Can you refuse to have a male nurse? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 01-02-2004, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Can you do that? If you are having your baby in a hospital birthing center, and you have to have a Labor and Delivery nurse in there with you, can you refuse to have it be a man?? I would hate to have a man in the room when I was giving birth. Anyone have any experience with this??

, mama to DS(7/)22/02) DS (8/14/04) , and an angel (3/10/10)nursing a broken heart...loving my boys.
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#2 of 11 Old 01-02-2004, 01:35 PM
 
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I am a nurse, but not a labor and delivery nurse. However, you dont have to have anyone you dont want care for you. Its your right.

If it happens, ask for the charge nurse and tell her you want someone else. its that simple. they can and do switch assignments. i know, because i have done it! There is absolutely no reason why you should be uncomfortable giving birth.

good luck
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#3 of 11 Old 01-02-2004, 01:51 PM
 
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male l&d nurses have been declined...do it the way sweetbaby said...most are used to it and don't take it personally. I do find it confusing that some decline a male nurse who have male OBs. But there are lots of women that don't want any sort of man at their birth. So go for it! I've fired female nurses in the past because I didn't like them.
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#4 of 11 Old 01-02-2004, 05:49 PM
 
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I wrote on my birth plan, "I will not allow any men other than my partner to be there."

If they send them in anyway, just refuse anything he does. Don't let him hook up the monitor, examine you, or anything else. He will soon realize he is not wanted and won't come around anymore.
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#5 of 11 Old 01-06-2004, 08:59 PM
 
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Rest assure that my hubby would never be an L&D nurse. He is an RN. He says while he is happy to be in there with me, and excited about seeing our children born, he would never ever be an L&D nurse. And all his male RN associates at work are all the same way. My hubby works on the Telemetry floor, and will stay there (or in Recovery).

When you are in nursing school, even males have to "work" in the L&D and postpartum. With my 3rd baby, I did have a male nursing student bring me in meds and some water. But DH said he never had to go in and do assesments on woman in postpartum unless he really wanted to, which he didn't.

I wouldn't refuse though if there was a male nurse. I go to a male OB, and I love him!
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#6 of 11 Old 01-06-2004, 10:25 PM
 
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I had a male nurse in postpartum. He was so sweet. Right up front he told me that it was ok if I was uncomfortbale with h im or if my dh had problems with a man being my nirse he would totally understand and they would get me a new nurse. I said I didn't care and he was great. he was so scared of hurting me that he barely touched me and I was a mess because dd was in the NICU and he was the only nurse who asked what her name was , and how I chose it, and told me she was beautiful and all those other things new moms want people to ask them about. Anyway, labor though? not in a million years. My MW said if I was uncomfortable with a stranger in the room that I could forgo a L&D nurse all together. Fortunately I ended up having my baby in her office so her office nurse was my l&d nurse and hse totally rocked!

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#7 of 11 Old 01-07-2004, 12:34 AM
 
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The best nurse by far that my son and I had was a male nurse during my post partum recovery... he was absolutely the best and gentlest with both of us, *and* he was so darned efficient.

However, I think if you want to refuse a male nurse (or any other nurse on reasonable grounds), you should feel totally comfortable doing so.
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#8 of 11 Old 01-09-2004, 05:45 AM
 
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male nurse? in an ob ward? those exist? :LOL

i'm sure you can just request he not come in.

personally i have *never* seen a male nurse outside of the pediatric ward, in any hospital i've been to. well, with the exception of my friend mike who worked in the ER for awhile.
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#9 of 11 Old 01-12-2004, 10:44 AM
 
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If you don't want to say straight out that having a male nurse is not your preference for person reasons, why not say it offends your religion's standards of modesty? (I don't think you will be obliged to tell them WHICH religion you belong to. It's none of their business.)
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#10 of 11 Old 01-13-2004, 12:12 AM
 
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oops, double post

Wife, Mom, Health Services Researcher
Uno ('03) Dos ('08) and Tres (Aug '10)
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#11 of 11 Old 01-13-2004, 12:13 AM
 
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I had a real cute birth plan in which I requested no males in my room (for religiouse reasons, though you don't have to explain yourself). My husband handed copies of the birth plan out at the nurses station, along with a basket of chocolate (just to kinda smooth things, KWIM?). We also brought along our own door sign, that said 'no males please'.

With that said, I have to admit although we weren't visited by any male nurses, the attending OB was male. *sigh* What can you do? He was the only doctor on call, so I didn't have much choice. And honestly, by the time he showed up (which was about the same time the baby was CROWNING!), I could've cared less about his gender. GW himself could've walked into that room and I'd've said "slap on some gloves, my man - let's get this baby out!"

Have a great delivery!!!!!

Wife, Mom, Health Services Researcher
Uno ('03) Dos ('08) and Tres (Aug '10)
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