CSection Support Thread 7 (Feb/March 2004) - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 65 Old 03-02-2004, 09:00 AM
 
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hi all,
happy to have found you- i love my march mamas thread and wish i had found you sooner- i am having a c-section tomorrow- i'm not conflicted about this one as i have many indications that it is safer to do this than to labor.
now, my first birth, on the other hand... i have found myself so upset about my first c-section- it was 3 years ago and i have worked through much of it- but it has been hard to forgive myself and the "system" and to recognize how much it has cost me since then-
anyway, i appreciate this board- i look forward to checking in w'you-
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#32 of 65 Old 03-02-2004, 09:38 AM
 
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I was birthing at home. I was fully dialated and 10 cm when my Midwife showed up. I was so glad to see her b/c I had been breathing thru the push urge for 30 minutes. She of course confirmed my worry. Breech presentation. We called the hospital to let them know that we were on our way. All was calm, I was doing well, and so was my son. And the rest (one year later is still hard to discuss) was sureal. I had an emerg C section. I call it a section b/c I believe that birthing is something that women do, and I felt like I wasn't even there. I left the hospital 13 hours later. I had VERY painful gas for 12 days. I would love to do a VBAC at home. . . but will I be able to find anyone help me? That remains to be seen. The way he was born does not bother me, rather the way I was treated and the disregard for my wishes.
And the worst thing was that there was a Dr. on the ward who specialized in breech birth!
Loving life and Being a Mom
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#33 of 65 Old 03-02-2004, 11:36 AM
 
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Gina- you will be in my thoughts as your child is born It is so good that you are at peace with the c-birth, that'll make a big difference in the surgery and recovery.

Morgraine- I am sorry to hear about your disappointment in your birth, and how badly you were treated in the process, I hope you feel comfortable sharing and working through it all with us . Was there an agreement with your midwife that she wouldn't deliver a breech baby? Was it an unusual breech presentation? From the folks on this forum, you would think all midwives were well trained and comfortable with breech delivery:

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#34 of 65 Old 03-02-2004, 11:16 PM
 
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In Ontario Canada midwives are covered by the our health care plan. There is no cost. They are a self regulating profession. Their scope of practice requires transfere of care to a Med Physician.

I think that a planned cb is probably easier to cope with in some ways. I am very glad that I did have the chance to labour. Who knows?

In the news lately there is lots of Hype about an elective cs. I can't understand it. And what I do understand scares me. Where is the magic and mystery of birth. Why would you choose to avoid it? How can I be more empathetic to women who choose elective cs? Any ideas?
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#35 of 65 Old 03-02-2004, 11:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I want to say that I am in no way supportive of women electing to have csection to avoid pain, save their pelvic floor or sex life.

I am supportive of women who choose to have repeat surgical births. Here is why. While there may be a 75% success rate of VBAC *and not I dont think that is an accurate statistic for the US* I think that women need to go with their gut and what they feel comfortable with. While rupture may be small for VBAC, some women may not feel comfortable with that small percentage. But rupture is not the only risk with VBAC. And I think that is often ignored.

For me planning my csection was crucial to me have a good outcome. I had no desire to go into labor. None. I don't think pushing a baby out of vagina or having horrific pain is the mark of a good woman or mother. I feel that this was safest, saneist thing I could do for myself and my baby. I knew the risks and I though they were far less than a VBAC. With a mullerian anomaly and a baby's shoulder presenting against the cervix, high blood pressure, and protien beginning to spill in my urine I felt comfortable with my decision to move forward with a surgical birth.
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#36 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 02:05 AM
 
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on the fence - you seem very empowered by your experience. If I don't end up as a VBAC for whatever reason, I will remember your common sense on the issue.

One the issue of elective cs - For me this topic really gets my hackles up. I don't really think that planning the day and time of a babies birth is a very good reason for elective cs. To me that attitude is not conducive to enjoying a new baby. I mean they rarely "fit" into your schedual! That said I believe in women supporting and not judging other women. It is a great divide in some ways. I think that there are bridges. Compassion . . .
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#37 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 02:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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<<One the issue of elective cs - For me this topic really gets my hackles up. I don't really think that planning the day and time of a babies birth is a very good reason for elective cs. To me that attitude is not conducive to enjoying a new baby.>>

Many of his here planned our second (third or fourth) csections. I dont believe anyone here intentionally planned their first csections for just "timing". However, I will tell you that if I had a daughter in the position I was in the day she was born, I would have her plan a csection. (I had a transverse breech presentation and other complications, including broken ribs)

I was recently reading an article about women having csections to protect the pelvic floor. Ok, that is weird. Save your pelvic floor, but hey have all your guts cut through that will never be the same again with adhesions. O yeah, there is a plus -- NOT.
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#38 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 01:24 PM
 
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About the 75% success rat in the US. If I just go by the ppl I know IRL... 6 have had c/bs and only 1 has had a vbac. The others either opted for the repeat (2) and the rest were failed vbacs. So, just in my own little world 75% ain't right...

About saving the pelvic floor and your sex life....
I know several women who had to have c/bs after I had my first. They were completely distraught over it. One of the things I gave them as a plus (because sometimes you just have to find it in a situation) is that you didn't have to worry about tearing and it afecting sex. Yeah, that might sound really surperficial but i heard those same women say it because it is a "plus" in something that most ppl see as a "minus"

I would never have planned a c/b for convenience the first time. To me that is silly. but it really is no different than women planning inductions for conveneince. I know several women who on their very first ob appts schedule their induction. Now that is what I call jumping the gun.

As for needing to feel labor and pushing a baby out. That was the hardest thing for me to overcome mentally and emotionally. To know I won't ever feel it. Well, I've felt labor and while it was not that great I loved every minute of it. Just knowing my body was doing what is was built to do was amazing. I'm still sad that i didn't labor and birth on my own. But you know what, I don't ever really think about it unless I think about it on purpose. I don't jstu have thoughts in the day about...Oh boohoo I washed I had pushed a baby out my vagina!

i could go on but I have a crying baby and a quiet toddler....

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#39 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 02:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think the VBAC success rates I have read are not very accurate. Of course it may depend on where you live. I do know women who have had succesful VBAC and HBAC. But I know just as equal failed VBACs as well. One of the failed VBACs was a woman whose dr put his foot down at the 42 week mark. And they knew when she concieved because she had fertility treatments. They did cervidil over night and then started on a low dosage of pit the next morning. At 42 weeks her baby was still high and she was barely a one. By noon the next day she was at a 2 and baby was really high. They even did an US to see where he was! After the US the mom just gave in the towel. The dr doesnt know why she didnt go into labor, never responded to an induction, or why the baby was not engaged. He was puzzled. Sometimes it just aint meant to be.
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#40 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 03:18 PM
 
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Here is my birth story....

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...hreadid=120755

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#41 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 03:30 PM
 
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Megan, I read your story- it was very nice , I like how you didn't make any apologies about your decision

And to OTF- let's just say- I've been reading around , and Thank You and , I just don't have the energy for it, or even the will, but I am glad you do, it's nice to have someone speak for me, even if it does feel like this

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#42 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 04:53 PM
 
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Why should i apologize? I did not give birth to my sons the way that i did for statistics or to make a point or to have something to brag about.

My birth experience is just like my life. it is what "I" make it to be.

kwim?? I think sometimes ppl do what they do to prove something. I remember someone recently (i remember but not saying who...so you might know too ) a first time c/b mom saying that she didn't feel like she had much of a story to write about her c/b birth. It was planned due to baby positioning but she felt like it wasn't much of a story.

I felt so bad because she had this feeling that her story wasn't worth sharing because it wasn't all "natural". She didn't have her baby at home or in water or on the highway. She just had her baby.

Not that i could read her mind but I'mr eally jsut generalizing and she popped into my head

But I think some women have been fooled into thinking their birth has to be abc in order to be a "worthy" birth.

Why can't we all jsut make babies, be excited about them, and give birth? Why does it have to be a contest about who did things the "right" way? Is there really a right way?

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#43 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 05:06 PM
 
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ITA! You go girl!

And, yes, I know who said that, and I felt bad that she felt her birth story was not important, and I was glad when she realized it was I have chosen not to post my birth story, as it's not a positive c-birth experience (except in the outcome which is what matters), and I don't want to add fuel to the anti-c-birth vibe in certain places, YK? I liked how you spoke well of all the people in the OR, which I would not be able to say the same about, so I only told my story on here.

I hope you know that when I said I was glad you didn't make apologies, that I was not implying that you have anything to apologize for

I know what you mean about doing things to prove something. I secretly (well I mentioned it here :LOL) wanted to birth this baby at home, it kept running through my mind that maybe it *could* happen that way. Not until after the birth was I so very glad that it didn't happen that way, and I have to honestly say that if it weren't for coming here (MDC) I never would've had that longing (to birth at home), and I never think about it(the fact that all my kids were born via c-birth) as a *negative*except when I am here.

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#44 of 65 Old 03-03-2004, 06:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by jess7396

I hope you know that when I said I was glad you didn't make apologies, that I was not implying that you have anything to apologize for
Oh, I knew that! You of all ppl no you don't have to amke apologies

Quote:
I never think about it(the fact that all my kids were born via c-birth) as a *negative*except when I am here. [/B]
Thats sad isn't it. I get that feeling every once in awhile. That is why I stay away from the B&B forum especially. If you look quite a few of the posts are negative c/bs and mainly from women who have never had one. They are just quoting articles and such.

yes, I think that c/bs are done way too often. But until we, as a whole, decide that the "medical" way isn't the best all the time then it isn't going to change. No amount of screaming "No more C/Ss" is going to change anything. That is just how things are. Because lets face it. In some cases it isn't just the best way it is the ONLY way!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#45 of 65 Old 03-04-2004, 06:18 PM
 
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Hi there ladies!

If you're wondering why I haven't posted lately, it's because I just got home from the hospital. I have quite a tale, but I'll keep it brief.

Tuesday 24 Feb at 6 pm, I came down with what doctors suspect was the Norwalk virus (violent vomiting and diarrhea). Called DH, told him to come home NOW! By about 6:30, I was 'empty', so the dry-heaves commenced. Called the doctor at 7:15 - I was having MONSTER contractions every 3-5 minutes - not like I'd ever had before. And let me tell you, dry-heaves and contractions are not fun. Was instructed to head to the hospital.

Got to the hospital around 8:30, bucket in hand. Needless to say, at L&D triage, they put me in my own room and masked, gloved and gowned up. I told them that I didn't want to have the baby that night, that I had a planned CB for Thursday. They seemed a little shocked at that (my OB wasn't on duty, and I didn't know the on-call doctor - but, a friend of mine who worked at the hospital told me she was good so I wasn't too worried.) The doctor said, "Well, let's check you out and see what's going on."

So they hooked me up to an IV (I was severely dehydrated), gave me some serious anti-nausea medicine (which worked pretty well) and then waited to see if the contractions slowed down. After 7 bags of fluid, and about 6 hours, I was READY for my son to come. The doctor wasn't really happy with his heart-rate - too high for a while- so my bouncing baby boy was born via CB at 3:09am on Wed 25 February. His apgars were 8 and 9, so he was no worse for wear from the virus that made me (and our ENTIRE family) very much the worse for wear!

As many of you know, I was agonizing about having a repeat CB versus a VBAC. The doctor wouldn't have let me deliver vagnially - I was simply too weak. In addition, she told me I had severe scarring and adhesions (some of the worst she'd ever seen). Before we started I told her we were interested in having two more children - so she spent a lot of time trying to repair things. She said we would be able to have more children under close supervision with a planned CB. That's OK with me!

My son and I were in an isolation room. Anyone who came in had to put on a gown and gloves. We were set to go home on Sunday, but by Friday I had developed a UTI/Kidney infection and then on Sunday I was diagnosed with cellulitis of my abdomen (skin infection). I then got to meet some of Washington DC's finest infection medicine specialists. I've been on intravenious antibiotics since Monday.

I was released today (8 days after the birth) with a mid line IV. A nurse will be visiting us for the next 4 or 5 days to administer IV antibiotics once a day.

This has really been a remarkable experience. Here are some of the High/Lows:

Lows:
- 9 days away from my daughter and husband!
- having to interrupt BFing for 40 hours b/c/o misinformation about the safety of bfing with one of the antibiotics they tried
- Bizarre skin infection!

Here are some of the up sides:

- My son is gorgeous, wonderful, a beautiful baby!
- the birth experience (once I received my spinal and got some pain relief) was a wonderfully intimate experience. Though I had just met the doctor, she was wonderfully experienced with a wry sense of humor. The anesthesiologist and nurse-anesthetist were the same ones who helped me deliver my daughter 2 years ago! Imagine the statistical improbability of that!
- The nurses and clinical assistants at my hospital were wonderfully supportive, empathetic and sympathetic. They helped me through the lows and celebrated the highs with me. I bonded with many of them. They shared their own stories of challenges during child-bearing and life in general. They were truly remarkable. It was a wonderfully affirming experience to be surrounded by such amazing women.
- My doctors were amazing. The Pediatrician made sure to write my son's discharge orders so that he would be discharged with me (since he was ready to go home days before I was). That way we didn't have to be separated.
- My family was so supportive, they visited, took care of my daughter and did everything they could to keep my spirits up.

Despite the drama of my son's entrance and the complications, this was a wonderful birth experience - very positive and affirming. I'm already looking forward to bringing home my kids' next playmate! (Though I want to get well recovered from this one first!)

Thank you all for your support during this process! Good Luck to everyone who is trying to make a decision and who is recovering and enjoying their new family member.

deb
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#46 of 65 Old 03-04-2004, 06:26 PM
 
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I forgot to add - he was 8lbs 9oz!

He's alert and has a latch like a vacuum - both my nipples are bleeding now, but we're working out our latch issues (mis-positioning). I think now that we're home and people won't be walking into the room to take my/his vitals or mess with the IV, we'll be able to focus a bit better.

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#47 of 65 Old 03-04-2004, 06:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Deb, I am so glad you and your baby pulled through such an illness and you were still able to have a good birth experience, even though not under ideal circumstances!

I am glad they worked hard to repair you and sew you up really good so you can have more babies! It is great to have a wonderful staff that works with you and not against you.

I hope you can recover from this sickness quickly and be back to yourself soon.

We want to see a pic of that beautiful baby boy!!!

Congrats again!!!!

Kim
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#48 of 65 Old 03-04-2004, 07:21 PM
 
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UD_Chick Congratulations on the birth of your babe. Make sure his lips are outward on the breast(like when he latches pull the top and bottom lips *out*on the breast)- that was what made mine bleed with dd and ds#1, I corrected it right away with this babe and nipples never bled Just a thought!

Sorry to hear you were so sick going into this and are still on antibiotics- YUCK! But, you gotta do, right?

I hope you are enjoying your babymoon! Come join the Jan/. Feb. 2004 mamas thread in Life With a Babe, IOF and I are there

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#49 of 65 Old 03-05-2004, 01:51 AM
 
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Ack! Ack! I've written 2 long responses and lost both of them! Let's just say that I've been thinking about the moms having their babies, and I can't wait to hear more.

I'm also officially retiring from looking at other threads in Birth and Beyond for the rest of my pregnancy, so y'all will have to let me know when the c/b subforum is set up.

Did I ask anyone for a c/b birth plan? I've been getting my birth plan ready, and I think I've got the VBAC part in good shape, but I was hoping for cheat sheet from someone here for plan B.
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#50 of 65 Old 03-05-2004, 02:49 AM
 
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Guess what were having????



A BOY!!!!
I guess Luke was right, he has been telling us since day 1 it was a bother LOL....

They werent going to do an ultrasound today but because of some of the pains i have been having they decided to. Im glad
We got some great pics!!
Things went well, i am 18 wks (for some reason i thought i was farther who knows!)
The c-sec is scheduled app for July 12 unless something happens before then. I will go in on July 11 and get an amnio done and if everythings ok theyll do the c-sec the next day.

I am on lifting restrictions...no more lifting more than 15 lbs and they put me back in physical therapy YAY..
But im nervous about telling my Physical therapist that i am pg again LOL...shes really neat though..



I am excited that things are going so well I just wanted to update you guys on me...i know i dont post that much lately i have been in lurker mode LOL..

Hopefully ill get out of it soon.
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#51 of 65 Old 03-05-2004, 01:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all,

I really want to see the people who post here keep this thread and subsequent threads alive on Mothering. I am taking a break.

My Cbirth birthplan is in the other thread if anyone wants it and would like to use it. You can PM me or email me at [email protected] if you have any questions about it or what type of pain management I used.

I hope all of you who are waiting to give birth have successful births with healthy babies, whether that be through repeat surgical births or VBACs.

Also, dont let anyone question your motives and choices, stay strong!



Kim
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#52 of 65 Old 03-05-2004, 02:05 PM
 
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Take care, OTF.

Congratulations, UD CHICK! What a wonderful birth.

And congratulations Dawnalex!

How is everyone recovering that birthed recently?

My daughter is six months old-still have a little numbness and my incision itches fiercely! Yesterday I was thinking about the midwife that contributed to c/b #1 and of course affected c/b #2.
I never felt the need to confront her, and I did forgive her. But I'm feeling the need to write her a letter and share my experience w/c/b #2, just so she's aware of the impact of that event (she doesn't know I've had a second child.) She needs to fully understand how her part in the c/b went on to affect my next birth.

Other than that, I'm truly experiencing more and more acceptance and closure.

I'm happy about that.
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#53 of 65 Old 03-05-2004, 02:07 PM
 
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OTF,

You deserve a break. Take some time to recharge your batteries. But please come back to us when you are ready. I can't even begin to tell you how much you have meant to me. Discovering this thread, getting some valuable information, and finding support and people who understood my csection experience has been wonderful.

I know that because of you and this thread, my next csection will be a much better experience. Thank you for all the work you do to help support us csection AP mom!



You are a hero in my eyes!

Susan
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#54 of 65 Old 03-05-2004, 05:35 PM
 
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OTF- I understand completely, but will miss you holding us together, hope you can take your time away and come back like Ladylee has You will be missed greatly. Thank you for helping me out so much with this last c-birth, and helping me come to terms with all of my births- with NO APOLOGIES!

I'll be e-mailing you soon

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#55 of 65 Old 03-06-2004, 01:00 PM
 
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My recovery continues to be excellent. Just the tiniest bit of numbness. I am only limited in activity by time, not at all by physical ability.

Catherine has to have a hernia repaired surgically on Monday. Any moms who have spent nights in the hospital with babies, please advise. I was in with Meg one night with RSV and it was just awful. BUT! This situation is a private room which will be so much better, at least.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#56 of 65 Old 03-06-2004, 02:33 PM
 
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Do we know when the new forum will open?? I've seen MamOui post (she is the mod right??) a couple times lately so...

OTF..>Come back soon!! Like others have said, I've really appreciated your input and help on a lot of different levels!

Ladylee--Thank you for coming back!!!

My recovery is awesome! Bryce is 5 weeks 2 days old. I have numbness in my incision but that is fine. I'm losing weight. I can't get over how gross my tummy looks! Not from anything in particular but from just losing a baby tummy

I had some skin iritation in the beginning. Anything rubbing across my skin KILLED. But that is mostly gone. My incision looks great and I have no muscle soreness anymore. I feel great and I'm pretty much back to everything normal...even my pre-pg clothes

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#57 of 65 Old 03-06-2004, 02:40 PM
 
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congradulations ud_chick!

so happy for u and new baby, glad you are doing well s!
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#58 of 65 Old 03-06-2004, 10:39 PM
 
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Things got a bit ugly last week and they're reconsidering giving us our own forum:

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...85#post1162185



This topic does touch upon people's emotions-it's hard for it to not spark controversy and division, as much as I wish it wouldn't.
I can understand people feeling angry and frustrated that they aren't "heard"-sometimes it's very difficult to not get personal. I certainly don't want to diminish anyone's anger, and even though things got heated I know at least it's a way for some to fully own their power by expressing their anger and that's good. Even if it means we don't get our own forum.
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#59 of 65 Old 03-07-2004, 05:06 AM
 
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well, that's bad news for me. i was really looking forward to the new forum. i'm pregnant now and busy with a toddler so i don't have a lot of time to sift thru long threads to find the information i want.
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#60 of 65 Old 03-07-2004, 10:42 AM
 
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I know, Susu.

I personally think having our own forum would prevent a lot of conflict, as opposed to having both sides come into contact with each other on general threads within Birth and Beyond.
I hope MDC gives the cesarean sub forum a chance-maybe test it and see how it goes. It would be a shame to prevent it based on the actions of just a few people.
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