Trying to decide on what type of birth to have. . - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 24 Old 07-10-2009, 06:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
ithappened's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,392
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was wondering if anyone has any good non-biased websites or books on home vs. hospital vs. c-section births?

I was 100% homebirth until I spoke to my extended family about it (who is about 90% doctors) who were really pushing for a hospital birth and told a lot of fear stories to me.

I come from a mother who had one totally natural birth, the next was a hospital birth with drugs and decided if she was to have a third, it would be c-section.

I am totally new to being pregnant/mom/birth and am really looking for some factual helpful information on birthing styles instead of just fear/personal stories.

I am looking to do and find the right birthing style for me/the fetus vs just what is socially right or accepted.

Any thoughts or helpful links?

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

ithappened is offline  
#2 of 24 Old 07-10-2009, 10:46 AM
 
abigail_b's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: The Berkshires, MA
Posts: 772
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the book called The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth might be a good choice for you. Also the Dr Sears Pregnancy Book.
If you have a low risk pregnancy and a skilled midwife attending, then a homebirth is perfectly safe. That said, I also believe that you can have a wonderful, natural birth in a hospital (or birth center). It really just depends on the hospital and your caregiver. As far as the horror stories you are getting from your family about homebirth, here on MDC you are most likely going to get the flip side- horror stories about hospital births. In both cases these horror stories tend to be such a small percentage of what actually happens, so I think it is wise of you to take FEAR out of the equation. I would get educated about both options-- and like I said, the hospital birth will REALLY depend on the policies of the individual hospital, so you should find out about your local hospitals before you make a decision. I happen to have a small local hospital whose maternity ward is operated like a birth center, so that is where I am choosing to have my baby. If my only option was a hospital that had high C-section rates and really pushed unnecessary interventions, then I would probably more seriously consider a homebirth.
As far as a C-Section goes...that is major abdominal surgery and has much higher risks and painful/long recovery vs. vaginal birth. It is not a birth option but rather something that should happen only in the very RARE cases where a mother or baby's life is in danger by proceeding with vaginal birth.

Abby, Mom to Matthew (9/14/06) and new baby Annabelle (10/04/09), Wife to Dan
abigail_b is offline  
#3 of 24 Old 07-10-2009, 11:03 AM
 
Raene's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,993
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ithappened View Post
I was 100% homebirth until I spoke to my extended family about it (who is about 90% doctors) who were really pushing for a hospital birth and told a lot of fear stories to me.
I personally don't talk to my family about it. My family is all doctors, nurses, etc, and aside from my mom who is a nurse and is 100% supportive of homebirths, no one else understands.

They only know what they have been taught...not necessarily the real facts. The hospitals, drug companies, etc, want you to go their route so they can make money. Makes sense on their end of things.

There was a very recent study out about how homebirths are just as safe, if not safer than hospital births. Maybe you could find it by googling?

As long as you don't have complications going on during your pregnancy, I fully believe homebirth is safer. You are able to avoid all of the interventions that hospital births often push...and these are what make hospital births dangerous.

I hope you can find some helpful info. Being a parent is all about finding your own path and doing what you believe in. I can't tell you how many times I have to kindly remind relatives that these are my children and I am the parent. I do what's best for my children based on what I know and I don't listen to the opinions of others anymore.

Partnered mama with DD (01/04) and DD (08/09) and 8 critters, including a !
Raene is offline  
#4 of 24 Old 07-10-2009, 12:25 PM
 
cristeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,791
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here's a good place to start: http://www.gentlebirth.org/

That being said, I'd absolutely tell your family that until they do the research it's not open for debate, and that their anecdotal stories are not appreciated.

I see you're in Europe. Really, it's going to depend on the local birth climate. I know there are some countries in Europe that are so much better/more natural birth friendly than the US, and there are some that are SOOOO much worse.

As for the horror stories about hospitals, you will find plenty of those to counter what your family is saying - but the fact is that you will find so many more birth stories that the mother seems to be just fine with, but to an outside (informed) observer sound horrifically abusive. We are conditioned from a young age to trust the doctor and do what they say, so when they belittle or demean us, or abuse their power, many women are not in any position to even recognize it, and thank them for doing it.

Personally I think the most important choice to make as you go through this journey is in choosing a care provider you can trust, and to me that means one that is going to work *with* you, and not dictate or push anything. Depending on the local birth climate, that may be hard or easy to find, it may be an OB at the local hospital, or a MW at home.

HTH

Cristeen ~ Always remembering our stillheart.gif  warrior ~ Our rainbow1284.gif  is 3, how'd that happen?!?! 

We welcomed another rainbow1284.gifstillheart.gif  warrior in May 2012!! 

2012 Decluttering challenge - 575/2012

cristeen is offline  
#5 of 24 Old 07-10-2009, 02:43 PM
 
AlexisT's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Central PA
Posts: 2,269
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Which country are you in? There may be someone here who has given birth there and could give you some pointers.

DD 01/2007, DS 09/2011

AlexisT is offline  
#6 of 24 Old 07-10-2009, 03:20 PM
 
Asiago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,776
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
You had mentioned that you have many doctors and nurses in your family, this made me recall a chapter in Ina May Gaskin's book (I reccomend by the way). There was a couple, both Ob's, and they were having their first baby.
Due to what they knew about hospital birth they chose INSTEAD to birth with a midwife at Ina May's place (they call it "The Farm"). So it was just really interesting how there was a married couple, both OB's, surrounded daily by hospital birth, and yet they chose to have a midwife and a non-hospital birth for their own experience.
Asiago is offline  
#7 of 24 Old 07-10-2009, 04:04 PM
 
bannanachild's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 118
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raene View Post
I personally don't talk to my family about it.
Hah! Me neither! I read a birth story once about an UHB where they avoided all conversations about where they were planning on delivering the baby and after the baby came they called up their family and said "oops, I guess we didn't make it the hospital." I thought that was a great idea. So I don't talk to anyone about my plans for HB with a MW.

Fear is not a good thing in labor. It will hurt you, it will hurt the labor, and it will hurt your baby. So where do you feel most safe? For me, Hospitals do not feel safe. I do not trust doctors and I am TERRIFIED of needles. I want to spend my labor focusing on me and the baby, not arguing with doctors and nursing and avoiding IVs and Epi's. So for me, a hospital birth is just not "safe".

Good luck!

Happy mama to two homebirth.jpgwaterbirth.jpg DD's
bannanachild is offline  
#8 of 24 Old 07-11-2009, 01:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
ithappened's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,392
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Im in Austria.

One main problem I have is its a german speaking country and I am still not fluent yet.

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

ithappened is offline  
#9 of 24 Old 07-11-2009, 03:29 AM
 
notjustmamie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 1,962
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wanted to point out that unless the doctors in your family have attended homebirths themselves, their only experience with it is those that have had complications.

There was a very interesting article recently about the perception of homebirth through the eyes of homebirth attendants vs. hospital attendants. You can read it here: http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/c...TRY=1&SRETRY=0

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
notjustmamie is offline  
#10 of 24 Old 07-12-2009, 12:35 PM
 
JennTheMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 945
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would read Birthing from Withing, Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth, Better Birth, and any other book you can find in a book store about natural birth. Also The Business of Being Born is a good film about birth history and the safetyness of home vs hospital. As far as your family goes, their births are their births and you are entitled to the birth you want. They shouldn't dictate what kind of birth you have, and I find it rude to tell a pregnant woman horror stories. They should be supportive instead. If they can't, then oh well, your body, your baby, your birth.
JennTheMomma is offline  
#11 of 24 Old 07-12-2009, 12:49 PM
 
Lisa1970's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,604
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I have known many many home birth people and hospital birth. I have heard of a bad thing happen one time in a home birth and it was not something that would have been stopped at the hospital. Some babies will die, regardless of location. I have known of a couple people who transported, you can generally catch it early enough. I have known many people to have wonderful home births, that is what usually happens. Hospital births, I cannot even begin to tell you the horror stories.

A short recap though...I have known babies to end up with permanent disability from inventions and I have known babies to die too. I have known of a couple mothers to end up dead (a lady from the homeschool group who already had 8 children she left behind and another lady from my town). My own son ended up dead and another one of my son's ended up with brain damage from "mistakes" made at the hospital. These were not just mistakes. These were in your face, I don't care about you or your baby stuff. These were things that never would have happened if I had stayed home. I have met too many mothers whose babies ended up with problems from bad births or even dead. Then let's not forget how traumatizing birth can be when you get a mean nurse which is common or doctor. Try googling the term "birth rape."
Lisa1970 is offline  
#12 of 24 Old 07-12-2009, 12:49 PM
 
Lisa1970's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,604
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by bannanachild View Post
Hah! Me neither! I read a birth story once about an UHB where they avoided all conversations about where they were planning on delivering the baby and after the baby came they called up their family and said "oops, I guess we didn't make it the hospital." I thought that was a great idea. So I don't talk to anyone about my plans for HB with a MW.

Fear is not a good thing in labor. It will hurt you, it will hurt the labor, and it will hurt your baby. So where do you feel most safe? For me, Hospitals do not feel safe. I do not trust doctors and I am TERRIFIED of needles. I want to spend my labor focusing on me and the baby, not arguing with doctors and nursing and avoiding IVs and Epi's. So for me, a hospital birth is just not "safe".

Good luck!
That is pretty much my plan.
Lisa1970 is offline  
#13 of 24 Old 07-12-2009, 01:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
ithappened's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,392
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think thats a great idea as well. Did she have an UHB with her first?

I have been considering it.

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

ithappened is offline  
#14 of 24 Old 07-12-2009, 02:17 PM
 
xelakann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Portland
Posts: 901
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here is a link to my blog where I go over the basics of homebirth safety. I also have the links to the studies that were done that show that Home births are as safe as hospital births. One study was done in the US and one was done in Europe.

Also watching the Business of Being Born might be a good place to start for information on why many of the mom's on the website prefer to go natural.

Good luck with things!!

Kimberly
(Mama to West (11/07) Mabel Kelly 10/02/09)
xelakann is offline  
#15 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 11:44 AM
 
tanyalynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: TX, but anticipating one more move
Posts: 11,508
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by notjustmamie View Post
I just wanted to point out that unless the doctors in your family have attended homebirths themselves, their only experience with it is those that have had complications.

There was a very interesting article recently about the perception of homebirth through the eyes of homebirth attendants vs. hospital attendants. You can read it here: http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/c...TRY=1&SRETRY=0
Could you verify that this link works? I can't tell if it's just me, but I can't see it, and it looks really interesting.
tanyalynn is offline  
#16 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 12:12 PM
 
littlebb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ricki Lake and Abbey Epstein have a new book out that's wonderful. I know they are best known for pioneering the homebirth movement in modern times, but this book isn't just about homebirth. It's called "Your Best Birth" and actually helps to educate women on ALL types of births. I think it's a fantastic book because so many women 'go with the flow' from the first OB appointment all the way through the birth, not knowing what hurdles may be waiting for them (unnecessary medications, interventions, pressure for c-section, etc.). I think they did an amazing job on the book because it's not biased to push you toward a homebirth, though it does offer pros and cons of HB, hospital birth, etc. It's a book I recommend to ALL women regardless of the type of birth they choose to have. That way they are armed with knowledge and confidence in having the birth they want.

Andi, 32 - SAHM to Aaron Patriot born at home on 8/7/09 and devoted wife to Paul. : EC, Non-Circ ::
littlebb is offline  
#17 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 04:13 PM
 
notjustmamie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 1,962
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TanyaLopez View Post
Could you verify that this link works? I can't tell if it's just me, but I can't see it, and it looks really interesting.
Huh. Sorry about that! Apparently my other computer has the cookie that makes it work.

How about this one?

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/c...50850/PDFSTART

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
notjustmamie is offline  
#18 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 05:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
ithappened's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,392
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks! I ordered the "your best birth" book.

DS1 Dec 2009 fuzmalesling.gif DZ Twins July 2012 babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif

ithappened is offline  
#19 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 06:05 PM
 
Snuzzmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 607
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by abigail_b View Post
I think the book called The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth might be a good choice for you. Also the Dr Sears Pregnancy Book.
If you have a low risk pregnancy and a skilled midwife attending, then a homebirth is perfectly safe. That said, I also believe that you can have a wonderful, natural birth in a hospital (or birth center). It really just depends on the hospital and your caregiver. As far as the horror stories you are getting from your family about homebirth, here on MDC you are most likely going to get the flip side- horror stories about hospital births. In both cases these horror stories tend to be such a small percentage of what actually happens, so I think it is wise of you to take FEAR out of the equation. I would get educated about both options-- and like I said, the hospital birth will REALLY depend on the policies of the individual hospital, so you should find out about your local hospitals before you make a decision. I happen to have a small local hospital whose maternity ward is operated like a birth center, so that is where I am choosing to have my baby. If my only option was a hospital that had high C-section rates and really pushed unnecessary interventions, then I would probably more seriously consider a homebirth.
As far as a C-Section goes...that is major abdominal surgery and has much higher risks and painful/long recovery vs. vaginal birth. It is not a birth option but rather something that should happen only in the very RARE cases where a mother or baby's life is in danger by proceeding with vaginal birth.
I agree with all of this, especially the bold. But just for a different perspective, I had a c-section and was walking the same day and healed very quickly with little pain. I have friends who had vag births whose recoveries were much longer/ more painful then mine.

Just saying that you never really know. Avoid the major surgery if you can, but don't freak out if it comes to that. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll be laid up longer. As the PP said, try not to let the fear enter the equation. I know that's easier said than done.
Snuzzmom is offline  
#20 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 07:54 PM
spu
 
spu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 627
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ithappened View Post
I was wondering if anyone has any good non-biased websites or books on home vs. hospital vs. c-section births?
oh my - I just don't know why anyone would choose to have a c unless medically necessary. I've had two unplanned c's, and I'd rather have all my teeth pulled. My third birth was a natural unmedicated vba2c and wow - what a difference. I had a 2nd degree tear, but partly because I was such a stronf pusher and I was afraid of having another c, so I didn't slow down to let things stretch during crowning.

I've heard of too many complications that are too real when having elective c's. The c/s issues can linger or reoccur long after a vag birth has healed even with tears... My bladder actually fused to my abdominal wall after my first c, unbeknownst to anyone, and when we ended in a second c, I almost got completely sliced through the bladder - fortunately, we had the chief ob doing the surgery, so after the c, he had to separate my bladder and abdominal wall, and sew up all the holes in my bladder. And that's nothing compared to risks of infection, or other scary c stuff.

twins 7.02 ⢠DS 10.06 ⢠OMG #4 1.08 ⢠ebf + tandem nursing!
spu is offline  
#21 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 08:06 PM
Banned
 
accountclosed3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,906
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
the best advice about parenting that i ever got was--No matter what you do, do it with confidence.

the truth is, not everyone will agree with you and they will use whatever means they can to try and get you to do things their way. they will use rational arguments, emotional manipulations, guilt trips, shaming--you name it. they will use whatever they can to get what they want.

but when you have made your decision and you stand in it confidently, then nothing can shake you from that process (except, of course, the realization that it isn't right for you or your child). you won't need to defend it, you won't feel ashamed when people try to shame you, and all you'll feel is moderate annoyance at their "need" to have you do things their way.

and eventually, they will give up trying to talk you 'out' of whatever they don't like. honestly, they'll see your confidence and they'll see the results in your family.
accountclosed3 is offline  
#22 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 08:51 PM
spu
 
spu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 627
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
the best advice about parenting that i ever got was--No matter what you do, do it with confidence.

the truth is, not everyone will agree with you and they will use whatever means they can to try and get you to do things their way. they will use rational arguments, emotional manipulations, guilt trips, shaming--you name it. they will use whatever they can to get what they want.

but when you have made your decision and you stand in it confidently, then nothing can shake you from that process (except, of course, the realization that it isn't right for you or your child). you won't need to defend it, you won't feel ashamed when people try to shame you, and all you'll feel is moderate annoyance at their "need" to have you do things their way.

and eventually, they will give up trying to talk you 'out' of whatever they don't like. honestly, they'll see your confidence and they'll see the results in your family.
wow - what an amazing piece of advice - and it applies to pretty much everything! I'm always feeling like I have to justify, rationalize, explain... not just with parenting stuff, but with work, friends, the kids' activities... and you're so right about having the confidence when you make a decision. I imagine it takes a lot of encouragement and practice. I'm going to remember this and see how I can apply it to my day tomorrow.

twins 7.02 ⢠DS 10.06 ⢠OMG #4 1.08 ⢠ebf + tandem nursing!
spu is offline  
#23 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 09:38 PM
 
katelove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,871
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)
I don't know of any unbiased information but Sarah J Buckley's book Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering addresses many issues associated with pregnancy and birth from an evidence-based perspective and provides the full citation for all her sources. She also has a number of articles available on her website www.sarahjbuckley.com and she is a medical doctor which may help reassure your family.

Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012  mdcblog5.gif

katelove is online now  
#24 of 24 Old 07-13-2009, 10:57 PM
 
tanyalynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: TX, but anticipating one more move
Posts: 11,508
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by notjustmamie View Post
Huh. Sorry about that! Apparently my other computer has the cookie that makes it work.

How about this one?

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/c...50850/PDFSTART
It opened! Thanks, off to read now.
tanyalynn is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off