A friend of mine who is also a doula has offered to assist me with the hospital birth of our third daughter. We have been freinds for 14 years and she has never mentioned wanting to be paid for her services but I want offer her something anyway. This will be my first birth with a doula so I have no clue what the going rate is for a doula's services.
Any advice would be muchly appreciated.
Since she offered to help you at the birth and you are such close friends I would assume that she is not charging you but for peace of mind I think you should double check. If you don't feel comfortable outright asking her if she's doing it for free or charging, maybe you could make a casual remark or joke about getting a discount for her services and see how she responds.
My friend, though not an official doula, attended my son's birth and I gave her a magazine subscription, a bottle of wine and a gift certificate for a massage as a thank you. I then qualified as a doula and attended her son's birth a couple months ago. I didn't charge her a penny but she got me a lovely hardback journal, a pair of argyle slipper-socks and 50 in cash. I think with friends a nice gift is the way to go.
Mum to Moo Moo (4) and EJ (2)
Wonderfull. I was considering the nice gift rather than the cash figuring that it would go over better and she would be less likely to refuse it. I think I will make up a nice gift basket for her and include a little something for her husband and kids as well. Finding nice gifts like that will be more fun anyway.
If I offered to go to a friend's birth, I wouldn't want to be paid. But I'd accept a gift, just like I would any other time.
Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...