i haven't yet read the entire thread, so this may already have been mentioned, but i strongly recommend the book "Birthing From Within" for any mama.
i think i may be a masochist ... i LOVED labor! i knew it was going to be a pain unlike i'd ever felt before, but i also was so psyched that it would be pain that would bring my daughter into my arms. i mean, who wouldn't go through a heaven and earth of pain just to finally meet that precious little being that's been squiggling in their tummy?
i knew i couldn't die from pain. i knew that women were birthing all over the earth while i was, we were all in it together. towards the end of the pregancy, i felt like i was standing in line at an amusement park to ride the biggest, baddest rollercoaster! scared, but excited, too. and sure enough, labor was just like riding a HUGE rollercoaster, whoooosh here comes a surge, WOW that's a big hill, whoaaaaa down the other side! i just went along for the ride.
one thing that helped me was the mindest of not remembering the last surge, and not anticipating the next one. i just concentrated on what was happening in the moment. it was so beautiful, i felt like my daughter and i were dancing together, locked into a primal rhythm. i very much regret that i needed a c-birth and didn't get to experience the "ring of fire" because after that, i would have experienced what i have heard is the most beautiful sensation ever, the baby sliding out.
ETA: my active labor was 30 hours total. i went into transition 3 or 4 times, my daughter was "bouncing" down into the birth canal and then back up again on her short, wrapped cord. i got lost in Laborland, i didn't know what hour it was, or when i was in transition. having two doulas was surely what helped me the most. towards the end i started tensing because my fibromyalgia and arthritis was acting up and it was hurting worse than the surges ... they'd remind me to not tense against the pain by just saying "ragdoll." to this day, if i'm in pain, i say "ragdoll" to myself and go limp, it works well.
when i knew i needed a cesarean, then it HURT. i mean, i tensed against every surge and it was like a nightmare. i suddenly hated my body (i didn't know why she wasn't descending at the time) so i hated the pain, i knew it wasn't productive and it was horrific.
i hope this helps. i mean, knowing from my story and other mama's stories that how you perceive pain affects your labor. enjoy your ride!! {{{{{hugs mama}}}}}