|Here's the kicker question: Do you think it is wrong for me to have another child/go through another pregnancy knowing how I feel (though I am still wavering)? This is where the philosophical quandry of this thread comes back in.
I don't think it's wrong, but I think because you are willing to have another child with all of these JIC things that may happen that your stance makes no sense to me.lol
|For the record, I am pr0-choice, but it has little to do with the "when does life begin" theory and everything to do with the "hands off my reproductive rights" theory- better known as "U.S. out of my Uterus".
ROFL, I think both the "hands off my reproductive rights" and "U.S. out of my Uterus" would make great advocacy t-shirts.
|Incidentally and if you don't mind me asking, what was it that happened that now makes you say that your child's birth should have been a planned c-section?
I don't mind but I will warn you that I'll probably ramble and it'll probably get long.lol
At my routine US at 18weeks they determined the baby was small(I didn't realize this until 37weeks, I thought they thought the baby was big,lol). By blood test(and ovulation) I was due Mar 30, by US I was due April 11th. My dr(who is my gp and not an obgyn) said they'd do a 2nd us later in pg which I never questioned the reason why. Skip to 30weeks when I fell and landed on handle of my 10month old's infant car seat. I went into premature labour(beyond the normal contractions I get starting at 12weeks). It stopped with rest but I was checked by my dr and things were starting to progress(cervix turning forward and very soft, no dilation or effacement). Her movments freaked me out though, they tripled in frequency and strength. I was on no sex, restricted duties until 35weeks(earliest they can deliver in town because we have no nicu). I had another US and I was measuring at being due Apr 11th. At 34 1/2weeks I decided what's 4 days. I immediatly started bleeding and I did not feel any movements for an hour even if I drank iced tea which always got her going. It was the longest 10min drive to the hospital and then 5min to going up to the ward of my life. I thought I had killed her. I don't think I've ever been so happy to hear a hb in my life. The machines showed that yes I was in early labour, the nurse couldn't tell where the bleeding was coming from so she sent me WALKING back downstairs to ER where my GP just happened to be working that day. I am still in shock that at 34 1/2weeks in early labour she made me walk. By the time I got down there I was more in labour than I had been upstairs(wonder why
). It was very busy down in ER, busier than I have ever seen it so I saw my dr's wife(who's a dr) instead of him. She called in the OBGYN because "my cervix was softer than she is comfortable with for 34 weeks). The OBGYN couldn't figure out where the bleeding was coming from either, but he said she was breech so I was on no sex, restricted duties, etc until 37 weeks now and to come in and see him in 2 weeks. My regular GP came in, asked what the OB said(communication between dr's is great!), my regular dr told me to come into the office in 2 days and that we'd start NST's twice a week. Her movements which had picked up so much after the fall just about stopped. I was doing fetal checks a few times a day because it was the only way I felt her. With the first 3 NST's they had to feed me sugared up juice, pop, crackers, toast to get her to move(or wake up she liked to fall asleep as soon as I was hooked up). With each NST it was showing contractions still. At 36 weeks I purposely planned to go for the NST after a day of shopping(which was stressful with a 12month old and a 3 1/2yo). I knew I'd be contracting more and wanted to see how strong they would show up. After I was hooked up with the first contraction I could hear her hr slow down so I looked at the monitor and watched it go to 118, 106, 92, 89, 80, then start going back up. I told her to not do that again,lol. The next contraction the same thing. After that it stayed above 100 but was low. The nurses came back in 20minutes and after looking at that said they'd monitor me for a while longer because it was still dipping down just not as low. After 40minutes they unhooked me and called my dr to get his opinion. The nurses wanted me in for a Biophysical the next day(which is a Sat and they only do emergency us's on weekends). He wanted me to be hooked up again and remonitored for 20minutes. Nothing showed up on that one so I was to take a copy of it and bring it into his office when I saw him on Tues. For some stupid reason the nurse who copied it only copied the good parts and not the parts where her hr was dropping. I had my folllowup with the OBGYN on the Monday. At 37 weeks pg with complications the idiot didn't even know why I was there, I had to move stuff off of a chair so I could sit down. He said she was no longer breech, neither me or my gp thought she had been breech in the first place. With her movements being as slow as they were I would have noticed. Here a breech baby is an automatic c-section. I had a NST right after and it was the only one that lasted the normal 20min they were supposed to. My bp was up though, I had alot of bp problems through the pg. They thought I was getting pre-eclampsia but the only sign I did not have was protein in my urine. I saw my dr on the Wed and he booked me for a Biophysical for the Friday. She barely passed it. All the requirements were there within 15minutes except for the gross & minor movements. I spent the last 15minutes(at 37 weeks pg) turning from side to side to get her to move. It was exactly at the time limit that she finally did them. At this US he said she was now due April 18th, 1 week past the other us's(it was always the same tech) and almost 3 weeks past my edd based on my blood test and ovulation. Because she passed that test my dr decided to stop the NST's, I did not like this at all and if I had to do it over I'd fake reasons to go and have them. Every time the NST showed contractions the nurses would freak out until I told them that we knew they were there, I could have faked false labour many times to get the NST's.
Skip to labour, at 41 weeks I swear my water broke. I went to the hospital the next day and the nurse said that the strip was not showing up positive and she couldn't find my cervix(which was forward and getting ready for birth a few weeks before), well I was sitting up so I'm not sure what she expected to find that way
. So I was sent home which was a good thing becasue the obgyn had been on call that weekend for c-sections. 4 days later there was no mistaking it when my water broke. I went to the hospital at 8pm, I was fingertip dilated, contracting and there were decelerations with each contraction. During the NST's the decels had only shown that 1 time. My bp was up to 175/90, the highest I've ever seen it.lol I think I was nervous because my water had never broke in it's own before. They let me rest through the night. I didn't get much sleep because I kept trying to convince myself that the contractions were getting stronger(they weren't). My dr came in at 8am I had gone to barely 2 cm. He said if there was no improvement by noon we'd consider out options for later in the day. The nurses said he was thinking of inducing labour in the evening or even the next morning if things hadn't progressed. He did not want continuous monitoring but it wanted it often just to check the decels. I did lots of walking and discovered when you're not in real labour it does not take very long to walk the ward. I was soooo bored. My dr came back at noon, he had another patient in labour so he went to her first. When he came back he asked if the contractions were stronger, I laughed. I'm just realizing this now but every time he did a check or talked about me to the nurses there were always 3 in the room, one being the head nurse for the day. Instead of inducing in the evening or next day he decided to do it right now. He tried to put an internal monitor on but I wasn't dilated enough. They were short staffed that day so they started calling in nurses who were on other floors and off duty(his other patient in labour was having the exact same complications I was). He also said that if things did not improve that they would consider a c-section. They moved me to a different room because they now realized the monitor wasn't working correctly and it wasn't picking up her movements. At 1:30 they had antibiotics and syntocinon hooked up. I only had to be augmented instead of induced because I was having contractions. The first contraction after being hooked up her heartrate dropped to 50, the nurses wanted see what the next one did before reacting. It went to 50 too so they called my dr back at the clinic and called in the GP who was on call for OB surgery(he is also very very hot!!!) I was quite happy to have him and not the obgyn. They had me lay on my left side and I had to hit the movement button every time a contraction started & stopped because the monitor wouldn't pick up contractions. The gp came and because the decels were not as low on my side that they'd leave me for now. He did manage to get an internal monitor on becuase I was now at a 3. My dh came at 2:30(he had no idea any of this was happening). At 3 the syntocinon had finally kicked in and the contractions were starting to get stronger so they moved me to the case room. At 3:50 the were very strong and I felt like I was in transition. I was not dealing with them as well as I could have been but I also knew that if I was in transition it'd be over soon. They checked me and I was still at 3 cm, 60% effaced and she wasn't engaged. I freaked, panicked, angry. I asked the nurse "what do you mean there is no change", I told dh I cannot do this anymore. I felt like I was in transition and there was no way I could go another 7 cm like this. The nurses & my dr(he had delivered the other patient) decided to turn everything off and go for the c-section. He also ordered demerol which dh approved against my wishes. I had refused the gas because I was only 3cm(I got to 8cm last time without it). While they were off calling the surgeon and getting the demerol I had another contraction, I could hear the hb going down and then the machine started alarming. Panicked I asked dh what the numbers on the machine said. I was in a peak contraction and he said they were 13 which I know the contraction numbers were alot higher so it was the hb. I told him it can't be 13. I had a couple of nurses and my dr down there right quick. I have no recolection of them doing it but they gave me the demerol(even though I gave in and had the gas by then). I think they gave me the demerol so if something did happen that I would be more numb(not that I wasn't already). The surgeon got there at 4:30, he checked me and I was 3-4cm, and he could push her head out of my pelvis so he agreed with the c-section. Dh started asking him questions about the surgery which irked me as I just wanted everything over with. The anesthesiologist asked me about what I wanted, I told him I wanted to be knocked out. The dr's went to prepare, the nurses started shaving me and they handed me a drink to take to calm your stomach before a general. I waved it off because I had a contraction. I breathed the gas in and instead of breathing it out I started pushing. My dr was outside the room so he rushed in. The internal monitors were alarming so her heartrate was down around 13 again. As soon as she crowned the nurses and my dr yelled at me to get my legs out and back as far as I could. Before I could react(other than thinking that she was already dead) they did it and my dr was reaching inside to pull her out. She had her hand by her face and was stuck. She was born 18minutes after the surgeon had checked me and I was 3-4cm and she wasn't engaged. They put her on my stomach to clamp the cord and the nurses suctioned her lungs out with the tubes. They all went to the warming table with her. It was the first time after my pg's I was completely alone after giving birth. I wanted to be anywhere but in that room. I had to force myself to open my eyes and look because if she did die I would hate myself for not seeing her alive for a few seconds. My dr came over about 10minutes later and said she was fine. After the placenta was delivered they realized there was a true knot in the cord. They figure the way the cord was bunched up there probably would have been decels anyhow. Her cord was about 2.5 feet long. There is no way to detect a knot in utero(although I wonder if a 3D or 4D us would) but due to the problems before I went into labour IMO it should have been a planned c-section. The dr's and nurses who had been in the room kept repeating "Lucky baby, lucky mom". She was born April 10th, and due to her fingernails, no vernex and how dry she was they say she was 2 weeks overdue which is right according to the blood test and my ovulation date. She was a whopping 6lbs 5oz & 19", my longest pg and smallest child. If my dh hadn't stalled the surgeon she would have been born in the elevator and most likely would have died. If my dr hadn't been outside the room she probably would have died from being stuck. It took me 3 weeks before my entire time was not consumed with going over her birth and to accept that she was alive. She was 4 weeks old before I found out what her apgars were(5 & 9). She was in isolation for her first 24hours except for 2 feedings. They had to keep suctioning her lungs out. She has had several issues over the last 2 years, most due to parts of her body not being developed enough because of the lack of supplies she was getting inutero.