I just wish the rest of me (abs, rear, etc.) remained in the prebirth condition, ah, such is life.
I'm another one. 2 c/s- one after full dilation and hours of pushing, one after a scheduled due to medical need (we had planned for a VBAC at a birth center but I developed severe pre-eclampsia). Sex is def better now than before kids, but in my case I think it is being older, more comfortable with my husband and us just knowing each other better. I don't think the c/s specifically helped.
Having had multiple c/s, in two different marriages, and at different stages of our relationships, I know the sections have been detrimental. (If nothing else, the nerve damage screwed things up in a big way.)
I learn something new about the effects of c/s here (MDC) all the time. Even though I try not to fall into the trap of thinking my experiences are universal, I still do it a little, and it's good to be reminded that they're not.
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
after my first vaginal birth, things were about the same, once my minor tear healed.
after my second vaginal birth, once another minor tear healed, sex was astoundingly better, especially considering how orgasmic i was before my first birth. dh says that i don't feel much different to him, perhaps a bit tighter, but for me, whatever happened during that birth really changed things for me. i wonder what the difference is? i didn't expect that at all!
after my third vaginal birth, sex was the same as after my second birth-- amazingly good... and i didn't have to wait for any tears to heal!
"IF YOU ARE NOT OUTRAGED, THEN YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION."
I tore with ds also (about 2 years later), but let it heal naturally and things went back to "normal" for me.
Dh did say that after having kids, I have a spot (very small-think pin head) that he says "bites" him. He tells me it is a very sharp, direct pain and only effects him in some positions. Don't know what causes it, but we just have to be a bit more careful.
Overall, sex is better for us, but I think it has more to do with our partnership improving than any physical thing.
However in the long run I think the whole experience helped me lighten up and enjoy sex quite a bit, in a way I hadn't enjoyed it before.
My vagina being examined and poked and prodded repeatedly throughout pregnancy was just the start. Being on the table with feet up, private parts under a bright light does something to a person. Or me, anyway.
Then labor and delivery with strangers attending, allowing the L and D nurse to stick her fingers up my vagina periodically throughout the day, holding my knees up to my shoulders for everyone to see, I just had to get over my intense self-consciousness.
And to add humiliation on top of an already intensely self-conscious situation, there was the pooping while pushing that no one warned me about. That took a long time to recover from.
Regardless, this all led to better sex! I'd been forced to get comfortable with my sexuality and my reproductive system, I finally felt like a grown woman, and I was able to allow Dh 'in' in a way I hadn't before. There was a lot more to this metamorphosis than this, but suffice it to say, per the title of this thread, Yes, sex was better after birth than it was before birth.
Off to read the rest of the responses.
Someone moved my effing cheese.
I had two idyllic home births that left me feeling so empowered, strong and womanly and I couldn't wait to dtd with dh afterwards. I think we waited 10 days first time round and only 5 or 6 the second time around. Both times I had a small second degree tear that was left unstitched and healed naturally. The first time around it was uncomfortable to a small degree afterwards altho I still got a lot of pleasure out of it but the second time all the old scartissue tore open and healed much more quickly and better and I've had no pain there since about a week after her birth.
Jenna ~ mommy to Sophia Elise (1/06), Oliver Matthew (7/07) and Avery Michael (3/10)
Wading slowly and nervously into this homeschooling thing.
At first it got worse because my ex demanded things his way and was not open to changing the routine to include things that brought me pleasure too. He was also always very rough and I think that I wasn't quite as deep as I used to be or something because it hurt more and he just wouldn't understand that.
Now with a partner who is invested in my pleasure plus the confidence of maturity, it's the best ever!
(I had two vaginal births in my 20s and I'm mid-30s now.)
HOwever, my last birth was an emergency csec and it did have a negative effect on my pleasure. Well, it took a year before I was even willing to have sex (PTSD), and at first it was painful, actually in my scar, with penetration. I have been single for years now (so I haven't have sex with anyone else ) so I have no idea if that is different. I do know that with my self-induced pleasure I seem to have returned to my pre-csec abilities to have incredibly great O's when I want to. Besides physical healing, I think I've also healed emotionally in ways that have positively affected my sexuality. Perhaps one day I will have a partner again and will discover whether I've also healed from the pain in my scar that occurred during the early times after returning to intercourse a year after my csec...it could happen!
After the first, there was some tenderness for a while...I had several small tears requiring one or two stitches each. After that healed, things actually went downhill with my h as our marriage fell apart. With my next couple of partners, after he left me, things felt great, and I was more willing to try new things.
After birth two, I was almost completely anorgasmic for a year and a half. Damage from a weird birth? Emotional damage? A really terrible second marriage? All of the above?
After the third birth, orgasm was much harder to acheive, but so much more worth it! Sex still wasn't great with my husband, who became increasingly abusive, until I left him. With the couple of partners since, things have been freakin incredible. Orgasm is still harder to achieve than pre-babies, but much more powerful. I'm far more adventurous than before kids, which is partly to do with age, and partly because I now know that my vagina can do awesome things
FWIW, none of my partners have ever noticed a difference in my vagina, whether comparing before and after my first birth or before and after subsequent births, except in the immediate pp period.
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Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012) Married to awesome SAH DH.
Rachel , wifey to best friend Karl ,
SAHM to Kaelan (11) Chandra (9) Liam (7) Lachlan (5) Killian (4),Riordan (1), Baby Boy EDD 11/14. All born at home!
My theory is that "society" tells us sex will be worse after a vaginal birth. (in terms of both pleasure and frequency.) But at least for me, while babies aren't very good for sexual frequency , vaginal sex is both more comfortable and more pleasurable since I gave birth. (Once I was well healed, of course.)
Much better. Not only is my G-spot lower and gets better stimulation, my orgasms are longer, better, and easier to have.
I also feel sexier, even though I have some stretch marks, I feel more self-confident after having a child.
Oh, and I don't do Kegels much (ok, never,lol), so I Know I don't feel the same as before, but dh is fine with that, no complaints!
I feel envious of all you ladies!
Since the birth of DS (13 month old), DH and I..have yet to DTD. We've tried several times, and it has been incredibly painful for me. I had 3 degree tearing, and was stitched up, so I don't know if that's the cause or what. DTD was never really comfortable beforehand, and now it's just unbearable.
The experience of giving birth has gotten me thinking a lot more about the relationship between vaginal birth and vaginal intercourse. I'm a sex educator by profession (although mostly my work is about teaching healthy sexuality to college students).
My theory is that "society" tells us sex will be worse after a vaginal birth. (in terms of both pleasure and frequency.) But at least for me, while babies aren't very good for sexual frequency
, vaginal sex is both more comfortable and more pleasurable since I gave birth. (Once I was well healed, of course.)
I think it's really interesting if this is one more area where there's "good news" about women's bodies, women's relationships with their partners, and vaginal birth, yet all the media tells us is bad and scary news.
Are there others who would agree that for them, intercourse became more pleasurable after having given birth vaginally? Or am I the only one?
Yes, better, but I don't think that had anything to do with the births, except maybe in a bonding experience sort of way. I think it's more age (experience, maybe hormones too, increasing comfort and familiarity over the years, that sort of thing.) The births certainly didn't have a negative effect. This topic always makes me think of the theory that men are turned off (permanently) by seeing their babies born, some psychological thing. Definitely not true for my husband and me!
One birth so far, and yep, better. :) I still don't O during penetration, but it feels waaaay more enjoyable. Fingers crossed that number 2 rearranges the furniture a bit more.
WOHM to Leo (4/08) and enjoying the journey with DH
Announcing the arrival of Clara in August 2013!