Funny/jaw-dropping comments about homebirth (etc.) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 149 Old 08-12-2009, 04:47 PM
 
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I was talking about birth with my cousin (who has had four hospital births, all induced with pitocin, and all with epidurals) and she said how great the OB she used for her last birth was. (Yeah, where she was induced for being overdue and ended up with a preemie in the NICU because her due date was wrong... and I mentioned that I'm hoping for a homebirth with a midwife.

Cousin (horrified): "I wouldn't trust a midwife to do an epidural."

Me: "Well, they don't do epidurals with homebirths."

Cousin: "Yeah, you'll change your mind with your first contraction."

Um, hello, you don't even know what a normal contraction is because you've never had one that wasn't brought on by pit.

My mother, who was present for this discussion, was extremely concerned that I was planning to have a baby without any prenatal or postnatal care whatsoever, assuming for some reason that you only ever saw the midwife during the actual birth! Like I'd meet her for the first time while in labor and she'd be out the door as soon as the baby was born, never to be seen or heard from again!

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#62 of 149 Old 08-12-2009, 07:38 PM
 
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I know. People find it odd that I willingly paid thousands of dollars out of pocket for a homebirth when I could have had a hospital delivery for a $75 co-pay!
And I would gladly do it again!
Yeah, I WISH! Of what I can determine with our health ins., if we do the whole OB, hospital birth and stay, my OOP costs would be the SAME or MORE as a lay midwife especially if the baby is born after the first of the year; because then they hit me with the yearly deductible, MY personal deductible, and then 20% for everything, not including that up until Aug 1st, they were charging a specialist co-pay for all the monthly and bi-monthly visits, and then weekly and bi-weekly once I go weeks overdue. The only good part is that we can pay a little at a time, on top of our monthly premiums, and then as we can after the baby is born. The visits are now a regular fee, but our hope is to only have the back up care for that JIC PPH issue I have a history of, even when the 3rd stage has been left alone and managed by myself.

I can't even count the THOUSANDS of dollars that I have saved because of UCing, but that is not our primary reason. We had a UP/planned UC, that ended up as a transfer, and luckily, I had gotten a 2nd insurance for that JIC thing. The last transfer, they never actually admitted me when I had a severe PPH, so it cost me $125 OOP.

I personally like to have that money to actually spend on my kids. The amount can pay for a small vacation for our family of going on 10. Why pay for someone else's vacation? Kymberli
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#63 of 149 Old 08-12-2009, 07:56 PM
 
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I'm planning a homebirth this time. My mom says I should go to the hospital, because the environment is sterile there and "doctors have gloves and stuff".

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#64 of 149 Old 08-12-2009, 11:17 PM
 
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Some of these stories are sad. Others are scary. Yet, others are hilarious! LOL.

I haven't told anyone that we're planning a homebirth yet. I think DH mentioned it to his parents and they started hemming and hawwing. I told him to stop talking to them about it. I don't need the negativity.

People are still in awe that I had a birth center birth. One person at work said that people who give birth outside of hospitals are risking their baby's lives. This person also said that she wants all the medical intervention that she can get because it's safer that way (meaning she wants pitocin, her water broken and internal fetal monitors again, etc because apparantly that's safer than going into labor on her own, spontaneous rupture of membranes, etc). Yes, we are both doctors. Sigh.

The only negative comments I got last time were (1) "You can't have an epidural? OMG!!!!!" and (2) You went home 3 hours after giving birth? That aint safe!" As explained by my 50 year-old male cousin.

We'll see what comments we get this next time. LOL. I don't plan to say anything until after the fact.

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#65 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 09:46 AM
 
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I got mostly positive comments about Fiona's homebirth. The one comment was really funny was part of a totally surreal conversation at City Hall when I was there to pick up Fiona's birth certificate.

Clerk: So, did you mean to have her at home?

Me: Yep. It was great.

Clerk: Wow. How do you know how much she weighed?

Me: Um.. the midwife had a scale. Actually, it was pretty nice because the baby got to snuggle up in a hammock rather than lie on a plastic scale.

Clerk: Oh, you had a midwife there. You know, we had a woman come in once who did that, but didn't have anyone there.

Me: Yeah, some women prefer it that way, but I felt safer with a midwife [and no, it didn't even occur to me to tell her that our midwife didn't actually make it in time].

Clerk: Well, I thought it was crazy. I mean, how are we supposed to know that the baby was hers and not one she stole?

Me: I don't think that actually happens that often.

Clerk: Are you kidding? You'd be surprised.

Me: Well, the state requires we present a letter from our pediatrician to file the birth certificate, so hopefully that would help a little.

Clerk: Yeah. I was wondering, though.. what do they do with the placenta?

Me: Um.. well, some people bury it in the yard. Or you can just throw it away. Some people even eat it.

Clerk: No, no.. what I mean is, shouldn't they, like.. bring it in, so we know that they gave birth?

Me: Um..

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#66 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 10:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ColwynsMommy View Post
Clerk: No, no.. what I mean is, shouldn't they, like.. bring it in, so we know that they gave birth?

Me: Um..
Yes, please bring the placenta as well as you pp pads so we can be REALLY sure you just gave birth.

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#67 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 10:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Evie's Mama View Post
Yes, please bring the placenta as well as you pp pads so we can be REALLY sure you just gave birth.
But... but... what if they stole the placenta the same time they stole the baby?


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#68 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 10:51 AM
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Originally Posted by ColwynsMommy View Post
I got mostly positive comments about Fiona's homebirth. The one comment was really funny was part of a totally surreal conversation at City Hall when I was there to pick up Fiona's birth certificate.

Me: Um.. well, some people bury it in the yard. Or you can just throw it away. Some people even eat it.

Clerk: No, no.. what I mean is, shouldn't they, like.. bring it in, so we know that they gave birth?

Me: Um..
Our local office required us to bring the baby to get the BC. She was 2 weeks old and I guess her presence was "proof" that she was ours. Like we couldn't have kidnapped her or borrowed a baby for an hour. And the paperwork was filed by midwives, not by us. Stupid! When they first said to bring the baby we thought they just wanted to see a baby. When we got there we realized she was there to be evidence.
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#69 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 11:15 AM
 
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After explaining a bit more, including the part about the highly qualified midwife who would be assisting us, she asked if we'd be going to the hospital for the epidural and then coming home again to have the baby. After explaining that part, she got a little worried, and whispered, "You know, women died a lot before epidurals were invented."
Geez it is amazing and scary how little woman know about how things work.

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Originally Posted by Turquesa View Post
Said by woman who turned out to be wife of ER doc: "Ooooooooo! You're using those midwives? I hate to scare you, but they're not that good. My friend had a baby with them and ended up going to the hospital."

:
I had the nearly the same thing happen. When I was around 8 months pg with ds I ran into a woman I was friends with in school and she asked me which hospital I was having the baby at and I told her I was having a BC birth with MW's and she said oh I know someone who used those MW and her and the baby nearly died . : who says crap like that to a pg lady anyway??? I responded with well I know (insert name here) who had a hospital birth and her and the baby almost died. That pretty much ended the conversation right there.

 
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#70 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 12:18 PM
 
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Cousin: "Yeah, you'll change your mind with your first contraction."
Oh, DS was a planned natural birth in a hospital. DH & I sometimes mentioned our plans for natural birth & we heard that too. DH even heard that from MALE co-workers. Seriously? My MIL pulled it too, "Well those ctrx really hurt. They'll really get your attention." with that tone of voice like, "You are clueless & NUTS to not want drugs."
Really? Cuz my Bradley teacher told me it would feel like a foot massage. Hum?? Once again, I must

You learn to deal with it. Ignore, then towards the end I avoided. Told DH not to tell me if he'd had a convo like that & he was under strict orders to keep his mother away from me altogether.
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#71 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 12:24 PM
 
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"You had the baby at home? Was it normal or c-section?"

I am not joking. My college roommate is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

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#72 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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One of the men in our church who is the father of 3 after finding out we are going natural (he still doesnt know its a home birth, hee hee) - - -
"Dont try to go natural, just start out with the epi and it will be much better for everybody".
Much better for who? I was so mad, my husband had to pull me away before I said something, lol.
Oh that there is the great aunt of mine that worked as a nurse in OB at a hospital for 30 some years. She is all for homebirth AS LONG AS ITS NOT YOUR FIRST. Yeah, she found out we are doing homebirth and she was like but you have to have your first at the hospital. You have to find out how your birth will go before you try it at home. ... Um, yeah. Sure thing.
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#73 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 01:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
But... but... what if they stole the placenta the same time they stole the baby?

I'm sure that women who steal babies are VERY concerned about getting their birth certs on file...

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#74 of 149 Old 08-13-2009, 08:28 PM
 
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I havent gotten any really funny comments, although I have been told many times that I'm brave so going without an epidural or for having a homebirth. lol. I also find it funny when I happen to be out with just my eldest (my other 3 are at their dads about half of the time) and people assume this is my 2nd. They try to give helpful advice...and then when I say oh no, this is my 6th, they act like they have a heart attack.

I did get quite funny reactions when I took my 3rd out at 8 hours old, to the mall. People were like "OMG the hospital let you go home already?!?" And I'm like "uh, she was born at home." BAM! I have a third head.

Oh, and I had a cesarean with my last one. When my friend heard, her response was "its so much easier, isnt it!," like I'd finally understand. She was rather taken aback when I said heck no!! I never want another one of those again! Sorry but I'd take labor and pushing over several weeks of recovery from major surgery any day!

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#75 of 149 Old 08-14-2009, 01:17 AM
 
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I haven't gotten any comments personally because I haven't been preg yet, but heard about a friend's homebirth conversation with a stranger.

The initial reaction was "Oh...I don't take chances rolling the dice with my baby's life." : After my friend kept talking to her, assuring her it was safe in a normal, healthy pregnancy, the woman ended the conversation by saying "So if your husband needs open heart surgery, are you going to do that for him at home too?"
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#76 of 149 Old 08-14-2009, 12:20 PM
 
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I was telling my step-mother that we were planning a homebirth with a midwife with this pregnancy, and her first question was "what does your OB think about that?" I told her that I don't have an OB, that's what the midwife is for and her reaction was . My second child was born at a freestanding birth center, so apparently she didn't entirely understand what that meant at the time!

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#77 of 149 Old 08-14-2009, 12:39 PM
 
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I haven't finished reading this entire thread yet but I have to add before the comments go completely out of my head!

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and these are the few comments that I got that blew me away.

"Do women still do that at home still? I only ask because you're the only one I know" Note: she gave birth in a hospital via c-section after 19 hours of birth but her doctor is very anti c-sections and was telling her during her pregnancy that she body probably wouldn't be able to do a VB.

"You have more willpower then a lot of women." Willpower? hehe.

And then something to the effect of "How are you going to manage all that pain" ...

Oh well, I'm sure I will get more. My grandmother and mother are nervous about it... And I'm only 11 weeks, what happens when I start showing! Should be interesting! I'm sure I'll be back!

xo

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#78 of 149 Old 08-14-2009, 12:50 PM
 
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I was lucky on my mom's side that my aunt paved the way for me by homebirthing her two children about 10 years ago. One reason she gave, I remember, was that she didn't want to be shaved "down there"... which seems like kind of a silly reason considering all the better reasons - but then I was 11, so I imagine she was trying to make it understandable to a kid. Dh's side tends to just talk about you behind your back, but his dad mentioned being nervous about it last time. I can't imagine they'll have much to say this time, though...

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#79 of 149 Old 08-14-2009, 11:48 PM
 
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the woman ended the conversation by saying "So if your husband needs open heart surgery, are you going to do that for him at home too?"
Why not? His home gall bladder removal went well enough...
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#80 of 149 Old 08-15-2009, 12:03 AM
 
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Well... if you go by the thieves of body parts, all you need is some strong knock-out kind of drug, a sharp knife and a tub full of ice... who needs to go into debt over that?

Sorry, I'm in the middle of watching a frontline video about healthcare around the world... and how americans frequently go broke from health emergencies, while people in many other countries hardly pay anything...

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#81 of 149 Old 08-15-2009, 03:48 AM
 
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When I told my mother I was having a homebirth with ds she got really freaked out. She blurts out "If they don't cut the cord fast enough your baby will die!" She really truly thought that if the cord is not cut within seconds of the birth that it would hurt the baby.
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#82 of 149 Old 08-16-2009, 10:30 PM
 
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"]you wouldn't want someone who was well trained doing home-births"
That's funny cause I took it as...

Someone that skilled has got to deliver in the hospital, so we can all get in on the money action.

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#83 of 149 Old 08-17-2009, 04:25 AM
 
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Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#84 of 149 Old 08-17-2009, 10:29 AM
 
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These comments are great/sad. I haven't had a done it yet because I lived with my parents with my first baby, but when I get pregnant again, I'm going to aim for a homebirth. I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of eye rolling and silly comments, especially from all of my friends who had c-sections.
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#85 of 149 Old 08-18-2009, 12:44 AM
 
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This isn't totally related to HB, but I just thought of it, and it was quite funny. My father was born in the 30s. He has since passed away, about 10 yrs now, but this really tickled me.

We had been discussing whether or not my Dh would make it to the birth, since he did overnights twice a week at the time. (well, he does this again now, so who knows how that will turn out).

And, my 67yo Dad says (they always waited in the waiting room pacing right?), "no man should EVER see his wife in that position." Referring to giving birth, right? I am like, "Uhhh, well he is the one that put her in that position, and besides, isn't that the position he had her in when she got pregnant?" He wasn't one to shy away from a good s*x talk, but even this made him speechless. I TOTALLY think that men should see their wives give birth, if they want them to continue doing it. If that means holding their hand or being the gopher boy for what she wants and needs.

To me now, this includes catching their baby if he is willing, because it doesn't make sense that any man would want another man down by his wife's bare bottom. I don't get that part, with all the modesty and such, and all that goes out the window when a man has MD behind his name. LOL

My Dh didn't actually get to make it to that birth, and only got to see it on video, back when they used to be less wary of being sued. And, the next birth, he was none to happy about going. But, when it went so quickly, he seemed thrilled. LOL

Anyway....back to your regular scheduled programming. Enjoying this discussion. Kymberli
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#86 of 149 Old 08-18-2009, 03:00 AM
 
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Why do so many people think you can get an epidural at home? I've gotten that too and had to suppress my laughter.
The Homefirst Practice in Chicago uses epidurals at home, very sparingly, though.
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#87 of 149 Old 08-20-2009, 02:47 AM
 
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The one I've heard a few times is "I'd hate to have a homebirth, think of cleaning up all that mess!" Last time, at SIL's baby shower, I giggled and said "You know, the midwives actually do the cleanup... they don't make a woman give birth and then get down on her hands and knees and scrub the floor!" Lightbulb moment.

I'm also slightly amused by MIL's differing reactions to SIL's birth centre birth and my (planned) homebirth (I ended up being induced for pre-e). I think she thinks birthing centres are somehow halfway to hospitals, with lots of equipment and such; whereas in fact our birthing centres are essentially just fancy hotels. Yet my homebirth would have been risky, while SIL's birth centre birth will be OK. I haven't let on, because I don't want her pressuring SIL into delivering at the hospital! (Because DH "would have died" without a hospital, because she stalled for a while at 7cm... ?? I did once try to explain that midwives don't actually sit and gape while you die of exhaustion, but... oh well.)

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#88 of 149 Old 08-20-2009, 11:42 AM
 
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I'm just preparing to hear every one of these comments from DH's grandma when we tell her our next one will be a homebirth. I already told DH that when we tell her he has to be there as well as my MIL because otherwise she will lambaste me as she has done about every parenting decision I have made as of yet. At least she doesn't know we don't vaccinate!

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#89 of 149 Old 08-21-2009, 02:26 AM
 
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MIL: I wanted a homebirth, but I changed my mind and went to the hospital. Good thing too, because the cord was wrapped around his neck and he would have died.

DD did in fact, have the cord around her neck. I am pretty sure she's not dead

At a party, someone asked us where dd was born and when we told them at home they just stared at us uncomfortably for a minute. Eventually DH just started talking about how great it was while they looked at their feet.

People tell me how brave I am. I tell them I had her at home to avoid the hospital

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#90 of 149 Old 08-21-2009, 03:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DocsNemesis View Post
Oh, and I had a cesarean with my last one. When my friend heard, her response was "its so much easier, isnt it!," like I'd finally understand. She was rather taken aback when I said heck no!! I never want another one of those again! Sorry but I'd take labor and pushing over several weeks of recovery from major surgery any day!
I haven't had a HB (yet) but #2 was a hospital NCB and #3 was an emergency c-section (placental abruption). I can't believe how many comments I got from women who thought the c-section was sooo much better than their vaginal births (or attempted vaginal births). I think most of them had been induced or at least augmented though.

With #3 I wanted a homebirth but just never felt good about it, so we'd planned to go to the hospital. But I fantasized the entire time about an accidental UC (until my water broke at home in the middle of the night and I was hemorrhaging). I shared this dream with my DH --who was really pushing for a midwife assisted HB AND who is a physician--and he was a little alarmed. His concern had to do with dealing with the cord and the afterbirth. I was like, "Uh. . . we have kitchen shears and mixing bowls. We'd manage!"

Wife to a great DH, SAHM to 3 great kids
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