Baby breech - so upset!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 09-19-2013, 04:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I am almost 35 weeks pregnant and my baby is breech. Long story short, had a c section with my first baby after pushing for hours and baby never moved past +1 station. No epidural and I was pushing in every position imaginable, but he never budged, he was NOT posterior, and turns out he weighed almost 10 lbs. This pregnancy I so desperately wanted to vbac, so I have spent the whole pregnancy exercising ton, doing lots of stretches, inversions, yoga, keeping my weight down (which has been a real challenge for me) and it looks like I won't even get to try for a vaginal delivery... I am going to go in for an external version, but what if it doesn't work? My provider will do breech deliveries, but I think that given my history that would be a completely stupid idea and in no way am I comfortable trying a breech delivery when my last one was very big, got stuck and judging by the massive bruise on his head seemed to be well positioned. Absolutely not an option for me.

So this will mean a c section for me and words can't describe how upset I am feeling about this. Even if the vbac attempt failed and ended in surgery again, at least I got to try for my vaginal delivery. I can't stop obsessing about this and how my prospect of an ideal birth is ruined weeks out. I am so sad. And frankly, I am so embarrassed to admit this, I am not looking forward to meeting my baby. What is wrong with me? Who thinks like that?!? I can't even enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy. Why is the prospect of having a c section causing me so much distress? At least I'll have a healthy baby which SHOULD be the only thing that matters. I mean, seriously, I would cut her out myself with a rusty spoon if I needed to keep her safe, so why am I so upset about this? I mean I am seriously losing sleep over this and am actually angry at my precious baby for ruining the birth experience... I feel so awful... Thoughts? Advice?

BTW, I am doing every thing I can to flip the baby, moxibustion, webster's, spinning babies, handstands, cold packs, hypnosis, etc, so I don't need any advice or tips on how to flip a breech, trust me I am already doing it. This baby hasn't budged from under my right rib for weeks and the butt is really far down in my pelvis. I just have a gut feeling that she isn't going to move, can't really explain it. I know there is time for her to flip, but I just don't think she is...

Vegetarian, breastfeeding, cloth diapering and EC'ing mama to my bare-foot, TV-free, free-range toddler and loving it!!!

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#2 of 2 Old 09-19-2013, 05:10 PM
 
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I just wanted to send hugs your way, Mama. My DD2 was breech up until the last three weeks of pregnancy, and moved a lot after that (all three of mine were posterier). It seems that you are doing all the right techniques to try and get your babe to turn, soI don't know I can offer any suggestions there, beyond visiting the spinningbabies.com website and seeing if there is another technique you havent tried (like homeopathic pulsatilla).

Have you tried talking to your babe, and expressing your disappointment out loud to try and work your way through what you are feeling? I have heard that sometimes babies dont want to turn when there is an emotional block, and it sounds like you might be experiencing some unresolved trauma from your last birth. You could also write or draw how you feel about your upcoming birth (if you are so inclined) to work through how you are feeling.

You still have 3-7 weeks for your little one to turn, so you don't have to give up on a VBAC just yet... Even if you DO have to have another c-section, it may help you come to terms with it, and approach the birth from a place of peace rather than anger or disappointment. I think what you are feeling is completely normal, and I hope you can find a way to work through your feelings and have a gentle birth.

Just a modifiedartist.gif trying to find some peace and regain my balance.
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