Shamed, embarrassed, depressed, HUMILIATED - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am a bit teary as I even write this. I had no idea this was going on, and I already felt so ashamed about myself.

 

It's been 2 years since the birth of my second boy. He was 9 pounds, 21 inches. I was proud to have such a big baby being small myself at 5'1 95 pounds pre-pregnancy. I was hoping the joy would just continue and continue, but it didn't.

 

We are now trying for number 3 and I have fallen into somewhat of a depression for the first time in my life. I feel shamed, embarassed and utterly saddened. My stomach after giving birth to him, was a huge hernia- I looked 6 months pregnant for months after the birth, along with skin so baggy and so wrinkly I looked like an 80 year old in my tummy area. 

 

Well, the big new news is that my vaginal floor muscles are completely deteriorated. I had wondered why the past 2 years, I haven't been able to keep in urine, now I know why. I was also wondering why doing kegals religiously (and I've been properly trained how), were also not doing anything. In fact, they wouldn't even budge when I tried. When I saw the specialist last week, she measured everything, tested everything, and determined that huge fat buldge in my "area" was in fact, bladder prolapse- there are no muscles holding it in place. They're in a constant state of jitteriness and weakness.

 

I guess I am just looking for mutual experience or just plain flat out support. I feel like the ugliest 25 year old girl out there, and since finding out about my floor muscles, I have even more reason to completely hate my body. DTD is often difficult because of my lack of confidence and now I am even less confident because of my muscles.

 

Suggestions, or even personal experiences are so welcome. I am hoping this will all pass, that I will be able to figure this out, and that I will gain my confidence back, because I just don't have it anymore, and it's saddening my husband, and most of all, me.

 

To top this all off, my best friend told me "I think this means you should only have c-sections now". Well, that's not the best thing to tell someone who is so passionate about natural birth and what it means to have a beautiful bonding experience. I can't just do that so lightly, KWIM?

 

But maybe I should just shove natural birth out the window now. If physical therapy won't cure this, I have no idea what's in store for me, my health and our dream of a big family.

 

greensad.gif

 

Thanks in advance for anyone who responds...


Me whistling.gif Wife / SAHM / Musician/ Actress/ Queen of this castle. Progeny: William (January 2007), Tristan (November 2008) and expecting Lukas stork-boy.gif due January 2012!!  lactivist.gif femalesling.GIFwaterbirth.jpg dishes.gif

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#2 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 02:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I also wanted to mention about the "humiliated" part, that what I mean by that is- shopping at the store the other day, with a cart full of groceries and the boys in the cart, I completely "lost it all" because I wasn't able to get to a bathroom quickly enough. This is all making me feel so CRUMMY (although I would like to insert some slightly stronger verbage in there)


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#3 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 02:31 PM
 
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I am so sorry!!!

 

Also, I don't think that it has anything to do with natural birth. I mean, was it the pregnancy or the birth that caused this? Regardless, changing how you do birth in the future won't change damages from the past, see what I am saying?

 

((((hugs))))

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#4 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 02:38 PM
 
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There's a thread in the healing birth trauma for those of us dealing with pelvic organ prolapse. Let me see if I can find it for you.
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#5 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 02:43 PM
 
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Here you go
http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/713732/pelvic-organ-prolapse-support-thread/1360#post_16392369

There's a lot of great information and support on that thread. Here, I'll tell you that I have both a prolapsed bladder and rectum. Not fun. Sometimes it's better than others, but I've started to experience some of the urine leakage that you're talking about, and I know how bad it feels greensad.gif. I'm considering surgery right now, but it would have to wait until after I'm done with a course of medication I'm taking for something else (can't have "elective" surgery while I'm taking it because it can affect my ability to heal properly). Anyhow, surgery might be anoption for you in the future, but it would need to wait until you're done having children, because pregnancy and child birth would likely undo any repairs made.
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#6 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 03:23 PM
 
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I am sorry this happened to you.

 

You should know that this is NOT a reason for an Elective Caesarean Section or any kind of Surgical Birth.  You will be fine.  Ask if a pessary or a simpler repair can be made for the time being.  

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#7 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 04:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you- about the c-section thoughts. Unfortunately (and different topic) now my friend is "even more determined" to never give birth vaginally based on my example. So much for influencing natural childbirth to friends, eh?


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#8 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 04:45 PM
 
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I asked he gyno-urologist if I had the surgery now and got pregnant again, if an elective c-section would protect the repairs and he said that it is pregnancy itself that contributes to his issue, rather than vaginal child birth. Women who have given birth only by c-section still suffer from prolapse. I asked him about it when he told me I should wait until I'm sure I'm doing having children before I consider reconstructive surgery. He did say that he thought epidurals and delivery on your back could make a prolapse worse (due to unnatural positioning and women not being able to feel themselves pushing. I had three medicated births, and he recommended that if I did have any more children that I do what I could to have an unmedicated birth, but that regardless of method of birth, my prolapse was likely to get worse with another pregnancy.
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#9 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 04:53 PM
 
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I am sorry for both of you!  It is for this reason that I tell women birth with an unmedicated birth with a midwife is worth the extra $.  I am sure there are ways to improve your situation now.  Doctors do all kinds of surgical things for women and this could be one wonderous one.

 

 

 

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Women who have given birth only by c-section still suffer from prolapse.

This is very true.  I have known of women who elected to have a caesarean to avoid the possibility of a prolapse.  I have also heard of ob's tell women that a surgical delivery will avoid a prolapse all together.  

 

It is the hormones of pregnancy and gravity that cause the organs to soften and go south.  Some of this can be hereditary.

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#10 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 05:05 PM
 
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Oh my gosh! I just want to tell you how much I sympathise. I'm 29, and have been having the same problem since the birth of my daughter. I know what you mean about humiliating. No one understands-- nobody. Even when you go to get help about this issue-- all the ads and brochures etc are aimed at old people.

 

I've had to change my pants at the mall, and I peed myself at my son's playground, right there by the swings. I can't do hardly anything without peeing myself-- standing up, picking up my son or daughter etc. lately I thought I was getting better, but yesterday I such a horrible experience that I can't even get into the details here- it's too embarrassing even for the internet.

 

I wanted to put a vote for physical therapy-- it's the only thing that gave me hope; and a little bit of relief. I can now hold my pee for certain things. 

 

Oh-- and btw, re child I had a c-section and then a vbac. my pt said that the section likely contributed to the muscle weekness-- this doesn't happen as a cause of vag birth alone. 

 

I will post more later.


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#11 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 05:21 PM
 
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I got diagnosed after my 2nd baby. I have since had 2 other natural births and am pregnant again. I have prolapse of bladder and rectal muscles, along with my uterus "falling"... so I completely hear you. I don't find being intimate the same and after a few minutes, it actually hurts unless we are in the same.dang.position.the.whole.time. Because I am done having children after #5, I am opting for a partial hysterectomy. My midwife said that would pretty much take most of the prolapse away because the pressure will be off of everything. I have had the experience of peeing in a parking lot as well...started dry heaving from morning sickness and peed right through my jeans. :( Not fun.

My doctor told me about reconstructive surgery and how it needs to be redone every 7-10 years or so... It's just such a delicate area. :(
But yeah, I'd definitely seeks some love in the link posted by the other mom. It's way more common than we think...people just don't talk about it casually.

 

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#12 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 10:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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WOW. I did NOT realize how common my issue was! Thank goodness I have support here. Now I just need to post a picture of my tummy though and hope someone says "Mine looks JUST like that!"

 

ugh.

 

About pregnancy and prolapse- Interesting. I did not know that! I had midwives with both my birth, yes, they are the way to go and I will never go to an OB, or a hospital for that matter!

 

Hopefully can sort all of this out, and gain some confidence. Although you ladies have already given me a little bit :) Thank you...


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#13 of 44 Old 04-27-2011, 10:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post

Oh my gosh! I just want to tell you how much I sympathise. I'm 29, and have been having the same problem since the birth of my daughter. I know what you mean about humiliating. No one understands-- nobody. Even when you go to get help about this issue-- all the ads and brochures etc are aimed at old people.

 

I've had to change my pants at the mall, and I peed myself at my son's playground, right there by the swings. I can't do hardly anything without peeing myself-- standing up, picking up my son or daughter etc. lately I thought I was getting better, but yesterday I such a horrible experience that I can't even get into the details here- it's too embarrassing even for the internet.

 

I wanted to put a vote for physical therapy-- it's the only thing that gave me hope; and a little bit of relief. I can now hold my pee for certain things. 

 

Oh-- and btw, re child I had a c-section and then a vbac. my pt said that the section likely contributed to the muscle weekness-- this doesn't happen as a cause of vag birth alone. 

 

I will post more later.

 

 

 

Weird, I don't know how to select only a part of a quote (mdc has changed a lot!) Anyway, you are right that no one understands besides those of us who experience it every day. My husband, bless his heart and he hasn't known any better, has gotten after me the past year saying "Aren't you doing your kegals?" There are times when this doesn't even work anymore.

 

Anyone here go through physical therapy for this? I start mine in a couple weeks, not sure what I have in store...



 


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#14 of 44 Old 04-28-2011, 05:20 AM
 
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(((hugs)))

 

 

I've had a mild bladder prolapse since my third was born.  Been wearing pads daily since then, and he's about to turn 4.  No fun.  Also, mid cycle every month, everything in there seem to "fall down" and I have that awkward "it's going to fall out" feeling for a few days.  Yay, hormones.

eyesroll.gif

 

Also, yeah, the stomach thing?  I try to ignore it.  It's never going back to where it was, not after 3 kids, two of them 10 lb or more.

 

I am so sad though, that you are ashamed about all this. In daily life, it's annoying to deal with and all that, but feeling shamed and ugly because of it is so, so sad.  Being incontinent is definitely embarassing, but nothing that should cause shame, as it's not your fault.  And the visible outer changes (like stomach) are a normal result of birth.  But our culture doesn't allow deviation from airbrushed standards of beauty, so we all hide it and feel like we're the only ones who don't have a perfectly hard and smooth belly. 

 

What helps me tremendously is that my husband loves me, and my body, and doesn't consider the changes traumatic or ugly.  He loves my body more than I do, and that has helped me change my attitude towards myself over the years.   Do you have people in your life that can remind you that you *are* beautiful and encourage you?

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#15 of 44 Old 04-28-2011, 09:17 AM
 
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I've been to pt for this... I don't have prolapse, but I'm still incontinent. Basically what I was told was that it was just muscle weakness, abs, from the section, pelvic floor from the back to back  pregnancy, vaginal wall...etc. Pt definitely lifted my mood. i also go a pelvic floor exerciser which i started using, and I really belive helped.

 

If you can, I would def try pt. It's wonderful to be able to *do* something about this. And if not, if you feel that the pelvic floor exerciser would help you, you can buy those off of the internet. Mine is really easy to use, even though the idea of it still kind of squicks me out.


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#16 of 44 Old 04-28-2011, 01:09 PM
 
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Oh OP, Totally know how you feel. I was so utterly humiliated by my postbirth body. I once peed all over the bathroom floor because I couldn't lift the toilet cover on time. I even pooped myself once when I was desperate to get to the potty. Blah! I also have a pretty bad rectocele and mild cystocele. My body is a mess. I have a hernia in my tummy as well. My guts sort of pop out every time I sneeze or cough. That doesn't really bother me as much though, because at least everyone knows your tummy goes to pot after you have a baby.
I read a great book called "Ever Since I had my Baby" by Rodger Goldberg. He's a urogyn in the practice I go to. The book is fabulous and it makes you feel so much better about your problems, and gives you a lot of pointers about good treatment options.
I would definitely see a PT if I were you. They can do wonders. Also check out the blog www.katysays.com. She's a biomechanist and has some really great pointers for posture etc. Also, if you have time, check out this study
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/461719_7

It's a study questioning whether or not mild prolapse should be considered a normal and expected finding in postpartum women. I hope you can find comfort in knowing that most women are going through the same thing as you!

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#17 of 44 Old 04-28-2011, 01:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post

Oh my gosh! I just want to tell you how much I sympathise. I'm 29, and have been having the same problem since the birth of my daughter. I know what you mean about humiliating. No one understands-- nobody. Even when you go to get help about this issue-- all the ads and brochures etc are aimed at old people.

 

I've had to change my pants at the mall, and I peed myself at my son's playground, right there by the swings. I can't do hardly anything without peeing myself-- standing up, picking up my son or daughter etc. lately I thought I was getting better, but yesterday I such a horrible experience that I can't even get into the details here- it's too embarrassing even for the internet.

 

I wanted to put a vote for physical therapy-- it's the only thing that gave me hope; and a little bit of relief. I can now hold my pee for certain things. 

 

Oh-- and btw, re child I had a c-section and then a vbac. my pt said that the section likely contributed to the muscle weekness-- this doesn't happen as a cause of vag birth alone. 

 

I will post more later.


Have you seen a urogyn? I ask because you could have something wrong with your bladder itself, like stones or something. If you couple a bladder disorder with weak pelvic floor muscles it can be very hard to control your urine flow. Just a thought. And (((hugs)))
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#18 of 44 Old 04-28-2011, 03:11 PM
 
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I have POP that developed after my second child was born as well. Actually, I just read a statistic the other day that 11% of all women will have pelvic floor problems that are bad enough that they ultimately seek surgical treatment. So yes, very common! No words of wisdom beyond what you've already gotten, but I wanted to let you know that you are not the only one.


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#19 of 44 Old 04-28-2011, 03:29 PM
 
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I just read a bunch of stuff on squatting to help with both preventing and healing prolapse due to pregnancy.  I'm sure I found some of the info here on MDC, so I'll see if I can find where I read about it and then repost.

 

As far as the emotions you are experiencing, I would like to commiserate.  I am about the same age as you, and feel like my days of physical enjoyment are over. I did not have prolapse, but I was ripped to shreds (literally) when I gave birth.  I am now trying to deal with how I look and feel down there more than a year later, and trying to get ready for another birth soon (which I am so scared of because of what happened last time).  How can my husband stand to have sex with me?  Plus, it still hurts to DTD.  I used to love the visual element of making love, now I only like lights-off and minimal touching (whichs makes for pretty boring sex).  If I had the money for cosmetic surgery to fix things, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Sex was such an important part of our relationship, and now...we still do it regularly, but I doubt either one of us is really fulfilled. 


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#20 of 44 Old 04-29-2011, 01:35 AM
 
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I think this might be the article mentioned above.


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#21 of 44 Old 04-29-2011, 09:07 AM
 
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i second this. have you seen a urologist or urogyn??? there are meds for incontinence, i'm told. i have a problem with frequent UTIs and after almost 2 years (after the birth of ds2) of dealing with UTIs every single month, i FINALLY found a good urologist who helped me. ask for a 2nd opinion if you're not happy with the first. i did and i am so happy i did. i'd still be dealing with this if i'd stayed with the first fool i was with. grrr. i'm still seething. he had me stop nursing my son at 8 months to try a bunch of prescriptions that didn't even work. THEN he gave up on me, saying that there was nothing else to try. he didn't even do any tests!! he just relied on tests another doc did while i was pregnant. i went to my family doc, asked to try a med i was on before i was pregnant with ds2 and then saw another urologist who said it was actually her recommendation (and she explained exactly why it was working.) i am on a med that does miracles for me now and couldn't be happier. i was so tired of taking antibiotics for a month at a time. it was awful.

i know what incontinence is like. i had a problem with it after ds2 but worked on kegels and in time, i have improved. one of the things that gives me a sign i have a UTI is incontinence. i know plenty of mamas with incontinence and prolapsed bladders. i was shocked at how many admitted to having a problem when the topic came up! i thought i was alone in having issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by scottishmommy View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post

Oh my gosh! I just want to tell you how much I sympathise. I'm 29, and have been having the same problem since the birth of my daughter. I know what you mean about humiliating. No one understands-- nobody. Even when you go to get help about this issue-- all the ads and brochures etc are aimed at old people.

 

I've had to change my pants at the mall, and I peed myself at my son's playground, right there by the swings. I can't do hardly anything without peeing myself-- standing up, picking up my son or daughter etc. lately I thought I was getting better, but yesterday I such a horrible experience that I can't even get into the details here- it's too embarrassing even for the internet.

 

I wanted to put a vote for physical therapy-- it's the only thing that gave me hope; and a little bit of relief. I can now hold my pee for certain things. 

 

Oh-- and btw, re child I had a c-section and then a vbac. my pt said that the section likely contributed to the muscle weekness-- this doesn't happen as a cause of vag birth alone. 

 

I will post more later.




Have you seen a urogyn? I ask because you could have something wrong with your bladder itself, like stones or something. If you couple a bladder disorder with weak pelvic floor muscles it can be very hard to control your urine flow. Just a thought. And (((hugs)))


 


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#22 of 44 Old 04-29-2011, 09:43 AM
 
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(hug) I just wanted to give you upliftment and some positive support. I'm really sorry you have to go through this, my friend.

 

I know there is a big issue with some remote tribes in Africa who go through similar things, only culturally it's VERY taboo and women actually die from being shunned.  Their bodies are stunted from hard work at a young age so they are physically tiny and their bodies arent capable of carrying a baby properly when they are of age to marry and have kids.

So there is a HIGH infant and mother mortality rate there and it tears these women's bodies up with holes from the rectum into the vaginal opening (Fistulas) allowing feces and urine to seep out constantly.

The tribes see this as a punishment from either THEIR sin or the sin of their parents and literally throw these women out... It really brings to light for ME how lucky a lot of us are. You might be able to relate a little to their situations?

 

There is an amazing story given by Nova on it http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/filming-ethiopian-fistula-women.html.

 

I'm sure you are seeking out help in whichever way you can. I would think the doctors would be looking into finding you a specialist to help your situation? Again many hugs from this area. I suffer from minor incontinence and my pelvic floor feels VERY VERY loose after birthing 6 kids- and at term I literally feel myself 'falling out' vaginally', but I'm sure it's nothing compared to what you are going through. Prayers and blessings are with you!!!


 
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#23 of 44 Old 04-29-2011, 09:50 AM
 
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Lurking here, getting lots of great information.  My mother-in-law had 7 children and only stopped when her pelvic floor/muscles etc were wrecking havoc on her life.  This was maybe 18 years ago and she had surgery including a hysterectomy.  She says the surgery was immensely helpful. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post

I think this might be the article mentioned above.


 

Wow that's interesting.  She recommends against Kegels.  Ditch the Kegels and add two to three squat sessions throughout the day...    She also recommends squatting to pee in the shower, to help strengthen and maintain the pelvic muscles.  OK, I'll admit it, I've done that for years.

 

Per that article I think it's very interesting to note that MIL has a naturally flat butt, never did have the round gluteus maximus muscles even before she had children. 

 

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#24 of 44 Old 04-29-2011, 12:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post

And the visible outer changes (like stomach) are a normal result of birth.  But our culture doesn't allow deviation from airbrushed standards of beauty, so we all hide it and feel like we're the only ones who don't have a perfectly hard and smooth belly. 

 



Thank you cappuccinosmom.  I needed to hear that today.


 

 


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#25 of 44 Old 05-02-2011, 11:30 AM
 
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OP, hugs. 

 

I just want to chime in and say that the article/blog lifeguard posted has been a life saver for me.  Follow the links to Katy Bowman's blog (http://www.katysays.com/)... especially teh article "You don't know squat" - there's a TON of information.  I've had a urethrocystocele for over ten years - but I always thought it was normal.  Then, after DD was born, everything inside was collapsing to the outside.  And I definitely had the tucked pelvis posture - I'd trained myself to stand that way around age 15 because 1) I  hated the way my butt stuck out, and 2) because I read in some stupid women's magazine that it was good posture!  And that idea was reinforced by years of exercise classes. 

 

After following the advice in this article about posture and squatting.... my pelvic floor is in better shape than I was before I got pregnant.  In the past, I experienced near-constant pain during intercourse (due to my retroverted uterus, collapsing urethra and bulging bowels.... yuck...), and that has gotten about a 100x better.  I'm not 100% normal and I'm not sure I ever will be, but peeing has gotten easier over the last year (used be like trying to pee thorugh a kink in a hose - and then after she was born I was beginning to have some incontinence), and I can sprint after my kid and not feel like my vagina is going to turn inside out.  (TMI?  I clench my buttocks and pull my pelvic bone back as far as I can if I am going to run, though.)   I can have sex sometimes instead of never.  And I can squat.....  I still have a diastasis and I don't know if it is going to go away, but Bowman says that the diastasis also comes from the tucked pelvis posture, so maybe it will get better.  I also had a really bad piriformis problem/sciatica right after DD was born, and working on my glute muscles has made that go away.  I also try to be super conscious of which way my pelvis is tilting at any time. 

 

So if you are wondering if this advice could possibly help... I think the answer is... possibly.  It did help me.  One thing that was heartening was the idea of the pelvic floor muscles being unable to function properly unless they are pulled taut.  And that they can work like a bowl supporting the innards.  So even if your ligaments are all stretched out (as undoubtably mine are), getting into the right posture can help support them, along with any other types of therapy.  For whatever it's worth, Bowman believes that the cause of prolapses is the tucked pelvis posture... not pregnancy, and not vaginal childbirth (though both can exacerbate the problem).  I think she's onto something as I had a retroverted uterus (which is believed by some to be the earliest stage of prolapse) and the urethrocystocele... at 19, and possibly even earlier - never having been pregnant or given birth.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post

I think this might be the article mentioned above.



 

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#26 of 44 Old 05-02-2011, 12:12 PM
 
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Big hugs and a second for the suggestion of visiting the POP support thread... I know those ladies saved my sense of humor when I was first diagnosed with POP following the (VBAC) birth of my second child.

 

I have a handout I made about POP (recovery, prevention, etc) that I made after the shock of my own diagnosis wore off a bit... I'm a reference librarian and birth advocate and it drove me up the wall that POP was so very much misunderstood, mis-reported/mis-diagnosed, and taboo in our culture and it's become something of a soap box subject for me.  Anyway, if anyone wants a copy of my handout, just PM me and I'll send you one... it's put together from all sorts of sources and you're free to pass it along to midwives, doulas, OBs, friends, neighbors, etc.  Websites, books, and programs like Ending Female Pain, Saving the Whole Woman (the site totally looks like an infomercial, and a cheesy one at that, but the forums rock and it's one of the best sources for non-surgical treatments for POP), the Tupler Technique (there are threads in the fitness forum for moms using her program), and Beyond Kegels are all fantastic resources.

 

Since POP is considered a "quality of life" condition, there are all sorts of options before you reach surgery, or decide to change your future birth plans.  I remember how crushed I was after my dd's birth when not only did I feel like my body was a total failure (I'd had a c/s and then when I'd finally had a vbac /this/ happened... not exactly on top of the birthing goddess world) and I was still emotionally fragile into my second year post-partum.  However, I went on to have another VBAC with no worsening of symptoms and I'm planning another VBAC for this fall... so it's totally possible!  And that first post-POP vbac was in a hospital with a midwife/ob team and they never tried to talk me out of it so hang in there!  It's true that pregnancy and breastfeeding can complicate a POP surgery so it's a good idea to wait till you're done having kiddos to pull out the "big guns" but many women find that smaller fixes work fine.

 

~~(kind of unrelated, but you might want to share my POP theory with your friend... POP, especially in younger women, is on the rise.  Part of this is generational since many women today are more comfortable going to a dr to complain about POP symptoms and less willing to accept "it's life" as a diagnosis.  But even with increased reporting, the fact remains that POP used to be seen as an end-of-life issue and now it's a 30 something issue.  My money is on cesarean section as a MAJOR factor.  I mean here's a surgery that has exploded in numbers over the past few decades that specifically targets the pelvic organs!  Bladder is retracted, uterus often removed and at the least banged around, intestines moved, etc.  If you have surgery on a joint you kow that that joint will always be more prone to weakness/injury... so it's no surprise that a bladder that has been detached and replaced may not "stay put" as well as a bladder that was never retracted from it's home, and so on.  Obviously there are a lot of factors that contribute to POP.... diet, lifestyle, genetics... but your friend may want to think about the long term "costs" of a cesarean, especially if her reason for choosing a c/s is specifically related to POP.)~~

 

HANG IN THERE..... IT WILL GET BETTER!

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#27 of 44 Old 05-05-2011, 03:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post

I think this might be the article mentioned above.


That is indeed the article I was thinking of!  Thanks, because I couldn't find it.

 


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#28 of 44 Old 05-05-2011, 11:02 PM
 
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My grandma had the same exact problem after she had all her kids back in the day. Her doctor had her use a pessary for the pelvic prolapse and it helped her a lot, from what she told me today when I told her about your post.  She also said that kegels didn't do a thing for her and she eventually decided to use the pessary.  She also uses bladder spasm medicine like Ditropan to help with the leakage.  I asker her what pads she used for the incontinence and she told me that she likes Tena Serenity Ultra pads that are a little longer in the back (not the ultra thin kind).  She told me that these ones don't leak hardly at all and they are comfortable. 

 

I thought I'd let you know all of this.  I know its coming from a grandmother, but she thought that she'd let you know about all of this that helped her.

 

Jessie

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#29 of 44 Old 05-06-2011, 07:55 AM
 
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As much as i agree with using a good midwife and having an unmedicated birth, I do know a woman who suffered through a lot of these problems after a homebirth with a very reputable midwife in the area.  It was just one of those crappy things that happened.  :(
 

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Originally Posted by miriam View Post

I am sorry for both of you!  It is for this reason that I tell women birth with an unmedicated birth with a midwife is worth the extra $. 


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#30 of 44 Old 05-06-2011, 07:46 PM
 
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Destroyed pelvic floors can most certainly happen after natural childbirth. I actually find it distressing that the implication is that it won't. Sure, instrumental delivery in the hospital may up your chances! But that isn't particularly common nowadays. But look up obstetric fistula and have a gander at what some of the women giving birth without any obstetric assistance, in developing countries (very natural, indeed) deal with.


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