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#271 of 299 Old 07-28-2006, 12:38 AM
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I love this thread

When I was just shy of 42 weeks preg with DD we went to the (military) OB office to see my CNM for a NST. The nurse checking me in said "Oh they wrote your due date wrong here, it says you were due March 28" when I told her that was the correct date she said "Really, we don't let people go that long." I guess I just didn't ask for permission.

My Stepsister's OB told her there was no way she could deliver a baby over 6 pounds vaginally and tried to get her to schedule a c-section. She refused but agreed to schedule an induction at 39 weeks. She gave birth vaginally (not naturally ladies ) to a 7 lb 2 oz baby boy. Idiot doctor.

My MIL told me not to raise my hands over my head or I would tangle the cord. I sarcastically asked her how I was supposed to wash my hair for the next few months. She very seriously explained that I had to bend over in the shower

I always get the "boy and a girl, perfect family, you can stop" and it makes me so mad b/c I am trying to talk DH into having 2 more. I usually say "Actually I was hoping DS would be another girl" and they shut up.

I used to always get the "Oh, it's a baby in there!" Do they think I am playing with a doll or am very careful with the stuff I keep in my lumpy and oddly shaped purse?

I constantly got "Oh the baby dropped, you will go any minute" with my DD from 6 months on. I would say " I hope not since she will be 3 months premature" and that shut people up pretty quickly.

I could go on all day
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#272 of 299 Old 07-28-2006, 01:09 AM
 
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my mom has 2 of the best ones I ever heard:

when she was 18 & pregnant with me (38 yrs ago), (small mill town in NC) and she told her doctor she planned to BF, he laughed and said, "honey nobody does that anymore," & called in a nurse who promptly gave her a shot in the arm to dry up her milk. she spent my infancy holding me to her breast but being afraid to let me latch on b/c she didn't know if the drugs in the shot would hurt me (which I told her they wouldn't have)- too bad she didn't know about LLL.

then to add insult to injury, despite her labor with me being fast, drug-free, and painless, they forced laughing gas on her right as I was being born. She came to later and was furious as everyone told her what a beautiful baby I was when she hadn't laid eyes on me and I was still in the nursery.

she got her revenge later by nursing my siblings to age 3 and having an (unheard of at that time) unplanned VBAC with my sister by arriving at the hospital as she was pushing (LOL). It really wasn't on purspose- just a superfast labor. Nurses were mean to her and accused her of waiting so she could have a BVAC- she was terrified her uterus would rupture and baby would die (reason they'd told her she could not VBAC). (she'd had what was probably a necessary cesarean birth with my brother, her second, for placenta previa). also got her revenge by radicalizing me and my sister! Oh, I always feel better after venting that terrible story. I feel so angry for what they did to my mom- I really think its part of why I'm as fierce as I am about this stuff, why I became a doula, and just dare someone to tell me I can't nurse my children in their restaurant.

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#273 of 299 Old 07-28-2006, 02:45 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jewelie

when she was 18 & pregnant with me (38 yrs ago), (small mill town in NC) and she told her doctor she planned to BF, he laughed and said, "honey nobody does that anymore," & called in a nurse who promptly gave her a shot in the arm to dry up her milk. she spent my infancy holding me to her breast but being afraid to let me latch on b/c she didn't know if the drugs in the shot would hurt me (which I told her they wouldn't have)- too bad she didn't know about LLL.

... they forced laughing gas on her right as I was being born. She came to later and was furious as everyone told her what a beautiful baby I was when she hadn't laid eyes on me and I was still in the nursery.

Nurses were mean to her and accused her of waiting so she could have a BVAC- she was terrified her uterus would rupture and baby would die (reason they'd told her she could not VBAC).

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#274 of 299 Old 07-28-2006, 02:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
What? Oh, no, I mean the aunt, how could she do that? I think you handled things very well under the circumstances.
I'm pretty sure it's all for the better. She was one of those people that only came around to see her family when she needed somewhere to stay, or money. She hasn't really been around now for a little over 7 years. No one seems to mind. And it gives me a great story. If I wasn't bleeding everywhere I probably would have chased her all the way to the exit.
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#275 of 299 Old 07-28-2006, 10:54 PM
 
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I've got some to add from my recent birth

Hb MW I hired months ago: "You have a big baby in there, already over 4kgs and I think you're at high risk of another c-sec."
I went into strong labour the next day and freebirthed a MASSIVE 3.7kgs baby 2 days later... I was about 37/38 weeks but the PTSD explosion triggered by her words were what brought my labour on, I feel.

I had a PPH afterwards and since I no longer had a MW, I HAD to go to the hospy. (If I'd planned to fb I'd have had supplies and even though I chowed down on placenta I needed some extra help and some stitching. Anyhoo...)

The ambulance driver on the way:
"Some people even EAT their placentas!"
Me: "Yep, you're looking at one."

At the hospy:
"Did you or your husband deliver the baby?"
Well I'm the one with the torn vagina, waddya reckon???

"You HAVE to bf the baby for 30mins each side!"
What if she only wants 5 mins? There's NOTHING in there yet, dopes. And what if she wants 33.5mins? Do I rip her off???

"You had your first baby in a hospital, dear, so you know we have to do certain things because they're hospital policy."
Me: "Yes, and I spent 2 years recovering from PTSD as a result of hospital policy so it doesn't apply to me!"

Oh and they checked my placenta and told me it was entire after I'd eaten rather a lot of it ROFL. I'm glad they weren't there when I gave birth if they're that incompetent
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#276 of 299 Old 07-29-2006, 09:05 AM
 
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: I'm laughing and cringing at the same time reading these. So awful. I've always wondered about how my grandpa "managed" births, as he was an OB back in the dark ages (1930's-50's). I hope he wasn't an sOB, because he was an awfully sweet man.

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PS - this will be my 2nd child. Perhaps it's criminal to have more than 2?
You didn't know that? Two is the max. You can only have three if your first two are of the same gender and you want to try for the opposite gender. That's why I'm off the hook for at least one more, since our first two are boys and everybody thinks it's obvious we're "trying for a girl". Of course, we have no intention of stopping there, so I'll be a criminal grand multipara one of these days.
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#277 of 299 Old 07-29-2006, 03:48 PM
 
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This thread is so long I'm not sure if I already posted these! But I'm not subscribed, so I'll go ahead and add mine.

I have had two preemies, the second one was 7 weeks early. She arrived in December although she was due in February and I had several people tell me that she "had to come early so I could get the tax deduction" : Oh yeah, that's so damn funny.

Another friend of mine (and the only things I can say in her defense here are that she said this probably because she's 1) extremely mainstream and 2) been pregnant 3 times in 5 years and has gone overdue every time) told me, while my daughter was still in the NICU "It's good in a way that she came early, because those last two months of pregnancy are really hard." I was completely unable to think of anything to say, but looking back on it it makes me shake with anger that she could possibly think that delivering a 4 pound baby that needs to be in the hospital for 23 days and needed to be tube fed could be easier than be pregnant for 7-8 more weeks.
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#278 of 299 Old 07-29-2006, 03:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elmh23
I can never understand how woman can't go through the pain without meds because my mom sure as heck did!
Umm, this really is a pretty insensitive thing to say, I'm sorry. You really should try to walk a mile in another mama's shoes sometime. I don't know what else to say without being snarky, but I really think there are instances where pain medication is not unreasonable.
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#279 of 299 Old 07-29-2006, 05:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lousli
Another friend of mine (and the only things I can say in her defense here are that she said this probably because she's 1) extremely mainstream and 2) been pregnant 3 times in 5 years and has gone overdue every time) told me, while my daughter was still in the NICU "It's good in a way that she came early, because those last two months of pregnancy are really hard." I was completely unable to think of anything to say, but looking back on it it makes me shake with anger that she could possibly think that delivering a 4 pound baby that needs to be in the hospital for 23 days and needed to be tube fed could be easier than be pregnant for 7-8 more weeks.
: Don't you understand that things are supposed to be "easy" if you aren't inconvienced and that you were supposed to just let the people at the hospital take care of your baby?:
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#280 of 299 Old 07-29-2006, 05:30 PM
 
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i love reading these
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#281 of 299 Old 07-29-2006, 09:46 PM
 
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ugh... a local doctor recently told a pregnant mom that if she gets miserable that last week to just say so and she'll induce.
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#282 of 299 Old 07-30-2006, 12:29 AM
 
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This is one of the many, many truly assinine things people told us throughout PG. My DH and I were talking to the head sOB at the hospital where I birthed our son about a week before I went into labor. He was looking over my birth plan and going point by point, being all fake, condescending and trying to degrade us b/c we wanted to not have all the interventions they were trying to push on us. At one point he said "Do I want your baby to die? Certainly not. But if your baby dies I'm still going to sleep at night." There are no words I tell you.

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#283 of 299 Old 07-30-2006, 12:31 AM
 
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Reading through these posts is horrifying. Good grief, people are nuts : !

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#284 of 299 Old 07-30-2006, 01:44 AM
 
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I dont think I have gotten anything super outragious...but I did have a friend who thought I was insane for planning a homebirth. She insisted that she knew "like 4 kids" who were mentally retarded because they were born at home. I told her that I didnt want to risk my baby by having her AT the hospital-that having my first at the hospital was what screwed things up with him. She was the first to ask how my homebirth went when I got back to school (2 days after she was born) and when everyone else was saying how cool it was that I had her at home, she just agreed. Gee, my dd isnt retarded, its amazing!
I have also gotten the whole "you must have easy labors" thing. Right....
My friend was told by her OB that her twins had twin to twin transfusion syndrome (she had an elective cesarean because one twin was smaller than the other on the ultrasound and the babies were too small to handle labor ) but her twins are FRATERNAL-meaning that they couldnt have TTTS. Of course, this is the same doc who told her that he was giving them anesthesia for their circs when he just gave them sugar water. Nice.
I also had a neurologist tell me that I couldnt have a homebirth and that I was going to have complications, she just knew it. This was despite the fact that 3 other neuros said I would be fine and that my condition (I have idiopathic intracranial hypertension) wouldnt hurt me during birth. Or another doc that told me I had a UTI even though the test was negative and I was showing classic symptoms of a miscarriage.
I am sure I could keep coming up with things...lol

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#285 of 299 Old 07-30-2006, 05:44 PM
 
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A doctor, long ago, when my mom was having me:

"We let mom's gain 15lb during pgcy and after 15lb, put them on a Jell-o diet."

My sOB, when faced w/ an unwanted c/s:

"Yawn -- well, let's just get this done now. I have my son's graduation party today and I want to get on that. You can have a c/s, it's all right, we will do everything to support a VBAC w/ your next birth(s)"

YA RIGHT, you will do everything. 18 mo after that he puts in writing his clinic's VBAC rate is right around 10%!
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#286 of 299 Old 07-30-2006, 07:09 PM
 
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I was browsing through our base paper today while ds was playing outside. I cam across this big ad in there advertising a new OB in town and all it says about her is that their main priorities are the mother's COMFORT and CONVENIENCE (and yes those words were capitalized and bolded). Ok, I don't know this OB and I haven't heard anything about her but I would bet my house that she does tons of elective inductions with epidurals...and you know, it's not for her convenience of course, it's for the mother's.

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#287 of 299 Old 07-30-2006, 07:56 PM
 
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Not really about pregnancy or birth, --- or to my face for that matter... but when my son was about 4 months old my dh's grandmother said, loud enough to be overheard, "Are they feeding him yet?"

: Obviously my mother-in-law was a formula baby...
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#288 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 03:06 AM
 
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Quote:
but when my son was about 4 months old my dh's grandmother said, loud enough to be overheard, "Are they feeding him yet?"
Goodness, no, he gets all his nutrition from the air!

Quote:
A doctor, long ago, when my mom was having me:

"We let mom's gain 15lb during pgcy and after 15lb, put them on a Jell-o diet."
My MIL was put on a 1,000 calorie-a-day diet while pregnant with my husband so that she wouldn't gain any weight.

Slightly OT, but it really gets to me how much credit my MIL gives the OBs for Rober's successful entrance into this world, when everything she has told me makes it clear his existence is in spite of them, not because of them. In addition to trying to starve her while she was pregnant, they didn't correctly diagnose her pregnancy, and she came within minutes of accidentally having him aborted! They scheduled her to have a D&C because of not having had her period so long, and it was only because they perforated the uterus of the woman ahead of her and cancelled the day's other appointments that she managed to avoid it.

I guess that goes under outrageous, doesn't it?

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), & Douglas (11/12)

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#289 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 03:52 AM
 
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I have to join in!

I am seeing a high-risk doctor for blood incompatibility. They are monitoring by ultrasound for anemia. The chart, however, doesn't go past 35 wks (although it is a curve and you could intuitively follow where it would go the last 5+ wks). She said we should do an amnio at 36 wks to check for high bili levels (which in my case, something could be wrong and his bili might not be high). He is looking great by the ultrasounds and completely in the no-anemia range and so we said that we didn't want to go to an invasive procedure (and inaccurate) like an amnio if we didn't abosolutely have to. We want keep with the US and chart where the curve would go (which we did with our other son and he was born completely healthy). So she actually said,

"Well, it would be logical to follow where it would intuitively go, but we want more information":

Yes, heaven forbid we do do the logical thing

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ribboncesarean.gif vbac.gifhomebirth.jpg I have given birth a variety of ways and I am thankful for what each one has taught me.

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#290 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 04:48 AM
 
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I noticed that the posts got more and more shocking stories of the atrocities comitted by medical professionals, but I wanted to add a simple public misconception:
We planned a Lotus Birth (birth without cutting the umbilical cord) and all through my pregnancy (and still today when we tell people about it) the MAJORITY response (even from women who have had babies!!) is "if you dont cut the cord, then the baby will just stay attatched to the mother all that time?" and when we explain that the placenta is born shortly after the baby, they ask "but how will you get the placenta back in again?"
:
Peoples' ignorance astounds me.

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#291 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 05:33 AM
 
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DH's aunt, a nursery nurse, seems to think I'm about 14 and a twit, and have no idea about what I'm getting into having a baby. She caught me on the phone and was telling me exactly how it was going to be, what I should do, how I was going to feel, what problems I would encounter with a new baby (seemingly ignoring what I said I already knew, felt, etc.). Finally she said, "oh, you like animals, I'm sure you'll do just fine with a baby."

Interestingly enough, most of her sage advice about how to care for a baby struck me as better advice on how to care for a kitten.
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#292 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 06:52 AM
 
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#293 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 12:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagesgirl
In addition to trying to starve her while she was pregnant, they didn't correctly diagnose her pregnancy, and she came within minutes of accidentally having him aborted! They scheduled her to have a D&C because of not having had her period so long, and it was only because they perforated the uterus of the woman ahead of her and cancelled the day's other appointments that she managed to avoid it.

I guess that goes under outrageous, doesn't it?
:
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#294 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 12:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by milkydoula
"Well, it would be logical to follow where it would intuitively go, but we want more information":
Did you tell her she can't always have what she wants?
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#295 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 12:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by majikfaerie
when we explain that the placenta is born shortly after the baby, they ask "but how will you get the placenta back in again?"
My dh suggests, "wait for the placenta to dry out, then fold it neatly and insert it. Once it is in place it will unfold and reattach itself on its own." Said with a perfectly straight face you could probably get to watch some really great expressions.

How do you *not* know that the placenta comes out? Especially if you've had a baby?
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#296 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 01:18 PM
 
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#297 of 299 Old 07-31-2006, 04:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by busybusymomma
I always joked that I'd have to go overdue to have an 8lb baby... well dd2 was born two weeks ago at 40+6 and she was still only 7lb 6oz. I've have had to go to 42 weeks (or more) to have that 8lb baby.
I was born at 42 weeks and I was only 7lb 6oz

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#298 of 299 Old 08-01-2006, 03:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
My dh suggests, "wait for the placenta to dry out, then fold it neatly and insert it. Once it is in place it will unfold and reattach itself on its own." Said with a perfectly straight face you could probably get to watch some really great expressions.
:
OMG, i'm gonna say that!
Quote:
How do you *not* know that the placenta comes out? Especially if you've had a baby?
To be honest, I have NO idea! Admittedly, most people who make this comment haven't had babies, but there have been a few who had!

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#299 of 299 Old 08-01-2006, 03:45 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phoebemommy
Interestingly enough, most of her sage advice about how to care for a baby struck me as better advice on how to care for a kitten.
gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "she's having kittens" :

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