No sex drive - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 05-24-2004, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My babe is 3.5 months old and I have ZERO sex drive. Nothing. Don't even wanna think about it. I know this is normal after giving birth and also due to breastfeeding hormones. I'm just wondering what the average life span is of the "I want no sex" phase.
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#2 of 13 Old 05-24-2004, 03:00 PM
 
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This is probably not what you what to hear (or your partner either LOL!) but *for me* I didn't have sex AT ALL until my first was 5 months and my second was 8 months

Now I know alot of women who were ready to go even before their 6 week 'check-up' but I was NOT one of those women.

I say take it slow, give it time and it will come back. Try a bath together (yeah right LOL!) or some cuddle time and let it just build up from there.

Grace - photographer, wife and mom to 4 great kids (Ethan 5.00, Ainsley 4.02, Owen 12.04, and Ellis Ann 10.07) :
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#3 of 13 Old 05-25-2004, 12:50 PM
 
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Um, I still have to really try to be interested in sex. My DS is 25 months and nursing. I didn't get my libido back until my 1st weaned either. Hope you're not like me!

Rainbow.gif ~ Molly
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#4 of 13 Old 05-25-2004, 02:43 PM
 
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Mimim - I thought I was the only one! DD is almost 20 months, still nursing and I have very little interest in sex. Mostly exhausted from work and being very touched out from dd.
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#5 of 13 Old 05-26-2004, 01:33 PM
 
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Well my non-existent sex drive is here, at 7 months pregnant. I am so affected by hormones, it seems. With my first ds, we had sex a handful of times during pregnancy and even less during ds' first year. I found it very painful, and my NP said that I had the hormones of a menopausal woman. Very dry, my vagina didn't want to expand, etc. Wild yam cream helped, but it wasn't until ds let up a little on the nursing and I got my first period (at 15 months) did I get any libido.

Conversely, when I am ovulating, watch out!
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#6 of 13 Old 05-26-2004, 01:54 PM
 
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hmm, i really didn't get it back in full until ds selfweaned at 11mos.
we did have sex from 3 weeks pp though, and i don't wanna say i didn't enjoy sex at all after babe was born. but a real "drive".....naaaa.....
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#7 of 13 Old 05-26-2004, 05:32 PM
 
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Actually this is something I'm still having problems with, DS is 18 months and we stopped breastfeeding at 9 months. Right now I feel like if I never had sex again it would be no big deal. I have my yearly appointment with my midwife in two weeks and this is one of the things I plan on talking with her about.
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#8 of 13 Old 05-26-2004, 07:15 PM
 
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I'm at a year bfing full time & I think I'm just starting to get it back. If DH is ever home at a time when I'm not completely worn out, maybe I'll find out if it is back. good luck!
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#9 of 13 Old 11-14-2004, 05:49 PM
 
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Ds is an avid nurser (just turn one year) so when DH gets home I am pretty touched out. We've tried once a week but now we are at two weeks (gulp). Once we get into it I am fine. It's kind of like exercising, everything is easy once you get your sneakers on. I say just try and explain to dh that you might not feel into it but to be sensitive. You might just end up getting a back rub and you'll both fall asleep. Good luck!
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#10 of 13 Old 11-14-2004, 05:58 PM
 
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My sex drive began to resume when ds was 18 mo. This coincided with return of my menstrual cycle. My drive wasn't huge however until recently. I'm 19 weeks pregnant and still bfing ds whos now 30 mo. Go figure! I had a 4th degree episiotomy with ds (ouch!) so no real sex for about a year! (yikes).
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#11 of 13 Old 11-14-2004, 05:59 PM
 
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I agree with the PP. After awhile is almost become habit to not want it. It was almost 2 and a half years for me between PG & BF hormones. I did find a solution, but since we can't talk about sex on the boards you can PM me. I can tell you what worked for me. I went from never wanting it again to loving it again.
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#12 of 13 Old 11-15-2004, 12:12 AM
 
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I only breastfed my dd until she was 4 months because of problems, so I don't think that had anything to do with my lack of sex drive. I started wanting another baby about the time I stopped breastfeeding, which I now feel may have been connected. I began a depression when dd was about 6 months old and it didn't stop until we started trying to have another baby when she was 10 months. Then after trying for a couple months the depression came back until I conceived in May of this year. The whole time my sex drive was really low, and was only good when we first started trying. Now it's much better, and I acredit it to the change in hormones. I think if it happens again I am going to go to as many doctors as it takes until someone will help me because I think the biggest reason I was depressed was because of the low sex drive. I almost went to a psychologist, but I knew it was hormonal, not mental or emotional.
I did try progesterone, and another kind of stuff you put somewhere else, but neither worked for me.

PS. I hope I didn't say anything that's against any kind of MDC guildlines!
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#13 of 13 Old 01-10-2005, 03:47 PM
 
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This is an old thread that I just stumbled across, but I had to thank everyone for posting. I feel so much better to know that I'm not alone. I didn't really think I was alone, but there are so few forums where it seems acceptable to talk like this and I just needed to hear it.

DD is 7 months old and still nurses quite frequently (well, I pump at work while she's at daycare) and I just keep blaming my lack of desire on the nursing, but it's nice to hear that I'm not alone. DH just doesn't understand. I know he doesn't "ask" often, but it feels like he's "always" asking. I agree, that most of the time once we get started it gets better, but I have so little desire or energy for it. Then dh gets me all frustrated because he blames the lack of sex on the fact that we co-sleep. I'll just have to let him know, again, that it'll probably be a while.
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