Birth Choices - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 10-26-2011, 02:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just recently participating in a discussion about birth choices, c-section, VBAC and RCS:

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1330100/fb-users-a-hopefully-postive-page-for-all-types-of-c-section-moms

 

The thread was locked, but were were having a really great conversation. For the first time ever I was talking with mamas who had c-sections, were devastated by them, but wanted to recapture something positive from their birth experience and attempt to heal a part of them that had been broken. There was some arguing, but I have to say, it was one of the most positive and healing things I have experienced regarding my birth experience in over two years.

 

I had a c-section with my son because he was in a breech position, and my midwives would not deliver him, nor would my doctor allow a vaginal delivery.

 

Those of us who experienced a c-section instead of a homebirth, UC, or natural childbrith, grapple with feelings of devastation, shame, sorrow...mixed with the joy of childbirth itself, the day our lives with our new babies began. It's a very strange, contradictory combination of feelings.

 

Some of you may have seen me talk about this before, but I want to provide some context. I am pregnant with my second child, and seeking a VBAC. Here are the choices I am limited to because of the state I live in:

 

1. RCS in my hometown.

2. VBAC in a large city hospital 3 hours away where I have no family or friends

3. UC

 

There are no midwives in my state (I have contacted every midwife I can find in the entire state) who will take on an HBAC. I can't even find a midwife who will see me for prenatal care.

 

I am the breadwinner of my family. I DO get maternity leave, but it is UNPAID. Therefore, I need to work up to delivery. Not only that, my family lives paycheck to paycheck. WE CANNOT AFFORD TO RENT A HOUSE OR APARTMENT in the city for weeks or even days. If I seek a VBAC, it will mean having to drive three hours IN LABOR, then having to drive home from the hospital for three hours with a newborn.

I also have a toddler.

 

It has been suggested to me that I could network to find strangers to stay with in the city, but doing so seems overwhelmingly difficult to me, especially with a toddler, and especially since we are talking about a 2-3 week window in which I might go into labor.

 

More than anything, I WANT A VBAC!!! However, I am overwhelmed and saddened by my lack of choices. I am facing the reality that RCS may be my best option, for a variety of reasons. I am a natural, AP, babywearing, bedsharing, selective vaxing, cloth diaper using, unschooling, multiple miscarriage suffering, infertility struggling mama who has limited choices. I am not pro c-section.

 


Sandy (41), Mama to Oscar (Feb 2009) and Aria (April 2012), infertility and miscarriage survivor brokenheart.gif 11/25/10 and brokenheart.gif 6/22/11.

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#2 of 4 Old 10-26-2011, 04:16 PM
 
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I'm sorry that you're not feeling heard. I haven't read the thread you mentioned, so I won't comment. I did want to suggest that you look into the possibility of having one of the traveling midwives come to you. I know that has been an option for people in the past.

Fledgling midwife on hiatus, Wife to B, mama to C (c/s ribboncesarean.gif 12/04) and S hbac.gif (12/07), angel3.gif m/c (3/12) and expecting another bean 6/13 stork-suprise.gif.

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#3 of 4 Old 10-26-2011, 04:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! That's a really great suggestion. I have looked into it, but it costs a lot to pay for their traveling expenses. I would also have to find one who would cross state lines. To complicate things further, I don't think I would feel comfortable unless I saw that person regularly for prenatal appointments and developed a relationship with them, and to do so would be impossibly expensive.


Sandy (41), Mama to Oscar (Feb 2009) and Aria (April 2012), infertility and miscarriage survivor brokenheart.gif 11/25/10 and brokenheart.gif 6/22/11.

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#4 of 4 Old 10-27-2011, 09:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I want to thank the amazing and supportive mamas who have pm'd me and who started this thread in Questions and Suggestions:

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1334180/c-birth-c-section-surgical-birth-forum-request

 

grouphug.gif


Sandy (41), Mama to Oscar (Feb 2009) and Aria (April 2012), infertility and miscarriage survivor brokenheart.gif 11/25/10 and brokenheart.gif 6/22/11.

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