You might want to cross-post on the homebirth forum.
When I was first pregnant I started out going to see an OB at the hospital where I was insured. From start to finish it felt wrong, wrong, wrong. I mean, he was a nice enough guy. But I just got a very weird vibe from the whole situation. When the doctor was done with me I was supposed to schedule another appointment, and I remember walking through the waiting room (the receptionist was away from her desk) and just feeling like I had to get out of there. I half-expected the receptionist to come running after me yelling "wait, wait! You have to schedule an appointment!" It felt like I was escaping. Silly, I know, but the feeling was there nonetheless. As I was walking back to the car I knew with complete certainty that I would not be going back, though I didn't have a plan in mind for what I would do.
I think it was probably always in the back of my mind that homebirth was an option, because my SIL had had a homebirth. I wasn't at all interested in the why or how at the time -- when I walked out of the doctor's office was the first time I had considered not having a hospital birth. But now homebirth popped into my mind as a possibility. So in the beginning it was really about finding something that felt
more right. I didn't know that hospitals are germ-ridden and uncomfortable, that obstetrical management so often leads to iatrogenic complications, that the hospital environment is stressful. In fact, I had had this fantasy of how exciting it would to rush to the hospital in labor, and then have all this attention heaped on me, then have people visit me afterwards and bring me flowers while I lounged in bed. :LOL But none of that was relevant initially in making my decision. It was all about that intuitive feeling I had at the clinic, that this situation was not right.
After my first birth I started doing research, and began to understand that my intuitive feeling could actually be intellectually supported. At first I focused on the problems with the obstetric model of care and the hospital environment, but eventually came around to where I am now, which is the belief that the monitoring, guiding, and observing of labor is not conducive to the body functioning normally, in an instinctive, spontaneous, healthy way, in birth and
So now my choice to give birth at home is based mostly on that. Some sources I would recommend are Michel Odent and Sarah Buckley (she has a great article on the Mothering site.) Some other writers that have been influential to me are quoted in my birth website, link below.
If you have any other questions, feel free to PM or email me!