Anyone Co-Sleep with Toddler and Having Hospital Birth? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 05:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just curious what you will do when the time comes to go into labor.  DS only sleeps with me.  We used to nurse to sleep but now have transitioned into just snuggling to sleep in our bed (he has his own but hardly ever is in it, LOL).  If he is tired enough he will go to my husband but usually ends up asking for me again.  Anyway, I keep wondering what we will do if I go into labor at night.  I do need my husband with me (obviously) so I need to have a conversation with my husband and my mom about what we will do in that event.  After I give birth, I think hubby would have to make a trip home and stay the night with DS and my mom stay with me?  

 

I don't know...obviously this needs to be discussed b/w hubby and I, LOL.  Just curious what others are doing if you have an attached DC like myself.


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#2 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 06:48 AM
 
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Our son (similar in age to yours - he will be 3 at end of April) recently shocked us...we went out for a Christmas party and Dh's parents came to watch the kids.  We fully expected to get home at 11 and find the littler guy awake and watching cartoons or something...our thinking is it's one night, if he loses out on sleep, it won't kill him - we just want to keep him happy! :P  But when we got home, he was asleep between his grandparents in the spare room.  Then we very much expected him to wake up during the night and come into our bed...but he didn't.  They came to babysit again last weekend and the same thing happened.  Mostly I am happy about this, but man I missed him those nights ;)

 

On the other hand, we worried about this with DS1 with home birth as well - my MIL came over and we told her to just watch TV with him in the basement while I laboured upstairs.  As we expected, he finally nodded off for a few hours...but he did wake up in the middle of the night as baby was being born (it would be interesting to know if this wouldn't have happened if the house was quiet!).  This was easy at home but might have been kinda messy for poor DS1 if we hadn't been in the house when he woke up.

 

Anyway, all this is just to say that is it possible to just do a trial run, maybe have your mom sleep over and you guys go out and see a movie or something, and see what happens?  Does your DS still wake at night, or sleep through?  DS2 just started sleeping through a few months ago, I think this played well into him being able to settle with his grandparents and then stay with them all night. 

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#3 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 07:11 AM
 
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When our 2nd DS was born, our first was co-sleeping and he did just lovely sleeping with Grandma while I was in the hospital.  Is he already happy to spend time with your mom?  I agree on the trial run but if that is not possible, if he is already happy when he spends time with your mom then perhaps the excitement of it all when the time comes will make it a success.  My mom brought DS to the hospital each day and that was a big adventure that played into making the whole experience amazing for him (more to do with the bus from the parking lot to the hospital, the play room, and the little golf cart that he got to ride around the hospital) :)  He still talks about spending that time with Grandma even though it was 2.5 years ago....


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#4 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 07:58 AM
 
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We''ve been transitioning DS to sleep with Dh and so far its been going really well, though right now if I come into the room (even when he's in a dead sleep) he will crawl over Dh and sleep in between us.

 

I had one overnight scare (though water had broken) and DS slept with my sister. She said he just stared at her, told her where to pat and went to sleep.

 

I will say I don't think either of these would work if we hadn't night weaned.


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#5 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 11:07 AM
 
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My son also sleeps with us and he nurses a lot at night.  I will need to go in to the birth center a bit early because I am GBS+ and will need to get antibiotics in labor, so I've worried about this, too.  My mom will be around at the time, and she has a good track record of getting babies to sleep with her.  I don't know exactly how she does it, but she is just very calm, and she pats their back and it works.  I don't know if it will work with my son, but at least I know he'll be in a calm environment.  I do worry about if I end up needing to stay longer in the birth center (if we don't get there in time for enough antibiotics, they want to watch new baby for 48 hours).  I wonder if my son can come sleep next to me in the hospital bed.  We'll see...I am concerned, though.


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#6 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 11:21 AM
 
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The night I went into labor my ds coslept with his Grandma.  His sister was born at 6pm the next evening and both my son and daddy slept with us in the hospital, on a cot next to me and the babe.  He had never spend a night without dh and I and apparently woke up quite upset in the middle of the night looking for us, but Grandma was able to get him settled.  He hadn't nursed in 9 months by that point and we were at the cuddle to sleep phase too.


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#7 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 11:28 AM
 
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I was concerned about this both times and both my dd's had no issues having having just their dad at bedtime. He'll surprise you and be fine.
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#8 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 03:02 PM
 
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My DD slept with me until she was about 3 and would nurse before bed... she nursed during the night until 2.5. 

 

Although I did not have a baby she did stay at my mom's house at least once or twice for a night during this time and did great!  I cannot remember if it was before she night weaned but I really think one of the nights was and we talked about it ahead of time.  She totally shocked us and loved sleeping with my mom (they have always been really close) and she did great.  

 

You could do a trial run for a late evening or night away or at least talk about that it might happen and what he can do if he wakes up and it is grandma or DH and not you there etc.  I think some preparation ahead of time with maybe a plan for something special (dinner or desert or a special breakfast or something like that) that he could look forward to would help as well.

 


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#9 of 11 Old 02-04-2011, 03:39 PM
 
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DD will be 3 in March; I'm expecting a baby in June. Honestly, I'm a little nervous about it...

 

She has her own bed, right next to ours. Usually she'll start off nursing with me, and as soon as she unlatches (which I sometimes prompt her to do) and rolls over, DH will "transplant" her to her own bed. For a while she'd sleep right through until 5 or 6, then come into our bed for more milks and sleep, which was fine with me. Recently she seems to have regressed, though - she'll wake up crying at 1-2AM and come into our bed, where she'll spend the rest of the night. I suppose we could try to transplant her again, but DH is asleep by then and I'm not supposed to lift her, so!

 

We still have 4-5 months to go, so I'm hoping she'll be that much more mature and independent by then. We tried her overnight at my parents' place recently, sleeping in a big bed between my two little sisters, but it didn't work - she was getting pretty upset, and talking to her on the phone didn't comfort her, so we decided to bring her home before she got too traumatised. It's possible she'd be better with Mum sleeping with her in our bed, though... maybe?

 

The other option is to bring her along to the birthing centre, and just make a "nest" in the corner for her to sleep in if she got tired. She's pretty easygoing about where she sleeps as long as we're around, so that might work (assuming I'm not bellowing, but I was pretty restrained last time). A home birth would make it easier, except that we have a (male) flatmate who I think would be horrified at the idea of me giving birth while he was in the house! (He said the other day "You know, I just realised you might go into labour while I'm here" - I said "So?" and he said "It's scary! What if [DH] isn't here?" Heh. I told him it was unlikely, as DH works from home...)


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#10 of 11 Old 02-05-2011, 08:48 AM
 
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DD was 3 and 9 months with DD #2 was born. I ended up with a c-section and was in the hospital for 4 days. DD #1 co slept with DH just fine and now DH is her buddy : )


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#11 of 11 Old 02-05-2011, 11:24 AM
 
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I wouldn't worry about it. DS hasn't spent the night at grandmas yet, but we're planning on letting him for valentines day so we can go out and stay out late. He spends half the night in his own room without help going to sleep, but then he comes in our room around 5-6am to sleep with us. Your kiddo will probably surprise you and sleep with your mom just fine if you want DH there with you instead. 


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