a choice you may not get to make yourself.

Best wishes to you, and thanks for seeing us

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#4 of 177 Old 12-12-2003, 07:20 PM
 
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Welcome, TOmomma! I totally agree with what Patty said. And I really identify with a lot of what you wrote in your post.

And I'll say it again... I'd really like a VBAC with this baby, but I also know that if I am not mentally prepared for the possibility of a C, the (hopefully unlikely) C would feel pretty traumatic. And I want to be able to hit the ground running once the baby is born; to me, that means not feeling traumatized by the birth, however it happens.

Changing the subject a bit... I just wondered how many of us hanging out on this thread are currently pg, when we're due, and what our plans are? I'm due in May, and planning for a VBAC...
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#5 of 177 Old 12-12-2003, 07:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by TOmomma

It was the worst experience of my life. When they told me I had a boy I said "good thing, because I'm never doing this again". (Now, of course, I want another.:LOL )

I think the reason I was so upset by the whole experience was because I was so unprepared. I refused to consider the possibility that things wouldn't go the way I wanted. If I had thought through the possible scenarios I would not have had to deal with the changes in plan when I was already under huge amounts of stress. We are lead to believe that a c/b is "giving up" and totally avoidable. In my case, my baby (and possible me) would be dead if not for a cesarean. Hmmm.... is there any choice there?

I want a VBAC the next time, so hopefully I can experience how a baby is "supposed" to be born. However, I will be prepared (much better prepared!) in case it doesn't work out, and totally accepting of that reality.

Lise, Wow thanks for the great posts to this thread. I was much like you. I didnt prepare at all for my first csection. I was so convinced not me. I mean I am tall with big boobs and hips and thought babies would just slide right out. I have a high tolerance to pain and hate medical intervention. So having a csection was foreign.

When I found out my daughter was breech and that I might have to have a csection only one person gave me an idea of what it would be like. Everyone else was telling my how I could avoid it, how that my body would work in time, blah blah blah. A few weeks later I was being carved like a fish and feeling it all with very little support from my crunchy friends. I did feel like a failure.


I like you was thinking no more kiddos, we did try to get pregnant again but after failed attempts, miscarriage and the nightmare I would have to have another cesarean we adopted (hes a csection baby too) I found myself pregnant nine months later and had to face my fears. I was supported by very few people to have a repeat csection. I was asked all the time about VBAC. I REALLY WANTED TOO!!! I even thought about HBAC but I knew this wasnt realistic. I had to fight to keep my pregnancy from the very beginning. I threw up for 36 weeks. I had to be on progesterone, I had contractions at 14 weeks onward, and I began spilling protein and having high blood pressure. Of course that was my fault. I changed my already good diet, drank protien shakes a friend brought me, took extra this and that but my BP didnt change. Yet everything you read here and other places PIH, GD, and preeclampsia are all caused by something the mother does or doesnt do. My OB finally told me on one of my final appointments that chit just happens and to not allow those people to judge me and that sometimes there is no defined reason as to why women get pre eclampsia. I beat myself up for weeks.

I hope with your next pregnancy you can achieve the birth you want. Just know that if you find yourself facing similar circumstances there is those of us who have had good experience planning and making cesarean birth plans. My last one was wonderful. I had a wonderful recovery and experience.
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#6 of 177 Old 12-12-2003, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by KKmama

Changing the subject a bit... I just wondered how many of us hanging out on this thread are currently pg, when we're due, and what our plans are? I'm due in May, and planning for a VBAC...
I am not pregnant. I am considering another pregnancy at this time. The recent news of my aunts hysterectomy may be pushing up the time frame to try for baby number 4. I will even be considering having my uterus removed if I have a planned csection.
I have a long line of women in my family that have ovarian, uterine, and breast cancer. I love my reproductive organs, but frankly I dont want them to be the death of me, plus my uterus is deformed anyway and I am only willing to do one more full term pregnancy with it. It might not be ideal to have a hysterectomy after having a baby but why go through two surgeries if I can get it all in one! They only thing I would hate was having to do the GA and not have the epidural block I had with my son and the long term painrelief with the PCAP I had through my epidural cath. I might would be willing to do this though to save myself from misery later.
Decisions, Decisions.
I just love this thread !!!
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#7 of 177 Old 12-12-2003, 07:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by KKmama
Changing the subject a bit... I just wondered how many of us hanging out on this thread are currently pg, when we're due, and what our plans are? I'm due in May, and planning for a VBAC...
See my sig. Patrick is footling so I am planning for the possibility of a c/b.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#8 of 177 Old 12-13-2003, 12:33 AM
 
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I am currently pregnant and I am due Jan 31. I am trying to find a new care provider....

I have a lead on a guy that 2 of my friends have used. One is very non-intervention and the other was induced early 2x for supposed big size (her babe born in October this year was 10lbs 13.5oz )

So I figure I'll go in with my birth plan and say...here ya go, ya got any problems with it. And then go from there.

Oh, and welcome to TOmama. like jess said. We aren't anti vbac...we are pro-making your own decision!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#9 of 177 Old 12-13-2003, 09:52 AM
 
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I am pregnant too, due same day as IOF- January 31, but as I mentioned, I am planning a repeat c-section and have scheduled it for January 23 (bright and early in the morning ), it will be my 3rd c-section, and all of my children will be born that way, due to a deformed pelvis. (I did want a VBAC with my second child, but it just isn't in the cards for me).

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#10 of 177 Old 12-13-2003, 11:59 AM
 
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ooooo... I bet an early morning c/b is much much better than mine was. It was after 9pm! He was born and all dh and I wanted to do was go to bed!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#11 of 177 Old 12-13-2003, 02:16 PM
 
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This is sort of long...sorry


Hey, just found this thread. I'm happy to see it since I was starting to feel odd reading all of the happy home birth and unmedicated stories. I just had my baby girl back in September and had to have a c/s and am already debating whether to try a vbac or another c/s with the next one (hopefully wont have to make the decision for a few years) My doctors told me that the way they cut I could try a vbac if I choose to but never mentioned anything about risks. They just said that I'd probably end up having to have another c/s.
I have no idea if mine was completely necessary. It probably wouldnt have been if they hadnt used so much medication and such and had me on ivs and with a catheter and all so I couldnt move much, but then again my baby's head was sideways and she wouldn't progress. I think something might be sideways inside me...I'm not sure, just know that cervical checks really really hurt and one at 37 weeks made me start bleeding so after that they didnt do anymore until I was in labor. When I was in labor one of the nurses had me make a fist and hold my hips at an angle and it didnt hurt as much that way.
Anyway, I'm really debating now since I wouldnt want to try a vbac and have it turn out that something is tilted and have it cause something to happen to my baby. I'd wanted a home birth but since my husband wasn't at all comfortable with that I went through all the doctors appointments and such for him, but made him come with me for almost every one of them. My water broke on the morning of the 19th of sept...but contractions didnt start so I put off going to the hospital or even calling...I had my mom with me and didnt need nurses to tell me anything...that evening we decided to go in anyway and once i got there the fluid stopped temporarily so they couldnt prove it was amniotic fluid... turns out some test they do cant tell the difference between urine and amniotic fluid?! so they sent me home, as if I had just been peeing on myself for 12 hours straight...and set up an appointment for the next day, or to come back if it started again or contractions started. They did later that night but I wasnt going to go and have them tell me to go home again so...I went to sleep instead and went in the next morning. The next morning I was dilated 1 to 2 cm, contractions had started so they checked me into a room.
They induced (although they didnt call it that at that point of course) the labor. Then decided it was going too fast and gave me more junk to slow it down. Then induced it again, with some tablet thing they inserted. I didnt really know to refuse for them to do anything and my mom left the decisions up to me, so... if they tried that the next time I would know better. Anyway, eventually they said there was no progression, it was taking too long to dilate, etc. and that I needed a c/s because the baby's head was sideways. I guess she didn't want to come out of there...cant say that I blame her sometimes
Anyway, are there good links to read about the risks of vbac to help me make an informed decision (in a few years!!) ? I really am worried about the dangers associated with vbac. Is it possible to have a homebirth after a c/s or will most midwives feel that the risks are too high??
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#12 of 177 Old 12-14-2003, 01:34 AM
 
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TOmamma and ren_, welcome. Glad you found us and thank you for sharing your stories.

None of us are anti-vbac or pro-repeat cesarian. We're all pro-baby and pro-mama though
A couple of things....I wanted to mention, as LadyLee educated me when I first found this thread, that some of us here prefer the term cesarian birth instead of cesarian section...don't know about you but I am NOT a citrus fruit, LOL. If you end up with a baby, you had a BIRTH, period, no matter how that birth came about.
Another thing, for some of us, yourselves included I'm sure,cesarian was not really a "choice",
or rather it was choosing to live or choosing not to seriously damage yourself and/or your baby.
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#13 of 177 Old 12-16-2003, 04:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just wanting to bump this up because I dont want our little support thread disappearing.

Welcome ren!

If you suspect your uterus could be slightly "off" before attempting another pregnancy consider an hsg. I have a deformed uterus and my first child was a weird transverse breech, my second child is adopted, the third child is homegrown like the first and he was head down, but his head was at a weird angle and his shoudler was presenting agains the cervix. He was like that for several weeks in the end. I doubt he could have been a vaginal birth. Heck they had a hard time unlodging his head during my c/b.

Kim
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#14 of 177 Old 12-16-2003, 12:14 PM
 
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Hey Kim, what are you, my evil twin???
Quote:
I mean I am tall with big boobs and hips and thought babies would just slide right out. I have a high tolerance to pain and hate medical intervention. So having a csection was foreign.
EXACTLY! And...
Quote:
I doubt he could have been a vaginal birth. Heck they had a hard time unlodging his head during my c/b.
They had to push my son backwards HARD just to get him out of the birth canal.

LOVE this thread. Thanks to all for the greetings. There's a SLIM chance I might be pregnant (I'll know for sure on Christmas day! What a great present, or disappointment.) so this might become a more immediate concern for me.

Fortunately I have a great midwife who is very suppportive of my choices. I'd like a HVBAC. but hubby won't go for the HB part this time (can't blame him) and we'll have to play the rest by ear.

I've gone back to my childhood - my motto is Be Prepared!
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#15 of 177 Old 12-16-2003, 02:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Lise,

Maybe I am your evil twin. :LOL

My husband would not go for a HB at this juncture either. He wasnt too fond of the idea to begin with but said he would support me, of course this was before my first csection. O well.

Kim
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#16 of 177 Old 12-16-2003, 03:47 PM
 
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My update: I am dilated 1 cm and my cervix has moved from posterior to anterior. Patrick is still breech. OB thinks my kidney stone is gone, I don't. So...we will do an u/s on the kidney next week. If it's still there we will do an amnio to see if baby lungs are mature. They are both about 4-1/2 pounds today. If lungs are OK, will schedule my c-birth for 36 weeks. If stone is gone, c-birth will be closer to 37 weeks.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#17 of 177 Old 12-16-2003, 07:12 PM
 
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Meg's Mom..wow, already dilated?? I never dilated more than 3 cm. aven after 34 hours of contractions.You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, hope it all goes well.

OnThe Fence and TOmomma, my DH was totally against a homebirth too (which is just as well, because we would have ended up having to call an ambulance and been taken to god knows what awful hospital). He said that I'd be in the middle of labor and have to do CPR on him! In all my anger and need to blame someone for my first cesarian birth he was one of the main targets. We nearly got divorced in the first year of my sons life.
It has been a long struggle but I can safely say now that I would rather have cesarians with him right there in the same room (they have no problem with that at the clinic where both my babies were born) that any other kind of birth without his support. If I had had an unassisted homebirth the second time
(midwives here in Japan would not work with me as a VBAC) I would have had to do it as a single mother.
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#18 of 177 Old 12-16-2003, 11:35 PM
 
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I think I have only lurked on this thread, but I have posted at MDC about my c-birth experience and my VBAC experience. I am planning a water birth VBAC for my babe. She is due at the end of January.

However, I have a c-birth plan and I will never have the attitude that it can't happen to me. I have been doing a lot of reading, yoga, positive thinking and meditation, and I have been having great dialogue with my dh and midwives about my next birth.

I wish all of you the best and it's great to see everyone here gathering information and support.
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#19 of 177 Old 12-17-2003, 03:33 PM
 
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I am so completely confused right now. I know if i don't try and vbac I'll never let myself go of it. I'll always be thinking...what if. I feel like I was cheated out of so much with Tracy and I want something better than I had with his delivery. I know I need to listen to my body when the time comes but right now I can't stop listening to my heart. My mind is saying screw-it and plan the c/b. The rest of me is aching for the birth exp I didn't have.

I don't know what to do. I haven't really "prepared" for a vbac. I can't get up the energy or desire to look at any books or do anymore research (I haven't done that much anyway). I don't know why I jsut cannot get into this.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#20 of 177 Old 12-17-2003, 07:31 PM
 
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it's our family, my heart goes out to you.
I identify with your wanting to plan the outcome. Like me, you probably want to have some control over your birth experience and feel like you didn't have that with your previous birth.
Can you try to just be open to the possibility of a repeat cesarian if it becomes necessary, while still trying for a VBAC? Do a little research, and at the very least, insist that your labor start naturally unless it's an emergency. That's what I did with my DD's birth in October, and I didn't feel like a failure as I did three years ago when DS was born. It's hard to not know how it will turn out
but that way you'll have all the bases covered, so to speak, and know that you did your best.

Hope this helps.
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#21 of 177 Old 12-17-2003, 10:08 PM
 
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Luckily I have myself completely prepared for a repeat. I just know I have to try...kwim?

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#22 of 177 Old 12-17-2003, 10:42 PM
 
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I totally kwim Good luck on the VBAC, I really hope it happens for you.
And don't let anyone tell you that you have a negative attitude for
being mentally prepared for a repeat cesarian...it could happen to anyone and it's helpful to know what to expect if it does and try to make it a positive experience. That isn't negative, it's just realistic. When my DS was born, I wasn't prepared at all, hadn't even entertained the possibility, and the shock and disappointement was really hard to get over.
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#23 of 177 Old 12-18-2003, 01:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by its_our_family
I am so completely confused right now. I know if i don't try and vbac I'll never let myself go of it. I'll always be thinking...what if. I feel like I was cheated out of so much with Tracy and I want something better than I had with his delivery. I know I need to listen to my body when the time comes but right now I can't stop listening to my heart. My mind is saying screw-it and plan the c/b. The rest of me is aching for the birth exp I didn't have.

I don't know what to do. I haven't really "prepared" for a vbac. I can't get up the energy or desire to look at any books or do anymore research (I haven't done that much anyway). I don't know why I jsut cannot get into this.


I have been there and done that and now have the t-shirt.
I am going to be really honest, please no throwing eggs.

I still fantisize about my ideal birth. I sometimes wonder if I get pregnant again, if I have another baby, the next time I might just....... I know it is not going to happen for me -- not just physically but spiritually. I have had to come to terms with my cesarean births on a spiritual level that is so hard to describe and I know that with Jack in my mind and in my heart that planning and having a repeat c/b was the best decision for myself and my baby.

I know there are women who just plan repeat csections and go with the flow of things, but I know so many more women now, that know the risks of csections, and make a choice to repeat that method of birth over a VBAC for so many reasons -medical, emotional, etc. The thing is IOF, you need to make this decision for you. Why haven't you prepared for a VBAC? Is there something in you telling you something different? Is there any fears or concerns holding you back? You say in your mind you want to do one thing, your heart another but what does you intuition and gut say to you.

My aunt, bless her soul, gave me some sound advice. Go with your gut -- it is rarely wrong. The day I went into the hospital to have a planned cesarean with my daughter I chickened out. I was afraid of everything I read (silent knife for one), I was afraid of the OR, I was afraid I would die and I went against my inner voice that said "this is okay, you can have a csection" and said "hell no, lets do this and that and see if I can have that vaginal birth" Some may say I was resolved but I wasnt, my gut said to do the csection, my heart said vaginal and I denied my gut and it cost me big.

I planned, I made peace, I meditated, I prepared myself in every way for a repeat csection. I felt at peace about this decision. Not to say I wouldn't have loved to VBAC but my planned, thought out cbirth brought me peace and I felt very capable of handling anything. And I did. It was a great experience, a wonderful delivery, a wonderful baby moon -- and I felt very good about my decision with no regrets.
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#24 of 177 Old 12-18-2003, 01:54 AM
 
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My gut tells me to plan the c/b...today it does anyway. tomorrow it'll say I can vbac.

I jsut have to get my ducks in a row and sit down and talk with my dh. Up until now its been about what I want and how feel and such. I really need to see where he stands and what he feels in his heart.

I feel so stupid cause I should have figured this out months ago....

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#25 of 177 Old 12-18-2003, 09:31 AM
 
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IOF

6-8 weeks from now, you will be holding your baby. How he gets here is only partially in your hands (As you know), I think talking it through with your dh, trying hard to really listen to your insides, and prayer will really help you through.

Are you frightened of rupture, is that what is holding you back, or are you frightened that you will try for a vaginal birth again and don't want to "fail"? There is no "failure" in childbirth, none, no matter how anyone in the "natural" community makes you feel. You are a healthy mama with a healthy baby, 6-8 weeks from now, when you can still say the same, you will be truly blessed, so don't take that for granted.

I hope you can get some peace with all of this really soon, and enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy.

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#26 of 177 Old 12-18-2003, 12:14 PM
 
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I have a healthy "concern" for rupture. I know it is remotely possible but I have no fear of it happening.

I think I'm mainly having issues with "failing" again. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it. I'm afraid of what I went through with Tracy. I was induced so I know that the labor I did have was probably not typical...it was hell from the pitocin....

I need to talk to dh....

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#27 of 177 Old 12-18-2003, 09:42 PM
 
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Quote:
think I'm mainly having issues with "failing" again. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it. I'm afraid of what I went through with Tracy. I was induced so I know that the labor I did have was probably not typical...it was hell from the pitocin....
I had no pit with my c-sec, but I had it with my VBAC and it was hell. So I guess what I think the relevance of telling you my experience is that every labor and birth is different (which I am sure you already know, but sometimes it's nice to be reminded). I also realize now that the pit I had may not have been necessary or at least the amount used was not necessary.

I had the same fear of "failure" with my VBAC and it is quite common for women in labor with their VBAC baby to flash back to their c-sec experience. I did in the middle of labor. I think it's a good start to express those fears and let them out. Just know that you are not alone.

If you honestly feel like a VBAC is really possible for you, then it's never too late to try. Or at least you might consider letting your labor start to happen and then seeing how you feel at the time. If you have a plan for both situations, maybe that could help you let go a bit. If I remember correctly, you have a doula and she could really help advocate for you and maybe allow you a bit a emotional and physical "space" to let labor begin and see where it goes from there.

Whatever you decide, I hope that you can make peace with your decision. I wish you a healthy and happy baby. If you have any VBAC questions, feel free to PM me as I don't want to get too "preachy" or "gung ho" on this particular thread. I realize the intention of this thread so I don't want to get to far OT. (although I probably already have).
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#28 of 177 Old 12-20-2003, 12:49 PM
 
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Sometimes the fear of ''fear'' is worse than it really it is. I mean,
sometimes you can build up the fear so much in your head that it is
way more amplified than the reality would be.

Try to distinguish what you are afraid of more. Are you afraid more
of the failing or the not trying for the VBAC? What would make you
more content? Trying the VBAC and possibly failing......or not trying
at all?

Tough questions?

But the reality is like what jess said "you'll be holding that beautiful
baby no matter how he gets here" and that's what counts.
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#29 of 177 Old 12-20-2003, 05:27 PM
 
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Thanks ladies--

I'm really trying to evaluate why I want to vbac to begin with. I'm not sure if its a "yes, this is what I should do" or a "I'll show everyone that I can"

Its like what everyone else has said. We do everything else as natural as possible and I can't even give birth! I was sitting on the couch last night and my contractions over about 4 hours went from 15 minutes apart to 10 minutes apart to 5 minutes apart, and started gaining in intensity. But then I realized that they were real contractions not bh but they were nowhere near my cervix! I've had contractions galor and no change in my cervix (which is fine since I'm only 34 weeks) But for some reaosn I jsut keep thinking I'll just end up with another c/b.

I talked to dh about it and how he felt and he said, "Do I really have a say in it. I thought this is what you wanted" I was really surprised. I thought he would be totally gungho for vbac but now I'm not so sure. He asked if I go another 3 weeks and then say...I want a repeat if that can happen. I told him that at any point, even in labor, I can change my mind and have a c/b. He seemed to like that answer. I'm planning on talking to him more about it but not today...maybe it'll be good pillow talk

I know my mom will be much more confortable with a repeat but my mil will be disappointed even though she would never say it.

So, now I'm trying to figure out my motivation to even attempt vbac. Right now I'm feeling it is a pride issue.

I need to tell my dh the good thigns about planning. We could be more specific about how we want our c/b to go and end up happy with it in the end.

BTW...if the plan a repeat how early do they do it normally? I know this might sound bad but if we do decide to repeat Jan 20 would be perfect...11 days before my edd.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#30 of 177 Old 12-22-2003, 10:46 AM
 
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IOF- How are things going? Have you come to any decisions yet? Hoping you've found peace with all of it

Now, here's my thought for today- I wish I were "mainstream" sometimes. I know "mainstream" (for lack of a better word) women who have CHOSEN c-birth, for all kinds of reasons not medically related. I hear the occasional person say, "Oh, you are so lucky to have a c-section, no labor, vagina stays nice and tight, no work, scheduled birth, etc."

Why don't I look at it all that way? Why don't I get all excited that I am "lucky enough" to have a c-birth?

I am trying to get my mind around this in the next 4.5 weeks, I want to go into my birth just relaxed, happy, excited, trusting, etc. But I picture myself outside the OR (this is a scene from right before ds was born), telling the nurse I needed to sit up on the stretcher, and desperately looking for the easiest escape route.

I really wish I could look at it the way some of these people I talk to do.

I do need to at least get over the anxiety- if not become terribly excited about the way the baby comes out.

Maybe these people are just more trusting of the medical establishment?

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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