Funny/jaw-dropping comments about homebirth (etc.) - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-25-2009, 02:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know the ignorance of the general community in regards to homebirth, UCing, natural birth, etc., can be ridiculously irritating but it can be funny as well! So I figured we needed a thread where we can poke fun at it. So...post ladies!

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Old 07-25-2009, 03:19 AM
 
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You must have read my mind...I was just thinking of starting a thread like this! The comments I've had over the last week have had me

A neighbor knew we were looking for childcare for DD during the birth and offered to help if we had no luck finding someone. I mentioned that we needed someone who would be comfortable being here as it happened since we're planning a homebirth. Somehow she misunderstood, and thought I was asking her to catch! She responded that she didn't know a lot about "delivering babies" but that she would read up on it on WebMD to help us out.

After explaining a bit more, including the part about the highly qualified midwife who would be assisting us, she asked if we'd be going to the hospital for the epidural and then coming home again to have the baby. After explaining that part, she got a little worried, and whispered, "You know, women died a lot before epidurals were invented."

Then there is the massage therapist at my chiropractor's office, who asked if we'd, "..you know, like, be on the phone with, like, 911 or something". Then she asked how we would get the baby washed and whatnot. "You know, we'll, like, do it ourselves..." I said.

I'm finding it kind of fun to tell people about it if they ask things like who's my OB or what hospital am I using. I haven't had any outright negative reactions, and the stuff they come up with is really quite entertaining!
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Old 07-25-2009, 03:30 AM
 
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No one seems to be able to comprehend that I didn't have an epidural available at a residence.

Various people have also asked me if I went to the hospital afterward...um, if I didn't want to go in the first place, why would I go afterward if the birth went well?
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Old 07-25-2009, 04:19 AM
 
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Epidurals save lives? Who knew?!

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Old 07-25-2009, 11:45 AM
 
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When my librarian asked which hospital we were using I told her we were having a homebirth. She just got this "deer in headlights" look and said "you're very brave to do that"

someone else asked if I had to get my dr.'s permission! How sad people think dr.s are like gods!

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Old 07-25-2009, 12:45 PM
 
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I love it when people try to imagine a standard hospital birth transferred to my home. One woman asked me what I would use for stirrups when I had a home birth, then answered herself, "Piles of pillows would work, I suppose."

Another one asked how I could ever get my home as clean as a hospital delivery room. "Will you have all the walls washed down with disinfectant first?"
And a friend said I would not want to use the room I gave birth in afterwards, because "It would look like you slaughtered a pig in there!"
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Old 07-25-2009, 01:55 PM
 
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"So can the midwife cut your episiotomy?"

"Who will do the baby's bath? You know, like the nurses do in the hospital?"

Amanda , mama to my two boys: N (10/06) and : A (7/09)
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Old 07-26-2009, 03:35 AM
 
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lol about the stirrups.. I sort of used my mw's shoulder as one! I *really* wanted my leg up like that, and at one point (between ctx) when she leaned over to grab something I was actually kind of panicked to not have her shoulder there to put my foot on. It seems really weird to think of that now.. there is NO shame while in labor

My best was talking with another mom from church and I was talking to her about homebirthing. She knew ds was born at home and asked if dd was also. I told her I tried really hard to but she ended up being a c-section. She asked if they could do that at home and I was like, nooo way! Answered her "what do you do at home if you need a c-section?" question.. ya go to the hospital! I think she realized very quickly that it was a silly question. I think she might have misunderstood me thinking that I said my dd was born at home by c-section, and was confused.

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Old 07-26-2009, 12:18 PM
 
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After my transport my mother said she was glad I went to the hospital because she was old fashioned and believed babies should be born in the hospital. (wtf? that's like saying "I'm glad your puppy died because I don't like dogs.")
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Old 07-27-2009, 03:31 PM
 
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Her: So what hospital was C. born at?

Me: Actually, C was born in the kitchen.

Her, jaw drop: You're kidding! On purpose?

Me: Oh yes--so was S!! We had 2 great water births.:
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Old 07-27-2009, 03:45 PM
 
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A co-worker of DH's was talking about the pain of birth & he somehow he mentioned pushing flat on your back.

She says, "Well, what other way is there? On your stomach?!"
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Old 07-27-2009, 04:39 PM
 
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This isn't even bad, but it annoys me anyway--lately the very.first.thing people say is "Oh, so you'll have a pool then."

Well, yeah, I plan to have one available, but that isn't the whole point of home birth, and it's not like I'm going to commit NOW to having the baby in the pool. But it's the only thing people can come up with to say when I mention our plans.

Melissa, wife to Brian, mommy to my home born, breastfeeding, sling-riding, sleep sharing, cloth diapered, intact kiddos Adam 11/09 and Leah 8/12.

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Old 07-27-2009, 04:48 PM
 
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Its funny I was just "blogging" about this because I am so fed up with negative comments. First off I would love to have a home birth but one where I live in south jersey it is almost impossible to find a MW willing and two I am a type one diabetic so the risk increases slightly.

However I am planning on laboring at home for as long as possible and having a completely natural childbirth. EVERYONE except my boyfriend thinks I am insane. They think you need to have a epi especially if it is your first, you have to go to the hospital as soon as your water breaks, BF is a bad idea and makes your breasts sag, its just insane the lack of research and or knowledge people have because of the media.

I was over a friends house yesterday and she is addicted to those baby shows on discovery channel. She looks at me and was like, "see you need to have pain meds, she has an epi and is still screaming at the top of her lungs". I just shook my head, and said yay for media scaring women, our bodies are made to have babies, we have been doing it for many many years. Sigh its never ending :

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Old 07-27-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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Said by woman who turned out to be wife of ER doc: "Ooooooooo! You're using those midwives? I hate to scare you, but they're not that good. My friend had a baby with them and ended up going to the hospital."

:

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Old 07-28-2009, 04:49 AM
 
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Not a negative comment, but it was a jaw-dropper nonetheless. I've been hesitant to tell dh's family about our plan for a home birth because they already think we're nuts for having our first at a birth center. Somehow it came up with my GMIL and I told her that we're planning a home birth this time around, and she got really excited because we'll have a nice big tub in the master bedroom where we're moving to soon. "Oh how NICE! You should do it at home, you'll have your own little private suite!" I was really shocked because she is the most pro-pharmaceuticals-and-doctors-for-everything person we know, but she went on to tell me all about the "program with Ricki Lake and all the midwives" she watched (Business of Being Born), and how she would be terrified of a hospital birth with how high the c-section rates are climbing. It was just really nice and surprising to get that kind of support from her. :
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Old 07-28-2009, 09:56 AM
 
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We live in NY now, but our daughter was born in MA. We moved during the pregnancy (from one MA town to another), and kept our midwife. But she didn't have contacts at the closest hospital, so we went there in search of support in case of transfer. In MA it is illegal for nurse midwives to do homebirths (?!?!?!). I asked the doc--who was quite anti-homebirth--why. His reply: "When you have someone highly trained like that you don't want them doing homebirths."

Hmmm. I somehow managed to hold my tongue since we needed this dude's help (and he did deign, reluctantly, to be my backup). My husband was amazed--I rarely think before speaking. We were floored, as it was like the doc wanted us to have a back-alley birth with no trained attendants. Ugh.

Happily, we didn't go to the hospital, except for tests when I was 10 days overdue. Of course they wanted to induce me, but I demurred. After the birth I sent announcement to both the docs with explainations of how great the homebirth was.
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Old 07-28-2009, 11:02 AM
 
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This is wonderful though -

Quote:
Originally Posted by jessica_lizette View Post
Not a negative comment, but it was a jaw-dropper nonetheless. I've been hesitant to tell dh's family about our plan for a home birth because they already think we're nuts for having our first at a birth center. Somehow it came up with my GMIL and I told her that we're planning a home birth this time around, and she got really excited because we'll have a nice big tub in the master bedroom where we're moving to soon. "Oh how NICE! You should do it at home, you'll have your own little private suite!" I was really shocked because she is the most pro-pharmaceuticals-and-doctors-for-everything person we know, but she went on to tell me all about the "program with Ricki Lake and all the midwives" she watched (Business of Being Born), and how she would be terrified of a hospital birth with how high the c-section rates are climbing. It was just really nice and surprising to get that kind of support from her. :

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Old 07-28-2009, 12:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turquesa View Post
Said by woman who turned out to be wife of ER doc: "Ooooooooo! You're using those midwives? I hate to scare you, but they're not that good. My friend had a baby with them and ended up going to the hospital."

:

That is priceless and terribly sad!

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Old 07-28-2009, 01:28 PM
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what?! "back alley" births without trained attendants?

who would think of such a thing? LOL
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Old 07-28-2009, 03:14 PM
 
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The question I find strangest is, "Can't you afford to go to a doctor?"

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Always remembering my babies who could not stay '08 '08 '09
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Old 07-28-2009, 04:52 PM
 
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Subbing. Will return later to share my stories.

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Old 07-28-2009, 05:16 PM
 
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Old 07-28-2009, 05:26 PM
 
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I didn't have a home birth because I couldn't find a midwife that would do one. So I was at a birth center. I got countless comments about how dangerous it was to go without the fetal heart monitor, the immediate suctioning of their throat and nose etc. I'd have to say the worst comment actually came from a book about pregnancy that I read. It called home and natural birthers "barbaric", "gothic", and "irresponsible." The ex playmate who wrote it also noted that she would be laying in bed after her medicated birth, looking pretty and rested, toasting her champagne with family, while the natural birther will be panting in exhaustion with broken veins in her head from pushing so hard. Absolutely disgusting.
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Old 07-28-2009, 06:13 PM
 
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In relation to UC, so how do you weigh the baby after birth and all that "other" stuff for newborn. Umm a scale and we don't do any of that other stuff.

And this weekend, so dh is the midwife then, ummm, no he just holds my hand. But he delivers the baby, no I catch my own baby.

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Old 07-29-2009, 02:39 AM
 
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Upon finding out that I was having a homebirth a male coworker said "I can't believe your husband is going to let you do that"
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Old 07-29-2009, 09:31 AM
 
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To clarify (for jtrt)--I think UC is fabulous!!! 'twas the way the doc said you wouldn't want someone who was well trained doing home-births that brought on the image of him thinking we were doing some dirty, horrible evil thing and should be ashamed. So ridicuous.
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Old 07-29-2009, 01:24 PM
 
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A lady I met at a restaurant asked which hospital I had Dd2 at. I told her she was born at home. She looked really concerned and asked "What happened?"

I said "I went into labor, the midwives came out, the baby was born, the midwives went home"

I was showing my late grandma pictures of the birth. Someone put a hat Dd's head soon after she came to the surface and Grandma saw a picture of her with a hat on. She said "She was born with a hat on?" Grandma was supportive of homebirth. Her twin brother and sister were born at home in the 1920's and she was there. She said they would have died if they'd been born in the hospital. They were premature and her mother carried them around the house with her in a laundry basket everywhere she went.

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Old 07-29-2009, 01:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momasana View Post
Upon finding out that I was having a homebirth a male coworker said "I can't believe your husband is going to let you do that"
Oh well, it makes a nice change from "I can't believe your doctor would let you do that."

Actually, I had one very nice reaction from an elderly man. He and his DW had lived in a small village in Scotland, and he told me that back then, most babies in the area were born at home attended by midwives. He said having a baby at home is "so much nicer." He described his daughter being born, and almost immediately holding her in his arms, with tears in his eyes even though it happened over forty years ago.
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Old 07-29-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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i got/get alot of the "ooooooh, you are so BRAVE!".

and once, when explaining that the mw's bring their own medical gear in event of emergency (oxygen and such), one person asked if they also brought the IV pole too (because *every* woman uses an IV, right? it's impossible to birth without one!), and the epidural... even more shock follows after being told that no, you can't have an epidural at home.

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Old 07-29-2009, 02:42 PM
 
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When I was discussing homebirth a friend of mine who is actually pro-natural childbirth said that she just wouldn't be comfortable doing a homebirth because of things like the cord getting wrapped around the baby's neck. Apparently that can't be taken care of by anyone but an OB.

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