Cesarean Support Circle-October 2004 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 116 Old 10-23-2004, 04:47 PM
 
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Both times it was about 3 hours from birth until I could see them (DH and our families were able to see them about 10 minutes after birth). I had a general each time, so I was a long time in recovery. When I was brought to my room and family, I was kind of out of it, but I tried breastfeeding right away. Thankfully they both took to it.

I had planned to be awake the second time, but circumstances didn't permit it and I was devestated!! That was the big thing I felt I needed for me to accept another c-section and it tore me apart when I was told I'd have to be put to sleep again .

There are some things I'm still trying to deal with from my hospital experience that is making it hard. I still haven't made my 6 week check up appointment as I don't want to face the OB again (it's been 2 and a half months). I am fine otherwise, just resentful at the care (or lack of : ) that I got.
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#62 of 116 Old 10-23-2004, 06:29 PM
 
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s to you bwlyde

Hospital experiences can be so negative! I had one nurse actually tell me that I was breastfeeding wrong, I needed to supplement and that I would not be able to provide for my dd.

What a crock, I am still bfing three years later!
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#63 of 116 Old 10-24-2004, 12:48 AM
 
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Willow's birth story: http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=208575
i forgot to put this in my story, but it's definitely something that's affecting me emotionally. my OB had actually gotten hostile when i gave her my birth plan around 36 weeks, i think she thought "oh great yet another birth plan mom" ... her attitude changed SO much, i think after she realized i was really committed to my birth plan. i remember when we were talking about Willow not dropping from -3, i reached for her hand and she sat on the bed with me and held my hand. she came to see me the day after surgery and sat on the bed and held my hand again and even hugged me and said i had done such a good job. that really got to me, seeing her more as a person than a doctor. that being said, just the thought of the 6-week exam leaves me icy cold! i'll probably skip it unless something's troubling me.

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#64 of 116 Old 10-24-2004, 01:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srmina
What I want to know is about after the c/s. Since this time I will be awake, I want to be able to hold the baby ASAP, nurse ASAP, be in a room with the baby, etc. How long did the ladies here have to wait before being able to do these things?
i wasn't able to hold or touch Willow in the OR because the spinal numbed my whole body and i couldn't move. as soon as they took me back to my room, Willow was already there and my doula latched her on for me! i definitely recommend having someone help you with that first latch just in case you can't, it was weird just lying there and not feeling it but it was so awesome seeing the amazed look on her face when she tasted her first mama-milk (if we hadn't done that it would have been another hour-and-a-half!) i was able to room in only because my husband took care of me, he latched her on when i was too weak to sit up or roll to my side.

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#65 of 116 Old 10-24-2004, 06:03 PM
 
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Tracy left the Or with me and didn't leave my side. Bryce was taken to the nursey fo rthe 25 minute sew up and 10 minutes in my room Then he came to me.

Mell-- I was afrad my ob would have the same reaction with my bp. I handed it to her and said, This is what I want. What can you do about it??

Sh elooked it over and was very pleased. She lvoed informed moms and loved beibng informed about what they wanted. She would do everything possible to make my list happen. She was going to ask me towrite a bp but I handed it to her before she got the chance.

I think the biggest thing not followed was that I wanted to ee the placenta. I didn't get to I'm sure if I would have thoguht about it I could have. But I didn't even remember until 3 weeks later!

The stuff in my bp about Bryce and no paci wasn't followed but they asked permission first. He was in special care and was upset unless sucking. So, I ok'ed it. He doesn' ake paci now and hasn' since he was about 3 months old.

A Bp is the best thing you can do, whether or not your ob likes it. Then you have your wishes in writing. They have acopy and if you need it for later..why did you do this when you were specificlly instructed NOT to?? type thing you have ammo.

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#66 of 116 Old 10-25-2004, 12:19 AM
 
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WARNING: MAY BE TMI....







I'm new and will have to post my birth trauma story later but had a question...

I had Amaya by unplanned C-section in April 2004. I got a Depo shot in the hospital (bad, I know) and though I never bleed with Depo, continued to bleed until 3 months after I had her. Then I stopped at about the time I got the second shot for about 3 weeks, and then started up again and have been bleeding since then (maybe TMI... sorry!) and soemtimes will see clots/tissue... I don't have medical insurance anymore, so I'm worried about it and not sure if it's normal or could be retained placenta or what!!

Has anyone had a similar experience after their C/S ??

Amy
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#67 of 116 Old 10-25-2004, 10:41 AM
 
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I've never heard of that... but I don't know much about Depo. I didn't evn know they could give it to you so early PP.

You might want to ask in the Health and Healing forum if no one here can help ya.

Oh and welcome!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#68 of 116 Old 10-25-2004, 11:22 AM
 
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I've never heard of anything like that either. In fact, I was told that most women who have c/s (where I delivered) actually have less bleeding, because the doctor does a bit of cleaning up afterwards.

My sister got a shot of depo in the delivery room after each of her children was born. Her pp bleeding was very short, both times, and she didn't get her periods until she went off of the shot.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#69 of 116 Old 10-25-2004, 09:51 PM
 
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with DS they let me see him while they were sewing me up. that was after they cleaned him and weighed him. as though he would weigh in differently if they had waited an hour. then I did not have him in recovery. they did not bring him to me until four hours later after I was in my room screaming at everyone to bring me my baby. I had PPD after his birth and still relive it daily. its a long long story.
While I still ended up with an unplanned c/s for DD I was adamant before and during the durgery that I get her ASAP. DH was all over the nurses and I got my baby right away, had her in recovery and she has been with me every moment since. Thank God, because if I had to relive my hospital expereince with DS I would be in therapy right now, and am actually considering it anyway, since DD is not even 8 weeks and already I am thnking about #3 and planning a HBA2C.
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#70 of 116 Old 10-27-2004, 10:40 PM
 
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Wow - tons of activity since I was here last!

I had my first (and only, so far) baby as a planned c-section due to breech presentation. Tried everything, and the little guy just wouldn't turn!

I too have a hard time reading and hearing other women's birth stories, but I'm happy to report that it has gotten better and easier with time. I'm sad that I didn't get to experience labor, and sometimes my scar itches and I get angry about it all again, but for the most part I'm getting past it. DS is so wonderful and so exciting every day that I just can't spend a lot of energy on yesterday.

I had a great OB who I was referred to by my homebirth midwives - he was taking care of another patient of theirs who was also breech (our babies were born 3 days apart). He was really supportive and just a wonderful guy. I went to him to get a version, and he was totally supportive of the idea that if the version succeeded I would go on with my original plan to have a homebirth. Needless to say, it didn't succeed, and he ended up delivering my little guy.

I wrote a birth plan, which really helped me to take some ownership in my c/s. Going from planned homebirth to planned c/s was a big transition for me, and I did a ton of journaling during that time to work through my feelings and concerns. My birth plan is in that journal at http://www.livejournal.com/users/tammylc/276736.html. My "processing" of the transition starts around April 6th, if anyone's interested in checking out those journal entries. I also got a lot of support from all of the wonderful mamas here at MDC.

Thanks to all of the mental preparation I was able to do, DS's birth was mostly a pretty positive experience for me. DH was touching him within a couple of minutes of him being born and held him beside my head as they were stitching me up. We were only separated for a little while right at the end of my surgery before they moved me to recovery, and DH was with him the whole time. As soon as we got to recovery I was able to hold DS and try to nurse him. Nursing turned out to be another huge challenge, but eventually we got over that too, and six months later DS is a total boob man!

Well, just wanted to throw out some of my experiences. I hope I can help other women who are facing similar circumstances. I've gotten so much help and support from this website that I want to be able to give back to others!
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#71 of 116 Old 10-28-2004, 01:10 AM
 
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Thanks ladies for sharing all of your post c-section experiences with me. I talked to my midwife about it this week (I see both a midwife and an OB at alternating visits...much prefer the midwife LOL!) and she said that the hospital staff will be very supportive of nursing in the recovery room, but that I should expect to need a lot of help at first. She also said dh can stay with the baby the entire time when I am getting sewed up. The bad news is that she said they typically will not allow a doula or other individual (even her!) to trade off with dh in the operating room. What I had hoped to do is have my dh go with the baby and then have my mom or a doula take his place while they finished up with me. So I will have to rethink that.

I worked with the lactation consultants a lot when my dd was born (since I pumped exclusively, things were a bit tricky) and I have confidence that I can get one in to help me within an hour or two of birth. The nurses at my hospital are also really pro-bf...I am not sure that I would have gone through with it the last time if it had not been for their encouragement. The prospect of pumping 10 times a day for months was really kind of daunting, especially after my oh-so-dramatic c-section.

Does anyone know if there are fill-in-the-blank birth plans available for c-sections anywhere? Thanks!
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#72 of 116 Old 10-28-2004, 11:17 PM
 
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I am the proud owner of about a thousand stretchmarks and one perfect c/s incision scar!!!!

Listen ladies, I really never wanted a c/s. I fought it till the very end. In reality, I fought it almost to my death. But, after 36 hours of labor, water already broken, my bp 200/100, baby's bp going up and a dialation of 3 cm, it was PAINFULLY obvious that a c/s was going to have to be performed.

I did feel guilty, I felt cheated...and then I decided that I needed to feel blessed instead. I had a baby! My beautiful boy! I mean, how many women in this world can't have a baby at all?

So, c/s moms, I say to you - I am proud of all of you. Every one of you "birthed" your babies. What a sacrifice - (grafic)you got cut open like a watermelon, partially gutted and then had everything shoved back inside of you for your babies! You are wonderful! Who would choose to have major surgery and be in pain for weeks afterward to possilby save another person? A true, wonderful, giving momma, that's who!

- Not that I am slighting natural births - that is asacrifice, too.

I just want you guys to feel good about what you have done and be proud of it! I can't stand to see mommas who are upset!

Mommas - BRAVO!!!!!
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#73 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 12:35 AM
 
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Did any of you other C/S mamas have a hard time BFing?

I tried in complete agony to do it but had no supply... I tried fenugreek, domperidone, pumping with a hospital grade pump constantly, mother's milk tea, a lactation aid, went to 3 lactation consultants... ugh.. I still feel guilty.

I have read some articles that say there is a hormone that you release when you have a vaginal birth that helps with BM supply and that article is the only thing that has made me lose the guilt... trying to blame the lack of supply on the C/S.

Did anyone else have issues?
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#74 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 09:02 AM
 
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Amy - it sounds lke you did absolutely everything you could to try to get breastfeeding established. It's rare, but sometimes there are women who really just can't make enough. Please don't feel guilty - you did your best, and it's for your exact situation that formula should exist.

We had a hard time breastfeeding, but it didn't have anything to do with my c/s. My son had tongue tie and a small mouth, and didn't latch on for the first 29 hours. Then he figured it out, nursed 8 times in 15 hours, and brought my milk in 2 1/2 days postpartum. Whereupon his tongue tie and small mouth completely prevented him from latching on to my engorged breasts. Nipple shields got him on the breast until we could get his tongue clipped, and a couple of weeks later he weaned off of them and has been a booby boy every since.
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#75 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 09:10 AM
 
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I had a hard time getting my son latched on, and he was a vaginal birth; it was because I didn't get a chance to nurse him for nearly two days.

My daughter (c/s) latched on right away-- spent her first night outside the womb pretty firmly attached to my breast. I'm sorry that you had such difficulties.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#76 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 10:46 AM
 
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Amy-- I had a hard tome establishing supplywith Tracy. He was about 7 days oldbefore milk came in. I had no idea it wasn't ehre until it showed up. I didn't supplement at all. I was so new that I didn't realize there wasn't any milk there! I ahd some colostrum but not a lot.

Tracy was taken at 38 weeks after a failed induction.

I've heard its common for it to happen because the body doesn't always realize its delivered because you didn't "finish" labor.

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#77 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 12:18 PM
 
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My Milk was also delayed coming in...came in about the fourth day. I had to fight like cats and dogs to avoid supplementing and the nurses were really on me to put dd in the nursery and were constantly telling me my latch sucked!

The first night in the hospital after the csection was okay, the nurses helped but the second day and night was hell, nurses all over us to do things their way. I understand they have a job to do but it went against ever mothering instinct I had. So the second night I signed dd and I out and went home.

After that the breastfeeding went much better, we stayed in bed and nursed nonstop while I drank rickmilk tea and squirted fennugreek tincture under my tongue.

I had a friend a few years before this not succeed at breastfeeding and it just about did her in, so I was very determined at that point "To get something right".

Thankfully I do not see things so black and white now.
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#78 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 10:02 PM
 
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thanks veggiemomma. its good to hear that. its hard though because i know so many people see a c/s as the easy way out. a friend of mine who had a difficult vag birth thinks i am crazy for being so pro-VBAC etc. A mutual friend showed her a picture of her c/s incision and this friend said she was surprised- she had no idea that it looked like that and that it was so big, etc. it made me a little happy that she at least realized that hey- these moms have given birth too. just in a different way.

as far as BFing

with DS we had trouble BFing and I gave up. I am still BFing DD. But I think it had less to do with the c/s for me than the fact that with DS, he was in the NICU and got bottles there, and with DD I had a GREAT LC who helped me.

Is it insane to want another baby just for 'another chance' at birth? I know it is. But I cant help but feel that way. Anyone else?
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#79 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 10:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srmina
The bad news is that she said they typically will not allow a doula or other individual (even her!) to trade off with dh in the operating room. What I had hoped to do is have my dh go with the baby and then have my mom or a doula take his place while they finished up with me. So I will have to rethink that.
the reason my doula was able to be with me in the OR is that she's also a CNA and knew sterile field procedures. she asked my OB directly if she could be there, explained she knew exactly how to scrub up and what to do/not do in the OR. so i think if you have a doula with any kind of medical background, it really helps.

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#80 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 11:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommytoTwo
Is it insane to want another baby just for 'another chance' at birth? I know it is. But I cant help but feel that way. Anyone else?
Totally. I wasn't sure I wanted one baby, but now that he's here I keep thinking about the next one. And I know that I a big part of that is wanting a chance to have the homebirth I'd been hoping for. Which is the dumbest reason ever to have a baby!

And I wonder how I'd feel if my next baby ended up breech and had to be a c/s too?

Ugh. I'm tired. Time to go crawl in bed with the one baby I do have! G'night, mamas.
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#81 of 116 Old 10-29-2004, 11:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommytoTwo
Is it insane to want another baby just for 'another chance' at birth? I know it is. But I cant help but feel that way. Anyone else?
Oh Yeah, I felt that way for a long time too.

Dh and I always talked about how we wanted to be a family of three, just him and I and our child. Then the c/s happened and I really struggled with how I felt.

It has taken about three years but I am at peace finally. And when that peace arrived so did an invitation to attend my friend's homebirth. I am so excited and happy to be part of her experience. To me this is the final stage of my healing.

It was kinda like that old saying, when you are looking for love you never find it. When you are finally ok with being alone you find your soulmate. I finally surrendered and stopped the constant questioning of dd's birth and found the courage to be empowered by it. Then the invitation came, to see a homebirth up close.

to you all.
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#82 of 116 Old 10-30-2004, 02:23 PM
 
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Hi guys.

I just had an unplanned cesarean on Monday, after attempting a home VBAC with my midwife. I felt like having the cesarean was the right decision at the time, but I am not so sure now. I am feeling pretty sad, especially since this is going to be our last baby and I really wanted to birth naturally. Having a VBAC was so important to me.

We transported to the hospital after a couple days of prodromal labor, a couple days of early and active labor, and 4 days of ruptured membranes. We tried cohosh induction, castor oil, everything...but we just couldn't get productive contractions. I decided to transport because I was in a lot of pain, and I hadn't slept in days. I am really questioning this whole decision now.

Anyway, just checking in.
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#83 of 116 Old 10-30-2004, 02:46 PM
 
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LM-- I've been waiting for your update. I'm sorry about your vbac but it sounds like you made the right decision.

I'm glad Levi is here. I love that name

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#84 of 116 Old 11-04-2004, 12:07 PM
 
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hi mamas

another weird side effect of c-birth ... the baby tv shows drive me nuts! Baby Story and Birth Day. i keep seeing stories where they do so many things "wrong" - asking for induction, or allowing pitocin because they just showed up at the hospital too early (and have "failure to be patient") or getting epidurals and having to lie still for the rest of the labor - and they are having the vaginal births they wanted. i know it's petty to be envious, but damn i feel like i did everything "right" because i educated myself, i enlisted lots of support, i made such careful decisions. it's really in the hands of Fate, i know that, but i honestly believed that by working so hard before the birth i could help fate be in my favor a bit, you know? so it's very hard to see/hear other women who do all the stereotypical "wrong" things having such beautiful vaginal births.

well, then again the ones who get that epidural didn't even get to truly feel their vaginal birth, so i still feel very blessed i went through the labor that i did, it truly was a life-changing beautiful experience, something to hold in my heart forever and tell my daughter someday

i'm still going through the "you have a healthy baby so just get over it" thoughts and guilting myself all day. anyone else? how long does that last?

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#85 of 116 Old 11-04-2004, 12:26 PM
 
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You know, I couldn't watch those birth shows after my son's birth, because I was so angry about it and because they never showed a woman in my situation. When I finally saw a woman who was in day one of my four and a half day labor odessy, they did a section on her. I could have spit nails-- I knew that I was right and finally when they did show a few women who had long labors, their water broke, they didn't progress, the baby passed meconium, they developed fevers... they got their sections. I was left to suffer, to have a siezure, to black out from the pain, to swell up like a hot air balloon, and finally to have my son pulled out by a glorified vaccuum cleaner while my friends and family looked on in horror and agony. There was no beautiful, triumphant moment when I got to see and hold my brand new baby, just a rush of doctors and nurses trying to get him to breathe and keep me from having another siezure. No happy music played in the background, and the people crying were shedding tears of agony, not joy.

I know the pain of traumatic birth, even though my section was not a bad experience at all. I can watch those birth shows again, and I feel sorry for so many of the women who don't know what their options are, who spend all their energy fighting their own bodies instead of working with them, who aren't educated enough in the process to demand what they want or have their advocates do it for them.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#86 of 116 Old 11-04-2004, 12:33 PM
 
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After my section, I watched those shows compulsively. Not sure why.

And Meli, is there an ICAN group that meets near you? They really helped to validate my feelings, and I started accepting that I had experienced something traumatic, and having a healthy baby wasn't the only thing in play.
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#87 of 116 Old 11-04-2004, 09:22 PM
 
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I can mourn the loss of my vaginal birth, while still being thrilled that I have a healthy beautiful baby in my life. The two are not the same, and the one does not invalidate the other. Let yourself grieve - it's okay!

I'm 6 months postpartum now, and it's slowly become easier for me to hear and read birth stories again. I still get a little sad occasionally, but at this point I'm pretty busy keeping up with my almost-sitting, almost-crawling, happy little boy, and don't have much time to get melancholy anymore!
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#88 of 116 Old 11-05-2004, 03:37 PM
 
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Hi everyone, don't know how I missed this thread, but I did...I am new around here, I gave birth to my darling daughter by c-sec 8 weeks ago...I wanted a homebirth and labored for one, but dd didn't engage, so we went to the hospital, just in case... she still didn't engage even after 18 hours of labor, dilating to 7cm and water breaking...sigh, so I had a section.

I have not yet come to terms with it, I kind of thought I had, but it keeps coming back on me. I know my section was neccessary and not caused by intervention, the first intervention was the c-sec so I am okay that way, but loosing my homebirth and then my vaginal birth, and then the hospital stay...I'm still so sad about it...and I'm not sure how to move on...

Anyway, thanks for just being here...I'll be back
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#89 of 116 Old 11-06-2004, 07:09 PM
 
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Melly I could've written your post...I know someone who is going to try to VBAC even though she isnt even sure she wants to... if she VBACs I'll cry. How can I try SO hard for something I dont get and other people fall ass backwards into it?
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#90 of 116 Old 11-06-2004, 07:20 PM
 
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I'm glad i found this board. I too had to have a C section with my daughter after laboirng for 31 hours. I even got to the pushing session of it. When my water broke, I was on dialted a fingertip. She had mecconium so I was unable to labor in the tub. Finally I decided it was best for me to have an epidural so that I could get some rest. They gave me a pitocin later because I was progressing to slowly. I probably would have been laboring longer because I wasn't able to relax enough. I still think up scenarios around my head. What I should have done differently. I hpe to have a VBAC next time. I think I'm okay with it, but then I have my days in which I still cry over it.
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