Hypnobabies didn't work for me - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 44 Old 01-27-2011, 02:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
annablue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I feel kind of alone in that Hypnobabies didn't work for me. Even though I paid $300 for a live class, and practiced religiously, it was pretty much useless during labor. I was so confident in the program, and felt that everything would go smoothly and easily as long as I studied, thought positively, and believed in myself and "mind over matter" like Hypnobabies teaches. It worked during early labor but once things really started rolling, it was excruciatingly painful and none of the Hypnobabies tools or techniques helped me. I felt so sure that I would be able to relax and allow my body to work naturally, and during labor I tried everything the program teaches to help me do that, but it was ineffective.

 

I can't help but feel a bit confused, resentful, and even guilty, like it's my fault I didn't have the easy, comfortable birth Hypnobabies promises. What did I do wrong? Am I the only one who was unsuccessful with Hypnobabies?

annablue is offline  
#2 of 44 Old 01-27-2011, 04:26 PM
 
Monarchgrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 2,240
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

You're not alone. It didn't work for me, either. I did the home course and started at about 20 weeks! I was perfect at practicing and listening and even falling asleep to it every night. And I could barely even use it in early labor. It just didn't work for me. It helped me relax at the end of pregnancy, so that was nice, but as soon as the actual PAIN (not waves) started, nothing worked. There is no way that anything about my 27 hour labor could be described as pressure, easy, comfortable, etc and not painful. :( So, yeah...you're not alone. Luckily I only paid $115, though. I'm sorry it didn't work for you, either.

 

I also wanted to add that I broke the "rules" and also took a Birthing From Within class too. I still believed in the Hypnobabies premise, but my midwives sort of required first time moms to take a class and the BFW was the one that spoke the most to me. I also didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket. I'm so glad I took it, because while it didn't help with the pain, it was great to learn about position changes and practice moaning and vocalizing, which I did a LOT of in labor.


Beth- WOHM slinggirl.gif  -Madly in love with my Wife- SAHMhola.gifandbabyf.gifSophia, born 11/2/10, at home! homebirth.jpgExpressing love, one ounce at a time!  1pump.gif

Monarchgrrl is offline  
#3 of 44 Old 01-27-2011, 04:48 PM
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,674
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have never hypnobirthed but I imagine every birth is different. I had one easy birth and 2 very painful births. I imagine if I had hypnobirthed with my second I would have given credit to the program even though it was more likely due to baby position etc. Letting go of birth disappointment is so hard. I think almost everyone has something they would change about their births.

Dandelionkid is offline  
#4 of 44 Old 01-27-2011, 06:07 PM
 
Italiamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by annablue View Post
I can't help but feel a bit confused, resentful, and even guilty, like it's my fault I didn't have the easy, comfortable birth Hypnobabies promises. What did I do wrong? Am I the only one who was unsuccessful with Hypnobabies?


Honey, I think for the vast majority of women, in any culture, birth is anything but comfortable or easy.  It is hard, grueling, arduous work.  It's a great big test where you must walk through the fire before you get to be a mom!  There isn't any fault on your end that you experienced pain...  I know that people tout their pain free births, and while I believe that they absolutely do happen, I think they happen to a rare woman, and I think they happen due to no other reason than luck.  Being prepared is a great thing, trying to have tools to help stay relaxed and work with your labor is a great thing, but programs that make promises that are (in my mind) totally unrealistic, only set women up for failure.  The only thing that can be expected in birth is the unexpected.  It's what makes it such a miracle winky.gif

 

FWIW, I have 3 friends who've done hypnobabies.  All of them experienced way more pain than they were prepared for, and the two who were hospital birthers both ended up with an epidural.  I think they were sold the idea that pain is just a construct, that you allow it to happen, and I think that is some serious BS.  You did NOTHING wrong.  You had a baby, and it felt the same way that it's felt for billions of women since the dawn of time.

 

Try to see it through the lens that you made it.  YOU MADE IT!  To the other side!!  There is NO FAILURE in that!


Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

Italiamom is offline  
#5 of 44 Old 01-27-2011, 06:14 PM
 
Belia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Chicago-ish
Posts: 1,750
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Didn't work for me, either.  shrug.gif  But I didn't have much confidence in it, either.


Sleepy mama to Colin Theodore 8-12-08 and Trevor Arthur 7-17-12.

 

 

Belia is offline  
#6 of 44 Old 01-27-2011, 07:15 PM
 
mambera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,308
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Didn't work for me either (I think I used the other one though, the Hypnobirthing, which I later heard was not as good).  Anyway I found the same as you - was fine for relaxing through mild discomfort but once the real pain showed up it was about as much help as an umbrella in a tidal wave.


Me, DH, DD1 (5/2009) and DD2 (10/2011).
I'm not crunchy. I'm evidence-based.

Vaccines save lives.

mambera is offline  
#7 of 44 Old 01-28-2011, 08:45 AM
 
homemademom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,277
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Belia View Post

Didn't work for me, either.  shrug.gif  But I didn't have much confidence in it, either.


 

Yeah, I too the class (well, hypnobirthing) and I wasn't ever really sold on it. Perhaps that's because I'd already had one natural birth and while it was painful toward the end, it was totally manageable.  I've found that hypnobirthing/babies resonates with some people better than others. At this point, I'm really not interested in a pain free birth. I also think that hypno is pretty limiting in the kinds of tools it provides. So, you've got all these visualizations and affirmations, but what if they don't work?? Are you prepared with the numerous other measures to deal with pain (position change, counter pressure, water, is a doula present?, etc.)?  I found that "Birthing From Within" approach makes a lot more sense to me and the way my mind and body work.  I see birth as a marathon and a tremendous mental and physical challenge. I want to stay on top of the pain without feeling the pressure to eliminate it. Accepting that it's hard and been hard for women through the ages seems more "natural" to me.  At the same time, I have no doubts that for some receptive women, they are able to achieve a "hypnobirth." I just don't think it's the case for everyone.


I love homemade: cute skirts, apricot jam, and family! 
homemademom is offline  
#8 of 44 Old 01-28-2011, 09:18 AM
 
Jayray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 831
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Just wanted to add that it didn't "work" for me either.  Although I took another generic hippy childbirth class (which is against the HB rules). 

 

BUT I am really thankful for the positive outlook and relaxation during pregnancy that it gave me.  I really enjoyed listening to the tracks, even my husband did, and it helped me stay relaxed and positive.  Now with my second pregnancy (and a toddler) I don't really have time or motivation to use it again.

 

My midwives told me that they felt it was not very helpful for first time moms, but better for second, etc. moms.

Jayray is offline  
#9 of 44 Old 01-28-2011, 12:11 PM
 
Sudonk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 280
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm sorry your birth didn't go as you had hoped.  You most definitely did not do anything "wrong", nor do you have anything to feel guilty about.  Your birth is your birth and you have no reason to apologize for anyone about it. 

 

I can't tell you for certain what, if anything, could have been done differently to make your birth more comfortable.  If you want to contact me personally, I will be happy to go through it with you and see if we can figure it out.  You can also call Hypnobabies and talk to them about it.  They are always happy to talk to women about their birthing, no matter how you feel it went. 

 

It is important to remember that while many people take Hypnobabies in the hopes of having a pain-free birth, that is not the goal of the program.  It doesn't even discuss pain-free births as a goal (although many people learning it do).  It talks about being calm and relaxed so that you can have the safest, most comfortable birth possible by avoiding unnecessary pain.  For many women, that does result in completely comfortable births, but that is definitely not the case for everyone.  There are a huge number of variables in birth that can drastically change how a woman experiences it.  Some things, like badly malpositioned babies or anatomical anomalies in the mother can lead to abnormally difficult births and associated sensations.  Self-hypnosis does not and should not "mask" pain that is serving the purpose of identifying a problem, such as a rupturing uterus or a baby in a position that will not allow him or her to descend safely.  In some births, there can be issues that arise that go beyond the typical sensations of birth.  At those times, being able to remain as calm and focused as possible in order to make good, informed decisions is the main benefit from having self-hypnosis skills.   If the complications are identified and addressed, many women are able to regain their comfort despite the complications.  But if the problem is not identified, it is less likely that a woman will be able to regain her comfort unless the complication is rectified.  Any number of things could have been going on that made your birth experience what it was.  None of them include, "You did it wrong." 

 

It is also important to understand how the scripts are written and why they are worded the way they are.  They are not judgements, they are suggestions.  They are not saying that the birth as described in the scripts is the "right" kind of birth, and other births mean moms have "failed" or done something wrong.  There is a great deal of discussion in the scripts about "more easy and comfortable birthing".  That doesn't mean a completely comfortable birth is a guarantee, or that discomfort means someone is doing it "wrong".  The scripts are written to give the subconscious mind the suggestions of what the mom hopes to experience.  Will everyone experience that as a result of hearing the scripts?  No.  There are too many variables.  But many of them will, and the chance of experiencing comfort after doing a program like Hypnobabies is far greater than it is for those who haven't done the training.  In the absence of complicating factors, a manageable, comfortable birth is what most women will experience after completing the program.  And I know from my own experience, that even with complications some women will be able to give birth in comfort.  Just like a hypnosis for smoking CD would focus on the desired outcome of a person no longer craving or reaching for a cigarette, childbirth hypnosis programs are written to focus on the desired outcome of the birth.  The scripts are not "right" or "wrong", they are simply supplying the subconscious mind with the suggestions that moms want them to have in order to work toward the birth she hopes to have.  In some cases, staying calm and being able to think clearly is what she gains most from the program.  In others it is the sleep and confidence going into the birth that is most helpful for her.  

 

I have no doubt that there are reasons that you had the experience you did.  I don't know if you'll find out what those reasons are or not, but as I said, I would be happy to discuss it with you and help you see if you can determine any factors that contributed to how it went.

Mosaic and avalonbirth like this.
Sudonk is offline  
#10 of 44 Old 01-28-2011, 12:28 PM
 
cileag's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 603
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm an OB nurse and in my experience there are women that gravitate towards a "hypnotic" state when birthing, regardless of preparation or not.  I think that people who do are more inclined to be attracted to those programs as well and so I think that it's slightly self selecting.  And so for those people, it's really just smoothing over and practicing their instinctual way of birthing (going into yourself, relatively silent etc).  I really kind of wish I was one of those people, but I'm not and I'm ok with that.  I used some vocalization, some counting, some screaming (at the very end) and it worked for me.  I really think you shouldn't beat yourself up about it---so you're not a hypnobirther, oh well.  It's always a little painful when our realities don't 100% match our dreams.  But you are a woman who BIRTHED.   And I read your birth story and it sounds like it was a TOUGH birth.  Posterior babe, transfers---that is so hard both physically and emotionally.  Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your "perfect" birth and if you're still having a tough time, it's ok to need to talk to a professional to work some of it out.  Labor and birth and new mama hood are rough on the mind and the body and it's ok to ask for help processing.


Mama to P. born at home 10/09, and W. born in the hospital 2/13

cileag is offline  
#11 of 44 Old 01-28-2011, 12:52 PM
 
Smokering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

I'm sorry; that sucks. I'm planning on doing Hypnobabies with this birth, but I'm definitely having other tools in my arsenal as well (water birth, hot wheatie bags, positioning/vocalisation tricks, and I'm even open to nitrous oxide if it comes down to it). I've never heard that this is "anti-" Hypnobabies, nor that taking any other childbirth class is; isn't that more of a Hypnobirthing philosophy? To me it just makes sense to get as many helpful tools as possible, given that Hypnobabies is very clear that not all women experience a pain-free birth, and the pain will need to be dealt with in some fashion (which could include just enduring it, but I'm not big on that!). :p

 

You don't think that its effect during early labour made it "worth it" at all? I found my early labour pretty unpleasant, and if I'd been able to get a few hours of rest instead of pacing up and down feeling icky, it would have really helped. I think I'd probably do the course even if I knew it'd only work for the mild pain; I figure anything is better than nothing, you know? But yeah, I probably would be rather disappointed if it didn't work at all during heavier labour.


If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

Smokering is online now  
#12 of 44 Old 01-28-2011, 01:02 PM
 
MegBoz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 2,125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post

Honey, I think for the vast majority of women, in any culture, birth is anything but comfortable or easy.  It is hard, grueling, arduous work.  It's a great big test where you must walk through the fire before you get to be a mom!  There isn't any fault on your end that you experienced pain..

Great post.

 

Just a thought OP, how do you know it "did not work"? By that I mean, is it possible birth would have been much MORE grueling & painful if you hadn't done it at all? Maybe it did convey some degree of benefit. Just a thought...


Plus, I haven't taken hypnobabies, but I thought it also taught a lot about "the facts" (i.e. what physiological birth is all about & why the medicalized, American view  of birth leads to worse outcomes for mothers & babies.) So hopefully the education you got in the class helped you make wise decisions (i.e. chose good HCPs who practice evidence-based medicine, maybe some education on BFing? I don't know.)

 

IOW, perhaps it was not an utter waste.

 

I also think it's a shame that you feel you "failed" because your birth wasn't pain-free. I HATE that hypno-birthing teaches that every single woman can have a pain-free birth if she just "Does it right" (well, and so long as there are no physiological problems such as malpositioning.) That is utterly ridiculous! Sure, possible, but possible for EVERYONE if you just "do it right"? Nonsense! I thought Hypnobabies did a better job of helping you work towards pain-free birth, without making you feel as if it is a guarantee if only you do it right (and, therefore, if you feel pain, it is your fault.)

MegBoz is offline  
#13 of 44 Old 01-28-2011, 01:36 PM
 
AZgirl2207's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 289
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Every birth is so very very different.  I used HypnoBabies with my last two babies.  (my first was a natural hospital birth, sunny side up, 4 hours of pushing)

 

2nd Baby   My Son's birth--it was amazing!  I wasn't even sure that I was really in labor until I stood up  from the tub and announced that I was ready to push.  DS was out in three tiny pushes.  HypnoBabies totally 'worked' in the sense that I felt pressure, not pain, I was totally relaxed and mellow. 

 

3rd baby  My Daughter's birth---I was so into HypnoBabies, I was sure it would work for me again.  Not so much.  I knew I was in labor, it hurt, I moaned and yelled.  Pushing was tough, I broke blood vessels in my face, it was really really hard work. 

 

I think I practiced the same amount both pregnancies, so I don't know what went awry the second time.  Birth is unpredictable.  I think HypnoBabies has many many positive aspects--even if you aren't able to reach the nirvana of a pain free birth. 

AZgirl2207 is offline  
#14 of 44 Old 01-28-2011, 01:46 PM
 
mama_y_sol's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 896
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I did the home study hypnobabies course as well.  Did it every single day.  Worked wonderfully during pregnancy. I was convinced I would have a short, relaxed labor.  

 

Yeah, it worked okay for the first 12 hours of early labor.  It was a 54 hour labor.  I found that it made the contractions even more painful.  It was useless. It failed me.  It had me convinced that I would have a short pain-free labor.  I really believed it.  I felt fooled.  I felt tricked.  

 

I was sad to throw the whole thing out the window and do things that actually worked- walking, moaning, tub, breathing, kissing, visualizing, etc.  All that hynobabies taught- minus the creation of the special place, was useless during labor.  Unfortunately, because I was so convinced it would work, I failed to prepare much in any other way.  I failed to think about the what ifs- what if I have a very long, slow, painful labor?  When that happened, I was shocked.  I was unprepared for it.  

 

Umbrella with a tsunami.  Yes, totally in my case.  It totally didn't work for me, and I would never do it again.  


mama tocoolshine.gif  andbikenew.gif3rdtri.gifdue in November

 

mama_y_sol is offline  
#15 of 44 Old 01-29-2011, 12:02 AM
 
Italiamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

There is a quote from the actress Isabella Rossellini, where she is talking about being a mother.  I wish, wish, I could find the exact, long quote.  But she does go on to say that, "Mine is a body that has lived...," and that she is very okay with that.   Don't apologize for your birth, don't feel bad for it (at least, don't feel at fault for it).  It's okay to seek help to deal with the emotions of a hard, traumatic birth.  But I hope I can reaffirm here what I said before, and what other posters have said...  That you didn't do anything wrong, and that you didn't fail.

 

YOURS is a body that has truly lived, and there is NO shame in that.


Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

Italiamom is offline  
#16 of 44 Old 01-29-2011, 06:25 PM
 
Onkiekat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: .GA
Posts: 30
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I just want to clarify: Hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies are two different things. I don't know much about the hypnobirthing, b/c I took the hypnobabies class. I have heard that hypnobabies is much more informative, but like I said, I only took the hypnobabies.

 

First I want to say, I did not have a pain free birth. It hurt SO BAD...lol. However, I feel that the class was very beneficial for many reasons. First, it really taught me a lot I didn't know about labor, the way hospitals work, my body, and my baby. It also taught my husband. :) I knew he wouldn't read anything to prepare for the birth, and I knew I would need his support, and needed him to know how to support me. At first I wanted to take the bradley classes, but I did not have the time to commit to 12 weeks for a class(and I knew DH wouldn't go to 12 classes, either, it was hard enough to get him to come to 6!). DH learned so much through this class, and I could not have had my homebirth without him(seriously, he knew exactly what to do and what I needed).

 

Second, if I had not taken this class, I would have never decided to have a homebirth. I really saw, through this class, just how hard it would be to have a natural birth without too many interventions at my hospital with my doctors. Not that it can't be done, but I really don't think I would have stood a chance with my drs. (I had a 43 hour labor, and am sure I would have ended up with a c-section in the hospital, or at the very least pitocin and an episiotomy) My instructor pointed out that it is never too late to change care providers, until you have the baby. I switched to my homebirth midwife at 33 weeks.

 

Third- I really learned how to relax. And even though I didn't even attempt to do the scripts after the first day of labor, I played the relaxing music the entire time the second day I was in labor. Knowing how to relax (especially in between contractions) really helped me to get through it. And practicing the scripts before the birth really helped me to relax on a daily basis, which is something I needed. I was wayyyy too busy the last few months of my pregnancy.

 

If you are taking the hypnobabies class, just know it might not be pain free, and that is ok. OP, don't feel guilty. It was a success! I will admit, I wish it had been pain free, but I really feel like I grew through the experience, and I will do it all again, Lord willing :)


Katienak.gif-Christian wife to Nickjog.gif - Mom to Ellieenergy.gif(5/10) and Zekebabyboy.gif (4/12)
  h20homebirth.gif- cd.giffemalesling.GIF - saynovax.gif-nocirc.gif-wash.gif

Onkiekat is offline  
#17 of 44 Old 01-31-2011, 09:51 AM
 
soso-lynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,263
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I don't like the idea of hypno-birthing (hypnobabies, hypnobirthing, hypno-whatever). Birth is painful, that's just a fact. I find it much easier to deal with the pain when it is named as such and recognized as a non-dangerous form of pain. The whole idea of a pain-free childbirth is closely related to how the OB profession has been using the promise of reduced pain to attract women to birth in hospitals. In my opinion, the only way to have a chance at a pleasurable birthing experience is to embrace the pain.

gcgirl likes this.

Single mom to E (2004) and D (2010)
soso-lynn is offline  
#18 of 44 Old 02-01-2011, 10:50 AM
 
MegBoz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 2,125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama_y_sol View Post

I was sad to throw the whole thing out the window and do things that actually worked- walking, moaning, tub, breathing, kissing, visualizing, etc.  All that hynobabies taught- minus the creation of the special place, was useless during labor. 


Whoa! Am I understanding this statement correctly... Hypnobabies does NOT advocate things like walking, moaning, & a bath tub as effective measures for coping with normal labor pain (and effective means of helping labor progress)? REALLY?! Does it really teach that you should only lay still, in a silent, quiet, non-moving hypnotic state??? I didn't think that was the case. Wow, if that is the case, I rescind everything positive I've ever said about it & I feel bad having recommended it. That's crazy!

MegBoz is offline  
#19 of 44 Old 02-01-2011, 12:33 PM
 
Smokering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

 

Quote:
Does it really teach that you should only lay still, in a silent, quiet, non-moving hypnotic state???

AFAIK, Hypnobirthing only has one "position", in which the woman goes limp and has to be in a fully supported position (ie, lying on a bed, unless her partner is willing to hold her up in a supported squat for several hours!). Hypnobabies also has a "limp" position, but it's not the only one; it also teaches a type of hypnosis in which the woman is free to move, moan, talk and so on. So it's fully compatible with other kinds of pain-relieving techniques, including water birth.

 

I haven't actually studied either technique (yet - planning to start Hypnobabies in a week or two!), but this is what I've gathered from many internet discussions. If I'm wrong, someone correct me! It was one of the reasons I chose Hypnobabies over Hypnobirthing; no way I want to lie on a bed all through labour!

Babydoll1285 likes this.

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

Smokering is online now  
#20 of 44 Old 02-01-2011, 12:42 PM
 
Babydoll1285's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 102
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by MegBoz View Post

Whoa! Am I understanding this statement correctly... Hypnobabies does NOT advocate things like walking, moaning, & a bath tub as effective measures for coping with normal labor pain (and effective means of helping labor progress)? REALLY?! Does it really teach that you should only lay still, in a silent, quiet, non-moving hypnotic state??? I didn't think that was the case. Wow, if that is the case, I rescind everything positive I've ever said about it & I feel bad having recommended it. That's crazy!



Hypnobabies absolutely does NOT teach you you must lay still and quiet and all that...it gives you the tools to use hypnosis and STILL do all the good stuff.  With my Hypnobabies birth I didn't sit down or lay down the entire time.  It just didn't feel right to me.  I had to be up and moving and talking, from beginning to end.

 

I'm a hypnodoula now and I like to tell my clients that hypnobabies hypnosis works on two levels.  One, you're working to condition your brain to accept birth as normal and enjoyable (NOT pain free). And two, you're learning a new deep relaxation that you practicing everyday.  Even if the conditioning part doesn't work exactly as you had hoped, the mere fact that you took the time to learn a new kind of relaxation and practiced every day during your pregnancy has the potential to make your birth more enjoyable.  The program also covers the same sort of information presented in other in depth birthing classes like nutrition, exercise, birth options, possible complications or change of plans, ideas for being active during your birth, etc.  

 

OP, I'm so sorry that the program didn't work as you had intended.  Have you told your hypnobabies instructor how you feel?


Loving mama to ds C (6/07) and dd N (11/08). Joyously welcomed our rainbow1284.gif, dd2 A (8/11).

Babydoll1285 is offline  
#21 of 44 Old 02-01-2011, 12:48 PM
 
Mosaic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: La vida loca
Posts: 4,005
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MegBoz View Post

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama_y_sol View Post

I was sad to throw the whole thing out the window and do things that actually worked- walking, moaning, tub, breathing, kissing, visualizing, etc.  All that hynobabies taught- minus the creation of the special place, was useless during labor. 


Whoa! Am I understanding this statement correctly... Hypnobabies does NOT advocate things like walking, moaning, & a bath tub as effective measures for coping with normal labor pain (and effective means of helping labor progress)? REALLY?! Does it really teach that you should only lay still, in a silent, quiet, non-moving hypnotic state???

No, that's not true at all. Hypnobabies teaches "eyes open hypnosis" so that you CAN move, talk, joke, etc. during your birthing.

My first birth experience was totally opposite of what mama_y_sol experienced, except that it was also a long birth. Due to the baby's position, I had hours of back labor and very, veeery slow progress (i.e., 4 hours to get from 7 to 8 cm). Not once during the birthing did I lay in a fully supported position.... for the back labor, I was on hands and knees pretty much for a day and a half.

And oddly enough, I didn't use my special place at all, but I did use everything else in my hypnobabies toolbox and had a fantastic, awesome, albeit exhausting birth.

ETA: the reason I posted was to clear up the confusion about hypnobabies and movement, but also to make it clear that hypnobabies doesn't just "work" for "easy" births. There are lots of women with challenging births who love hypnobabies and some women with textbook perfect births who didn't get the hypnobabies experience they wanted, I'm sure.

Mi vida loca: full-time WOHM, frugalista, foodie wannabe, 10+ years of TCOYF 

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T spells BRAND NEW User Agreement!!

Mosaic is offline  
#22 of 44 Old 02-01-2011, 02:42 PM
 
gina8177's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 13
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I took Hypnobabies and I did not have a pain free childbirth.  However I did not feel that the goal of taking the course is a pain free birth.  I found that the course provide lots of different tools that you can use in combination with your hypnosis tools, like positioning, belly lift, etc.  It definitely does not teach you to just lie there and do nothing.  :)  To me Hypnobabies is about educating woman about pregnancy and childbirth to empower them about the choices they can make, to teach them how to relax and to provide tools to ensure that you view your birthing process positively in a time when so many negative birth messages are portrayed.  

 

I had 55 hours of excruciating back labor before I transferred to hospital for an epi and oxy, at that point I knew that the pros of intervention were outweighing the cons of remaining home after 55 hours with almost no sleep and no dilation (due to poor fetal positioning, back injury and short rise).  For me Hypnobabies allowed me to take the time to make rational decisions during a challenging time and to know exactly what the pros and cons of those actions were.  Throughout the whole process I never lost control and was able to remain positive (although I did cry a bit when I agreed to transfer).

 

I did not get the home birth that I was hoping for but I know that if I did not have the knowledge and tools from my class that I would have ended up having a cesarean versus a successful vaginal birth. 

 

It did take me some time to come to peace with my birth and I found that talking with other people really helped the process.  I found my hypnobabies instructor very helpful for this.  She also said something I will never forget - we may not always get the birth we want but we always get the birth we need.  I look at the changes in my life that resulted from my labor that I never would have made if I had a much easier labor and I would not change anything.  :)

gina8177 is offline  
#23 of 44 Old 02-01-2011, 11:14 PM
 
sunnysummerdays's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 4
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm so sad to see how many people seem to have misunderstood what Hypnobabies is all about.  I'm not very familiar with Hypnobirthing but my understanding is that it differs greatly from Hypnobabies. Hypnobabies is designed to create an "easier, more comfortable birthing time". It never promises a pain free birth. 

 

The goal of the course is to reprogram your brain to view childbirth as a natural normal part of life and that it does not have to be the painful negative, screaming purple faced pushing, drugged up experience women like to talk about and media likes to portray.  Some women experience discomfort free births as a result of using the program and that's so wonderful for them! As part of the course they like to talk about and show those pain free births to help affirm that child birth is natural and normal and safe and that it is possible to be pleasant. It never is presented that your birth is going to be exactly that way.  Its all about surrounding yourself with positivity. My favorite quote from the program is "what you dwell upon most shall indeed come to pass."

 

I just had my first baby in Sept. and I personally had a wonderful experience using Hypnobabies. I can see how if one misunderstands what the program is all about how terrifying it would be and how disappointed one would feel if they experience discomfort.  Its unfortunate that the program was presented that way or that it was misunderstood by the student. 

 

In my class we spent a lot of time talking about making sure we were practicing at home getting up and walking around and talking while in hypnosis and covered many different positions to make the birth easier and more enjoyable.  We also talked about that its totally acceptable to be as vocal as you'd like! I was very active in my birthing time walking and talking and moving around and laughing and joking with my husband right up until a few minutes before my baby came out. I was also very vocal using loud "Ahhhhhs" and "Oohhhhs" through my pressure waves.  The feelings I experienced were very intense- but sensational and I can't wait to do it all again. It provided me with the tools I needed to remain calm and collected and I felt totally in control at all times.

 

I'd like to add that it is not possible to take another child birth course in addition to Hypnobabies. First of all, Hypnobabies covers everything other classes cover so there is no need. Even if you were to decide not to use the hypnosis (but why would you?) you would have all the skills you would learn in the other classes. The course educates you and provides you with all the tools you need to make educated and informed decisions no matter what your personal scenario may be. It also provides you with a "Change of plans" script in the unlikely event your birth does not go as planned. Second of all, it is important to be 100% dedicated to the program for it to be effective.

 

My husband was not totally sold on Hypnobabies in the beginning. Even right up to the birth I could tell he had some resistance even though he loved the whole process and bonding time he and the baby and I got to have.  After the birth of our son, my husband is 100% a huge fan of Hypnobabies.  He tells everyone he can about the class and birth and recommends the class to everyone we talk to, even people who are not expecting!

 

I think that no matter what your birth experience, in the end we end we have these teeny tiny bundles of joy in our arms and that's all that really matters. And I'm sad that people have the wrong idea about the Hypnobabies course because it is such an amazing beautiful process and made me have a peaceful, happy, stress free pregnancy.

 

sunnysummerdays is offline  
#24 of 44 Old 02-02-2011, 05:51 AM
 
llevine17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm sorry things did not go as you expected and please know you did nothing wrong. I can identify with your feelings, my first Hypnobabies birth was 19 hours of back labor and it was tough. In my case, I feel like Hypnobabies was completely responsible for helping me deliver a high, posterior baby vaginally, so I give it a lot of credit. I honestly feel like I would have ended up with a C-section had I not used Hypnobabies, instead I got a drug-free (though not pain-free) vaginal delivery -- even though the birth was longer and harder than I had hoped. I also realized that I had kind of hoped for a hard birth. I know that doesn't make sense, but I heard over and over from doubtful people "well maybe that hypnosis stuff will work with an easy birth, but not if you have a tough birth...." so in the back of my mind, I wanted a challenging birth and I got it.  With my second I focused on having a perfectly positioned baby and ended-up with a 2 hour labor and about 15 minutes of discomfort, so I feel my expectations really played out in both my births.

 

I don't think you should feel guilty because you didn't have a "pain-free" birth -- that's really not what Hypnobabies is about. I know there are women out there who do get those pain-free births and their stories are incredible, but really the goal of Hypnobabies is to help you have as normal and uncomplicated labor and birth as possible in your particular case.  Nothing, not even drugs (many people still have pain with epidurals) can promise you a pain-free birth.

 

I’m studying to become a Hypnobabies instructor and I do think this expectation is one thing we have to balance. As I have learned more about hypnosis I understand more about the role of expectation and why it is important to believe that childbirth does not have to be an excruciating experience, but depending on how things go (in may case intense back labor) pain or discomfort may exist in your labor and that’s normal and OK. I understand feeling lost and caught off guard if you didn’t expect that. I vocalized, got in the shower and moved around a lot during my first labor – none of that conflicts with Hypnobabies. Upon retrospect I realized I did not use my “light switch” or partner cues at all during this labor – I think that would have probably helped me. You may look back and realize you could have done things differently or you may not -- it sounds like were well-prepared and did your best. In either case I would contact your instructor and talk to her about your feelings. I know I would want to hear from one of my students if she was uncomfortable with her birth experience.

llevine17 is offline  
#25 of 44 Old 02-02-2011, 08:28 AM
 
Acacia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 66
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 A few things really stick out to me about this post.

 

1.) It seems that there is still quite a bit of confusion about the differences between Hypnobabies and Hypnobirthing

2.) I have seen a few say that it didn't work for them yet they were never open to it working in the first place

3.) I have seen a few take other childbirth classes in addition to the Hypnobabies class even though it specifically states NOT to do so!

4.) There are misconceptions about what the program actually teaches.

 

I think it's important as informed consumers to research and know our facts a bit before speaking about them on open forums. I know it is easy to just write about something you have heard from someone else or to give advice based on opinion rather than factual information, but typically speaking most women on these forums are full of knowledge and educate themselves on options religiously. It kinda makes me sad that the same effort hasn't been shown in this thread.

 

First let me say that I am a believer in the Hypnobabies program and used it for my third birth and had wonderful results. It was an intense labor, but I never thought my birth would be pain-free...only agreed with the suggestions given in the tracks that I would have a comfortable birth. I went into the program with a willingness to learn the techniques fully, to practice daily, and to avoid other classes. Hypnobabies does not teach a stationary method as has been stated before. During our Birthing Time class we practiced being in open eyes hypnosis and moving around to various stations about the room. I knew how to continue my hypnosis while on a birth ball, while standing, laying down, while someone was massaging my back or applying counter pressure etc. I still had all of the tools that other classes promote as coping techniques as well as the added benefit of being completely relaxed. I was taught a few different techniques with Hypnobabies and was able to choose what worked best for me as labor started. I felt that that the finger drop as well as the peace cue were what helped me in my birth hypnosis the most. Others I have spoken to have said the secret place was what the gravitated to.

 

I was NEVER sold on anything pertaining to a pain free birth...not once. I was taught to re align my birth philosophies with those pertaining to normal birth and to relish in those thoughts rather than the stories of pain and agony and horrid experiences that were being consistently thrown in my face by others around me.

 

Hypnobabies opened my eyes to a new way of birthing my baby in peace. Intense as it was, I still knew that everything was normal, that my body was working properly and that I was well equipped to spot when something wasn't going right. It taught me to be more in tune with my body and my baby and to not rely so much on traditional methods.

 

Hypnobabies may not be for everyone, but for me I received a quality childbirth education with a multitude of tools to use as well as learning the art of self hypnosis. Some may not have the same results and do every single thing the "correct" way, but overall I believe their success rate is quite high for comfortable births in comparison to other methods and even in comparison to Hypnobirthing. I also want to mention that the Home study course is meant for those without actual class options in their areas. You get SO much more from the class situation than  you would from the home study course. That comes straight from the Hypnobabies site as well.

 

To the OP. I am very sorry that your birthing experience wasn't all you believed it would be. It truly breaks my heart to hear of women being saddened by their experience. My hope for you is that your able to come to a place that in light of how your birth journey went, you will be able to find certain parts of it that were beautiful and pleasing to you. I'm sure your baby is a beautiful representation of you and the courageous qualities you have earned in becoming a mother!

Acacia is offline  
#26 of 44 Old 02-02-2011, 08:35 AM
 
Veritaserum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,291
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hugs to the OP. hug2.gif  I agree with everyone else.  You have no reason to feel like a failure!  Giving birth is a Big Deal, no matter how it happens.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by llevine17 View Post
I don't think you should feel guilty because you didn't have a "pain-free" birth -- that's really not what Hypnobabies is about. I know there are women out there who do get those pain-free births and their stories are incredible, but really the goal of Hypnobabies is to help you have as normal and uncomplicated labor and birth as possible in your particular case.  Nothing, not even drugs (many people still have pain with epidurals) can promise you a pain-free birth.

 

I agree.  While hypnosis does increase the odds of a woman experiencing a pain-free birth, it is not a guarantee (nothing is!).  I've given birth four times using hypnosis (after a non-hypnosis epidural birth with my first).  One of those births was painfree during labor. I felt some stinging/burning as the baby was coming out with her hand beside her head.  Two of them were comfortable labors. I wasn't in agony, but the sensations were not the most pleasant.  The last few waves before pushing crept into the "ok, I'm really ready to be done with this" category. winky.gif  One of the labors was excruciatingly painful no matter what I did because the circumstances of that birth made comfort and impossibility (physical complications outside of my control).

 

So, my perspective is that Hypnobabies gave me tools (hypnosis, vocalization, fetal positioning, water, massage, movement, position changes, etc.) that increased my chances of reducing the pain of childbirth.  BUT, every birth is different.  My painful non-epidural birth was the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. I wanted to die.  I am, however, still enormously grateful that I had my hypnosis training.  It allowed me to stay calm and focused and to work to create the best birth possible under the specific circumstances I was facing.  So, it "didn't work" in terms of pain relief, but it did work in terms of minimizing the trauma of what was happening by keeping me calm and focused.  Short of being knocked out, I don't think there was anything that could have taken all the pain away.

 

What I'm trying to say is that I hope no woman judges her birth experiences based on external parameters of what makes a "good" birth. I know that I did the very best I could with the births I had given the circumstances of each one. I'm sorry you are disappointed with how your birth went.  You have every right to feel those feelings.  I hope that, with time, you will find peace and healing as you realize just how amazing you really were!  Please be gentle with yourself. hug2.gif


Homeschooling Mom of 5 dds reading.gif

Planning my fifth natural birth using Hypnobabies for baby boy coming in June 2012! nocirc.gif

Veritaserum is offline  
#27 of 44 Old 02-02-2011, 08:53 AM
 
Mosaic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: La vida loca
Posts: 4,005
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I realized after rereading my post that I really didn't express what I wanted to say well at all. duh.gif

What I meant by that rambling up there is that some tools will work for you, and some tools won't, some births are "easier" and some are harder,and our experience boils down to a combination of our expectations, the physical realities, and how we feel about all of the above. I hope that when evaluating whether Hypnobabies (or any other birth preparation) "works", we can look at the whole picture and see if we found it helpful, or to consider if our birth experience was enhanced or in any way better with the knowledge we gained from the course, or if we would have been better off not having any preparation at all. Births seldom go as we expect them to, so I think it's ok to feel disappointed or confused when things don't turn out the way we envisioned.

Also, I realized after I posted that you JUST had your gorgeous DD; so I read your birth story and I think you did AWESOME, OP! It sounds like there were some real challenges there, and you listened to your body and made some changes to your plan to get your beautiful baby girl. Recognizing when you need a change and acting on that need are two things that can be very, VERY difficult! I hope that you're able to see what an amazing job you did, regardless of how you feel about your birth preparations. hug.gif
Acacia likes this.

Mi vida loca: full-time WOHM, frugalista, foodie wannabe, 10+ years of TCOYF 

 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T spells BRAND NEW User Agreement!!

Mosaic is offline  
#28 of 44 Old 02-02-2011, 11:27 AM
 
llevine17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

annablue, I just read your birth story. You did such a great job of listening to your body and made wonderful decisions about accepting interventions when they were beneficial. Sometimes in our enthusiasm for natural childbirth we set an expectation that doesn't really serve us well, but remember there is no failure in birth -- no one does it better than anyone else. There is no one way to give birth that is best, all the time for everybody; there is only the right way for you in your situation. In my view the goal of natural childbirth is to keep a normal labor as normal as possible by leaving it alone as much as possible. When a normal situation changes, you adapt to those changes and accept the interventions you may not have thought you wanted, because now they are helpful to you; you adapt to the changing situation, which is just what you did.

 

I think it's hard in the fog of the first few newborn weeks, your body is flush with hormones and you are balancing the excitement of a newborn, along with the overwhelming realities of taking care of another, helpless person -- it often hits you like a ton of bricks. Be gentle with your self. You did a wonderful job.

llevine17 is offline  
#29 of 44 Old 02-03-2011, 08:44 AM
 
Jayray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 831
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Acacia, most women on this form give advice based on their own experiences.  I read and fully understand what Hypnobabies was professing.  I also understood that they recommended not taking any other childbirth classes in order for it to "work."  I made my own decision based on my own knowledge and intuition to take another course.  You are free to believe that I sabotaged myself by doing this, but I don't think it excludes me from commenting on my personal experience.

Jayray is offline  
#30 of 44 Old 02-03-2011, 01:29 PM
 
mama_y_sol's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 896
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mosaic View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MegBoz View Post

 

Quote:


Whoa! Am I understanding this statement correctly... Hypnobabies does NOT advocate things like walking, moaning, & a bath tub as effective measures for coping with normal labor pain (and effective means of helping labor progress)? REALLY?! Does it really teach that you should only lay still, in a silent, quiet, non-moving hypnotic state???



No, that's not true at all. Hypnobabies teaches "eyes open hypnosis" so that you CAN move, talk, joke, etc. during your birthing.My first birth experience was totally opposite of what mama_y_sol experienced, except that it was also a long birth. Due to the baby's position, I had hours of back labor and very, veeery slow progress (i.e., 4 hours to get from 7 to 8 cm). Not once during the birthing did I lay in a fully supported position.... for the back labor, I was on hands and knees pretty much for a day and a half. And oddly enough, I didn't use my special place at all, but I did use everything else in my hypnobabies toolbox and had a fantastic, awesome, albeit exhausting birth. ETA: the reason I posted was to clear up the confusion about hypnobabies and movement, but also to make it clear that hypnobabies doesn't just "work" for "easy" births. There are lots of women with challenging births who love hypnobabies and some women with textbook perfect births who didn't get the hypnobabies experience they wanted, I'm sure.


No, you are absolutely right, Mosaic.  I don't think I was very clear in the quote above.  Hypnobabies never encourages you to lay there passively, I'm sorry for giving that impression.  

 

What would happen to me was this:  I would cue myself, be super relaxed feeling great, and suddenly would "be" mid-contraction and be totally lost.  I tried over and over and over with the hypnosis technique in many different places and positions in my house- in the yard outside, in the shower, on all fours, etc and I instead of relaxing would struggle intensely mid contraction and be squirming in pain.  I found it much easier to NOT cue myself and just do breathing and other things that YES hypnobabies does encourage, but these things are not exclusively taught by hypnobabies- and I view them as more universal birthing techniques.  

 

I didn't take any other courses when I did hypnobabies with my second child.  For my first child, I took a general childbirth class.  I don't know why I struggled with the hypnosis part during labor and birth.  I'm not sure what I did wrong.  I felt like I would snap out and be stuck in the middle of a contraction struggling.  But no, nothing about hypnobabies encourages a passive hypnosis, absolutely not.  I'm sorry I wasn't clear.  


mama tocoolshine.gif  andbikenew.gif3rdtri.gifdue in November

 

mama_y_sol is offline  
Reply

Tags
Hypnobabies

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off