My bowel abscessed and then ruptured. The pain was intense and sharp and continuous. All I could do was scream my head off, and nothing they gave me even took the edge off. I wanted to die.
At least with labor it comes in waves. I had transition for 7 hours and labor for 21 hours. At first I was on top of each contraction but during the last hour I got sucked underneath, and instead of going with my body, I started fearing and dreading the next one. Instead of pain, it became suffering. It felt like torture. "No no no, not again" I would utter. Where up the that point I was wiggling fingers and toes chanting the word "Open" over and over. I caved and got a shot of fentanyl. It helped me get back on top again and I finally went the last cm. Birth is hard, and I joked about my husband shooting me, but i never wanted to die.
Mama to L (7) and A (born 7/15 by VBAC)