Get mad! Get mad at that baby! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 21 Old 06-23-2005, 11:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Why, why, why would someone say this?!?!

:

Seriously. Do you know how many doctors, nurses and even midwives say or yell this to a laboring woman if she's not pushing hard enough??

Did anyone say this to you? If so--did it help!?!?

I think I'd have kicked the person in the face had they suggested that I get mad at my baby! Telling a mother to get mad at the child she's pushing out.... : Sick....

Okay, well, done with my rant...just wanted to vent and get some opinions....

Grrrrrrr

Kelly

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#2 of 21 Old 06-23-2005, 11:37 PM
 
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Wow. I've never heard of that one.
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#3 of 21 Old 06-23-2005, 11:37 PM
 
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What? That's just stupid! People say that to a laboring woman? Now, there's a way to bring a child into a loving and welcoming pair of arms...
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#4 of 21 Old 06-23-2005, 11:38 PM
 
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Wow...I can think of a whole lot of ways to motivate a mama much better than telling her to get mad at her baby! That's terrible and I'm glad no one ever said that to me.
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#5 of 21 Old 06-23-2005, 11:38 PM
 
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Thats horrible
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#6 of 21 Old 06-23-2005, 11:46 PM
 
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How can you get mad at a baby???????

I love babies


I want lotsa babies

Thier so lovable
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#7 of 21 Old 06-23-2005, 11:49 PM
 
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When DS (now 15 y/o) was born, I do remember the midwife and/or nurse saying this. I didn't so much hear it (or interpret it) as literally "Get mad at that baby!" as I interpreted it as "Okay, it's time to get down to business...there is strength in anger, so find some anger in you and use it to push the baby out".

But yeah, it does sound weird now that I think about it.
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#8 of 21 Old 06-23-2005, 11:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ummmm....

Yeah, so anyway. Yeah, lots of them do this! It always goes something like this: "C'mon! Get mad! Get mad at that baby! Push that baby out!"

Kelly, mama (12yoDS), doula, RN, and writer.
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#9 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 12:15 AM
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I recall my ob yelling at me to push through the pain and also yelling me that "yes, you can do it" but I think what you are saying does sound weird.
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#10 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 12:40 AM
 
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The nurse told me to 'get mad and push the baby out' and it helped but it was never get mad AT the baby - I just took it like a kind of football type pep talk to light a fire under me when I was getting tired.
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#11 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 03:26 AM
 
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Yeah, they said that to me. At the time, it made sense, and I don't think anyone would take it LITERALLY. I sure didn't.

It sure does sound weird, typed out like that, though. :LOL
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#12 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 04:00 AM
 
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I had a nurse lean over my belly and yell "Go towards the light" at the baby. It was a real tension breaker.
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#13 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 04:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyRED
I had a nurse lean over my belly and yell "Go towards the light" at the baby. It was a real tension breaker.
:LOL :LOL

I think sometimes DS wants to go back to his dark little nest.
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#14 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 08:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyRED
I had a nurse lean over my belly and yell "Go towards the light" at the baby. It was a real tension breaker.
: That's hysterical!
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#15 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 09:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyRED
I had a nurse lean over my belly and yell "Go towards the light" at the baby. It was a real tension breaker.
id have looked at it another way and end up....
the getting angry at the baby thing is just..stupid and angering.
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#16 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 11:03 AM
 
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I would never tell anyone to get mad at the baby!
I have told mama's to get mad and stomp around, to change the energy. And I've told mama's, "You're the mommy! Tell that baby to come out! And don't take no for an answer!". It's sort of a last resort, though. I dislike attendents yelling at a birth, it scares the baby and makes him not want to come out!
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#17 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 11:18 AM
 
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I've never liked anyone telling me when to push or how hard. Like, geez, just SHUT UP and let me friggen work here!
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#18 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 02:11 PM
 
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I've heard it too - when I doula'd at hospital births.

Stupidist thing to say. I hated it.

Birth does NOT have to be that way.
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#19 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 02:41 PM
 
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That's just wrong.

I think any sort of yelling at the mother is completely disrespecful. I can see encouraging the mom when she has an effective push as in quietly saying, "that was a great push--just like that." but to try and shout or motivate using aggression...Wrong.

I have on my birth plan:

"No 'cheerleading' pushing - please let me follow my body's lead - Please do not count to 10 or instruct me how to push in any way."
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#20 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 06:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital
I've never liked anyone telling me when to push or how hard. Like, geez, just SHUT UP and let me friggen work here!
ditto

what a stupid suggestion!
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#21 of 21 Old 06-24-2005, 07:19 PM
 
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Yikes! I have never heard of anyone saying that to a laboring mother. How sad!
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