So, for reasons mostly financial, we are having #4 at a hospital (in theory) after having #3 at home with a MW. The cost for both was the same b/c of the MW's increased rates. Our insurance refused to work with us on paying for the MW so we'd be paying out of pocket for the birth and none of it would go towards our very high annual deductible. Long story short, we can't afford both.
I've been seeing a Dr. I like a lot, I delivered #2 with her and had prenatal care for the first half of #3 with her, but I really, really don't want to deliver at the hospital (this specific one) again because of the unsupportive, borderline combative, staff.
The chances of me delivering at home are pretty great though as my last labor was under 2 hours from water breaking to delivery and by the time I would have thought I should head to the hospital to delivery there was about 45 minutes...
If I DO deliver at home, and baby is fine, should I go to the hospital?
I like the idea of getting checked out, but it seems a little silly to do so...Should I just buy the supplies in case we have an accidental home birth?
OR should I switch to a more integrated care group (that has MW's and Dr.'s on staff) and a separate birthing center near the hospital? I'm fairly confident they'll take me as they take my insurance and they just let my sister switch to their practice and she's just one week behind me.
It seems silly to switch (I'm 28 weeks), but I'm literally losing sleep fretting over the delivery.
My DH thinks we shouldn't switch since one hospital is 30 minutes away in good traffic and the other is 10 minutes away in bad traffic. He REALLY doesn't want me delivering in the car! haha...
I'm far too emotionally involved in all of this, so I'd love a fresh perspective.
First of all, I would not take the baby in to the hospital to get checked out assuming everything seemed fine. The ideal situation I see is to pay the midwife for one visit to do a check-up. With your history of short labors I think it sounds smart to have whatever you need to feel comfortable at home in case you have the baby there. The only thing I can think of that might make you feel prepared is something like old towels or chux pads and something to cut the cord with.
How about just checking out the possibly better yet farther away hospital...making an appointment and seeing how you like it? That might give you some mental peace to have more information. If you decide you like it best, I'd switch.
The difference in drive time would not concern me, because I'm thinking that you could just go to either hospital as soon as you felt any sign of labor coming on. I usually wouldn't say that, and think it's good advise to wait as long as possible, but it seems like you want to birth in the hospital and would be more comfortable there instead of worrying about the timing thing at home. Is there a place to just hang out right near either hospital, like a park or nice hospital grounds or something?
If there's a really stark difference between the two hospitals, then I don't think the possibility of the difference in drive times affecting anything is worth putting up with what you pretty much know will be a worse experience. But if you don't get an awesome vibe from the far away hospital then you don't have to worry about it anymore.
It sounds like the hospital near you might really suck, and you're just there for a doctor you like. I would just compare doctors, and hospitals, and then think about what combination will get you the best birth. I'm taking the fact that you said you really, really don't want to deliver at the closer hospital seriously.
I've switched caregivers at both 28 and 38 weeks with different pregnancies. I think it's important to birth where you feel comfortable, whether it's the hospital, a birth center or at home. If you feel like you need to switch, why not look into it?
Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds 11yo dd 9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds