interesting perspectives from "older" women on going "late" - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 05-12-2004, 11:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am 40 wks, 5 days today (and I'm fine with it ). There are some people around me who are impatient (but thankfully, not the ob most responsible for my care). I whined a little bit about the impatience to my mom, and I really appreciated her perspective... She didn't see what the big deal was, why everyone gets so worked up about women going "late", that it wasn't nice to mess with women's bodies to try to get them to have the babies (I think she's thinking about all the inductions and cesareans she sees among her younger co-workers, too), etc. She said a lot of nice, soothing things (thanks, Mom!).

She reminded me that *I* was born late and large (at least 10 days, to her recollection), as opposed to my brother, who was early (and 3 lbs. smaller). She said she thinks later babies are bigger, more mature, and easier to take care of (that's actually what I've seen in my peer group, too).

I also chatted with a good friend of hers, who said basically the same thing, and my aunt, who delivered my cousin 3 wks after her due date (and *breech*--both of these things are rare these days!). All were supportive, all said basically the same thing. Why get impatient, why mess with mother nature. And none of these women are at all crunchy or into natural birth at all, they're just older (my mom is almost 65). I think attitudes about due dates must have been a *lot* different 30 or 40 years ago when these women were having their babies...
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#2 of 13 Old 05-12-2004, 11:31 PM
 
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Interesting thought "late" babies being easier to care for. I was late, as was my dh, and we were both apparently very easy going babies. No allergies, no reflux, no sleep issues, just happy-go-lucky. Our ds, however, who came on his own a week early is a bit high needs.

About the due dates ... when I was pg, I went to lunch with my mom and a bunch of her friends. I guess "science" was a little less precise in those days as they all knew their due dates were flexible. No one worried about being early (well, they worried about too early) or being late. Three weeks late was not uncommon, and wasn't a huge cause for concern. I think, also, b/c inductions were far more difficult then, and b/c a c/s was considered much more risky than a v/b (and were done a ton less than now), people just waited until it was time. But now that we have the technology to do all of these interventions, and b/c these interventions are seen as "safe" (seriously debatable), and now that "science" understands the biological clock better (and can more accurately determine the 40 week gestational window), people rarely go more than 41 weeks. It makes you wonder a little.

Glad to see you're still doing well. We've been thinking about you on that "other" thread.
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#3 of 13 Old 05-12-2004, 11:58 PM
 
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Interesting. My MIL went 44 weeks with hubby, and while she wouldn't recommend going that long, she doesn't seem to think it's a bad thing.

I'm at 40 weeks today (according to the wheel thing, whatever) and am preparing myself for a barrage of friends urging me to induce. :
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#4 of 13 Old 05-13-2004, 01:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mollyeilis
I'm at 40 weeks today (according to the wheel thing, whatever) and am preparing myself for a barrage of friends urging me to induce. :
I'm glad to see I'm not the only person who isn't worried about going "late" (i'm only 33 weeks right now). I frequent another (much more mainstream) board and already women on my birth board are talking inductions, c-sections and how they're tired of being pregnant ( a few I can understand, they've had really rough pregnancies, but others just "want their bodies back" ) and at the most some of them are 37 weeks...

MY DF's mom (50) is really uninformed when it comes to childbirth, she had a c-sec for being 2.5 weeks past due (she was told he would not come on his own and would be too large to deliver vaginally- he was under 9 lbs) , and didn't breastfeed because they told her that because he hadn't come "on time" her milk had dried up... so unforunately not all older women have the "wait and see" attitude... Luckily I've also got my mom (a soon-ro-be midwifery apprentice) and my 76 year old Granny (farm born and raised, delivered her siblings,etc).
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#5 of 13 Old 05-13-2004, 07:40 PM
 
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I'm glad to see I'm not the only person who isn't worried about going "late" (i'm only 33 weeks right now). I frequent another (much more mainstream) board and already women on my birth board are talking inductions, c-sections and how they're tired of being pregnant ( a few I can understand, they've had really rough pregnancies, but others just "want their bodies back" ) and at the most some of them are 37 weeks...
I'm 34 weeks 5 days and I am definitely tired of being pregnant. I DO want my body back. I think it's a valid feeling. I'm not going to induce or ask for a C-birth or anything like that, but I sure hope this baby isn't late. At 37 weeks I'll probably be even MORE impatient to get this show on the road. Part of it is, I just can't wait to meet my baby. But I am afraid of a baby over 7.5 lbs. I want to do a drug-free birth and I really don't think I'll be able to handle anything bigger than that. Which is, of course, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Anyway, I would worry if I went late and my baby got big.
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#6 of 13 Old 05-13-2004, 08:56 PM
 
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Well, the barrage has started. Not of people telling me to induce, but asking things like "where the heck is that baby?" I JUST passed my ESTIMATED due date, people! Leave me alone! I will call when I have the baby, I promise!

Regarding weight, my midwife has been estimating a "good size", meaning 8ish pounds. I actually told her that I would consider 8 lbs to be "puny". She didn't so much like that word, but I have been looking forward to having a big kid for years now. When I was in chiropractic school and surrounded by natural-living people, most of them had 10-12 pound babies naturally.

So a mondo baby doesn't scare me. I'm really glad for that, too.

Oh, and I'm tired of being pregnant. I'm not sure I have the feeling of wanting my body back, but I would appreciate this heartburn and reflux to end! I'm actually scared to see my post-baby body, as I've gained 50 lbs (some of that is honeymoon cruise weight, not to be blamed on the then-not-yet-implanted baby) on my 5'3", already 25 lb overweight body. Yikes!

I'm tired of not being able to move quickly (except when about to throw up on DH in the middle of the night), I'm tired of getting out of breath walking up our stairs, I'm tired of shopping taking an age and a half because I have to stop and deal with b/h contractions.

But I figure the baby's still in here (see? even I'm saying "still"!) for a really good reason, and I'll let him or her go 'til s/he's finished.
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#7 of 13 Old 05-13-2004, 09:53 PM
 
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I hope I didn't offend anyone. I understand the feeling of wanting your body back. I listed that as one of the things that the women on my other board whine about because when they say it, it's included in extrememly selfish posts. These women are inducing because of this reason, and other unmedical reasons...

I'm 33 weeks and I'm pretty tired of a lot of different aspects of pregnancy (trouble breathing, constant bh while walking, not being able to take top because it wears me way out, not being able to move furniture) so I totally understand wanting your prepregnant body back It just frustrates me when those women sit and whine about it, and then *brag* that they're being induced for no good reason, then again, these are also the women who say even though they know breastfeeding is way better for the baby they will be formula feeding because they don't want a baby constantly attached to their boobs and they definately don't want their boobs to sag... Sigh.
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#8 of 13 Old 05-14-2004, 12:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CryPixie83
I hope I didn't offend anyone. I understand the feeling of wanting your body back. I listed that as one of the things that the women on my other board whine about because when they say it, it's included in extrememly selfish posts. These women are inducing because of this reason, and other unmedical reasons...

I'm 33 weeks and I'm pretty tired of a lot of different aspects of pregnancy (trouble breathing, constant bh while walking, not being able to take top because it wears me way out, not being able to move furniture) so I totally understand wanting your prepregnant body back It just frustrates me when those women sit and whine about it, and then *brag* that they're being induced for no good reason, then again, these are also the women who say even though they know breastfeeding is way better for the baby they will be formula feeding because they don't want a baby constantly attached to their boobs and they definately don't want their boobs to sag... Sigh.
You didn't offend me! Just wanted to relate that I can TOTALLY understand that feeling of "wanting your body back." I want to sleep on my tummy again, and drink a Gin and Tonic (timed as to not affect baby during breastfeeding, of course ), and be able to paint my own toenails and shave my own bikini line and not be kicked ALL DAY LONG IN THE SAME SPOT SO I HAVE A BRUISE! I want to wear my cute designer jeans, and impractical shoes, and get some highlights in my dull hair. But I would never jepoardize the health of my sweet baby just to have all that shallow stuff back a little sooner.

As far as the scary selfish women and breastfeeding, why don't you just tell them that they can have it all -- the weight loss, convenience, financial savings and better infant health associated with breastfeeding, AND perky boobs! All they have to do is get a boob lift after they're done having kids. I mean, if they're all for unnecessary surgery to save themselves a couple of weeks of discomfort, they ought to be up for it to save their tits, right?
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#9 of 13 Old 05-14-2004, 02:55 PM
 
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" All they have to do is get a boob lift after they're done having kids. I mean, if they're all for unnecessary surgery to save themselves a couple of weeks of discomfort, they ought to be up for it to save their tits, right? [/QUOTE]


:


oh you are so right!!! I love it!!
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#10 of 13 Old 05-14-2004, 03:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by HoneymoonBaby
All they have to do is get a boob lift after they're done having kids. I mean, if they're all for unnecessary surgery to save themselves a couple of weeks of discomfort, they ought to be up for it to save their tits, right?

OK, now, THAT was funny! Hmm... ya kno, I just might tell them that LOL I like to stir things up over there, might make someone think
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#11 of 13 Old 05-16-2004, 02:58 PM
 
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Congratulations all you 10 month mamas keeping your cool in the face of the immense pressure to induce, induce, induce. My VBAC was a pitocin induction at 41 weeks (or 43 weeks according to the 9th month ultrasound). The night before I went into the hospital, I did the castor oil thing. Had cramps, and a "labor" that petered out after 4 hours. Because of that initial castor oil cramp party being counted as the onset of labor, my labor was considered to be "stalled" and the induction was just a little thing to help get things back on track so I could avoid another c-section. It turned out to be a nightmare of interventions and I consider myself very lucky that we came through it OK. My third child, a son born at home this time, came at 42 weeks. The main reason I had him at home was because I had come to the conclusion that artificially inducing childbirth is dangerous and not worth the risk. So no cohosh of any color, and absolutely no castor oil. I was offered a "couple drops" of tincture to prevent a hospital induction this time around, but I turned it down. I had my own method for avoiding induction: staying the hell away from the place where they're done and the people who do them. I'm not going to argue with any mamma who believes her baby just wasn't coming out without any help. This is just my experience and my lending support to another mamma who knows her baby will be born when it's good and ready. You're right, it will.
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#12 of 13 Old 05-16-2004, 04:44 PM
 
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Thank you for that timely pep talk. It's so relevant right now, as the midwives, while cool for the moment are starting to talk biophysical profile, ultrasounds, non stress tests etc, starting at 41 weeks (rather than the 42 weeks theoretically discussed at the initial consult). Ugh.

She even admitted that they are cool with going longer, but it's the guidelines of their malpractice insurance company. Grr!
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#13 of 13 Old 05-20-2004, 03:05 PM
 
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Not sure about the overdue/size/high needs baby theory. Both my dds were born at 42 weeks, both big babies (9lb and 10-4) but one was extremely high needs, the other somewhere in between.

I wish it were that simple, then I'd just have 'easy' babies. Ha!
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