Not all high-risk obs are non-mother-friendly. I work as a doula with a group of high-risk obs whom I prefer to the local ob group. One of them is a radical feminist who just had twins herself and has been researching mother/baby conflicts of interest in the childbirth arena. One is a doctor from Holland who still bears the imprint of the medical system there. One other is a super-nice guy who seems to bond really well with the teen moms who get referred to him.
I find that when they actually have moms who are classified high-risk that they overreact less than the traditional OBs. If I were having twins in the hospital, I would want to use a provider who assists in twin births all of the time, not someone who is going to be panicking if something happens out of their comfort zone. That said, when I thought I was having twins, I was planning a home birth. If I needed to be at the hospital, it would be with the perinatologists, though.
As far as choosing a hospital based on NICU goes, I would try to find one with the best and most mother-friendly NICU. I have found as a doula who often works with high-risk moms that the hospital in my area with the biggest, best established NICU tends to treat babies in a more sophisticated manner, both producing better outcomes, but also not overtreating or keeping babies admitted longer than they need to be.
Stacia -- intrepid mama, midwife, and doula. Changing the world one 'zine at a time.