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Old 01-12-2004, 10:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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im so confused!!!!
it seems like everyone is trying to pressure me into getting a c-section!
my placenta is starting to calcify but its not close to a point of concern yet
my blood pressure is fine!
i have plenty of amniotic fluid according to the ultrasounds!
my nst's are all good
the baby is active, so active its hard for them to keep her on the nst!

im 41 weeks
im just lost!

my first was a section and i had a very rough time!
it even screwed me up on nursing
do people think its just that easy to go through that??
i dont think they really know
especially if they have a 21 month old to deal with also!

i dont know what to do
shuold i make everyone happy and screw up my life and my little girls cause i wont be able to nurse her properly
i couldnt even turn on my side cause it was to painful on me
i couldnt even get out if my bed without help!
i couldnt even wash myself
or dress myself it was to hard
im confused really
there is definetly no way i will be able to take care of 2 babies if i have a section
its just not right!
i dont want to be unconcience after a section
i dont want to be on pain killers cause i couldnt even keep my eyes open to even feed my baby!
it was just to rough on me!
i dont want them to take my baby away from me shes mine not theres
i cant speak my mind about my own baby if i cant see whats going on you know
i dont want anything done to her
i dont want that crap put in her eyes after she is born i dont have gonorrehea so there is no need for that.
how can i tell them this stuff if im not awake to!?? i can't do it

what would you do??? how would you feel???
i mean this is rough ... this is gonna make my blood pressure go up by thinking about it you know??


what shuold i do
why wont she come out!????
cry!!!!!!!!!!
this is hard on me!

tina
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Old 01-12-2004, 10:27 PM
 
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Ok

Are you with an OB/GYN or midwife???

If you are seeing an OB right now, I would find the earthiest, crunchiest, granola midwife you can find......maybe even try emailing a few....see if you can get a ONE TIME consult (my midwives do it for something like $65) and start on herbal induction. If you don't want a C Sec, you're just stressing yourself out....try to be proactive and get some herbs going, heck maybe even get your membranes stripped.....see if you can't get things going that way. As long as the baby is fine, it can't hurt to try that stuff for a couple of days, right?

I had a medically oriented midwife who stripped my membranes as a "last resort" before being induced, and it worked like a charm....


Good luck
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Old 01-12-2004, 10:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i havent even started to dialate yet my cervix is still closed tightly so they cant get up there i want to do the herbal things
i dont have any money to go towards anything i dont have a job so this is rough on me!
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Old 01-12-2004, 11:09 PM
 
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When you say "everyone," who are you talking about? Grandparents who are anxious to meet the baby? Friends who have no idea what you're in for? Your ob, who stands to make more money in less time off a repeat c/s? Stand strong, woman. Continue to make the choices that are in your (& your baby's) best interest.

You sound like a mama who could use some relief (I know, that will come after the baby is out...)

How do you feel about a glass of wine? Or a cup of chamomile tea?

This evening after you've done the essentials for today (including digging up the info on herbs, if that's what you want to do)...tuck your toddler into bed, take the phone off the hook, run yourself a nice bath, light some candles, sip your beverage and enjoy one of your last evenings of being pregnant with this baby. Really. Soak in the water and let all that tension out. Don't dwell on your birth or on what life will be like after your new baby arrives, just sit in the tub in the here and now for a little while. You deserve to pamper yourself.

And if you're up for it, a little lovin' when you get out of the tub definately wouldn't hurt!



edited to add: Do you have a doula? I read where you said that money is tight for you right now...a lot of times doulas in training will attend their certifying births for a reduced fee or even for free. It may be worth the piece of mind to know that you've got an advocate on your side when your babe does decide to make an appearance!

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Old 01-12-2004, 11:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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everyone is worried about something happening to the baby cause shes overdue
my doctor is worried about my blood pressure but it has been fine! he said he not mad or anything he said he would continue to monitor me and everything but he said the risks are rising the longer i wait!

i dont know he said hes not trying to scare me into a section but he just doesnt want to see anything bad happening!
they keep telling me that the baby could have problems and all that stuff so i dont know what to do!
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Old 01-13-2004, 01:32 AM
 
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I guarantee you it will come out. Babies are very smart about these matters and when allowed, come out at the time that is perfect for them. Yours knows the time isn't right.

If you want to be more comfortable and stop everyone from pestering you, try this: stop answering your phone, or take it off the hook. Maybe leave a message saying the baby isn't here yet. Don't accept visitors at your home. Don't make any more doctors' appointments - stay home until you are in transition labor. That way it will be too late for a c/s as well as an induction.

40 weeks is a made-up lie, just like 42 weeks. A normal pregnancy lasts 37 to 43 weeks. Variations of normal can be shorter or longer by a week or two, and are no cause for alarm.
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Old 01-13-2004, 01:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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my doctors are monitoring me they want to make sure everythingis going ok but at the same time they are making me worry about the baby being malnurished from a calcified placenta its not so much the phone cause i hardly ever talk to people on the phone and the people that call me dont bother me its the doctors telling me that im high risk right now! they are telling me the baby could be to large to fit cause she hasnt even dropped yet my cervix is closed tightly but yet the doctor said it could happen really fast at any time... i just dont understand what she is waiting for in there my doctor wont induce me either i dont want to be induced either... but i also dont want him to deny me his services for going beyond this... you know what i mean..!! i can understand hes worried! but i tell him im fine! but they are seeing calcification in my placenta but not to much to worry about yet!
i dont know! its all confusing!
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Old 01-19-2004, 01:58 AM
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FWIW, all placentas have calcification by 40 weeks. If your BP is still good then that is a good sign that your placenta is fine as well. Just keep drinking water!

My son was born at 42 weeks to the day. The day before, my midwife had checked me and said he still sounded great (we did a NST by fetoscope) but since I was getting stressed she said we could try some herbs. When she handed me the bottles, I started contracting for real, and had my ds the next night.

How are you doing now?

XM
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Old 01-19-2004, 02:40 AM
 
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"Calcified placenta" is one of those terms invented to scare women. It works, doesn't it? We believe that although our other body parts are functioning well, somehow the placenta was selectively designed to fail past a certain number of weeks.

If the uterus were not healthy for the baby, the baby would get out. That's why well-nourished women often carry 42+ weeks, and why starvation is listed as a way to "naturally" induce labor.
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Old 01-24-2004, 10:36 PM
 
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FYI- She had her lil girl on Sunday the 18th......

The stupid OB "Let" her labor for a few hours.... Then due to "Failure to progress" : They did another C-sec.

Had phone contact w/ her a few times... She is Struggling with healing & BF, but thinkgs seem to be going ok. .......

Where are you Tina??
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Old 01-24-2004, 11:04 PM
 
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Why do people become doctors if they are the type to exhibit "failure to be patient?" Why choose obstetrics? Why not something like dentistry, when you can yank a tooth out and not have to wait around until it wants to come out?
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Old 01-24-2004, 11:49 PM
 
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Good Question, Greaseball!
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Old 01-24-2004, 11:51 PM
 
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Must be a POWER thing.....

Yanno... the whole GOD COMPLEX.
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Old 01-25-2004, 01:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Greaseball
Why do people become doctors if they are the type to exhibit "failure to be patient?" Why choose obstetrics? Why not something like dentistry, when you can yank a tooth out and not have to wait around until it wants to come out?


good question

l, <>< wife to my sweetie, proud mama to 3 cubs, 2 who clw & 1 that i i ep for . baby was evicted early by induction due to severe pre-e/hellp syndrome
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Old 01-26-2004, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hi everyone!! sorry about this lateness im very busy these days and still busy!
my birth story hmmm..... :-(
not what i wanted it to be i will tell you that!
i wanted a normal unstressful birthing experience..
Didn't get it!
i was pressured from the time i got to the hospital
They wanted that baby out so bad...
I was just in the first stages of labor....
I think i even lost my mucus plug when i got there...
i was having contractions since 2:00 in the morning on sunday
they were like 5 to 6 minutes apart. well i didn't know if i should
have waited at home or not but i decided i should go in so they
can monitor me while i labored since i was a vbac.. i guess that was a poor choice on my hands!!!!
they didn't even put me in a labor delivery room.. I was kept in Triage with monitors hooked up to me waiting for me to tell them yes to the section!!!
they were putting me through alot of crap.. they showed me a ultrasound with the calcification of the placenta in it she said i was a stage 4 in the calcification process.... well she said that if it got any worse the baby could be still born and she was asking me how would you feel if your baby died?? you would feel really bad wouldn't you? this lady was something else!! they were getting fed up with me i think!! but they wouldnt let up until i said yes!! i didn't know what to do ?? you know what are you suppose to say to someone that tells you something like that??
You don't want your baby to die! you know!!
but i was in the first stages of labor. My cervix was just starting to soften. i was doing good. i think if they would have let me have a trial labor for a day she would have got here normally!
they were also saying that this baby isn't gonna fit its a big baby in there!! they were thinking 10 or more lbs.
SHe was 8 14 she was little to me !! i could have pushed her out!
It was absolutely horrible what i had to go through!!
Well as soon as i agreed to the section they started prepping me for it. they started prepping me at about 4:00 that evening and said they were gonna do the section at 6:00 well i didn't get back there until like 7:45 i had her at 8:01.!! all i could do it cry on the table and everyone that looked at me i told them i was a failure i told them i was a failure the whole time i was laying on the table!!!
they kept telling me i wasn't a failure!! you have a beautiful little girl!
Yeah i know but im still a failure.. It doesn't make me feel like a natural momma.. i told them i could have done it!!
i don't think they understand that !!!
so everyone that i talk to i ball about it i feel like a failure!! i should have said no! no no no leave me alone!! but i didn't i gave in so that is why i feel like a failure!! i made everyone else happy!!!
atleast they didn't put me to sleep this time after the surgury i told them no!! i want to know where i am at.. and where my baby is... i want my baby!! i got to nurse her for the first time in the little recovery room.. and they wheeled me into my room!!
i barely got any sleep there in my room
it was terrible experience
it hard to take care of a baby when you are in pain!!
they had me on a morphine drip at first that was making me sick!!! i kept throwing up everytime i drank something!!!
then they took that out and put me on darvacets that was better for me
well theres more like the pediatrician that came into our room to check the baby shes a trip in a half!! she was there when i had joshua also!! she thought i was a druggie when joshua was born they made him take a pee test i don't do anything but drink water!! she suspected that cause joshua was shaky but it was because he was becoming dehydrated cause the nurse told us to only give him like a ounce of formula every 2 hours well he needed more then that..
well this time she sent a social worker up to our room the day we were discharged!! cause she didn't think i was feeding her enough food!! cause i wasn't supplementing her with formula!! i wanted her to have my food not the formula you know?? she was losing alot of weight i guess she got down to 8 2 when we left they said they worry about it when it becomes a 10 percent weight loss well she was like 9 percent they said. plus i think she was mad cause we had another pediatrician other then her Jealousy i guess it was. She didn't think we were gonna make her an appointment for friday that was this friday that just passed!! to get a weight check.. she even called and hassled the doctor that i brought her too.. he said he just ignored her... heheheh plus she was mad cause i didn't get that vitamin k shot or the hepatitus b shot.... its my choice!!! she fine without it!! the social worker couldn't understand why she even came to my room .. she congratualated me talked a bit and left .. like a waste of trip attitude.. just nodded her head about that pediatrician..
People are strange i guess!!!!
well i have to go i will talk again!!!

Love Tina
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Old 01-26-2004, 10:44 PM
 
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Tina: warmest of hugs to you...

Welcome to the world, Kristen Nicole! Your mama will take good care of you, so make sure you give her lots of love.

warmly,
claudia
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Old 01-26-2004, 11:40 PM
 
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she was asking me how would you feel if your baby died?? you would feel really bad wouldn't you? this lady was something else!! they were getting fed up with me i think!! but they wouldnt let up until i said yes!! i didn't know what to do ?? you know what are you suppose to say to someone that tells you something like that??
Well that's the rudest thing someone can say to a woman in labor. Sorry you had to hear that. If anyone asks me that I'll tell them that of course I would never forgive myself if my baby died and that's why I'm having it at home, where there is barely any chance of that happening!
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Old 01-28-2004, 04:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well on top of all this happening i never told you all what else was happening in my life
Earlier in december i found out my husband was talking to this girl alot and they started to get this little fling going.. well he felt bad about that i guess .. thats what he told me when i found out he said he was glad that i found out cause he didn't know how to tell me that it happened.. he said all the did was kiss one time.. this girl that he was talking to was his cousins girlfriend.. pretty sad huhh... it started out as a helping her out type friendship cause her and her boyfriend was having hard times and he was trying to help her and give her ideas well things got a little too close with her and my husband...... well after that was over and i thought i got him back .. .i was wrong..... he said he felt bad ..
well now he left me .. cause this thing is he hasn't been feeling loved from me.. i have been pretty bad.... he said i havent showed him love for two years.. well i have been practically pregnant for two years and both of these pregnancies have been rough on me with the pressure... well how am i suppose to feel like doing anything when i am like that.... well everything is ending for us..... he says he loves me but he is not in love with me.... and i just found out he cheated on me about a year back and he said that he actually did the do then.... well since he told me that he said i don't deserve to be with someone like him./..... how can i deal with all this..!! i am so stressed out... on top of having this surgery i didnt' want and all that .. and now my husband doesn't want to come back to me?? i dont' know how to raise a family on my own ... im stuck in a rock and a hard place.... i don't know where to go from here.... i really want him back but he won't come back to me.... he left today .. and he won't come back he yells at me and tells me i gave you two years to change and i didn't .. i can't help it .. i was depressed just from living in missouri for 1 year... he didn't show me love there .. shoot i had to go to the laundry mat by myself all the time.. with two big black garbage bags full of clothes that were heavy and i was pregnant it was hard to do that.. i ended up getting a umbilical hernia (its small but its still there) all because he didn't think it was his job to do that stuff.. i don't know it goes on and on ......... i love him i really do but i don't know what to do ...... oh well i guess..!!! i don't know how to get him back he said hes to far gone....
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Old 01-28-2004, 05:13 PM
 
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OMG. Honey, I am so sorry for what you are having to go through right now. Men suck sometimes. You and your little ones are in my prayers. I hope that it all gets better soon sweetie.
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Old 01-28-2004, 08:15 PM
 
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you need to call a lawyer ASAP. even if he walks out on you, he has built responsibilities to you and your babies that he can't ever walk away from.

close your bank and credit accounts NOW. change the locks on the house and cars.

hit him hard, girlfriend. he deserves it.

k
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