This is real weird for me because I feel like I've been on both sides of this.
I've been very quiet about it, but I've had 2 unplanned pregancies 3 or 4 years ago. The first I found out about when I m/c (which I talk about) and the second came three months later and we decided no to have the baby(which I generally don't). The OB I was seeing at the time was doing a lot of infertility work, and even said to me when I came in with the second pregnancy "Oh you fertile woman you" For the record I was on birth control at the time. My sister doesn't ovulate, and has known this since her early 20s-she's facing heavy duty if treatments. I knew at the time several friends who had lost children late in pregnancy or at birth. I didn't exactly feel guilty but I did feel frustrated- I wanted so much to be able to give away my pregnancy- not to have the baby and give it up, I wasn't strong enough, but to give away the pregnancy.
Imagine my shock a few years later when after resolving some health problems I didn't get pregnant right away or after 6 months, or after a year, or after having everything checked out, and charting and timing sex carefully, and putting those hips up, and taking fertility teas, and etc. I felt let down and confused and guilty, and angry.
During the period when we were trying a close friend got pregnant, with her a$$hole boyfriend, and was incredibly devastated. She had believed she would never have an abortion, but was clearly unready to have a child on her own, and the boyfriend was never going to be any help. I told her I'd be their either way, and went with her to get her tests, etc done. So In the middle of my own infertility I got the best reminder in the world that fertility when you don't want it is no more blessing than not being able to have a child when you don't want to.
So it's sad to me that we can't somehow reallocate all this, and it's sadder still to see how easily women on either end of the fertility spectrum get stereotyped or vilified.