When I was in labor, I was completely dilated with an anterior lip for 6 hours straight-- during this entire time I was having transition-like contractions that had me grunting and involuntarily bearing down (felt like the reflex to throw up, but was throwing downward instead)-- the only problem was that it HURT to push and I couldn't... baby wasn't descending and I was just stuck in this limbo state of not wanting to keep her in because it hurt too bad and not wanting to push/bear down because it hurt too bad.
I tried several serious times to push, leaning over the bed standing and sitting on the birthing stool- and the downwards pressure just caused more unbearable pain in my cervix and grunting/bearing down that I couldn't stop, the only comfortable position was laying down so there was no gravity against my cervix.
Was THIS the urge to push?? Should I/could I have just pushed through the pain and gotten the lip out of the way or would that have torn it/caused it to swell (even more... apparently after 3 hours of this my midwife said it was swollen).
unresolved birth processing going on... sorry for all the questions.
This does sound similar to the urge to push except for the cervical pain that was stopping you. Unbearable pain in you cervix sounds like your body's wisdom telling you not to push yet. I have seen exaggerated position changes (like the Miles circuit) help shift a baby's position to dilate the cervix more evenly. It sounds like some of your involuntary pushing may have been trying to achieve some repositioning, too, though perhaps at the expense of some cervical swelling.
For me, the urge to push was involuntary and irresistible and the sensation of my contractions moved from cervix/uterine pain to a rectal/vaginal "pressure" ( way more intense than pressure, but not as painful as transition contractions)
Good luck with the processing!
"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters
I had this with 2 births. The first was like yours, and I panted and had a rough time for hours holding back before it was out of the way, because going with the urge to push that baby's head pushing on things gave just made it worse. And it's more oh my body is pushing, than I feel like I want to push. The second, I had my MW hold the lip out of the way to get somewhat past, had her apply arnica oil on the swelling lip and tissues, laid down flat and panted for 10 minutes, then baby flew out in one push. Third baby I didn't have that issue at all and by the time I was checked I was complete, pushed for 8 minutes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~Stay at home momma of 2 with one on the way! A 3 yr old girl, 1 yr old boy and due Aug 22nd! Semi crunchy homebirthing, breastfeeding momma as well! Married 3 yrs to a man I couldn't be happier with!
Andrea , child of God, wife of Tim , mama of L, B, J, J, G
I'm on a healthy mission.