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Easy, painless (or less pain), or orgasmic childbirth??

3K views 10 replies 11 participants last post by  llwr 
#1 ·
Some sites trying to sell products for hypnobirthing or other things like that have stories of "orgasmic" births and a lot of natural birthing sites refer to the pain of contractions as "rushes of intensity" instead of pain. Personally, and maybe because my experience in natural, home birth labor was EXTREMELY excruciating more than my wildest imagination, I feel like they are all full of sh*t. That much pain is almost traumatic. I went into my labor fully prepared for it to be this blissful, intense but painless thing after reading these stories and practicing techniques, but about 2 hours into my 18 hour labor I began to realize that everything I'd read was wrong, and honestly I felt like it was deceptive to be telling women, especially first time mothers, that "labor doesn't have to hurt" and all the other stuff. Changing terminology and making it a "mind over matter" thing is disconnecting and doesn't erase the fact that labor and childbirth is the most painful thing most people will ever feel in their lives and I feel like it sets women up to feel like they've failed.

Anyway, since it took me 10 years to finally forget my labor experience enough to feel comfortable getting pregnant again and am contemplating labor/birth again, I am wondering if anyone has any labor/birth stories where the labor and birth was TRULY easy and somewhat pain free. I want to hear from real people that this is possible, and if so did you do anything special to make it so or did you just luck out? Anyone with an orgasmic birth story?
 
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#2 ·
I have read some hypnobirth stories where women were caught off guard by the pain because they though if they did x,y,z that it would be painless. Then they ended up having interventions because they could not manage the pain. I think that if that happens it could strike fear into your heart and make the pain even worse because you just were not prepared for it. I have read the hypnobirthing book and plan to practice the breathing techniques, but I dont expect it to be painless.

I have not had a natural birth yet and I am going for vbac. I am trying to remain realistic so that I am ready to face whatever I feel head on.
 
#3 ·
I recently had a VBAC and I have to say it was not really that bad. I did very little to prepare, definitely no mind over matter type stuff, although I feel like it was very much my mind that kept things easy - that and I have to assume the birth just wasn't as painful as what many women experience. It was nothing compared to the trauma of nursing my first DD. It was nothing compared to my nightmares of an aggressive membrane sweep a few days prior to labor. And although I did decide during transition that we should probably just stop all this nonsense and head home, and I remember feeling certain that pushing the baby out was logistically impossible, I don't remember the pain of it at all, and at the time it was like I was numb to it even though I had no drugs. So, yes, I can attest to at least lower pain birth, but I believe it was very much luck of the draw.
 
#4 ·
I think some of it is in a particular woman's pain tolerance level, and the rest is meditation and focus. Yes, I agree with many of the women, panic ALWAYS intensifies the pain. In my case it not only intensifies the pain, but causes me to hyperventilate. I have hyperventilation syndrome in response to pain. The only way I made it through labor with my sanity intact, and without hyperventilating the entire time (I only hyperventilated for 30 mins or so for the car ride) was with a great birthing coach by my side. I had a doula who was able to get up in my face every time I had a contraction and coach me through it. Yes, there were times that it felt unbearable and I felt real terror, but, my doula was always able to bring me back to reality every time. She was pretty good at telling when I was starting to panic during a contraction and always managed to snap my focus back on her voice and my breathing. Was it painless? No, not even close. Was it bearable? Yes, but only because I had someone there coaching me through it all. I also call BS on what my mom told me about pushing. She told me i'd go numb and not feel anything when I pushed baby out. Lies. lol. I felt a nice painful burning ring of fire.

Actually the one part of labor I remember having less pain during was the part where I was in a tub in the bathroom at the hospital. It dulled the pain enough that I can't really say I had much while in the tub. Unfortunately there were no fans in there, and eventually it got so hot and stuffy in there that I started to panic and wanted out. Sheesh, I wish I could have stayed in there. This time around I plan to give birth in a tub at home. There will be many fans pointed at me so I don't overheat and panic, and the water will be comfy and warm. I think it will be a much more peaceful experience with less pain. I still expect some pain, and am certainly not looking forward to pushing, but I think it will be a much better experience this time.
 
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#5 · (Edited)
I do think that approaching labor with the idea that it "can" be painless (like you're referring to) may be setting women up for trouble, as a PP mentioned. I think it's wiser to approach it just open minded (when it comes to pain), and to know it's temporary, it's worth it, and it CAN be managed- your body is pretty darn good at telling you if you need to move, or to relax, or to bear down, or whatever it might be. And responding to those things generally eases a lot of the pain, IME.

With my 4th, I was REALLY surprised at how little pain I felt. It was a long birth (16 hours) but that is because with my boys, they don't come out until I go in and break my water myself (I call them membranes of steel! :grin:). But the contractions were so mild, that it was almost frustrating!! I have always pushed my babies (at least my 3 homebirth ones) out in 2 quick pushes so I don't really count what I feel there, as it's so quick. Even with my almost 10lb, 15.5" head son...out quickly!

For me, I know that what made the difference was being at home, being unhindered, and just being comfortable, overall. It didn't seem to matter whether I was sitting on my exercise ball, walking around, or in the bathtub- it was just simply a pretty mild labor. But I wasn't afraid at all, so I think that alone has potential to eliminate a lot of the pain from the experience. I enjoy birth (okay, I love it and get super excited thinking about getting to do it again), but that didn't happen until AFTER my first unassisted homebirth and I LEARNED to love it.
 
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#6 ·
I just replied to the "what hurt worse than childbirth" thread and I'll say pretty much the same thing:

I've had four 100% natural births and I never did anything to prepare for them. Mine were really quick and intense (first was 3.5 hours, second was 1 hour, last two were 2 hours - all from the very first twinge that woke me from sleep to babe in arms) and I'm really looking forward to the birth of this baby this summer. :love
In fact, I was thinking the other day about how much I love the whole process of labor/birth and how I can relate to thinking of sex in a similar way: It's so enjoyable (in different ways) and I want to enjoy it and it often feels like the climax comes too fast. It's over and then I think, "Damn, I wish that could have gone on a little longer!" But it's all good in the end. :D

I remember my last birth, I was pacing in my bedroom (probably 7cm at this point) and just focusing on my baby in my belly and I had such a strong surge of love for him and I knew I'd meet him within the night and that thought left me giddy with anticipation!

I've always remained on my feet up until baby crowns and I know that for me, movement is the best way to allow the body and the baby to do what they need to do. Lots of swaying in circles, breathing, just going inward. I like to be alone in labor, dim lights, water is good, and just know that capable hands are nearby should I need them.

I don't have any words of wisdom, and I've never felt literally "orgasmic" in labor, but I enjoy it immensely. That burst of love in my last labor could maybe be described as a "heart orgasm," if you will. :lol
 
#7 ·
I didn't have a painless birth with my first child but reading lots of stuff about it now being pregnant with my second it has dawned on me; many women have difficulty achieving orgasm, no wonder so many can't have orgasmic births! As women in our society we are painfully unaware of our own bodies and what makes them do certain things, how to get certain muscles to relax, to open up, how to allow ourselves to go with an experience and lose control instead of push back against those feelings.
 
#8 ·
I have had three homebirths and I can say honestly that it didn't get painful until transition. During transition I get so overwhelmed with fear. I am going to try hypnobirthing this time (due in august), not to try and have a painless birth per se, but to hopefully have less fear. IF that results in less pain, well great. But, I really want to have more mind control when it does get intense, if that makes sense? And absolutely, there is a huge part of me that wants painless, or orgasmic, that would be great! I keep watching this birth video on youtube wondering how...or is that possible for me?
 
#9 ·
I can see how given your experience you might think it's b.s. But I've given birth and experienced not much pain.

I feel that it was a lot of luck (having to do with my body and my babies positions), plus growing up with the important birth stories told to me being pain-free, plus relaxation (with the help of Hypnobabies), plus exercise before birth, plus being in my own environment and feeling as in control as a person can be in that situation.

I went into it believing that there were two extremes, blissful orgasm or death-like pain, with a whole range of experiences in between. I got what I got. I never felt led by anyone or any material that pain free labor was to be expected.

My frame of mind did have an affect on my perceptions because if I did not relax I could tell that it would hurt. Mostly it was intense, and I had to concentrate/relax/think positive to keep in a good frame of mind.

If I would have been in a location or with people that didn't make me feel totally comfortable, it would have been way different for me. I think there are so many factors that go into birth.
 
#11 ·
I wonder if the difference between pain and suffering would be useful to you?

My births have had pain, but were manageable. I think you can't deny that luck of the draw is present, both in the labor itself (including the length of it) and your own tolerance to pain. I do think of contractions as intensity and energy rather than pain, and in a way I enjoy the feeling of power through my body. I don't know if I feel that way because they were easy, or if they were easy because I thought of them that way --maybe a little of both. I think of it as really hard work.

I enjoy labor and birth. My last (3rd) was the easiest, with only 2 hours between the first cramp and a baby. The only time I would use the word "hurt" was at crowning. For my second, I would say transition and crowning were the times that hurt. My first was a long labor in a military hospital. It was much harder, and I got an epidural, but I don't think of unbearable pain; I remember exhaustion, lack of support, and an early urge to push.

One of the things I like about unmedicated labor is that the worst of the pain is over with the baby. When my epidural wore off with my first, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.
 
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