How Important is walking around during labor? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 86 Old 02-13-2011, 06:14 AM
 
sosurreal09's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Also want to add a lot of hospitals by me have birthing balls and the like, but still do not want people to go in there "demanding" things like natural birth and "fighting" with people to get what you need. They also "support" natural birth, yet when I was still going there for prenatal care and I brought up to another Dr how I am not going to have any drugs period she laughed and said "that doesn't happen in real life" I was out of there fast!


 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

sosurreal09 is offline  
#62 of 86 Old 02-13-2011, 10:18 AM
 
Mrs. MAT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 15
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I will second the thought that when you are in active labor you will probably not be  in a condition to assert yourself about anything!  This is where you rely on your partner and previous communications with the staff.  If you are not all on the same page, the birth plan can fall apart really quickly.   Ideally, you are giving birth in a place that will respect your wishes.  If there is any uncertainty about how things will be handled, a doula can help prevent things from happening that you don't want because she takes a bit of the panic out of the situation and is used to trying to really communicate with the mom instead of pushing her to do whatever is hospital policy.  

Mrs. MAT is offline  
#63 of 86 Old 02-13-2011, 12:00 PM
 
SGVaughn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I can definitely second or third the sentiment that you may need an advocate for yourself

 

my husband was so worried about me being in pain with my last an so worn out himself that he forgot all of my wishes and I wound up with a nurse coaching purple pushing in my face...I really really really hate directed pushing. Its actually the ONLY thing I'm completely and utterly opposed to in all circumstances, that and grabbing me behind my knees..if I want my legs up I can hold em myself thank you. Because I hate it so much and my husband dropped the ball on it and let it go on for a couple of contractions I wound up grabbing the nurse by the wrist (because she was holding my leg) and told her if she touched or spoke to me again I'd have her arrested for assault and battery. Truthfully...I'm ashamed of how I reacted and should not of spoken to her that way, nobody really deserves that. If someone could've been there to support me in that regard it could have been avoided all together.

Because you sound a bit green I think everyone's suggestion of a doula is really excellent advice for you no matter where you choose to give birth. Most doulas are very good at remaining neutral with their own beliefs in regards to you birth and can help you get your wishes and needs met.

SGVaughn is offline  
#64 of 86 Old 02-13-2011, 03:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

The more I read about unassisted and homebirths, the sweeter the idea of "not making it to the hospital" becomes. I do fear, like some of these websites seem to say, that my fears of what will come AFTER may disturb my focus. I've been reading a lot of mothers doing homebirthing don't even feel pain, and that it's possible the stress from the hospital setting plays a huge role in that. Perhaps my focus should be more on finding a midwife and doing a homebirth... but I fear my fiance's parents would stress me out by saying constantly that "This isn't safe, you need to go to a hospital!" and that would still be stressful, :/ Any of you have experiences of giving birth while living with your in-laws? Did they make it difficult? 

 

My mother-in-law is VERY into doctors being involved. And I wouldn't want her ruining my focus. I'm not even considering unassisted, honestly, at least not for the first time around. I think my fiance fears the possibility of complications FAR too much.

EchoSoul is offline  
#65 of 86 Old 02-13-2011, 05:13 PM
 
Italiamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 2,439
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EchoSoul View Post

The more I read about unassisted and homebirths, the sweeter the idea of "not making it to the hospital" becomes. I do fear, like some of these websites seem to say, that my fears of what will come AFTER may disturb my focus. I've been reading a lot of mothers doing homebirthing don't even feel pain, and that it's possible the stress from the hospital setting plays a huge role in that. Perhaps my focus should be more on finding a midwife and doing a homebirth... but I fear my fiance's parents would stress me out by saying constantly that "This isn't safe, you need to go to a hospital!" and that would still be stressful, :/ Any of you have experiences of giving birth while living with your in-laws? Did they make it difficult? 

 

My mother-in-law is VERY into doctors being involved. And I wouldn't want her ruining my focus. I'm not even considering unassisted, honestly, at least not for the first time around. I think my fiance fears the possibility of complications FAR too much.


My husband's family was very unsupportive about our choice to have our son out of a hospital.  And you know what, it was the BEST decision we made for our son to ignore them.  It is HARD to stand your ground with in-laws.  But standing up for what YOU feel is best for YOUR child is part of being a mom.  Step in to that role!  Seize it!  Being a mama bear can be so scary, so frustrating, but I've always regretted the parenting decisions I compromised on.  On the flip-side, I never regret the decisions where I went with what was in my heart and held my ground.

 

I know that for a lot of very private mamas here, unassisted births are what are best for them.  Me?  I would have been lost without my midwife.  I am so glad she was there!  Having witnessed so many births, when I thought that my body was tearing itself apart, I knew I could trust her when she reminded me that my body was doing just what it should.  She has become a very dear friend to me, and her presence at my son's birth is still a decision that I'm thrilled with.  She will most likely be there for the birth of our next child, and I am so pleased with that fact.

 

A really great option for you, depending on where you live, might be a freestanding birth center.  This is NOT the same as a hospital "birth center." When my son was born, I wanted a homebirth, but I did NOT want one in my home at the time.  It was a noisy little apartment, and I HATED it there.  The birth center offered me a home away from home I guess.  Wood floors, a big four poster bed, a GIANT tub to labor and birth in, plenty of acreage and quiet.  It was perfect for me, and it was run by midwives only, no connections to a hospital.  Just staffed by women who only do natural birth.  For you, it would keep your in-laws out of your birthing space.

 

If that's not an option, I know that some mamas choose to hire a doula to run interference with in-laws.  Some mamas will go to a comfy hotel to give birth (unlimited hot water!!).  Some mamas will go to the homes of others to have their babies (I know that there are MDC mamas who have offered up there homes for this purpose).  I would post in your tribal area and see what you can find out about those options.  But if having an out of hospital birth is what you want for your child, and for your birth, then make it happen!


Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

Italiamom is offline  
#66 of 86 Old 02-13-2011, 06:53 PM
 
anechka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 83
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 VERY IMPORTANT! I labored in the hospital for total of three hours and I walked all the time. I only sat down when I wanted to eat (I brought my food) and I ate when the nurse was out of the room. They put me on constant monitoring but the cords were long enough  to allow me to walk back and forth. That was enough to get my labor going. They did not allow me to walk across the hall but honestly when you are in hard labor you are not gonna walk more then few feet at a time anyway. The room had a plenty of space to walk. My advice to you is not to get obsessed with your birthing plan; but simply do what feels right WITHOUT announcing that to the medical staff. Remember that your doctor will come to your room very rarely andt he  nurses will be in and out. And you can ask your nurse to not to stay with you entire time. When my labor started I asked her to leave the room: she hooked me up to the monitor and left. The next time I saw her when I was in hard labor 30 minutes away from delivery. I was screaming very loud and she called a doctor who checked me and said I was almost fully dialated. The nurse hesitantly asked me about epidural but after I was checked by the doctor, that idea was discarded. So, during those three hours I saw my doctor twice and my nurse also twice. They pretty much left me to my own devices which was great! Only my husband was in the room with me and no one else. After I had my baby the nurse told me that I was the second woman in her prof. career (she was in her 30s) who did not get an epidural.

And last point, I wanted to mention. Try to delay your visit to the hospital. Ideally you want to get there when you are already in labor; if you get there eralier you are at risk of all kinds of interventions. I came to the hospital 10 hours after my water broke; I started having slight contractions when I got to the hospital and three hours later I had my baby the most natural way you can have in the hospital.

anechka is offline  
#67 of 86 Old 02-13-2011, 07:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EchoSoul View Post

The more I read about unassisted and homebirths, the sweeter the idea of "not making it to the hospital" becomes. I do fear, like some of these websites seem to say, that my fears of what will come AFTER may disturb my focus. I've been reading a lot of mothers doing homebirthing don't even feel pain, and that it's possible the stress from the hospital setting plays a huge role in that. Perhaps my focus should be more on finding a midwife and doing a homebirth... but I fear my fiance's parents would stress me out by saying constantly that "This isn't safe, you need to go to a hospital!" and that would still be stressful, :/ Any of you have experiences of giving birth while living with your in-laws? Did they make it difficult? 

 

My mother-in-law is VERY into doctors being involved. And I wouldn't want her ruining my focus. I'm not even considering unassisted, honestly, at least not for the first time around. I think my fiance fears the possibility of complications FAR too much.


My husband's family was very unsupportive about our choice to have our son out of a hospital.  And you know what, it was the BEST decision we made for our son to ignore them.  It is HARD to stand your ground with in-laws.  But standing up for what YOU feel is best for YOUR child is part of being a mom.  Step in to that role!  Seize it!  Being a mama bear can be so scary, so frustrating, but I've always regretted the parenting decisions I compromised on.  On the flip-side, I never regret the decisions where I went with what was in my heart and held my ground.

 

I know that for a lot of very private mamas here, unassisted births are what are best for them.  Me?  I would have been lost without my midwife.  I am so glad she was there!  Having witnessed so many births, when I thought that my body was tearing itself apart, I knew I could trust her when she reminded me that my body was doing just what it should.  She has become a very dear friend to me, and her presence at my son's birth is still a decision that I'm thrilled with.  She will most likely be there for the birth of our next child, and I am so pleased with that fact.

 

A really great option for you, depending on where you live, might be a freestanding birth center.  This is NOT the same as a hospital "birth center." When my son was born, I wanted a homebirth, but I did NOT want one in my home at the time.  It was a noisy little apartment, and I HATED it there.  The birth center offered me a home away from home I guess.  Wood floors, a big four poster bed, a GIANT tub to labor and birth in, plenty of acreage and quiet.  It was perfect for me, and it was run by midwives only, no connections to a hospital.  Just staffed by women who only do natural birth.  For you, it would keep your in-laws out of your birthing space.

 

If that's not an option, I know that some mamas choose to hire a doula to run interference with in-laws.  Some mamas will go to a comfy hotel to give birth (unlimited hot water!!).  Some mamas will go to the homes of others to have their babies (I know that there are MDC mamas who have offered up there homes for this purpose).  I would post in your tribal area and see what you can find out about those options.  But if having an out of hospital birth is what you want for your child, and for your birth, then make it happen!

I feel so guilty because I've gotten so many great ideas from everyone here and haven't made a step. I'm just so undecided on what I want to do! I haven't had the chance to really sit back and think about it all. Maybe I'll take a bath tonight, baths are perfect times for me to think :) What's so perplexing is earlier on in the pregnancy, the in-laws jokingly(but still seemed serious) said that they didn't care, I could have the baby leaning up against one of the many trees out back. But then a few days ago we were discussing how my parents are going to drive over when we tell them I'm in labor, and how I've been reading up on ways to tell when it's true labor, so we don't have any "false" episodes where my parents just have to turn right back. And my mother-in-law said, "Well, once she goes into labor, we're going to the hospital", and my fiance told her that we were going to wait it out as long as possible until I knew it was true, and she argued heavily against him. So now it seems they're completely against the possibility of anything happening here. Which leaves me just as stuck, because there's many reasons I don't want to give birth here, and her making it stressful is only one of the many reasons.

EchoSoul is offline  
#68 of 86 Old 02-13-2011, 07:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by anechka View Post

 VERY IMPORTANT! I labored in the hospital for total of three hours and I walked all the time. I only sat down when I wanted to eat (I brought my food) and I ate when the nurse was out of the room. They put me on constant monitoring but the cords were long enough  to allow me to walk back and forth. That was enough to get my labor going. They did not allow me to walk across the hall but honestly when you are in hard labor you are not gonna walk more then few feet at a time anyway. The room had a plenty of space to walk. My advice to you is not to get obsessed with your birthing plan; but simply do what feels right WITHOUT announcing that to the medical staff. Remember that your doctor will come to your room very rarely andt he  nurses will be in and out. And you can ask your nurse to not to stay with you entire time. When my labor started I asked her to leave the room: she hooked me up to the monitor and left. The next time I saw her when I was in hard labor 30 minutes away from delivery. I was screaming very loud and she called a doctor who checked me and said I was almost fully dialated. The nurse hesitantly asked me about epidural but after I was checked by the doctor, that idea was discarded. So, during those three hours I saw my doctor twice and my nurse also twice. They pretty much left me to my own devices which was great! Only my husband was in the room with me and no one else. After I had my baby the nurse told me that I was the second woman in her prof. career (she was in her 30s) who did not get an epidural.

And last point, I wanted to mention. Try to delay your visit to the hospital. Ideally you want to get there when you are already in labor; if you get there eralier you are at risk of all kinds of interventions. I came to the hospital 10 hours after my water broke; I started having slight contractions when I got to the hospital and three hours later I had my baby the most natural way you can have in the hospital.

Yup..I read that key note somewhere here not too long ago. Not to announce what you'll do. Which is fine, I don't think my OB will remember the questions I asked, nor think I came up with them specifically, and instead got a general list offline somewhere.

 

Awesomely enough, we have no other option BUT to labor at home for as long as possible. My parents are driving over from NY when they hear I'm in labor, and I absolutely cannot risk the chance that "Oops! Sorry mom and dad, it's false!" and they'd have to turn right back around again. I can't do that to them, so laboring here for as long as possible is already set in stone, :)
 

EchoSoul is offline  
#69 of 86 Old 02-14-2011, 08:22 AM
 
zenmumajen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 149
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Hi EchoSoul! I read in the beginning of this post that you have medicaid you would like to have a midwife but need insurance to cover it. Jeannie Phillpots takes medicaid and is located in Flushing. She is who my fiance and I switched to at 30 weeks because I was like you, and my OB just didn't want me to have the freedom to birth the way that I wanted to. Jeannie is a CNM and only does hospital births at Mclaren Hospital in Flint. So this shouldn't be too far from you if you are in Otisville (I read your post about needing a doula in Flint). She was so wonderful and sweet, and I am so glad that we switched. Her contact info is all here: http://www.mclarenregional.org/body.cfm?xyzpdqabc=0&id=32&action=detail&ref=1682

I know you are possibly considering a homebirth (which she won't do) but this is also another option for you that medicaid would cover. 

GoBecGo likes this.

 Doula mom to Leo [7.11.10] and fiance to Jakefamilybed1.gif

zenmumajen is offline  
#70 of 86 Old 03-03-2011, 12:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sorry for not getting back to you, zenmumajen. Things have been so chaotic! I think I've decided to birth at a birthing center instead, though. What happened during my appointment yesterday really put me off to hospital births, and how much giving birth in a hospital would make me fearful.

 

I thought I'd update everyone here - because you've been so helpful with advice. My appointment yesterday left my fiance and I flabbergasted and frustrated. I was given another ultrasound, based on a disagreement between us and the OB on the due date. We feel it is later, but he is going by the due date given during the first ultrasound. He told us that I either give birth by that date, or I would be induced. And if we were not comfortable with that, we would have to find someone else. Let me explain... we've been arguing about the due date, because of course, as a doctor, he is going by the date on the ultrasound as evidence, and not our genuine instincts as parents. Nevermind the fact that the due date the ultrasound gives does NOT make our baby at 40 weeks, because we didn't have sex earlier on enough for that to be the case. The date on the first ultrasound is March 17th. That said... yesterday before that appointment I had another ultrasound done. This ultrasound put the due date as March 28th, which is exactly 37 weeks, to the exact day, of the date of conception we're going by. ..Still, to him, it means nothing. He is not swinging from March 17th, and stated that very clearly. Now the one thing my fiance, I, and the OB could all agree on was that the later into the pregnancy the ultrasound is done, the less accurate it becomes. ...The first ultrasound I had was taken during the 2nd trimester, and according to what I've read, 2nd trimester ultrasounds can be off as much as 2 weeks, and increase to 3 weeks for ultrasounds done during the 3rd trimester. The most accurate ultrasounds are done during the first trimester. I essentially went through half of my first trimester not realizing I was pregnant, and spent the other half getting set up with Medicaid, so I didn't have a chance to get that much-desired ultrasound during the first trimester.

 

What date is 2 weeks after the 17th? the 31st. Just THREE days after the due date given by my ultrasound yesterday! We told him how March 17th went against every fiber of our being as being accurate, that it felt so totally and incomprehensibly wrong, still... and he told us straight, he can't take our instincts as the kind of "black and white" truth that the ultrasound gives because plainly, it could cause him his job. We told him that we were MUCH more comfortable with the due date of March 28th, and he again talked about how statistically, ultrasounds done later in pregnancy are much less accurate. But that first ultrasound, no matter who you go by - us, or the doctor, was done during the 2nd trimester, which means statistically, it's still off. Also, don't doctors typically give you 1-2 weeks from the date of the ultrasound(assuming the ultrasound dates it at 40 weeks)? So, my appointment next wednesday we are going to ask him, point-blank, WHY he wants to induce on the 17th if I don't go into labor before then. I had sugar in my urine, ONCE, that hasn't showed up since, and I passed the Glucose Screening Test with flying colors. I drank fruit juice that morning. This last ultrasound my AFI was low(truthfully, that morning and the day before that I hadn't drank much water - don't know why I didn't the day before, but I didn't drink much water in the morning because my bladder was ready to burst, and I thought they'd need my bladder full for the second ultrasound, just like they did with the first one. So even though I really really wanted my water, I didn't drink much, afraid I'd have an accident), so my appointment next week they're giving me another ultrasound to check the fluid levels. I really don't think I have oligohydramnios, and that it was just bad timing, because I haven't been leaking fluids, and no one's mentioned anything wrong with the placenta.

 

I spoke with one of the OB nurses for the birthing center close-by that I contacted. I told her the disagreement and how concerned we were, even though I knew he couldn't legally induce me. She asked if there was any medical reason, besides it being the first due date, that he wanted to induce by that date - preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, diabetes...nope, nope, nope. I didn't mention the low AFI, she didn't list it, so I didn't think of it because I was so anxious to see what could be done. And she mentioned that, unless there was a medical reason to give birth by that date, they were flexible with waiting. So she set me up with an appointment on Friday. I feel SO much better today than I did yesterday, because I wasn't sure if we'd have any other alternative options outside of the hospital that we could afford. I'd love to do an Unassisted Birth at some point, but my fiance and I are hesitant on doing it for our first child - since his major fear is hemmorhaging. Obviously my fear now is induction, even though I know that's MY choice, and I'd never go for artificial induction, unless there was a problem that warranted it. Still, I do not like being essentially told, "It's the 17th, or you need to find someone else." :/

EchoSoul is offline  
#71 of 86 Old 03-03-2011, 01:35 PM
 
Tumble Bumbles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Oh my word. Thank God or whatever or whomever you believe in that this OB is showing his true colors BEFORE the birth and run as fast as you can to that birthing center. Ultrasounds are notoriously inaccurate for dating -- they have I believe a 12 day +/- margin of error in both directions for accuracy for dating (and in reality, that margin can be larger. The 12 days is what they admit to lol). Besides, even if the "good" (ha!) doctor was correct, I went 42weeks 5 days with my first (and I was pretty sure of conception date) and she was perfectly healthy (home birth). Seriously, this guys is dangerous to you and your baby in my humble opinion. If he doesn't pressure you into all kinds of unnecessary crap, he's going to stress you to the point of being unhealthy for you and your babe.

 

I was totally prepared to go unassisted for our first had we not found another midwife (our first midwife was VERY medicalized, an OB in midwife's clothing lol). We're going unassisted this time. Hemorrhaging, while happens, is very rare in an environment where the mama is safe, warm, and where her labor, birth, and especially third stage is not rushed or managed. I can understand your concerns though and I think the birthing center sounds like a MUCH better alternative than this OB.

 

Thanks for the update, keep us posted!


Christ-centered loving wife & mama to 2 miracles! One & one . We live simply and mindfully. Expecting another blessing Feb 2015
Tumble Bumbles is offline  
#72 of 86 Old 03-03-2011, 01:58 PM
 
babymommy2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 406
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I haven't read the responses yet, but do you think he meant it endangers the mother becasue walking is dangerous (which it certainly isn't, that is complete nonsense!) or that it endangers the mother because you can't be on a continuous monitor, which really is not necessary unless you are having a particulariy high risk birth, or if you have an epidural you will be on the monitor the whole time. I've given birth in 2 differnt hospitals, a total of 3 times, I walked, it was never discouraged. I've taught prenantl classes for a several years, I don't know any prenatal instructor who would say something so crazy or know an Ob who would say that either. It is truely odd! walking in labor is very good! it is a distraction in early labor, to helps the baby to turn, it will make your labor go quicker. Like I siad before I cannot see why it would not be encouraged, unless you had to be monitored constantly, or had a prolapsed cord or some emergency like that, in which case you;d have a c/s immediately anyways. In teh hosptials I am familiar with, they don't use continuous monitoring,just intermittent, for an uncomplicated delivery with no epidural.

babymommy2 is offline  
#73 of 86 Old 03-03-2011, 02:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumble Bumbles View Post

Oh my word. Thank God or whatever or whomever you believe in that this OB is showing his true colors BEFORE the birth and run as fast as you can to that birthing center. Ultrasounds are notoriously inaccurate for dating -- they have I believe a 12 day +/- margin of error in both directions for accuracy for dating (and in reality, that margin can be larger. The 12 days is what they admit to lol). Besides, even if the "good" (ha!) doctor was correct, I went 42weeks 5 days with my first (and I was pretty sure of conception date) and she was perfectly healthy (home birth). Seriously, this guys is dangerous to you and your baby in my humble opinion. If he doesn't pressure you into all kinds of unnecessary crap, he's going to stress you to the point of being unhealthy for you and your babe.

 

I was totally prepared to go unassisted for our first had we not found another midwife (our first midwife was VERY medicalized, an OB in midwife's clothing lol). We're going unassisted this time. Hemorrhaging, while happens, is very rare in an environment where the mama is safe, warm, and where her labor, birth, and especially third stage is not rushed or managed. I can understand your concerns though and I think the birthing center sounds like a MUCH better alternative than this OB.

 

Thanks for the update, keep us posted!


I'm hoping his reasoning for wanting to induce on the 17th if I don't go into labor by then is strictly based on the low AFI level. But I've had no decreased fetal movement, nor am I leaking fluids. But then again, somewhere in the back of my conscience I feel we were leading up to this, regardless of the AFI level, because this isn't the first time we've talked to him about our misgivings for the March 17th due date. Our last appointment we talked to him about it, and he said the same exact things that he said yesterday; the ultrasound is his "science", it's his "only proof", he's sorry but where we think I conceived just doesn't add up to what his "science" proves, and I'm measuring at where he thinks I should be this far along. But I also know a woman who's pregnant for the first time can measure bigger than average because it's her first pregnancy. I'm not denying the possibility our son *could* come around the 17th of his own free will, but I haven't experienced any pre-cursors to true labor; no decreased fetal movement, no loss of plug, etc etc... I *think* I had minor, irregular contractions last night after sex, that I can only describe as pressure waves, but I have no reason at all to believe that the 17th is, or should be "the day". According to my calculations, if our earliest date of conception is correct, March 17th he'll only be 35 weeks old, and while able to survive outside the womb, I'm not willing to push his entrance into the world sooner than he would like. I understand our OB fears being sued if something should happen if I go "over due"(and yes he did throw the "dead baby" card), but surely our instincts and the pure fact that we didn't have sex early enough FOR our baby to be 40 weeks on the 17th should count for something! But apparently not. As he put it, the ultrasound is "black and white", like the Bible, he equated it to. We cannot prove the date of conception is as we say it is, but the ultrasound can "prove" the due date is what it says it is based on our boy's measurements.

 

I know many complications are due to medical intervention, and that home-birth is not as inherently dangerous as it's made out to be - but the fact remains I wouldn't want to give birth here. This place is too stressful on a day-to-day basis(fiance's mom possibly developing dementia), and I think my fiance's fears would inhibit his ability to react quickly and efficiently if something should go slightly wrong. He doesn't seem to have a problem with a home-birth in successive pregnancies, but is real uncomfortable with a home-birth for the first time. 

 

I will certainly keep everyone updated. :) I appreciate all the genuine concern of the moms and moms-to-be here. Besides, who else would I rant to? My fiance's mom agrees with our OB based on the date we told her I was pregnant, which, upon reviewing the possible dates of conception with my fiance after the appointment yesterday, is not accurate enough. And my parents, while real interested in all this stuff, I can only rant to so much. :)

EchoSoul is offline  
#74 of 86 Old 03-03-2011, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by babymommy2 View Post

I haven't read the responses yet, but do you think he meant it endangers the mother becasue walking is dangerous (which it certainly isn't, that is complete nonsense!) or that it endangers the mother because you can't be on a continuous monitor, which really is not necessary unless you are having a particulariy high risk birth, or if you have an epidural you will be on the monitor the whole time. I've given birth in 2 differnt hospitals, a total of 3 times, I walked, it was never discouraged. I've taught prenantl classes for a several years, I don't know any prenatal instructor who would say something so crazy or know an Ob who would say that either. It is truely odd! walking in labor is very good! it is a distraction in early labor, to helps the baby to turn, it will make your labor go quicker. Like I siad before I cannot see why it would not be encouraged, unless you had to be monitored constantly, or had a prolapsed cord or some emergency like that, in which case you;d have a c/s immediately anyways. In teh hosptials I am familiar with, they don't use continuous monitoring,just intermittent, for an uncomplicated delivery with no epidural.


My best guess? I think he said it, referring either to an innate fear, or just regular hospital protocol that if a laboring women suddenly experiences a particularly hard contraction, she could take a fall and hurt herself and/or the baby. We covered, in previous responses to this thread, that it's possible he may have meant not to walk the halls, and that walking around the delivery room was fine. Plus, apparently the way the hospital runs I would be(iiiiiiif they had their way, that is) on Fetal Monitoring the entire time, regardless whether it was high-risk or not :/ Anyway, it's not looking like I'll be giving birth there, anyway.

 

EchoSoul is offline  
#75 of 86 Old 03-03-2011, 05:55 PM
 
Smokering's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,610
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

No advice, just wanting to give you a virtual hug for the stress of this situation! It must be very frustrating to feel trapped by so much unreasonableness!


If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

Smokering is offline  
#76 of 86 Old 03-03-2011, 06:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post

No advice, just wanting to give you a virtual hug for the stress of this situation! It must be very frustrating to feel trapped by so much unreasonableness!

Thanks, :) It's much appreciated. It really is frustrating - especially to find this out now, and be left with so little time. Though, thank goodness, it seems to be working out.

EchoSoul is offline  
#77 of 86 Old 03-04-2011, 07:04 AM
 
FoxintheSnow's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: nak
Posts: 5,976
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At this point, he can't really tell you to go find another OB. He has to keep you as a patient. In most states, if not all an OB has to give a patient 30 days notice to drop them and seeing as it's march 4 and you are due at the end of march, that's not possible. You can switch on your own accord but he can't drop you. Have you check the Michigan tribe on mdc? Maybe they can help find you another provider. It can be tricky since you are so close to the end, but it's worth a shot. I would strongly not suggest going unassisted if you are not prepared or educated about it.

Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011

FoxintheSnow is offline  
#78 of 86 Old 03-04-2011, 08:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by FoxintheSnow View Post

At this point, he can't really tell you to go find another OB. He has to keep you as a patient. In most states, if not all an OB has to give a patient 30 days notice to drop them and seeing as it's march 4 and you are due at the end of march, that's not possible. You can switch on your own accord but he can't drop you. Have you check the Michigan tribe on mdc? Maybe they can help find you another provider. It can be tricky since you are so close to the end, but it's worth a shot. I would strongly not suggest going unassisted if you are not prepared or educated about it.

 

I know legally he can't drop me, and it's a line often used by OBs to get their patients to do what they want them to do, since their patients feel they have no other choice. Fortunately, though, this Friday I have an appointment with the OB at the birthing center close-by, :) The receptionist at the birthing center even said if worse came to worse I could just walk in when I'm in labor, but it wasn't the ideal method, and I chose to do this the right way. I want to know the birthing center's routine procedures, too, even though I know statistically, birthing centers are a lot less likely to intervene. I would hate walking into any place to give birth with absolutely NO idea of what the typical routine was.
 

 

EchoSoul is offline  
#79 of 86 Old 03-09-2011, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Update! My amniotic fluids are much better - no concern at all now. We discussed with our OB extending the date he was pushing for delivery, and he was willing to give us until the 31st of March(this is when he believes me to be at 42 weeks). He believes us when we say when we had sex, but as he put it, as a medical doctor in the field, it's not enough proof, whereas the ultrasound is the only proof he has to go on. Despite where we may think our baby is at gestationally, he feels uncomfortable prolonging the pregnancy past the 31st, based on his "proof" that I would be 47 weeks at that point, and fears the possible side-effects that can come with a post-term baby. All in all, as I've said before; we do like this doctor, he does seem to listen to us, and it was awesome for him to have given us that 2 week extension when in our previous appointments he seemed SO adamant on the 17th. This, of course, does not mean if I don't go into labor by the 31st that we're artificially inducing. This does not mean we will be bullied at all into doing something that goes against our instinct and better judgment. We hesitate switching doctors at this point in time, in the event that yes, even if the birthing center is more lax on ultrasound due dates, the fact of the matter is that's still going to be their proof, too. The advantage we have here is that our OB knows us now, knows that we don't bend to "This is what the ultrasound says", and knows our thoughts and beliefs on the matter. Anywho, enough rambling. We are very satisfied with the turnout of this appointment. And I'm happy to know my amniotic levels are where they should be, :)
EchoSoul is offline  
#80 of 86 Old 03-09-2011, 04:31 PM
 
JudiAU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Where creepy facebook-featured threads can't find me
Posts: 3,616
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

I would be very very uncomfortable with a doctor that said that. I get the "everyone has an epidural" or "that is not real life" because, yes, that is hospital birth for many women. That is the doctor's experience. But someone who thinks that a woman should not move in labor if unmedicated is um, crazy? totally unexperienced with natural birth?

JudiAU is offline  
#81 of 86 Old 03-09-2011, 08:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

I would be very very uncomfortable with a doctor that said that. I get the "everyone has an epidural" or "that is not real life" because, yes, that is hospital birth for many women. That is the doctor's experience. But someone who thinks that a woman should not move in labor if unmedicated is um, crazy? totally unexperienced with natural birth?

We still haven't clarified with him exactly what he meant. Either he meant walk around the hallways, or walk around the room. Given that there's a squat bar, and birthing ball and birthing stool available, I now have a hard time believing he meant one couldn't walk around the delivery room, and instead meant the hallway. As near as I figure the hospital probably fears that if a laboring women were to walk around the hallways, and suffered a particularly hard contraction, she could take a fall and hurt herself and/or the baby.

EchoSoul is offline  
#82 of 86 Old 03-10-2011, 08:24 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,028
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

...edited to delete everything I wrote because I should have read the whole thread first.

Goodluck with your birth mama. I hope everyone is happy and healthy.

Ldavis24 is offline  
#83 of 86 Old 03-10-2011, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

...edited to delete everything I wrote because I should have read the whole thread first.

Goodluck with your birth mama. I hope everyone is happy and healthy.

Thanks! My fiance actually clarified something today that had me worried - he said months ago if there was a problem he'd fold like a bad deck of cards - but failed to mention he trusts my instincts and would only fold to the OB if I felt something was wrong. Otherwise he's behind me 100% of the way. This makes me feel much better.
 

 

EchoSoul is offline  
#84 of 86 Old 03-10-2011, 02:38 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,028
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by EchoSoul View Post



Thanks! My fiance actually clarified something today that had me worried - he said months ago if there was a problem he'd fold like a bad deck of cards - but failed to mention he trusts my instincts and would only fold to the OB if I felt something was wrong. Otherwise he's behind me 100% of the way. This makes me feel much better.
 

 

I know about frustrations with the spouse. I have my whole own thread devoted to my DH's utter panic at the idea that I want a HB...I am working on bit by bit and he is coming around but when it is your first baby it is very very different. I actually had a hospital birth for baby 1 and used a midwife....he's seen me birth, he knows I can do it without meds because I didn't have any.

Your fiance will see you in a way he never thought he would. A woman who is TRULY capable of anything.  If you ever have more children I think the panic (assuming all goes well) is greatly reduced. 

 

Have fun and goodluck! I think what helped me through the worst parts was remembering or trying to remember that each ctx brought me closer to meeting my LO. 
 

 

Ldavis24 is offline  
#85 of 86 Old 03-18-2011, 07:13 PM
 
Lilygoose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 146
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

You might be.  I had a natural hospital birth at a branch of our hospital system that was a women's hospital.  Although they were honest about not specializing in natural birth, they presented themselves as being natural birth friendly.  And in many ways they were (it helped that my midwife had done a fair amount of natural births-especially when my 11 pounder got stuck and she was able to safely continue my natural birth and help get that baby unstuck pronto).  However, I had to yell at a random OB to stop asking me if I wanted an epidural-my birth plan distinctly stated not only to not offer one, but to try to persuade me to wait if I started asking, which I never did.  The nurses were kind and supportive for the most part, but it was easy to tell by their reactions that they did not have much, if any, experience with natural birth and did not quite know what to do with me.  I handled it all really well for the most, they had a tub, which I spent a huge portion of my labor in, but I was in the pushing stage with an 11 pound baby for over 2 hours-I had a really hard time finding my rythm.  I should have paid better attention at my Bradley classes.  It was painful, and while I wasn't screaming or anything it was still apparent that it hurt, alot.  This kind of freaked them out.  They were overly impressed after my labor with what had happened.  Several of them admtited to having no experience with natural birth. Yes it was a difficult thing, but women have been doing this since the dawn of time and painkillers are only a recent invention.  So you could very easily be the only woman there who does not want an epidural or to just take it laying on your back.Also you might want to learn about the cascade of interventions-so while one thing may not seem that important to you-such as walking around-it may be thing that leds to another thing, that leads eventually to interventions you really don't want. I started out simply not wanting pain meds.  Before learning about birth through my Bradley classes (and it doesn't have to be Bradley-there are lots of other approaches) I would have consented to an IV, pitocin, etc. without realizing the effects they can have and how labor can be stalled when not allowed to simply flow along its natural progression.  And definitely check the c-section rates of your hospital-it doesn't have to be a deal breaker if you have the right supports and knowledge, but if it is high (mine was 30%) you will need that help and support to prevent the potential for people who aren't knowledgeable about natural birth from coercing you into things you don't want, b/c scarily they really do think some of these things are necessary even for women whose births are low risk and going fine all on their own.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EchoSoul View Post




That makes sense.. Because I cannot possibly imagine that I'm the ONLY woman there who doesn't want any epidural, and I can't possibly imagine that I'm the only woman there that would take this "laying down", ....literally.

 

Then I certainly will exercise my right in my birth plan to move around! And goodness knows my husband will back me up.



 

Lilygoose is offline  
#86 of 86 Old 03-19-2011, 12:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
EchoSoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 404
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks for the advice, :) According to the internal check yesterday at my doctor's office, I'm 2 - almost 3 cm dilated, :) It's 2 days past the due date from the original ultrasound our OB was so hung up on, and so far my only signs have been a random, dull ache at the pit of my uterus that happens randomly throughout the day for a moment. We're still thinking the March 28th due date is gonna be more accurate, even though I still don't think I'm gonna give birth until April. I didn't know it was so common(from google searches) to be 2 cm dilated at 35 weeks - HAH! More proof that we've been right about how far along I am, and that the ultrasound gave inaccurate information, :)

EchoSoul is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off