Baby Sister's First Baby - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 01-13-2010, 01:43 PM - Thread Starter
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Here to vent to people who will understand. My sister asked me to be her labor support as she wanted an unmedicated, all-natural birth. I live five hours from her. I arrived when she was getting close to transition. For some unknown reason she was on Pit when I got there, even though she was dilating like gangbusters (I think she stalled out at four, her water hadn't even broken yet, but *someone* was in a damn hurry).

So the labor nurse keeps talking to her during ctx even when she asked her not to.

Then she starts feeling pushy and the nurse keeps telling her not to push. For, like, half an hour. They keep telling her to wait for the doctor to get there. Are you *kidding* me? So I'm telling her gently and quietly that her body knows what to do and she doesn't have to wait if she doesn't want to (she's yelling "I can't wait" at the top of the ctx).

Dr. *finally* shows and three or four people immediately start doing the "push for ten counts in sets of three" crap, counting at her, saying "pushpushpushpushpush comeoncomeoncomeon gogogogogogo stop!" overandoverandover. I was waiting for a sign from her that she wanted them to stop, which she indicated, so I asked them to - and you know what? Her pushes got a *whole* lot more effective after that.

So then baby's head is partially out for about ten sets of these groups of three, and doctor says baby's not happy that way so she's going to do an episiotomy. I say, "she doesn't want an ep." Doctor says, "she needs one, and Mrs.D (my other sister that was there, a former patient of hers) knows I would not do one unnecessarily)." Cut cut cut. I have no basis for this opinion, but I'd be willing to bet baby's head was "stuck" like that b/c of the damn directed pushing.

So then my BIL asks if they will delay clamping the cord until it stops pulsing and doctor says no. I say, "that's her preference, what is the reason?" I'm trying very hard to come across non-confrontational, but I'm saying confrontational things regardless, and I'm not making any friends here. Doctor launches into a long medical explanation about the risks of the cord blood going backwards and that being dangerous. I ask if she'll at least wait a few minutes, and she says she'll wait one. (To her credit, she did ask if it was OK before she did so).

So then baby is taken immediately to the warmer rather than given to mama. Cleaned up, diapered, swaddled in four! blankets, blah blah blah, sister is wondering where her baby is while she is being stitched up with a million stitches - I don't know for sure, but I think she tore past the epis. Oh, and doctor did a whole lot of tugging on the cord when the placenta was coming down. So my sister is screaming in pain from the stitches and they shoot her IV full of Stadol, telling her *as they are doing it*. She spends the next hour shaking and incoherent, and unable to confidently hold her baby when she finally gets her. I tried to help her nurse but she was so foggy and shaky she wasn't up for it yet and then I left the new family alone.

I'm headed over now to help out. Thanks for listening.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#2 of 5 Old 01-13-2010, 01:49 PM
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Sorry, I don't have anything else to say. Good for you for being there to support here.

I guess this is just another testament as to how it is crucial to pick your HCP very, very carefully.

Congrats though on the birth of your DN!
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#3 of 5 Old 01-13-2010, 04:17 PM
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I'm sorry. How incredibly frustrating for you and your sister. I hope she heals quickly.
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#4 of 5 Old 01-13-2010, 04:45 PM
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Obviously, there are differences (i.e., I was directed to push my baby out before my trusted doctor arrived), but your post reminded me of my own birth experience. How very frustrating, especially after everything that I tried to do ahead of time to prevent such things (especially tearing). I hope your sister is recovering well, physically and mentally.

Now mom to a boy born January 2010. 
Cautiously expecting Dec 2014!

 12/08 (6 weeks),  1/13 (11 weeks), &  12/13 (9.5 weeks)
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#5 of 5 Old 01-13-2010, 08:21 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the well-wishes. I've been over there this afternoon helping with nursing. She's had a little trouble there, which I attribute to not getting to for many hours after birth, but she is (they are) learning quickly. I told her I'd be available to go back later tonight after my kids are asleep. We enjoyed rehashing the experience today. She is rightly proud of herself for managing drug-free.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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