Okay, aside from that being a heterocentric way to put it...
My philosophy is perhaps not "no vagina, no vote," but "no vagina, no veto."
Trust me, I discuss these things with DH like there is no tomorrow, and it's not like I (or very many women at all) would literally be that dismissive to our partners or not take their feelings, preferences and concerns into consideration. But when it comes down to it, even if we each get one vote for "half" of the baby, I get one for my own body and DH does not. Ultimately, that's 2 to 1, or at bare minimum, 51% to 49%.
IME, 90+% of the time, when women say "no vagina, no vote," they don't mean "I'm going to make my decisions in a vacuum and do whatever I want to do and [partner] can go to h3ll if he/she doesn't like it." They mean, "If push comes to shove and DP is not on board, no matter how much information I give, how much honey I drip on it, how much I am willing to concede or discuss or debate or handhold, and we are 100% completely at a standstill, then, yes, *I* get to make the decision."
"No vagina, no vote" might sound unnecessarily oppositional, but it is usually used as shorthand for "when push ABSOLUTELY comes to shove"-- and that's precisely because it's not unprecedented for women to say, "Well, I wanted X, and I felt really strongly about it, and it's the safest choice for us, and I did everything I could to explain this to DP and allay his/her fears, but ultimately he/she 'didn't agree,' so we had to go with Y." Where Y may be a "compromise" (at best), but it's not what the mom has decided is the best choice. So ultimately, we're left with the mom being "allowed" to have her preferences and the partner being able to veto. IMO? That's bull. When push absolutely comes to shove-- a circumstance certainly best avoided-- SOMEONE has to have the advantage. And you bet I believe that's the person carrying the baby(ies) and giving birth. I'd hate it to come to that, I think people should do their absolute best to avoid that scenario if they care at all about their relationship, etc., but if it comes to it, it comes to it.
DH's input, discussion, influence, absolutely. But flat out refusal will be met with, "I'm sorry you feel that way," in my household. And yes, I do feel that's how "it should be" as a rule. But shoulda woulda coulda-- I know I'm in the minority. Luckily for me, DH recently said, "Of course, it's my baby, of course I care-- but it's not just the baby, it's your body. I don't have to carry and birth that baby-- why should I get to dictate anything about pregnancy and birth? I trust your judgment and agree with you, but even if I didn't, I can't see any reason why *I* should be able to tell you what to do."
What really happens in most of these cases is that the "burden of proof" for NCB or HB or whatever falls on the mom, because it's not "mainstream," even if it's provably better. So even if she "proves her case," her DP's consent is considered necessary to move forward with this wacky/risky/questionable course. Like she's not considered to have really proven her case if her DP doesn't consent. Well, whatever. Lots of people don't believe the truth. That doesn't make it untrue.