Invite Doula to Baby Shower? - Mothering Forums

Invite Doula to Baby Shower?

mamameg's Avatar mamameg (TS)
05:53 PM Liked: 11
#1 of 8
02-27-2004 | Posts: 2,654
Joined: Feb 2004
Hello everyone... I am curious is anyone has invited their doula to their baby shower? I love our doula, and we have considered inviting her and her family to our shower, but I'm not sure if we are way off base in doing so. The purpose of this would be to get to know us better, along with our family and friends -- I would INSIST on NO GIFT -- but I don't want her to feel obligated if it's not something she would normally do.

Thought? Opinons? Experiences?

sarahwebb's Avatar sarahwebb
06:02 PM Liked: 0
#2 of 8
02-27-2004 | Posts: 693
Joined: Feb 2002
I'd say definitely not, but I'm very cautious about who I invite to obligatory gift events. The purpose of a shower is to give gifts. I think it might be awkward for her even if you tell her not to bring a gift. Any other gathering or get together that you could include her in?

Of course, I forgot to notice where you are--this might not be such a big issue if you're living in a more progressive area. Here in the deep south it would be a faux pas.

mamameg's Avatar mamameg (TS)
07:34 PM Liked: 11
#3 of 8
02-27-2004 | Posts: 2,654
Joined: Feb 2004
Thanks for your response, Sarah.

I live in Northern CA -- pretty liberal and loose around these here parts! But I still think you are right about being careful with who you invite to a gift giving event. Even if I insisted she not bring one, she might not be comfortable with that and feel obligated anyway, and I certainly don't want that! Probably best to err on the side of caution.

Thanks again for your input!

Defenestrator's Avatar Defenestrator
07:45 PM Liked: 11
#4 of 8
02-27-2004 | Posts: 1,890
Joined: Oct 2002
I have always been honored to go to baby showers, blessingways, naming ceremonies, etc.

The way I see it, if I don't want to go I can always have a "previous engagement" Nobody is forcing me to do anything.

I look at it as a way to spend a little time with my clients' friends and family, which makes my job all the easier because a lot of them aren't familiar with doulas and don't have a real sense of what it is that I do.

I will usually knit a little baby hat or socks or something like that as a present.
mamameg's Avatar mamameg (TS)
08:00 PM Liked: 11
#5 of 8
02-27-2004 | Posts: 2,654
Joined: Feb 2004
Defenestrator - thanks for your input, too! Now I'm really torn! :LOL

However, you got me thinking... we do plan on having a baby blessing... maybe that would be a better event to invite her to. After all, my family will not be present at the birth, so meeting them beforehand isn't really a big deal.

Victorian's Avatar Victorian
10:23 PM Liked: 11
#6 of 8
02-27-2004 | Posts: 2,715
Joined: Jan 2003
I love going to baby showers and blessingways!

If you truely don't want her to bring a gift, let her know. I would probably bring something small like massage oil that can be used at the birth.

In fact, some Doulas plan blessingwayhs for their clients.

I had both my midwives at my blessingway and it was great fun.

stayinghome's Avatar stayinghome
12:38 AM Liked: 11
#7 of 8
02-28-2004 | Posts: 4,726
Joined: Jul 2002
I'm a doula and have been invited to two baby showers/ blessingways. I liked going to both and became friends with those clients. If it feels right to you, I'd say go for it!
tmarina's Avatar tmarina
02:42 AM Liked: 0
#8 of 8
02-28-2004 | Posts: 126
Joined: Sep 2002
I agree that if you want to, you should invite her. It seems like it feels right in the context of your particular relationship. As a doula, I would be happy to receive the invitation. And as a current pregnant lady, my midwives are going to be at my blessingway next weekend.
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