Hospital Birthers: Were You Able to Bedshare with Your Newborn? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Were You Able to Bedshare in Hospital with Your Newborn?
I bedshared without any trouble from staff 180 65.69%
I wanted to bedshare and did despite staff disapproval 40 14.60%
I wanted to bedshare and didn't because of staff disapproval 13 4.74%
I bedshared on the sly to avoid any conflicts 24 8.76%
NA-I didn't want to bedshare 4 1.46%
Other 13 4.74%
Voters: 274. You may not vote on this poll

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#61 of 104 Old 12-03-2009, 12:10 PM
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3 babies, 3 somewhat different experiences.

DS1 - My OB actually walked into the room the afternoon after he was born, looked in the little bassinet and didn't see him. He then asked me where he was, I move the blankets slightly away and he just smiled. Never had an issue with the nurses about it either.

DS2 - birth center on a queen sized bed had no issue about him sleeping there with me. Since the room was needed for another momma coming in, i was moved to the hospital PP floor for the night. The nurses there freaked out about him being in bed with me and made me put him in the bassinet. I complied, and when she left, brought him back with him and any time she walked in after that I made it look like I was nursing.

DD2 - no issues with it. Not even by our Ped. She just smiled, and even did her newborn check while baby was sleeping in my arms on the boppy. She was a c/s, so the boppy worked great for providing relief from her sitting on cut open belly. There were times I had her asleep and laying at the foot of my bed, with my legs crossed.
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#62 of 104 Old 12-03-2009, 06:50 PM
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DS was born in a hospital with midwives, and we had no problems w/ bedsharing. We roomed in, and they mostly left us alone other than 1000 temperature and blood pressure checks that were annoying and IMO unnecessary

One nurse said something like" oh, good, you have the bedrails up with him in there with you" but that was really the only comment.

DD was born at a freestanding birth center so we were home 4 hours later. We all snuggled in the bed there together (DH and DS included) during the overnight hours but DD was the only one sleeping.
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#63 of 104 Old 12-03-2009, 07:15 PM
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After my csec, last baby of 6, I was told that if I was going to bedshare then all I could have for pain relief was extra strength tylenol. They seemed to think that would cure me of the bedsharing urge, but I said, OK! And that's what I took and it was enough. NO way I was putting my baby in that plastic box, and no way I wanted to be drugged if I could help it. Besides, ds nursed near-constantly the first 24hrs anyway. And quite a bit in the next 24, and I went home at 48hrs. On that second day they wanted me to have a shower, get up and move more (til then I'd only gone as far as the bath-chair to pee) and all that 'for my own good' which I'm sure is really true even though I didn't feel ready. Anyway, had a funny exchange with the nurse about ds--she offered to hold him for me while I showered. I gave her a stern look and said "But you're NOT going to do anything to him, right?" (I'd waived all usual newborn stuff, ds had only been separated from me for one hour of recovery post-surgery). She said "No, I PROMISE! I just want to cuddle him if you don't mind, really!" So I gave up my baby to her....she'd been so sweet to us the whole time, everyone was and I was lucky enough to be the only mom on the OB floor that week, small country hospital.
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#64 of 104 Old 12-03-2009, 07:19 PM
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When I had my daughter she spent a lot of time in her bassinet. That was 2 years ago. I just had my son 2months ago and things went a lot differently I knew a lot more, really wanted to breastfeed so knew about the importance of skin to skin.

I don't know how things would be different (or if they would be) but for the first hour of his life we did skin to skin. He didn't really leave my side while we were in the hospital. Each time I tried to put him down he would cry. I was lucky that my husband was able to stay with me, I don't know what I would've done otherwise for bathroom breaks!

The nurses didn't mention anything about me sleeping with him. After his first bath they mentioned his temp was down....and suggested doing skin to skin!!! This made me happy! When my daughter's temp was off, they put her under the warmer

Good luck! (Oh btw, I'm in Canada, don't know if that makes a difference.)
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#65 of 104 Old 12-03-2009, 07:20 PM
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i had cj for 24 hours on and off before he was admitted into the nicu for wet lung from my c-section but he was naked with me on my bare chest the whole time, when they came in to change his bum (i was still hooked on the bed) they would swaddle and put him back in the bedside bassinet. I would then un wrap him and cuddle him back in, they didnt say anything, just do it! its your baby

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#66 of 104 Old 12-03-2009, 07:21 PM
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We bedshared in the hospital. The place where we had the baby actually encourages that sort of thing.

Mother of two great little guys, G (9/28/09) and W (1/20/12)

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#67 of 104 Old 12-03-2009, 07:34 PM
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no one said anything. I had a c/s so someone (dh or my mil) had to be with me at all times but none of the hospital staff said anything about ds being in bed with me. the first night/immediately after the birth when we moved to the pp room a nurse came by and said I should keep ds on my chest skin to skin to help him stay warm. I don't think she intended us to sleep that way...
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#68 of 104 Old 12-03-2009, 08:03 PM
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Ds was born in a hospital with midwives, luckily the one I wanted was there and the birth was great...but the pp nurses were ridiculous! I picked "bedshared in spite of disapproval" but bedshared on the sly might have been more accurate. Even if we were wide awake holding the baby when the nurse came in she would glance first at the plastic salad bin...once she actually gasped, "Where is the baby!?" Umm...we are holding him...isn't that what new parents do? I think one nurse noticed me resting with him next to me in the bed (with a tight roll of blanket blocking the holes in the bed railing) and gave me a little lecture, but I just let it roll off. We hadn't even really planned to co-sleep, it just seemed right from the very first night.
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#69 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 12:58 AM
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We did, and had them tell us a couple times not to, but we did anyway.

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#70 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 02:42 AM
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Bed-sharing was encouraged in my hospital (though a bassinet was provided). The bed was a full-sized bed so even DH could sleep with us.

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#71 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 11:16 AM
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I was told not to because of liability (like the baby falling out anf three feet to the floor). I did nurse and whatever lying down but I don't think I actually slept with DS.
However, when he was hospitalized for pnuemonia at 2 yo I did cosleep with him. The removed the crib that was in the room and put in a regular hospital bed with sides and set the O2 tent up around both of us.

ETA- DS barely nursed at all for the first 24 hours. If he had nursed more then I might have actually done it

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#72 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 11:35 AM
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With dd I didn't really think about it for the most part, but she was in my bed at times with no fuss from the nurses in Lafayette, LA. With both my boys bed sharing was encouraged by the nurses in the hospital. They were both born at Cape Canaveral hospital which is certified baby friendly. When ds1 had to spend a night there at a month old the nurses suggested that I sleep with him to make things go easier for both of us.

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#73 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 01:14 PM
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I did with DD1, and nobody seemed to care, although once I was soundly asleep, somebody would always sneak in and move her to the bassinet. I used to wake up all in a panic because I didn't know where she was. But I guess they meant well, and nobody said a word to me.

But with the twins, we had major conflicts over this. What we wanted to do was for me to sleep with one twin, and DH on the cot with the other, and then switch every hour or two, so that each one got plenty of nursing time all day and night. We had this one nurse who got all in a flap about it, and brought in six or so of her colleagues to read me the riot act about it and make threats-- they were going to take the babies and put them in the nursery if I insisted on sleeping with them. So I'd listen politely and put them in the bassinet, and then move them again once they left the room. This went on for that whole nurse shift, and then after that we were the pariahs of the labor and delivery ward. The rest of the nurses left us alone, maybe TOO much, and it was obvious we'd acquired a reputation.

Luckily the midwife attached to my OB practice was supportive, and she got in between the nurses and our family, to shield us from some of the crap.

In both cases I had a c-section, but I declined any meds past the first 18 hours, because I wanted to be maximally alert for the babies, because I'm allergic to several of the common post-op meds, and because I hate being groggy.

I just couldn't understand how anybody expected me to nurse at least 12 times in 24 hours, each baby, one baby at a time-- the ped's recommendation, because of the twins' low birth weight and jaundice-- and still get enough sleep to recover from a section, if I wasn't allowed to sleep with them. Seems to me it was all a scam to get me to give in and allow them to feed the babies bottles.

Same hospital both times. One of the reasons I would never recommend that place.

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#74 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 01:32 PM
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With dd1, we didn't think we would cosleep, so I didn't try.

With dd2, I didn't think they'd let me, but I couldn't bear to have her in the bassinet and not against me. One of the nurses asked me, "Do you want her to sleep with you?" And then she rolled up their hospital receiving blankets to make a tight firm barrier against the rails of the bed, and I was able to have SJ sleep in the crook of my arm. It was lovely. I was only there the one night, so I don't know if other nurses would have been as supportive ....

ETA: I think if I'd had trouble, my OB would have had my back. When I was pregnant with dd2, he asked me where this baby would be sleeping, with dh and me or elsewhere. I said, "With us!" and he said, "Good, I think that's best."

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#75 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 02:22 PM
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I've had four. Bedsharing didn't come up with ds1, because he was only in my room at all the last night. I was in really rough shape after the c-section (partly from exhaustion, partly from surgery - mostly from the anesthetic, sleeping pill and 4+ days with no solid food), and couldn't care for him properly. At that time, our hospital didn't allow the spouse to stay the night.

I didn't bedshare at the hospital with dd1 or ds2, but dh was there with dd1, and handed her to me at the smallest sound. With ds2, I had to manage on my own, so he partly bedshared (ie. get up, bring him into bed, and then take a long time to put him back).

I bedshared with dd2. The nurses helped me get her into a good position (getting on my side was hard, so we had her propped with pillows - still hospital ones - so that she could just roll over and latch). During the night, the nurse would come in very quietly and check on us with a flashlight, then go away. That was a welcome change of pace.

It really varies from one time, place and person to another, I think.

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#76 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 02:49 PM
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I haven't read the rest of the replies, but I was able to bedshare without any flak from the staff. I'm not even sure they noticed. And I was in the hospital for 5 days after a c-section.

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#77 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 02:59 PM
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I was too drugged and exhausted from 28 hours of back labor + emergency c-section. DH stayed awake, holding her while I slept. She was airlifted to a hospital with a NICU 24 hours after her birth so we didn't have a chance, then hooked up to machines in the NICU for 3 weeks.

Two lessons:
1) Birth experiences matter, but they aren't everything, so don't worry if it doesn't go as planned;
2) Life does not follow your plans!

Aside from those first 3 weeks, DD has never spent an evening/night away from me, so overall I consider us very lucky.

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#78 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 04:13 PM
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Did not co-sleep in hospital w/ Ds1, but did when he was admitted @ 3 weeks w/ pneumonia, IV and all!

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#79 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 04:18 PM
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My older two girls were born in the hospital and I bedshared with both of them with no problems. Actually after dd1 was born (after a long labor and transport) I was so tired I asked to put her in the bassinet but they said no, she'd have to be taken to the nursery if I wasn't going to hold her. So I gave her to dh to hold.
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#80 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 05:09 PM
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I voted that I bedshared without any problems with the staff...

In reality it was my Mom that was the issue the first night. She is a nurse (though not in a hospital) and she was with me overnight. She had issues with cosleeping so I ended up just not sleeping pretty much. He was on me all night and I left early as I could the next morning. The hospital pretty much didn't say anything to midwifery clients and just let the midwives "deal with them" My midwife though cosleeping was a fabulous idea

With DS#2 I birthed in a hospital that is NOT cosleeping friendly. As in they made me sign a waiver when I was there with him at two months old for breathing issues. However DP was with me and he was sleeping either on me or on DP all night. Noone said anything, but then all they really said to me was "Oh, you're the one still nursing her older child..." and when I'd agree that yes I was they basically left since they figured that meant I didn't need anything (which was fine with me ).

Both boys were vaginal births. With DS1 I had an epidural which had worn off by the time I was back to my room pretty much. Plus gravol (which actually hit me harder then the pain stuff) which made me sleepy but wore off before bed time. With DS2 I had nothing for pain at all and no gravol. I did have a PPH though with DS2 that was quite severe a few hours after the birth and that is why DP had him for part of that night. I needed to regain some strength and I made sure if I had him and fell asleep that DP didn't fall asleep so that he was being watched (I was fine with DP sleeping with him while I slept... it wasn't a long labour so he was well rested coming in and he'd had no blood loss )

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#81 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 05:18 PM
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With both my kids the hospital had a no co-sleeping policy, you had to sign it saying you wouldn't cosleep. I just didn't sign it. And when the nurse gave me crap I'd pretend to listen and ignore her.

When my son was hospitalized when he was 8 months old (for nasty ear infection and RSV). I co-slept with him. They required an oxygen monitor be on him, they said nothing about it except the o2 monitor which he should have had on anyways since he had breathing issues. The nurse was so cute. His oxygen dropped once at night and she came in and was paranoid that i'd be sleeping on him... instead it was from him awake and trying to nurse.

I was hospitalized once when DS was 3 months old and they never said anything about him cosleeping lol I was on a heart monitor and every time he'd nurse I always had people come running in thinking I was having some heart issue because he would play with the monitor. We eventually just took it off when I was nursing or pumping.

With child number 3 hopefully we will have our homebirth and it won't matter

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#82 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 05:27 PM
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My first two were born in different hospitals; the policy at both was that if you were asleep your baby wasn't supposed to be in the bed with you. Since they woke me up every time they came into the room, they never saw me asleep with a baby, so it wasn't an issue.

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#83 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 09:29 PM
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I had a c/s with my 3rd instead of our planned homebirth and was really upset to find out that they do not "allow" cosleeping at all in the hospital. DS was literally nursing every hour and then falling asleep on me, so I kept falling asleep with him on me. The nurses would come in and insist that the baby had to go back in his plastic box This is one of the reasons we left the day after he was born, despite me having had a c/s.

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#84 of 104 Old 12-04-2009, 11:54 PM
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My experience was sort of in between I bedshared with/without approval, so I marked with. The staff never said anything about dd sleeping with me but they did mention the dangers of cosleeping, gave brochures against it, etc but it was always intimated that one shouldn't do it once at home. It's like they didn't see us cosleeping in the hospital. This was the same hospital with the LC who cautioned against bfing the baby on demand, though, so I just did my own thing.

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#85 of 104 Old 12-05-2009, 11:43 PM
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dd1- small local rural hospital, unplanned c/s. The hospital staff was ok with my sleeping with her in the bed but I really wasn't comfortable doing it the first few days. So she slept on my when I was awake and then DH held her while I slept.

dd2- same small local rural hospital, this time a vbac! We coslept without issue during our stay. DH couldn't stay since he was spending nights at home with our dd1, so dd2 did spend some time in her "cradle" while I showered and did stuff like that. (the nursing staff was great though and if a nurse was available they'd stay in the room to hold the baby while mama took a shower or ate a meal.

ds- larger regional hospital, again a vbac. They didn't say anything when I slept with ds in arms. No one seemed surprised, but no one mentioned it. I was there over a weekend though and the staff coming on Monday morning (as I checked out) seemed a bit less open to "alternative" ideas so they may have been unhappy with cosleeping.

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#86 of 104 Old 12-05-2009, 11:50 PM
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It was NOT allowed in both of the hospitals I delivered in. In fact, one time I was threatened that they weren't going to leave him in the room anymore!!! Anytime I fell asleep with my babies they moved them and then lectured me about how dangerous it was!!! grrr...
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#87 of 104 Old 12-06-2009, 02:14 PM
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I voted other. I didn't try to bedshare in the hospital. But I ended up falling asleep while nursing anyway. Nobody said anything negative about it. I didn't try to bedshare at home until Dd1 was around a week old and I realized I wasn't going to get any sleep any other way.

Dd2 was born at home and slept with us right away.

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#88 of 104 Old 12-06-2009, 10:50 PM
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Bedshared in the hospital with my first.

At one point the nurse needed to tell me something but the babe and I were both sleeping. So she wrote a note and put it on the kiddo so she knew I'd find it.
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#89 of 104 Old 12-09-2009, 02:36 PM
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I was not supposed to co-sleep. But the typical hospital bed was in my opinion quite unsafe for co-sleeping -- very possible for the baby to slip through the sides. I held/nursed the baby a great deal, and barely slept as the hospital was very loud and it was always possible to wake up before the nurse came in.
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#90 of 104 Old 12-09-2009, 05:19 PM
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My three were all born in different hospitals. With DD1 they discouraged it, and even took her to the nursery a few times while I was sleeping.

With DD2 they said "oh, we have to leave the bassinet in here in case you don't want the baby in bed with you."

With DD3 they said I had to leave a light on while she was sleeping with me. I never figured that one out, but whatever.
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Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.