Cesarean Birth/Recovery Support Thread 9 (april 04) - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 01:45 AM
 
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I have heard that some for some women, a sex drive kicks in later in life, and certainly later than men. Well, it's true for me. I remember telling my first husband that I could happily go the rest of my life with no sex....

Course, being remarried helps in that department anyway, and when the hormonal crash happens who knows how I'll feel. But it does seem like a long, long time to go without. Oy.
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#152 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 02:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Let's talk sex....

This is like a we do not talk about it kind of conversation.

Did any of you feel like sex was different post op?

Do any of you feel that by having a csection, you may have preserved your vagina for sex?

Was sex painful that first time post op?

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#153 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 02:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I want to say that in some ways I feel like that my csections have preserved my sex life in the vagina department. I think one of my concerns about a vaginal birth was that I was concerned about it ruining my sex life. I have I high sex drive and I like to keep things in shape down there. For some reason thinking of putting a 7-9lb baby through there was not appealing to me when I thought about my sex life.
I heard many women, my mom being one of them, tell me that sex was not the same after they had babies. For the most part, I can say that post csection my sex life has been the same, Also when I was pregnant with Jack I actually read an article about men who after watching their wives give birth have an aversion to having sex with their wives. I talked to my husband about that and he said that he had a difficult time about my breasts being the babies, so no telling about the other parts had he seen a person come out of there.
I will say the first time post op with my daughter I did experience tenderness and soreness (during and after) in the ab area. Of course we took things really slow. I didnt have this problem at all after my son.
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#154 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 02:19 AM
 
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It was painful but not from the c/b...it was from bfing. I was sooo dry! I'm usually Queen Lubey but not while bfing the first few months!

Sex is the same. It's great!! I actually cant imagine our sex life being better....except having it more than 4 or 5 times a week. I hope we are still this horney in 20 years!!

Preserving my vagina?? I don't know. Some women say sex is better after having children. Would it be on my list of reasons to have a c/b...no Is it a benefit...yes

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#155 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 09:14 AM
 
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I actually have the opposite, I have always been very "tight" for lack of a better word, and on top of that my vagina has a 90 degree turn, due to my pelvis being abnormal- so sex has always been a challenge in getting "comfortable", once I get there though- . Anywho- I really thought having a vaginal birth would at first be very painful sexually (let's face it, if a penis hurts, a baby is really going to do some damage), but figured once I was all healed, I would be stretched, and that maybe my vagina would be straighter: . So, it is one reason I wish I had had a vaginal birth.

I also seem to have more difficulty since having children (pain-wise), but my OBs have said it was more from carrying the babies than from birth. I also have a ton of tenderness with ovulation lower down (like not in the tubes where I used to feel it) since having my babes, and I had thought maybe it was adhesions, but, my current OB says there were no adhesions to speak of, and she and my previous OB are both about why the ovulation pain is there.

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#156 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 12:30 PM
 
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Good topic. Maybe you all can offer some insight. My poor dh is suffering.

This is totally TMI, but here goes (you've been forewarned) ... I'm not sure if its b/c I pushed for 2 hours before my c/b or for other reasons, but I have found sex to be uncomfortable (almost painful) since ds's birth. I'm actually a little concerned about adhesions since its so uncomfortable. DH, bless his heart, has been very patient, but I really, really, really am uncomfortable now. Not to mention the fact that bfing has made things dry (and we use lots of lube), and I keep getting either UTIs or yeast infections which further make things tender. And I'm apparently allergic to all barrier methods and/or spermicides so bc is a huge problem (and AF is back so that's a concern). Basically, my sex life stinks.

Now that you know way more about me than you ever wanted to know, what do I do to make things better, or is it just a matter of time (I'm 5+ mos. pp). Do you think I might have adhesions? How would one go about finding out about that? If so, what do they do about them?
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#157 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 12:46 PM
 
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I feel your pain, I really do

I know that if it is adhesions, they have to surgically remove them, but I thought that was my problem, and it turns out, I don't have any, I am not sure how they can tell if you have them without opening you up .

Sorry you are having such a hard time, God Bless your dh and mine too here's to our fabulous husbands. I did find that after my second was born, I needed a lot more foreplay, and I needed the pressure off to "get the deed done", if I knew I didn't have to, I was more able to be open to the touch, and we worked at it until I was better, it wasn't until just before #3s conception that things got good again, and it was good throughout pregnancy too.

Oh- and a little of that champagne might help too, if you are so inclined, I have never been able to bring myself to even have one glass while nursing(or pregnant), but that is just how I am, I do think it might be of help in the sex area .

Definitely see your Dr. though, I went to 3 different OBs to try to find the reason for the pain, and a solution.

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#158 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 01:05 PM
 
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What are adhesions?

Yeah, my poor dh is patient. It was kind of his choice but we haven't had sex since I started to show my pregnancy. That would be since this past October...I don't want to count the months.

Since my c sec was a surprise, I count preserving my vagina as one of the benefits, along with 8 weeks disability pay instead of 6! It's sick, I know but you've got to find the silver lining!!!

Amy

Mama to DS1 (4/04) DS2 (HBAC 11/06) DS3 (HBAC 12/08) DS4 (HBAC 1/11). Wife to one handsome hard working DH.
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#159 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 02:43 PM
 
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It took me several months to enjoy sex again - the lube issue and BFing was the culprit I"m sure. It felt like sandpaper in there!

But after about 8 months I was back to normal and I have to say sex doesn't feel any different than it did beforehand.

I don't know about the idea that vaginal births have to change things "down there". I mean, it's all muscle and my feeling is that if you were in shape before the birth, you will get back into shape again. I think it's more about conditioning (and maybe age) than what kind of birth you had.

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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#160 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 05:29 PM
 
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It's Our Family wrote
Quote:
I'm in PAIN!! Everytime I bump my tummy I want to scream!! I'm starting to get feeling back in the areas above my incision and it is sore! Not to mention the itching but I can't scratch cause the feeling is still not all the way back!
Hey gals,

I've been meaning to mention this to everyone, and I don't think I've ever posted about it on this list. I would HIGHLY recommend a form of bodywork called lymphatic drainage for any type of post-surgical healing.

It is a fairly light touch modality that listens to the flow of your lymphatic fluid and helps to make sure it is flowing optimally. Lymphatic vessels get severed (just like the rest of them) anytime there is an incision, and scar tissue or adhesions can create roadblocks to optimal flow of lymphatic tissue. Also, keeping things nice and "juicey" with optimal fluid flow can minimize scarring and adhesions, and optimize healing.

I found it to be very helpful after my uterine surgery - helped tremendously with scar flexibility and it also changed the texture of my scar. While I did not have the "overhang" that some women mention (probably because I wasn't pregnant), I did have a sort of a "road-bump" ridge that ran above my scar. The work completely eliminated that.

A friend recently had a session done and she was blown away by how much changed after 1 session. Her scar went from an angry red to a pale pink, and her overhang totally changed. She was amazed by how much the landscape of her abdomen changed from the treatment.

If you're interested in finding a practitioner in your area PM me and I'll see what I can find out, or go to www.upledger.com and search for a practitioner - preferably one who's had 3 levels of lymphatic training - even better if they're certified.

LisaG

Lisa , married to Dan, mama to IVF miracle Natalie 5/20/09 :
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#161 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 08:34 PM
 
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LisaG- Thanks for posting about lymphatic massage..I was trained briefly in massage school in lymphatic massage (mostly to treat edema) and I never knew it could be used for healing after surgery! I am definitly going to try to locate someone near me, though I'm not sure I could tolerate a full treatment as I kind of find LM annoying.. (all those light feathery strokes are torture when I LOVE deep work) though I am at the point now that I have occasional pain but am still limited in what I can do (bending over and twisting are still hard ones & I have to be careful with those) maybe this would speed things along!

btw I wanted to add I took homeopathic arnica when my pain was at it's worst after coming home from the hospital and it worked wonders!!!!!

as for the sex life we are on post birth hiatus still :LOL

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#162 of 168 Old 04-23-2004, 10:00 PM
 
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Rainbowmoon,

I bet it could make some nice changes with your scar mobility - even if you just do the abdominal area. I'd recommend Chikly method over Vodder - Chikly (from what I've heard) is less mechanical and the therapist I work with is certified in both and really likes Chikly's over Vodder - heard that from a few others as well.

Good luck!

LisaG

Lisa , married to Dan, mama to IVF miracle Natalie 5/20/09 :
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#163 of 168 Old 04-26-2004, 09:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, Very long weekend here. Got on some scales and weighed 20lbs heavier. See what stress is doing to me?
I think this is why around my scar is hurting, I am packing on pounds. I don't see myself dieting anytime soon though. How many of you think weight plays a big issue in incision pain and discomfort?

I need to lose a 100lbs at this point. Ugh. I definitely want to be smaller for the next pregnancy and birth.

I am going to start a new thread in the next day or so too.
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#164 of 168 Old 04-26-2004, 10:58 AM
 
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My scar issues right now are because I'm starting to get feeling back in the rest of my tummy. I still had about a 3.5 inch strip or bigger with NO feeling. At this point I kind of enjoyed the numbness

My biggest question is...how do I get rid of this ppost c/b belly?? I've lost about 55 pounds since having Bryce but the skin flapp isn't shrinking at all!! I need a size smaller jeans for my butt and thigsh but not my belly!!! I'm afraid to do too much of an ab workout but maybe I need to.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#165 of 168 Old 04-30-2004, 02:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheFence
How many of you think weight plays a big issue in incision pain and discomfort?

I need to lose a 100lbs at this point.
I am up and down but having a small upward trend right now. I do think the weight adds to the discomfort. I need to lose about 75 pounds.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#166 of 168 Old 04-30-2004, 03:23 PM
 
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I seem to have more incision discomfort this time around for some reason, I only have 8-10 pounds to lose (but it's a stubborn 8-10, that for sure).

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#167 of 168 Old 05-04-2004, 11:16 PM
 
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I have a lot more incision discomfort this time around - and it's getting worse as time progresses. I'm 10 weeks out now and have about 6lbs more to lose.

I think weight can play a role, but I think it might also be scar tissue/adhesions developing (in my case for sure!). I think it's also related to how mobile you are and how much you lift (i.e. chasing after your older children while slinging your now 17lb baby - and occasionally having to lift two at a time!)
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#168 of 168 Old 05-05-2004, 10:46 AM
 
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I am having issues with the area around my incision. My skin is still numb and is starting to hurt. I guess the nerve endings are healing and waking up. Plus the scar is sore. If it rubs wrong it hurts. I have about 3 or 4 pounds of pg weight and about 40 pounds of extra weight to lose. And as the "skin flap" gets shorter it rubs more and gets all red and sore.

I am sick of this skin flap!! Does it ever go away even if I do lose all the weight I need. Will I ever have a flat stomach??

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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