Another Tearing Question for BTDT moms - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 02-28-2004, 04:49 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi all. Maybe someone here can guide me in the right direction.

I am 11 months pp. Had an unmedicated hospital birth, but I pushed before I was ready and wound up with a 3rd degree tear. I also did not prep my perineum in the last month of pregnancy. Ooops.

The bottom line is: sex is still uncomfortable. I want to enjoy it again. Short of going back to the gyno, what can I do to feel better?

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#2 of 6 Old 02-28-2004, 05:17 AM
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I had a 3rd degree epis with my daughter and sex still hurt at a year.

I tried various positions, more lube, even doing some perineal stretching periodically with dh.

Ultimately, (and I'm NOT saying this is the case for you - I was CUT and I think I did not heal well or was not repaired well) I had reconstructive surgery when my dd was 16 mos old.

Have you tried stretching? What about using Vit E oil?
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#3 of 6 Old 02-28-2004, 01:32 PM
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I only had a first degree tear, and dd is only 5 months, but sex is still uncomfortable. If the tear healed ok, it might be more due to the fact that you are nursing than the tear. Breastfeeding really dries thing up.

For us lots of lube, forplay, and different postions help.

Mom to ds 9 dd 7 : and dd 3/08 : if I can I go to
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#4 of 6 Old 02-28-2004, 04:24 PM
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I had an episiotomy (which I often refer to as the violation as it was done against my demands) which took a little over a year to completely heal. I agree that nursing can put a damper on things, too. Don't blame yourself. Prepping the perineal tissue is helpful for some/not for others. I don't think it has even been proven to make all that much difference. I have a friend who did some sort of estrogen cream which she raved about??? For me, it was the tincture of time and a really understanding dh.

On a happier note, w/my second birth, I pushed when I needed to--in the water---no tears!

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#5 of 6 Old 02-28-2004, 04:54 PM
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I only had a slight tear, and we had to use lube and go slowly for quite awhile. I can't remember if it was a whole year, but it was at least 8 months or so. And then we were using condoms, which have a lubrication to them. Of course, I also remember laughing at the 'no sex for 2 weeks rule.' 2 weeks - try 2 months! It took quite awhile for me to feel at all ready to even attempt sex.

My SIL had a horrible tear - basically the baby came flying out and actually came out of the pernieum, not her vaginal opening. Her dd is almost 1.5yp, and a few months ago she mentioned that it was still uncomfortable.
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#6 of 6 Old 02-28-2004, 11:58 PM
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Just a crazy thought-- try using EPO as a lubricant during sex. EPO helps relax and stretch tissues. We used this method when I was trying to get my baby out. It might just be coincidence but I didn't tear during birth except one tiny one that healed on its own. I have a bad episiotomy scar from my first birth and I think that all that use of EPO helped to make it stretch during childbirth. So it might help during sex too.

P.S. The tiny tear in my last birth was on the side, not anywher near my old scar, and was from baby's head coming out crooked.


7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
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