|Originally posted by rainey
I've been filled with a sense of empowerment, I reached into myself and met my spirit at the core of my being: we worked as a team. Then I was forced back out of myself to meet my greatest feat. The creation of two soul mates born of one
. . .
I just want to be part of the conversation. Yet when I tell a room full of women in response to the birth stories going around, that mine were all natural, all different yet beautiful and invigorating, I get mostly silence. It's quickly back to the conventional stories. I wish to share my birth stories the same as any women yet in the end I feel excluded and somewhat ashamed being reminded that my pain couldn't have been the same or as long.
oh sista, I hear ya!
Rainey, you say "I just want to be part of the conversation," and I am learning how hard it is for that to happen when an unconventional birth is experienced.
There is so much more I'd like to say on this interesting subject, yet everytime I try to type a thought, I become muddled and can't express my emotions or experiences or feelings quite clearly....
I was reborn after my first baby was born, a true renaissance of myself when I became a mother. And heck, kids, this was at the hands of a gold-chain wearing OB, Pit drip, lousy epidural meds, etc. But my first birth was even better than I expected, and I was beyond empowered. I DID IT.
And after my second babe was born at home, well HOLY SMOKES...only my MDC mammas know what it means when I say, well, I was loud, but not because it hurt, or, I felt so safe and happy at home...because everyone else seems to assume that reckless homebirthing mothers are out there to prove their uber-wombs and delusions of grandeur.
Why is it so fashionable to diminish this feat of creation in our culture? Why is it a pleasing hobby for the bubble-burstrers? I think of my in-laws...my mother in law, and her 3 sisters...4 women, born to a woman, ALL of these women have wonderfully pleasant, short, effective births without any troubles--seriously, 3 hour labors, easy pushin', happy times in spite of classic obstetrics.
But there was a son born to this woman, and he married...so, when my in-laws get together, these 4 women with their happy, easy labors, are ridiculed by the one married-in woman, who belittles and degrades the whole birthing scene.
I mention this because ALL the folks are mainstream, yet this junk is still going on--it's not just a "problem" for the earthy-birthy meets scheduled Brazilian c-sec.
I just thought of another facet--what about near-death experiences? When people report they saw a light and all was peaceful, in spite of techinically still living--and in great pain--no one says, well, you looser, remember, dying hurts and you're silly.
Have American women been so abused, so bullied by obstetrics that the "only" way to be empowered at all is to belittle and diminish the accomplishments of others?
Or is it impossible to see what birth really is these days--DON'T FORGET what it's like in a hosptial, which is so easy when happy births are remembered...the bright lights in the hall, the clanking of doors, the vinyl floor, the blood pressure cuff, the smells, the in-and-out of nurses & doctors...on and on...so much unpleasantness, so much stealing the stage from the labor and birth, so much to enhance mom's discomfort, I don't know HOW natural laboring/birthing-at-a-hospital moms DO it.
Darshani, you write: So an epidural becomes what those women of old used to be to each other.
Of course it does. This is why I don't think ill of empowered women selecting pharmacuitcal support when birthing in a medical setting. (And mamas--EVERYONE should have a doula when birthing in a hosptial.)
I don't know...maybe, Rainey, it's like high school--"high school sucks for everyone" doesn't it? OR DOES it.........maybe there are a few folks who really did enjoy it when they were there...are they freaks? or are they the minute, empowered, 'stars have alligned' group that the happy birthers are?
Or maybe birthing will slowly but surely come into vogue, as women's sexuality has--how recently were marital relations concidered a wifely duty, whereas now most (many? some? all?) woman expect a happy time...lovemaking is no longer the 'chore' of yore.