Funny/crazy things your partner said or did while you were giving birth? - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-21-2004, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 08-21-2004, 01:55 PM
 
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After a 3 day labor at home, I decided I'd had enough and wanted to go on to the hospital instead of waiting longer to try to homebirth. It was a carefully made decision, made with the help of my labot assistants and midwife.
My dh decides this is the time to get on the computer and see if going to the hospital will be covered by our insurance (!). I mean, did he not think of this BEFORE the moment I am ready to go? SO I am sitting in my bedroom, alone, breathing through contractions, for like 20 or 30 minutes, and finally someone comes in and I want to know what is happening, why are we not ready to go? And my dh is on the computer, freaking out at everyone, saying "My wife is DYING!" (There was no emergency, he was just freaking out).
I'll tell you, it was not comical then, but it makes a great story now.

Another funny thing happened. When i was in labor, any noise bothered me. I mean, when I was having a contraction, no one could move, because I couldn't stand the sound of footsteps. My helpers were following me around plugging in air cleaners for white noise.
During this time, my neighbor decides to mow the yard. I am inside going crazy, and I tell my husband he has to go outside and make the neighbor stop.
Dh goes out and says," Man, I'm sorry, but...". The neigbor says "No problem," releases the bar on the mower and goes back inside. The mower was still sitting there 3 days later when I got home from the hospital.
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Old 08-21-2004, 01:56 PM
 
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The funniest- and well, not-so-convenient thing that happened with DH while I was giving birth was his deoderant.

For some reason, I think it was hormones, his deoderant was burning my sinuses. So the poor guy couldn't hold me or even be near me.

He says he was sweating a lot because he was so nervous. His deoderant must have gone into overdrive! LOL
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Old 08-21-2004, 02:49 PM
 
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I wasn't quite giving birth but when my water broke dh was at work. He had a really big visit that day, all the CEO types were coming to his store. So I called him and told him my water broke and he should probably come home. With traffic it could take him 2 hours to get home, so better sooner than later. He got off the phone and walked back over to his boss, his bosses boss, his store manager and started right back into their conversation. One of the guys was like, "who was that?" he answered that it was me, my water broke, bla bla bla. His boss was like, GO HOME and dh went into this thing about how the visit was really important for him and he still had some last minute things to do and everyone just stood there looking at him like he was nuts. All of a sudden he realizes that, yes, he should go home. It was the funniest story to hear retold....he was in such shock that we were actually going to have a baby that day he didn't know what to do.
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Old 08-21-2004, 03:09 PM
 
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My DH ate pizza-flavored combos while I was in labor with my first, and then when we were breathing through some tough contractions near the end, that aura of really nauseating pizza-flavored combo breath really got to me.

With our second, DH was sick with a real bad head cold and fever, and complained throughout the labor about how bad he felt. It is a good thing that labor was really easy, or I might have slapped him. Truth was, I didn't care THAT much, but I sure did tease him afterwards for complaining so much about his cold and how exhausted he was while his wife was in LABOR.

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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Old 08-21-2004, 03:10 PM
 
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With ds #1, my first.. we videotaped the birth. He is on video picking up a piece of .. poop...with a paper towel and throwing it away. When I asked what he was doing he said " You really don't want to know."

With dd #2. I knew she was coming fast, yet he just HAD to stop at the store for something to eat in the room (like they don't have food there ..I warned him that she was coming, but he didn't believe me. Imagine his surprise when we got through the emergency room door, and her head was crowning.

With ds#3, He and the doc were watching " Who Wants To Be A Millionare"..as I am almost at my last push, evidently the person won a million. He said ' Look! They won a million dollars..okeydokey.. the last thing at that particular second I cared about was the winner of Millionare. Yet the entire room was entranced...lol. 3 minutes later our son was born.
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Old 08-21-2004, 03:30 PM
 
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It wasn't DP it was me . We were soooo young when we had her and he did really good through the whole process. Anyway, I'm pushing, DD is crowing and with just the most awe-struck voice he says, "Honey, it's a baby!!" I look up at him and with total disgust in my voice(after 17 hours of induced labor) I said, "WTF did you think it was going to be, a puppy? " He looked like I kicked him in his heart. I feel bad about it to this day!!!

Solo Mum to 4 and loving every minute of it!!!!
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Old 08-21-2004, 03:31 PM
 
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My whole experience is a blur. After laboring with contractions 3 minutes apart for 11 days and being taken to the hospital, I was so exhausted I really don't remember much. I was told that while I was on the table (c/s) my husband (who was a firefighter, EMT II, works for a P.D. and has seen murder scenes) almost passed out. The nurse had to get him a chair and oxygen. I do remember laughing my butt off at him.

: Karen, wife to my : Mad Scientist and mama to :Emma (10-21-03).
I spend my days : : and seeing how many smilies I can fit in my siggy.
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Old 08-21-2004, 03:35 PM
 
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when i was laboring at home with tristan, i was leaving for the hospital (perhaps 2 hours before tristan would be born) and karl scrambled to find me clothes to wear.

he handed me a pair of PANTS.

i was totally out of my head in transition, but managed to scream

"PANTS? WTF?"

eta: i also have to add that later (right before he was born) i begged for drugs and karl said

sure honey, but first were going to call your mother and tell her you gave up!

Hi, I'm Tabitha. I'm a homeschooling mother of four: ds (11) dd (9) ds (7) ds (5) And I'm expecting a fifth in 2014! Find me at http://www.omelay.blogspot.com
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Old 08-21-2004, 03:57 PM
 
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I spent my labor on the toilet. We left for the hospital a bit late, so when we get to the hospital I was already pushing, and Phil goes to the bathroom because I'd been hogging the bathroom all night. There I was, pushing the baby, and I can hear him peeing FOREVER in the bathroom, so long he nearly missed the birth.

He promises that if this happens again, he'll just pee in the backyard.

(Of course, our next house will have 2 bathrooms....)
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Old 08-21-2004, 04:12 PM
 
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Okay, so I am in labor with my first for like 12 hours, my mom, a good friend and Dh are sitting quitely with me in my bedroom. I am semireclined on the bed with my shirt pulled up over my belly (which was HUGE cause I am short) and I see Dh look at me then past me at my mom and he says 'organic turkeys are on sale at Earthfare'. We all look at him funny and it takes me to get where he's coming from, I said "hun, did my belly reminded you of that?' Yeah. Everyone cracked up.

With number two my husband came home from work hungry, I wasn't about to cook as I had been in early labor all day so he warmed up some left over mexican food. What a mistake! He had to excuse himself from our very calm bedroom/birthing room and have my mom sit with me so he could go to the bathroom several times. I wouldn't let him eat any mexican for the last few weeks of this last pregnancy.

All the funny stuff from number three was either the kids or me. When I told DD she wasn't going to school cause I was gonna have the baby that day she asked me "are you having contraptions?' :LOL Later on when I was in the tub everyone was laughing because I was concerned about weather my moms watch was waterproof or not, they just couldn't believe that I was thinking that clearly during transition. That's just the way I am.
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Old 08-21-2004, 04:13 PM
 
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With my first child, nothing of interest happened.
With my twins, (c-section) I was a bit loopy. I asked DH what the burning smell was.... He replied "That my dear, would be you." And apparently I lectured the neonatologists for half an hour on the benefits of breastfeeding. With my second c-section, I was pissy due to the anesthesia and the assisting surgeon asked if I was always this way... DH told them they should see me when I'm really pissed.
My last birth, the best outta the bunch (other than my first), I was clearheaded due to a very good anesthesiologist (who gave me oxygen, God bless his doctor soul)... It was the BEST! I got to hold Adam minutes after his birth. He was and is beautiful. But, nothing really amusing other than I talked the recovery nurses' heads off. I was BOUNCY!

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Old 08-21-2004, 04:21 PM
 
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i had my husband read the bradley method book during my last months of pregnancy, and we talked about how important relaxation was. we practiced keeping my whole body relaxed during contractions.

so i had been pushing for a while, was on all fours and was really bearing down, when dh says "ok honey, relax those hands". :LOL i told him to shut up and kept pushing...
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Old 08-21-2004, 04:24 PM
 
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My dp slept.

And slept. And slept. And slept.

I woke up that morning around 7 AM, soaked. Shook him awake, "Babe, I think my water broke." He groaned and went back to sleep. I called my OB who told me to come to his office at 9, so I took a shower, got dressed, packed my bag for the hospital (I was still a couple weeks from my due date and wasn't totally prepared). He continued to snooze. Finally he woke up and we went to the doctor, who checked me and sent me across the street to the hospital. Got admitted, got settled in the room, filled out paperwork, dp went back to sleep.

To cut a long story short, he slept off and on through the whole 22 hours I was in labor. To his credit he was awake for the pushing part at least

Am going to have the next one at home so I can personally ply him with coffee
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Old 08-21-2004, 04:51 PM
 
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With our first son I was sooo hungry and I wanted to eat so bad, but of course they wouldn't let me incase I might need to have a c-section. Whatever. Dh ended up sneeking me in food, and stood watch at the door in order to warn me incase the wadren (nurse) came back.

With my youngest DS I had a home birth, and when I got hungry for a big mac, Dh went and got me and midwives some Combo #1's. At the drive threw he told them that they better hurry cause I'm in labour and all I want in a big mac. They ended up giving him our meals for free.
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Old 08-21-2004, 05:20 PM
 
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Not really funny, but when I had DD (c-section) and she cried that first cry, I started crying and he asked me "What are you crying for?" DUH!

When I was in labor with my oldest DS (attempted VBAC) he went out for a smoke break (48 hours of labor, I won't complain TOO much) and my dad was left with me...laying back in the recliner...and he fell asleep on me and I had no way of calling the nurses or anything and was feeling REALLY nauseous...I ended up throwing the pillow at my dad. :LOL

DH almost passed out with DS#2, but only because I had another c-section and by the time they had him suited up and in there, my spinal hadn't taken and I had to go under general. They never told him that I was under and that they intubated me. He walked in and saw me and freaked out.
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Old 08-21-2004, 05:38 PM
 
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My dh made Stovetop stuffing and kept trying to shove it down my throat while I was in hard labor. He put chapstick on my lips while I was pushing 'to distract me'

I didn't write about any of those things in my birth story :LOL

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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Old 08-21-2004, 07:19 PM
 
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With ds, my midwife had to hold my cervix open, and she was basically up to her elbow, and dh was standing there (because, really, what could he do?) and he kept saying "Does it hurt?"

I didn't have the breath to scream at him, thank goodness. I shudder to think what would have come out of my mouth.

Then, when ds came out, he was born in the caul, dh was completely disgusted and announced that he didn't think he could ever have sex with me again, after seeing that come out of me.

At the time I was like, great, that's just fine. :LOL

With dd, dh caught her as she came out, and he was SO proud of himself. He gave me the cutest smile I've ever seen and said, "I did it, I caught her, and it wasn't like catching a football at all."

:LOL
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Old 08-21-2004, 07:35 PM
 
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My DH always manages to tell me when I am in transition, and I am dying that "it doesn't hurt that bad!" I told him this past time (with #6) that until he pushes a baby out of his penis hole, not to tell me that it doesn't hurt bad. He didn't say anything else again.
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Old 08-21-2004, 08:06 PM
 
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My contractions were coming about five minutes apart, it was time to go and I was barefoot. I did not want to put my shoes on (I really don't know why, I just knew I didn't.) My SO, carrying my shoes, had to chase me around the dining room table a few times before he could catch me and convince me to sit down to get my shoes on.

My BIL, who was 20 years old and had never even had a serious girlfriend, happened to be visiting when I went into labor, so he was in the backseat of the car as we drove to the hospital. In between contractions, my SO asked "Do you think they'll be able to tell we had sex?" I was dumbstuck as I pointed at my huge belly and said, "Uh, yes!" Then SO says, "No, I mean, will they be able to tell we had sex this morning?" The look on my BIL's face was priceless.
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Old 08-21-2004, 08:06 PM
 
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When we were still trying for a vaginal with DS by using the "monkey bar" across the foot of the bed for me to hold onto for crouching, DH was in charge of making sure my feet got stretched out and relaxed between contractions. At some point in that portion of the process, he looks up at me and asks "are we having fun yet?" Out of the corner of my eye, I see the ob and nurse each take a step back, waiting for the outburst from me. I just glared at him. If looks could kill he'd've been a little pile of ash.

Fortunately, looks don't kill.

When I was in labor with DD, attempting a VBAC and once again having seriously bad back labor, he found that the knobs for adjusting the bed manually made really good counter-pressure tools. Whatever works!!!!

He had the sense not to ask me if we were having fun though.

"What will you do once you know?"
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Old 08-21-2004, 11:24 PM
 
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My husband likes to place bets on football games, doesn't really bother me, except while I'm pushing. He had tried to get the bet in earlier, but the friend he was talking to on the phone couldn't get the website to load. So his friend went to our house which has a cable modem and my husband was giving him directions on how to place the bet while I was pushing out our daughter. I finally yelled at him to get off the phone.
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Old 08-22-2004, 12:04 AM
 
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DH kept pointing out to me each time I pooped. :LOL

Thanks, honey!
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Old 08-22-2004, 12:14 AM
 
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Some of these are hilarious! :LOL

You would have to know my dh to find this funny, but during my last 2 labors that were harder and more intense than my first.. he is telling me to calm down, you can do this etc. He freaks out so easily about basic little things and to hear him tell someone else, especially a half crazy wife in horrid transition to calm down is funny. Well now it is when I think about it but it wasn't then, although I really needed to hear it so I wouldn't push too early. Of course with my 2nd labor I was swearing and shaking in the bed so I'm sure he thought he was trying to help :.
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Old 08-22-2004, 01:07 AM
 
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You know, this reminds me of a really funny story when I first went into labour with my first child. I was a single mom, living at home with my parents. I had just gotten home from going to a job interview at 39 weeks pregnant (!) and I was going to lay down. I was going into the restroom and my water broke. My father came to ask me if I wanted something to eat (such a love) and I told him my water had broke. He just lost it entirely and kept telling me over and over to CALM DOWN CALM DOWN CALM DOWN. For anyone who knows my dad, this is freakin' hilarious b/c he is always so calm, but not when his little girl is in labour. :LOL
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Old 08-22-2004, 01:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tabitha
eta: i also have to add that later (right before he was born) i begged for drugs and karl said

sure honey, but first were going to call your mother and tell her you gave up!
:LOL : I'm sorry but that's just hilarious!

hang.gif  

 

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Old 08-22-2004, 02:06 AM
 
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After laboring at home for 23 hours we decided that it was time to go to the birth center that was an hour away. It took me forever to talk myself off of the toilet (sitting backwards facing the wall was the only way I was hanging in there) so I go to put on some sweat pants and a tshirt and my house shoes. I get loaded in the back seat and off we go with me telling DH to drive fast. Only he stops at the corner to get out of the car to mail the power bill. I'm in transistion with an hour drive and he gets out to mail the freaking power bill. Not a good idea. But I was too focused to say anything at the time.

(BTW we had know idea how far along I was but when we got to the birthcenter I was at 10).
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Old 08-22-2004, 03:14 AM
 
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These are hilarious!

I didn't really have anything funny happen. I had to have an emergency c section. DH later told me that I was hooked up to one of those heart monitors...the machines with the lines. Anyway, he said he wouldn't look at it bc every time he sees one on TV, someone dies. What a doofus.
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Old 08-22-2004, 03:14 AM
 
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After getting to the hospital for "bloodwork" to discover I was 7cm and 100% I was in total shock that my second son was coming 4 weeks early. Neither DH nor I were really prepared for this so there I am in bed, trying for my VBAC and in between pushes I told DH I was thirsty. The poor guy, he meant well but in the process of offering me some ice water, he poured it all down my front. I still tease him about that.

Betty *(.)(.)* mama to: DS1 (12) DS2 (11) DS3 (8)
(12/26/06) (5/11/09) (10/7/09)x2

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Old 08-22-2004, 03:18 AM
 
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With my first birth I let the midwife (after much coercion on her part) break my water, and when the fluid hit my thighs I said - "Oh! it's hot!" Both the midwife and my mom looked at me funny and said "Umm.. it's 98.6 degrees..."

With my second, we had just moved into our house and DH was still adjusting to his awful commute. After the midwives and my friend got to the house he kinda slinked out of the room and fell asleep on the couch. (He now says there were too many women around - me + 5 others) He snores LOUD and it was so funny because it was bothering everyone but me - and I usually make him sleep in the guest room because it's so annoying. When I started to push, we forgot about him snoring down there, and at the last minute my friend woke him up to come and catch the baby!
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