Welcome and big hugs to the new people (mamasarah and bippity). I'm always amazed (and often saddened) by other women's birth stories...
Kinsey, big hugs to you (I'm kind of catching up on the past few pages of the thread, which I haven't read carefully). I guess I have a different take on your situation... you were *there* at your birth, you know what you went through--if you feel that your dh failed you, that's valid, and it's something you're going to have to process. I think it's totally normal to have a lot of mixed and/or bad feelings about cesareans and the contributions of all the players involved. In a lot of cases (yours included), we're talking about complicated, confusing, negative situations.
Let's all try to just be as supportive of each other as we can--where we're at in "digesting" our births, how we feel about them, etc. Kinsey makes a lot of insightful points about her birth experience; part of the reason she feels bad is that she feels like her C was unnecessary. That is totally valid, and a lot of women here feel that way (or feel that way in part). It makes me sad, but I honor your grief, Kinsey. Kim, I think you meant well, but what you offered what not what Kinsey needed, and she said so. I'm glad you guys worked out a truce.
Rach, I agree with Megan--your dh is being a baby! Yeah, he lost out on the experience, but *you* were the one who was cut. What you both experienced was still a birth; it just wasn't a birth that met your prior expectations (can happen with a V birth, too). Jeez... if *men* could experience pregnancy and childbirth, I think they'd be more supportive and respectful (I say this to everyone else who has complained about their dh recently, too).
And here's an update (for Amy and everyone else
). I haven't had my baby yet. I've had several rounds (4?) of increasingly "serious" contractions over the last week or so. In each round, the contrax are closer together, longer, stronger, more painful. Each time, I've thought, "This is it," and it's been kind of exciting (because I never experienced labor with ds), but they end after several hours. My ob has been great--she feels like it's a good sign, that my body is really just warming up, and one of these times, I'll actually go into "real" labor, that this is a gentle way for my body to prepare. I'm more dilated and effaced than I ever was with ds (which was zero!), and the baby is in a great position, and slowly grinding its way downward
, which is also kind of exciting. Whatever happens, it has been wonderful to experience what I've experienced so far, because it's all so new! Anyway, I'm also 5 days past my due date. My dh and doula seem a little impatient, but fortunately, my ob is not at all and has been really great. We have not discussed "what next" at all (in part because I could just go into labor without any nudging, and in part because she feels like I'm very healthy and don't need to be overly concerned about the calendar yet). I think if I make it into next week without going into labor, I will consider having my membranes stripped, and if that doesn't work, a few days later maybe AROM. As I told dh, if my waters break and I don't go into labor, I have a limited amount of time in which to have the baby (and a limited number of options to try to get labor going before having to have a repeat C), whereas with the sac intact, I have a lot more time on the calendar for my body to continue doing its thing itself. Anyway, more than you probably wanted to know.