How did you know... ready for another. - Mothering Forums
Birth and Beyond > How did you know... ready for another.
goldenwillow's Avatar goldenwillow 11:46 AM 05-03-2012

There is a overwhelming energy that is all around me saying that I am to have another.  Friends, family, my husband, my son and most recently myself (is it because of spring?). 

 

I live in an area where homebirth is not an option unless I decide to go UC.  Tackle that at another time :)

 

I am interested in thoughts from mamas that only wanted 1 then decided to go for it and have another. 



IndisposableMom's Avatar IndisposableMom 12:47 PM 05-03-2012

I just recently caught the baby bug myself again!  We always intended to have more (we have two already) so my situation is slightly different, but I simply can't wait to get pregnant again even though my last pregnancy was horrific.

 

I am a strong believer that you know deep inside what you want.  Trust your intuition, but don't let anyone else talk you into it.  Two kids is a lot more work than one, but nothing in the world beats seeing your two children enjoying themselves laughing together.

 

Good luck with your decision :-)

 

Mandy

www.indisposablemama.com


goldenwillow's Avatar goldenwillow 05:14 PM 05-03-2012

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.  I agree on the intuition.  My gut and my heart say yes, my fears say no.  Just wanted to get these thoughts out there...


BroodyWoodsgal's Avatar BroodyWoodsgal 02:23 PM 05-04-2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldenwillow View Post

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.  I agree on the intuition.  My gut and my heart say yes, my fears say no.  Just wanted to get these thoughts out there...

 

 

Honey what are your fears? hug2.gif


goldenwillow's Avatar goldenwillow 09:08 PM 05-04-2012

That I am not smart enough.

 

Background...  gosh... as I am typing I do not feel that I can just type this out to the world... meaning the internet. 
 


MamaMunchkin's Avatar MamaMunchkin 09:37 PM 05-04-2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldenwillow View Post

My gut and my heart say yes, my fears say no. 

 

Will you regret it if you don't try for another one?


goldenwillow's Avatar goldenwillow 01:00 PM 05-05-2012
Quote:

Will you regret it if you don't try for another one?

 

More than likely.  I fear not providing enough financially.  We always seem to have all our needs met but it would be nice to have a cushion.  Our first pregnancy/birth was really quite fantastic and I wonder if the second would follow suit.  My hope is that it would. 

 

When I say "not smart enough" I mean or should have said... I was in a horrible MVA 3 years ago that has really messed with my memory.


Thandiwe's Avatar Thandiwe 07:47 PM 05-05-2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldenwillow View Post

 

More than likely.  I fear not providing enough financially.  We always seem to have all our needs met but it would be nice to have a cushion.  Our first pregnancy/birth was really quite fantastic and I wonder if the second would follow suit.  My hope is that it would.

We decided to have our fourth because that's what we had always talked about and decided we wanted.  It was a big step to stop protecting so that I would just *end up* pregnant whenever it happened, and I (though we had been not protecting) was stunned when it happened.  I was in your shoes; I was ready for that last one, I wanted to have the last one soon so they would be close enough in age, and I wanted to complete this chapter - pregnancy always extends that "baby" phase and I'm ready to move on I think.  But I was terrified because it's been a rough road for us financially.  I *knew* in my head that the wiser thing to do would be to close the door and walk away, "So I can provide better for my older kids," but I knew I'd always wonder what would have been if we had taken the plunge for what we always talked about. 

I still wonder if it was wise, but he's on his way now so nothing but positive looking forward.  I know we're done now, though, because the truth is that each child really does change the financial game.  Not so much in the early years when we breastfeed, cloth diaper, I stay home (so no daycare), and make our own baby food.  But as they get older, they have started to want to do swim lessons, and soccer, and baseball, and go to museums and other fun things, but the truth is, it gets more difficult when the cost is multiplied by 3 or 4.  So I have to say no more than I want to because we're a one income family just getting by.  greensad.gif

 

If you feel in heart you'll regret it, I'd deeply consider having one more.  As hard as the money situation is, looking back that won't matter to me.  If we can keep meeting ends and everyone is provided for, then we're doing good.  I know we're done now, and that I won't have any regrets.  Best wishes as you journey through your decision!


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