You sound alot like I did when pregnant with my 1st (hospital birth). I DID end up w/the epidural, IV and constant EFM, but that's about it, and I consider myself lucky to have made it out of there w/out a c-section (thankfully, I labored at home the majority). But I still lost any semblance of control overy my birth when I accepted the epidural. I could only birth on my back, did the stupid coached to 10 pushing and had my feet in the stirrups. Ugh. My 2nd was born naturally in the water at my midwife's freestanding birthcenter. Wonderful birth!
My first suggestion, is to stay out of the hospital bed at all costs. Once they get you hooked up to the EFM (and they will want you in that bed w/the belts on ASAP and for as long as they can keep you there!), they don't like to let you go. I found labor in bed to be excrutiating. I was doing great laboring when moving, walking, leaning over DH and all the other things I did at home for the many hours of labor before going to the hospital.
Once they got me tied down to the stupid bed, it was all over. And the "shushing" from the nurses when I vocalized (I was not screaming, but moaning thru contractions), didn't help either.
I keep hearing from other new moms "I was doing ok until I had to get in bed with that monitor". Of course, mabye laying down will feel good to you in labor, you never know!
Ask them, no TELL them, to use a doppler on you and refuse to get on the bed at all. I would also seriously consider refusing all internal exams, they really tell you nothing about when babe will be here. You will know when you feel baby coming down and see the head crowning, and so will they!
Think about what relaxes you now. Write down 5 things you want your DH to do/tell you while in labor. Make him memorize them. Read Birthing From Within and Ina May Gaskin. Practice vocalizing through contractions and releasing your tension. And yes, get a doula. So worth it, I would never set foot in a hospital without one after my first experience. It is very hard to fight and birth all at the same time. And you just shouldn't have too!