So when can I have post partum sex REALLY? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 53 Old 10-27-2009, 01:31 PM
 
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And I think - though somebody please correct me if I'm wrong - that there's some chance that the first few weeks after a birth are a particularly high-fertility time because pregnancy hormones drop and breastfeeding hormones haven't totally kicked in yet. I know I have a cousin whose twins were followed ten months later by a surprise sibling, and I suspect that was why!

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#32 of 53 Old 10-27-2009, 08:57 PM
 
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As soon as you feel comfortable. That was a few months in my case.

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#33 of 53 Old 10-28-2009, 02:47 PM
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i would say i was up for it by the end of the first week, but it never really felt comfortable until about a month ago. i enjoyed it, but it was MORE enjoyable after i got my period back (fertility cycle really).
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#34 of 53 Old 10-28-2009, 03:12 PM
 
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Wow you guys were ready wayyyy before me. I had two 2nd degree tears which healed fine, but I bled for over 8 weeks. I had not interest whatsoever until 4 months pp.
We tried at 12 weeks and it was pain hell. It Was ok at 4 months pp, but not nice. I'd say about 6 months pp the pain was gone. Real interest from my side didn't kick in until 9-10 months pp, when DS started to eat some crackers and some yogurt and my milk supply went down a little.
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#35 of 53 Old 10-28-2009, 03:44 PM
 
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I had c-sections, but I was ready in about two weeks with dd1 and a little over a month with dd2.

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#36 of 53 Old 10-28-2009, 03:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Comtessa View Post
And I think - though somebody please correct me if I'm wrong - that there's some chance that the first few weeks after a birth are a particularly high-fertility time because pregnancy hormones drop and breastfeeding hormones haven't totally kicked in yet. I know I have a cousin whose twins were followed ten months later by a surprise sibling, and I suspect that was why!
Yep.

We waited two weeks after DD3 was born. She was in the NICU, I was staying near the hospital with her, was an hour from DH for tose two weeks (and the two weeks following until she came home) and desperately needed "normal."

And 39wks later, her brother was born.

So from February 14 to April 20 every year, my youngest two are the same age. It makes for some interesting conversations.

I don't recommend having them that close together, BTW.

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#37 of 53 Old 10-28-2009, 04:04 PM
 
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I had a c-section and was ready about 2 weeks pp - did wait until the bleeding stopped though, so around 3 weeks pp.

And YES about the high fertility time! My Mom was EBF my younger sister and got pregnant with TWINS!! She was shocked and thought she couldn't get pg while breastfeeding. There are 2 weeks out of the year where all 3 of my sisters are the same age.

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#38 of 53 Old 10-28-2009, 04:47 PM
 
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I had little/no interest for about a year (definitely no libido for a year)...but we just waited the 6 weeks the OB had said. I had just a couple of stitches but one of them had not come out even at that point (it was loose but not out) and it was horribly painful. If I ever have stitches again i will insist that there be nothing in there until the stitches are GONE!!
With that said, I have been told that 6weeks is a good guideline even if you didn't tear and your lochia is done because it takes that long for your cervix to completely close again and in the meantime your risk of infection is still increased
Personally, I'll go for bleeding done, no stitches, and not feeling sore down there...I imagine it'll be at least 3wks. I will stick with 6wks as an official guideline, but if I'm feeling ok I may initiate something sooner (in spite of my uber-non-libido), because that would totally rock DH's world

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#39 of 53 Old 11-04-2009, 01:32 AM
 
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I am hoping that I'll feel up to it a little sooner this time. Last time we waited the full 6 weeks 'cause that's just what we were supposed to do. I really felt a lot better all around by 6 weeks.

This time I've been reading up about it because I'd like to get back to "normal" a little sooner. And I think it would make it easier to live with dh if things happened sooner! However, I don't plan to fill him in on my research until I feel ready I'm really hoping I don't have any tears this time. I had an episiotomy the first time and I'm NOT getting one this time unless there is an emergency.

I'm glad I read about the heightened fertility possibility... guess I'll be buying condoms soon. I just went through 3-4 yrs of secondary infertility and swore I wouldn't prevent this time. Well, I've changed my mind. Pregnancy was hard this time! I'm so not ready to do it again and I haven't birthed yet!!

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#40 of 53 Old 11-08-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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I had a 3rd degree tear with DD, and no sex drive whatsoever for a very long time. I was on the outs with DDs father, and ended up not having sex for 2 and a half years (untill I was in a new relationship). I HIGHLY doubt I will be waiting that long this time around

Speaking strictly healing-wise, with the tear and the stitches, I think it was 8 to 10 weeks before everything was healed enough to consider sex, but everyone heals at a different rate.
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#41 of 53 Old 11-08-2009, 09:59 PM
 
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It was about 10 weeks for me. There were times that I really wanted to in the first couple of weeks pp, but I had stitches and it was more about wanting sex than wanting to have sex. Does that make sense?
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#42 of 53 Old 11-08-2009, 10:05 PM
 
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I don't know how long we waited. I didn't feel like it at all, even after six weeks. My mojo was completely out of wack, The dryness from Bfing and the new mommy thing.It took me some time to feel like it was okay to be mommy AND be a sexual woman. I didn't want anything to do with it for awhile. That went over like a ton of bricks.

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#43 of 53 Old 11-08-2009, 10:29 PM
 
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Healing wise, 2 weeks was enough for me. We waited until the bleeding had mostly petered out.

Dh says it's "good medicine". I just like having that closeness back as soon as possible.
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#44 of 53 Old 11-10-2009, 03:58 PM
 
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With DD, we waited 6 weeks. I was under the care of an OB resident and that's what she said to do. I had a 2nd degree tear which healed fine, and my bleeding stopped after only 11 days.

Now w/ DS, I had no tearing (except for a very minor internal one that was not stitched), but he's a month old today and I'm still spotting in spurts. I thought I'd stopped after 9 days this time, but it started back up again, then stopped, then started, then stopped, lol. All just spotty spotting. Anyway my MW said that after my bleeding's been stopped for 3 days, I can "be with" DH again.

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#45 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 09:54 PM
 
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i felt like having sex about 2 days after my baby came out but i know that was just happy hormones. i'm 15 days PP now, and now i REALLY want to have sex, but ugh, i'm still in a lot of pain down there so i don't think it's going to happen any time soon. my 2nd degree tear is taking its sweet time to heal, and everything still feels way too tender and mashed up. but if the happy hormones continue (and my baby keeps sleeping this much!) i can definitely see us getting it on within the next couple of weeks. part of it was how uninterested i was in having sex for the last few months of my pregnancy. i think it was actually around 5 months that we pretty much stopped doing anything.
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#46 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 10:09 PM
 
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I've had all c-sections. With four of them, it was several months before I was ready again. But, I think it's about the breastfeeding. When my son was stillborn, I was ready in about two weeks, despite being achey all over (I had a really rough recovery from that one). I just really, really, really wanted to.

Breastfeeding seems to kill my libido, which seems to be pretty common. It also makes sex a lot less comfortable.

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#47 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 10:34 PM
 
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My doctor said if we did it before 6 weeks use condoms so I assume she didn't care when I had sex. I don't think we actually did until around 8 weeks or so. My bleeding didn't stop until 6 or 7 weeks or we might have earlier.

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#48 of 53 Old 03-08-2010, 10:58 PM
 
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My dd was a c-section and it was still months before I could comfortably have sex, add in some PPD and we were very much lacking in intimacy that first year.

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#49 of 53 Old 03-09-2010, 11:06 AM
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With my first, I had an episiotomy so I waited until the stitches were out-- 4 weeks. With my second, I just waited until the bleeding stopped-- 2 weeks. I expect it'll be about 2 weeks again this time.
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#50 of 53 Old 03-09-2010, 12:21 PM
 
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Umm..we dont' have sex again until at least 14 weeks pp. I can't. It hurts way too much, even though with my middle and youngest son I didn't have any tearing and the births went fantastic. My first son came so fast and I did tear and we think that's what caused the issue I have.

But then again it still hurts more than a year later. But that's partly due to BFing.


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#51 of 53 Old 03-09-2010, 01:09 PM
 
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Previous OBs have told me, "we would like you to wait till after your PP appt" (always at 4 weeks for me)

I am including my miscarriages here as my experience with a more physically traumatic birth.
After my first late miscarriage/D&C for hemorrhage, there was no instruction given, and my midwife had dropped me like a hot potato when I miscarried, so I just followed how I felt...In retrospect I probably should have waited at least 10 days or so. I wound up with pelvic inflammatory problems, may have been the D&C, or may have been the way early sex, no real way of knowing. After my second late miscarriage/d&C for hemorrhage we waited 1 week and then used a non-spermicidal condom till about 4 weeks, and I had no problems.

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#52 of 53 Old 03-17-2010, 04:00 PM
 
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My mw said that we could whenever we felt like it. I suppose she felt like if you're feeling good to go, then you're probably fine down below!

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#53 of 53 Old 03-17-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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I had a minor tear with my first and third births. The first time, we did it at 2 weeks pp, but it was uncomfortable so we didn't do it again until 3 weeks pp - at that point it was fine. After our third, we waited two weeks and it was fine.

With my second birth, I didn't tear, so I felt ready much sooner - we asked our mw when we could have sex again and she said it was fine to do it whenever we felt comfortable. So we did it that night - 2 days pp. And it actually felt totally normal.

I would have hated waiting six weeks. Right after giving birth is a time when I feel joyous, and loving, and extra-close to my dh - sex is a good way of expressing that.

I'll also add that using lubricant can really help, especially if you are bfing, which makes some women dryer than usual.
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