Musings about c/s and bonding... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 64 Old 04-28-2009, 03:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm still not 100% comfortable talking about this, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately (probably because I have another scheduled c/s coming up).

I've read a lot about the cocktail of hormones we produce during labour, and about their role in mother/baby attachment. Their role played out perfectly for me. I had trouble bonding to one of my children - dd, who was also my only labour-free section. (Okay - also the only one where my milk came in late, which I've been assured has nothing to do with a section, so...)

I basically used my brain to override. When I wasn't interested in holding the baby, I did it anyway. I made myself breastfeed, even when I didn't feel like it. Etc. etc. etc. I told myself over and over how much I'd wanted this baby, how long I'd tried to have her (9 years - her brother is 10 years older, and I was trying to have another for most of that time), how cute she was, etc. etc. I stroked her hair, and smelled her head (that sounds SO weird, but I think most moms know what I mean) and everything else I could think of. It worked, but it took time. She didn't feel like my baby at first...just a random little baby, although cute as can be.

Anyway...that all makes sense to me, from a biological standpoint. But...lots of women have scheduled c/s and don't have this happen. So, if it's biological, why do so many women not experience it? If it's not biological, why did I?

I hate c-sections...blech...

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#2 of 64 Old 04-28-2009, 03:58 PM
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those are hard to answer questions. over in the UC forum, we're having a similar discussion.

i think that 1. few people talk about it, so it probably seems less common than it is. afterall, it is apparently some kind of sin to feel whatever one feels, yk? (btw, it isn't i'm just saying that we have a lot of cultural pressures), and 2. few people make a connection between what happened at birth, hormones or lack there of, etc with these feelings if they do have them.

i also think that a part of it may be how one goes for the c-section. a lot of people go happily; you're not. they're less attuned overall--many people are less attuned--and so what they experience is what they expect it to be, for it to be 'normal' or 'everyone feels this way.'

but here you are going, "no, this isn't what it is." and you worked tirelessly to get to the level of connection that you knew or sensed existed, and i think that other women are realizing this as well.

i hope that this next birth, even though a c-section, can bring you even more clarity and self knowledge to share with others. i hope that you have a blessed experience bonding with your baby. i think that accepting the c-section might help (emotionally accepting it at every level). look at it as your ideal birth for this situation, and see if that shift makes things even the tiniest bit better.
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#3 of 64 Old 04-28-2009, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i hope that this next birth, even though a c-section, can bring you even more clarity and self knowledge to share with others. i hope that you have a blessed experience bonding with your baby. i think that accepting the c-section might help (emotionally accepting it at every level). look at it as your ideal birth for this situation, and see if that shift makes things even the tiniest bit better.
I've been working on that...not there yet, though. After 7 months, I've managed (mostly) to reach "resigned". I'm feeling a bit better than I ever thought I would about a scheduled c/s - probably because it was my decision, not a random doctor's or a convenience thing. And, at least after dd, I know it can get to where I want it to be, no matter how much it doesn't feel that way at first. I'm fully expecting this to be my best c/s...it's just that it doesn't have to be very good at all to reach that status, yk?

I spent the weekend in Atlanta, at the ICAN conference - it helped. Actually, that's the whole reason I went, because I knew it would...

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#4 of 64 Old 04-28-2009, 05:39 PM
 
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I am not sure I have any wisdom to offer, but I wanted to offer a and a hope that the bonding happens without work this time. Interestingly, I was most easily bonded to my most traumatic of my c-section babies straight from birth. I never went into labor, but had some pre-labor with the last 3, and I think my hormones were in the right place for #2 and #3.

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#5 of 64 Old 04-28-2009, 06:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am not sure I have any wisdom to offer, but I wanted to offer a and a hope that the bonding happens without work this time. Interestingly, I was most easily bonded to my most traumatic of my c-section babies straight from birth.
I seem to be most bonded with the most labour...unfortunately, that translates into my strongest initial bond being with Aaron. That kind of...sucked...

It's funny - I never thought of that before, but it does seem to have worked that way. Of course, it's hard to say how strong the bond was with Aaron...lots of other emotions to complicate things.

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I never went into labor, but had some pre-labor with the last 3, and I think my hormones were in the right place for #2 and #3.
Yeah - I was in very early/pre labour with ds2 (some bloody show and about 1cm dilation) when the c-section was done, and I definitely had the head-over-heels thing with him.

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#6 of 64 Old 04-28-2009, 06:19 PM
 
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I seem to be most bonded with the most labour...unfortunately, that translates into my strongest initial bond being with Aaron. That kind of...sucked...
I think of you and Aaron so much

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#7 of 64 Old 04-29-2009, 11:33 AM
 
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I think a lot more women experience this, they just don't admit it! But that totally happened to me, just like you said. no labor at all, it was just like having my wisdom teeth extracted, but with a longer recovery and a screaming kid at the end.
It took almost 5 days for my milk to come in. I worked hard to nurse and pump, and we syringe-fed her for days. fortunately she did better as soon as I left the hospital and all of the related narcotics (that they swore wouldn't have any effect on her)... I held her all the time even if I didn't feel like i, I smelled her hair, coslept... it still took months of this before I felt like she was mine.
even though I was awake for the c/s, my bp was super-low and I was really out of it. The only thing I remember is the smell of my skin burning. If I hadn't seen the pictures and if DH & our midwife hadn't been there I wouldn't believe she was mine.

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#8 of 64 Old 04-29-2009, 02:23 PM
 
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I never really thought about it, but I had a lot harder time bonding with ds#1. I had a c-section with him, though 36 hours of labor as well.

The big thing was that my milk took 5 days to come in. With ds#2, I had a scheduled, no labor, c-section, but the bonding was much faster. That time, my milk only took 2 days to come in. I think that made a big difference for me.
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#9 of 64 Old 04-29-2009, 02:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Betsy...my milk took a while with dd, too. That definitely complicated the emotional side of things (already complicated...two c/s, years of secondary infertility and 3 m/c had already messed up my self-image as a woman and mother pretty badly). She lost over a pound in her first three days.

She's a sweetie and a half now, though - and seems to adore me totally. I guess it all worked out.

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#10 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 12:28 PM
 
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I have had 3 c-sections, 2 with no labour (but not scheduled per se, I had pre-eclampsia), and 1 with 25 hours of labour. For me the one I did labour with was the one I had a hard time bonding. I don't mean to be rude but do you think that it may have been because of your feelings regarding the c-section itself, not the hormones? I think negative feelings would make it hard to bond. I really hope that you can find some peace with all this before your birth...and it IS a birth. My third c-section was so healing for me, it was really a wonderful experience. I got pictures of her being born, everyone was calm and happy, I got to hold her and nurse her right away and the nurses TOLD me to co-sleep with her so I could care for her better. It look back on it very fondly. A c-section birth can be an amazing birth. It really can. IMO, it is a choice to think positively about it. Your body has grown and will bring forth life. That's amazing and wonderful! :

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#11 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have had 3 c-sections, 2 with no labour (but not scheduled per se, I had pre-eclampsia), and 1 with 25 hours of labour. For me the one I did labour with was the one I had a hard time bonding. I don't mean to be rude but do you think that it may have been because of your feelings regarding the c-section itself, not the hormones? I think negative feelings would make it hard to bond.
It seems unlikely. I've hated all my c/s with a passion...except for losing Aaron, they've been the worst experiences of my life. And, my first was probably the most traumatic, since it was done after I refused.

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I really hope that you can find some peace with all this before your birth...and it IS a birth. My third c-section was so healing for me, it was really a wonderful experience.
I hear this a lot. I've been trying to get there for 7 months, and it's not happening. I'm resigned - best I can manage so far.

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I got pictures of her being born,
My c/s with ds2 was the best of them all, except for having the pictures. The few times I've looked at them, they make me want to puke. I want to delete them from my computer, but I can't bring myself to do that, because they're the only "birth" pictures I've got.

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everyone was calm and happy, I got to hold her and nurse her right away and the nurses TOLD me to co-sleep with her so I could care for her better. It look back on it very fondly. A c-section birth can be an amazing birth. It really can. IMO, it is a choice to think positively about it. Your body has grown and will bring forth life. That's amazing and wonderful! :
I got to nurse ds2 right away, too. I would have been able to with dd, except that they didn't have a room to put me in (L&D had filled up). They can't always pull it off, for various reasons (mostly boiling down to the hospital not really being big enough for the community it serves), but getting baby with mom asap is standard operating procedure.

My body will not bring forth life. I'm sure it's very comforting to be able to look at it like that, but I can't. My body has brought forth four deaths...but the OB will bring forth life. If it were left up to me, and my body, I might as well be infertile for all the life I've brought forth. I can grow them just fine (now - still don't know what the infertility was all about) but I can't bring them forth. I just kill them. Being on the table is just a reminder that my body doesn't work. That's all.

I want this baby and I'll even go through another freaking c-section for him or her...but it's not a wonderful experience. It's devastating. For the first time in my life, I just want my childbearing years over, so I'll never have to go through another pregnancy terrified of surgery.

I think it's great that some women can come to terms with cesareans. So far, at least, I can't. I get all kinds of advice about thinking of ways to make it better or whatever. I've got them. Take away the needle in my spine and numbness. Take away the cutting me open part. Take away the whole "don't pick up anything heavier than your baby, even though you have older kids" part. Take away not being able to roll over in bed. Take away wondering whether the odds are going to catch up with me, and something will actually go wrong this time (skin infection and permanent loss of bladder sensation are apparently not complications). There you go. That would make it better. Unfortunately...kind of hard to do that, yk? I hate surgery. I hate every part of surgery. The fact that the recovery is combined with trying to establish breastfeeding and look after a baby doesn't make it better. It makes it worse.

This isn't a birth...and if it is, I'm not the one doing it. Lying there dead from the chest down, while someone cuts open my belly, does not constitute giving birth. I'm truly happy that you can see it that way. I can't. A c-section is an exercise in total powerlessness, fear and pain - that's all. Oh - not quite all. It's one big, fat, ugly reminder that my body does not work. If my body were so freaking amazing, I wouldn't be getting up on that table again...because I could actually give birth to my child.

So...no - I don't think it was my feelings about the c-section. I didn't hate that one any more or less than any of the others...although it's the one I regret the most. There was no reason at all for her to be cut out of me without labour, and it will be a long time before I can forgive myself for letting them do that to me and to her, just because I freaked.

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#12 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 01:36 PM
 
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do you think that it may have been because of your feelings regarding the c-section itself, not the hormones?
All of our situations are unique, but I think this is a distinct possibility, for anyone.

I'd say that I had an easier time initially bonding with, and I know my milk came in earlier with, my first child, who was born by scheduled c-section for breech (no labor). It was a relatively peaceful birth (though I really hated the recovery - very painful for me, physically). All my other kids were vbac (two epidural, one unmedicated). For my most recent vbac, completely unmedicated, I had a fast, intense labor and the fetal ejection reflex, and it was violent and physically traumatic. When the doc wanted to put him on my chest, all I could think was "get that thing away from me!!" (what an awful sentence to run through my head, what kind of horrible mother thinks such a thought. And that's my fifth baby!) I said the proverbial "I am never doing this again."

I can't say that I was ever in love with any of my babies from the moment of birth - it always seemed to take a little bit of time. Generally speaking, I'd say that I bonded with my first child quicker than the others, in spite of the fact that she's a difficult, high maintenance kid (and was since she was a baby). Perhaps because there was only one of her, and no other kids around to distract me, and in spite of the fact that the entire concept of motherhood was foreign. I never thought it would happen. For me, all my feelings about motherhood were greatly clouded by the scars of infertility for many years. #2 and #3 were ivf twins. I didn't feel like a real mom until well after I had #4, five years after my first child was born. (the irony in having a surprise #6 now at age 41 is overwhelming.)

I guess what I'm saying is that there are a lot of factors besides hormones that are probably at work with regard to how we feel we are bonding with our babies after birth. I know I'm very lucky to have been able to vbac, and physically the easier recovery for me is well worth the really hard labor, and it's been an interesting experience I suppose, but for me the form of birth itself hasn't made any difference that I can see regarding feelings for and bonding with my babies. I didn't have a wonderful hormonal response even after my unmedicated birth. Certainly I'm hoping to avoid a section again, and I wish everyone had that option. Certainly I would be very disappointed if it doesn't work out, and the recovery would really be awful with this many kids in the house. But I don't imagine that it will affect bonding with the baby. Though I'm concerned about my attention being so divided (especially with my current baby being only 13 months older), the fact is that this is our last baby, and increased confidence as a mom (at least with babies LOL) I am expecting will make bonding pretty easy.

Thinking some more, how we feel about our births also involves at least something about our expectations. I had no real expectations before my c-section. I remember the prep nurse asking something about my baby - and I thought, "baby? what baby? I'm really going to actually have a baby??" I didn't expect the recovery to be as rough as it was, but I didn't know any different either. Similarly, with the unmedicated birth, I really didn't know what to expect - I learned a lot, because I had found these boards just before that - but I had no concept of the intensity involved. I'm hoping that if I am able to do it again (and I still haven't even decided on whether I want an epi, though I'm going ahead with the assumption that there won't be time anyway), knowing exactly what to expect will make a big difference in how I feel about the birth itself.

Sorry for the muddled thoughts... I'm just agreeing with the PP that the causes of our feelings may have multiple factors, and my own experience (which is of course unique to me) does not seem to show a clear effect of natural birth hormones on bonding.
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#13 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 01:47 PM
 
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So...no - I don't think it was my feelings about the c-section. I didn't hate that one any more or less than any of the others...although it's the one I regret the most. There was no reason at all for her to be cut out of me without labour, and it will be a long time before I can forgive myself for letting them do that to me and to her, just because I freaked.
Hmmm... could this last part, about not being able to forgive yourself, play a role (re: your feelings about/bonding with your baby)? I'm not sure what it could mean, and I have to run, but that just strikes me as something to think through a bit further...
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#14 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 01:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hmmm... could this last part, about not being able to forgive yourself, play a role (re: your feelings about/bonding with your baby)? I'm not sure what it could mean, and I have to run, but that just strikes me as something to think through a bit further...
I don't think so. I didn't get into the self-blame loop until a lot later. I was too mad at the OB to take my share of the blame at first.

I honestly have trouble forgiving myself for any of my sections, except the first (even I'm not quite so into self-blame that I'll put it on me when a refusal is ignored...although I sometimes feel I should have fought harder, physically). It's just worst with dd, because there was no reason not to go into labour.

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#15 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 02:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Reading through all this again, I'm also wondering now if it makes any difference how close one is to spontaneous labour. Based on gestation with her full brothers (obviously, that's not 100% indicative of when I'd have gone into labour with dd, but it's at least a clue), the section was probably done at least 2 weeks, maybe more, before I would have gone into labour. I wonder when the hormones start to build up...can't be after labour starts, or what would start labour in the first place?

Oh, well - this one is also going to be well before the baby is ready to be born, so what will be, will be.

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#16 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 02:58 PM
 
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Lisa, I hear your intense pain. I know you have no yet found peace, and don't expect to, but I will continue to hope it somehow happens for you.

I'll be honest that I still fear the c-sections, as soon as I get a BFP I start worrying about it all, but I also have come to some sense of peace with it all. Doesn't mean that I don't dream of an accidental HBA4C that actually ends with a healthy baby and mama, but- it is not something that will actually happen for me, unless God wills it, so - I guess for me, it is my faith that brings me peace in it all.

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#17 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 03:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really have no faith. I was supposed to be low-risk, and little chance of having my first section (completely perfect pregnancy right up until I got to the hospital). He turned breech in labour...which I've actually been told multiple times is impossible for a first-time mom, but it obviously isn't...just not common. So...no reason to expect a problem, but I got one.

I had no problem conceiving ds1, and except for the section, nothing changed. That didn't stop it from taking 3.5 years to conceive again. My perfect first pregnancy didn't stop me from having 3 m/c.

When I was pregnant with dd, everybody thought I'd VBAC. Even my doctor and OB said my chances were "excellent", and there was no reason to think my baby would be breech. As far as anyone knows, my uterus isn't bicornate (think that's the word?), and my odds were excellent...but I had another one.

DS2 is one I don't even like to talk about, because I can't figure out why I thought losing that particular OB was even a potential problem. So what if he dropped me? Whatever. I caved again. Great section. Everything should have been fine. Somehow, though, I ended up with an incision infection and permanent numbness in my bladder and a good chunk of my pelvis and abdomen. I really thought at first that cesareans could...maybe...be better than I'd thought. Funny stuff.

And, Aaron? Crap. I was a good candidate there, too - or as good as anyone is after 3 sections. I'd never had a pregnancy-related health concern of any kind. My sections were for presentation and post-dates...never for anything emergent or particularly threatening. Even during my labour, nothing major was wrong...just lots of little things outside guidelines. And, he died.

So, I have no faith, except for my faith that something will go wrong. There is no control. There is no power. There is absolutely NO reason to expect this c-section not to go well...no reason at all - except experience. My recoveries (except with Aaron, but there were a lot of factors complicating that) are excellent. But, you know what? I've never had any reason at all to expect any kind of problem with birth - all healthy pregnancies, all healthy babies (unless Aaron had some kind of congenital problem - don't have his autopsy yet)...and, yet...something always goes wrong. Since "going right" this time means having an unwanted section...yeah, I'm worried. I have no reason at all to think this will be the one time it goes okay. ORs screw up your body. That's what they do. That's what they're for - a sterile (hahahaha) place to inflict a major wound...that's the good outcome. And, I don't believe in good outcomes, anymore. At least when you have no hope, it's hard to be disappointed.

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#18 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 05:11 PM
 
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I think it's great that some women can come to terms with cesareans. So far, at least, I can't. I get all kinds of advice about thinking of ways to make it better or whatever. I've got them. Take away the needle in my spine and numbness. Take away the cutting me open part. Take away the whole "don't pick up anything heavier than your baby, even though you have older kids" part. Take away not being able to roll over in bed. Take away wondering whether the odds are going to catch up with me, and something will actually go wrong this time (skin infection and permanent loss of bladder sensation are apparently not complications). There you go. That would make it better. Unfortunately...kind of hard to do that, yk? I hate surgery. I hate every part of surgery. The fact that the recovery is combined with trying to establish breastfeeding and look after a baby doesn't make it better. It makes it worse.
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Random thoughts:

I haven't had difficulties bonding with either of my girls, the first an unplanned c/s, the second scheduled. That said, I was having contractions, albeit weak and not anything close to active labor, when I went in on April 1, so perhaps the hormonal process was already started. I also had more fears about this one, despite a textbook pregnancy, so perhaps the relief of having a healthy babe in my arms also fed into that.

Maybe if there were a chance of a vbac or hbac in my town--and if I weren't pushing 45--I'd think about having a third child. But I don't see the policies and the birth culture changing anytime soon. And I won't subject myself to another section. And I won't subject my daughters to the upheaval of having me 3 hours away for a birth. Hard enough for my oldest as it was--10 minutes away and visited every day. We've been dealing with her recovering from the separation for most of the last month.

With 38w6d to think about it, I was resigned to the c/s for the birth of my second daughter (though I hoped for a precipitous labor!) but it didn't stop me from breaking down right before surgery. All I could say was "this is not the way babies are supposed to be born".... And the experience itself was really freaky and unpleasant in a way that my first section wasn't.

Storm Bride, and any other mother who has had more than two c/s....I don't know how you do it.

Mom of two girls.
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#19 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 05:47 PM
 
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It is funny, I have one c-section, my second, that I really really regret and feel I made the wrong choice to allow it. And- I *knew* it, ykwim? I freaked out just outside the OR and started looking for the nearest exit. I know *I* went wrong there, and maybe if I hadn't my others would have been VBACs too.

I also had an unexpected, pre-labor non-catastrophic rupture with #3, I had no idea that could happen, and it made my choice for an "elective" c-section with #4 and now #5 much "easier".

With #4, I had some pre-term labor and we were so worried about a real rupture that we took him at 37 weeks. He was SO healthy though! It felt like a miracle to me- his apgars were better than any of my others, even those born at 39 weeks.

I admit I do feel like I am rolling the dice this time, I worry about what are my chances of having another c-section that results in a healthy baby and healthy me that go home 2 days later.

I just have to trust, I think it is partly a personality/temperament issue, or an issue of being raised in a faith that never said everything would be ok (the Catholics have all of those suffering Saints to look up to! ).

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#20 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 05:50 PM
 
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... (Okay - also the only one where my milk came in late, which I've been assured has nothing to do with a section, so...)
...
C-sections are definitely associated with breastfeeding problems!
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#21 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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C-sections are definitely associated with breastfeeding problems!
Apparently, the removal of the placenta is what triggers milk production, so my milk should have come in just like with the others. This seems to be pretty certain knowledge, but it does seem weird that it was only my labour-free one that ended up delaying my milk coming in...

*sigh*
I hope I ditch this cold soon. Being ill does not help me stay upbeat.

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#22 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 07:06 PM
 
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Milk is a blood product - your breasts use up blood volume to make the milk. Which means if for some reason you have lost a lot of blood (like PPH or a c-section - the "normal" bloodloss in a c-section would be considered a PPH if it came ut of your vagina) your body protects your vital organs and systems and struggles to make the milk. The hormones can be perfect but if there's not enough blood volume for it all to work then it doesn't work. I have a friend who had a forceps delivery followed by a PPH and then 2 haematomas (and surgery for both) in the following 48 hours. Her colostrum dried up on day 2 and never came back at all, not a drop, and her milk never transpired either. SHe'd been dripping colostrum since she was 19weeks pregnant.

Is there any way you can get your notes and find out if you lost more blood with that surgery than the others?
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#23 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 07:46 PM
 
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Milk is a blood product - your breasts use up blood volume to make the milk. Which means if for some reason you have lost a lot of blood (like PPH or a c-section - the "normal" bloodloss in a c-section would be considered a PPH if it came ut of your vagina) your body protects your vital organs and systems and struggles to make the milk. The hormones can be perfect but if there's not enough blood volume for it all to work then it doesn't work. I have a friend who had a forceps delivery followed by a PPH and then 2 haematomas (and surgery for both) in the following 48 hours. Her colostrum dried up on day 2 and never came back at all, not a drop, and her milk never transpired either. SHe'd been dripping colostrum since she was 19weeks pregnant.

Is there any way you can get your notes and find out if you lost more blood with that surgery than the others?
I wonder if that's one of the reasons that they pump so much saline into you post surgery....to get the blood volume back up?

Mom of two girls.
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#24 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 07:58 PM
 
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I wonder if that's one of the reasons that they pump so much saline into you post surgery....to get the blood volume back up?
Maybe. It definitely helps with blood pressure, but saline isn't blood. I do know that because (bagged) blood is precious they tend to see a certain amount of loss as "normal" with surgery and don't transfuse automatically - i think 600ml is considered normal loss for a cs, 500ml+ is a PPH for a vaginal birth. That's not to say you would get a transfusion for a 600ml loss either way (vaginal or cs) but more that they would be watching you carefully after a 500ml PPH, whereas though they care for you after a cs, there seems to be little focus on bloodloss-related problems.
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#25 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 08:09 PM
 
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Trauma can affect supply as can stress.

I had a blood transfusion after surgery and did not have an issue with supply, though that is anecdotal.

I did labor with dd and did not feel *more* bonded to her than I did my son, with whom I did not labor at all.

I don't think there is an easy answer like lack of hormones or breastfeeding. I think there are as many variances to that as there are snowflakes.

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#26 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 08:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is there any way you can get your notes and find out if you lost more blood with that surgery than the others?
I've read all my records. I'd have to doublecheck, but my memory says my blood loss has been estimated at 1000 ml each time. I think it might have been higher with Aaron. (I certainly looked as though it was higher with Aaron...scary pale, and fairly severe anemia.) I believe I was told that they consider up to 1000ml to be normal for a c/s.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#27 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay...

DS1: estimated 500cc.
DD: "blood loss less than 800cc"
DS2: estimated 800 ml

I guess the 1000 was with Aaron. In any case, it looks as though I lost about the same with dd and ds2...and ds2 nursed like a champ, and lost a whopping 7.5 oz. in 3 days...even though he started out at 10lb. 8oz. He was maintaining body weight pretty well. DD just wasn't getting anything...anything at all.

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#28 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 09:54 PM
 
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Lisa, I hear your intense pain. I know you have no yet found peace, and don't expect to, but I will continue to hope it somehow happens for you.
I agree. I can feel the anguish just reading your words and hope that you somehow can come to a place of peace in the future.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#29 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 10:09 PM
 
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Uggh. I've had 5 sections and NEVER -EVER- had trouble bonding with my babies. The second I saw them I forgot I was on an operating table, all I knew was that beautiful new face.

I can appreciate and respect that some women are different. So I speak only for me - BUT...

What makes me angry enough to spit nails is people making c/s moms think they WON'T bond with their babies, they WON'T be able to nurse...or even WALK, etc. OR THAT I AM SOMEHOW LESS BECAUSE I DIDN'T PUSH THEM OUT.

For ME - none of it was true. I couldn't have bonded to my children better if they came out my ear.

I found LABOR traumatic, thanks. I've gone home way sooner than exhausted long labor moms. Does it make me better? Of course not...but pushing a baby out doesn't make THEM better either.

So yeah - natural = better. I wish with everything in me I could have done it, I really do. My kids, however, are no worse off having come out of a cut in my stomach. I, personally, do not understand the level of - eh - around sections. Me. Myself. For ME, it was really really easy.

The judgment irritates me up, down & sideways. To the point of missing out on my entire last pregnancy because I was so focused on doing something I knew damn well I couldn't. And THAT hurt me, robbed me and makes me angry. At me.

/intense irritation.

Lisa - times infinity. I know how hard this is for you. You're a great mom to face this and do what you have to for the babe. It sucks, it's not what is ideal and it will be hard. Believe me when I tell you if I could do something to take it away I would. Wishing you peace.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#30 of 64 Old 04-30-2009, 10:17 PM
 
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My milk came in really late with my first child- 5 days after the section, it was awful! The second time was more normal, probably 3 days. The last 2 times, my milk was in less than 48 hours later, with #3 it was honestly the next day, the LC at the hospital were shocked! I wasn't tandem nursing with any of them.

This time I will most likely be tandem nursing, so I expect the milk to come in plenty quickly. I found it had a lot to do with the child's suck, which can be off from being born too early, or from the pain meds making them sleepy, etc.

I recall being very worried that my last would have issues with nursing as I knew he would be born the earliest (37 weeks), but he nursed well and my milk came in quickly.

rmzbm- glad to hear from someone who has done this 5 times, as I approach #5 in Sept!

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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