Can't shake the feeling something is wrong... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: During your pregnancy,did you ever feel like something was very wrong with your baby?
Not really or very rarely. 69 100.00%
Sometimes I felt like something was wrong. 49 100.00%
Very Often I felt like something was very wrong. 29 100.00%
If you chose Option 3, you ended up having a healthy viable infant. 21 100.00%
If you chose Option 3, there was something wrong with your baby. 12 100.00%
If you chose Option 3, you don't know your pregnancy outcome because you're still pregnant. 10 100.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll

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#31 of 45 Old 07-01-2005, 05:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by flapjack
Maybe the reason you're not getting as many people ticking box no 3 is the way you worded it-
It's not that, it's that people aren't checking box no 3, but then going on to fill out the ones that are only for people that checked box 3. I should have done some other wording for the last three options getting rid of box #3 and instead writing:
Very often I felt that something was very wrong and yet I had a healthy baby.
Very often I felt that something was wrong and there was something wrong with my baby.
Very often I felt that something was wrong and I'm still pregnant.

But, goodness, it doesn't really matter as much as all the wonderful advice and support!!!

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#32 of 45 Old 07-01-2005, 06:00 PM
 
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I felt something was wrong from the very beginning. I thought:

I wasn't pregnant, but had an ovarian cyst
I was pregnant (after ultrasound) but would miscarry
I was pregnant but had a missed miscarriage
I would lose the baby due to incompetent cervix.

I had a nice reprieve from worry from weeks 20-30 or so, then began to focus on my fear of stillbirth.

When my daughter was born, my first words to the midwife were, "Is she alive?" She said yes and I said, "Oh good, I thought she would be dead." The midwife looked pretty startled! :LOL

Baby's Apgars were 9 and 9, she thrived, and is now 20 mos old, running around and talking up a storm.

For me I think the worry was profound distrust in my body's capacity, inability to believe such a wondrous process as birth was possible or could happen to me, and fear of becoming too excited/confident for fear of disappointment.

I think it's pretty normal to worry. I have a *very* well-adjusted friend, and she was so sure her babe would have cleft palate (of all things) that she did extensive research about the issue. Babe was fine, no cleft.

Sending you good vibes...
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#33 of 45 Old 07-01-2005, 06:02 PM
 
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I do think my shaky start with HG and the meds I've needed to take have had an impact on my feelings for sure. I'm just not sure how much of an impacts.
This makes sense to me.
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#34 of 45 Old 07-01-2005, 06:19 PM
 
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I was obsessed from the very beginning of my pregnancy that there was something terribly wrong and that I was going to mc. I had a lot of spotting early on but never with any real quantity of blood or anything. I was going in for the spotting about 1-2x/week for the first trimester. Even in the second trimester I was terrified. I was so excited when we got to 25 weeks and I knew that if I did go into preterm labor the baby could possibly survive. It was morbid. What's wild is that, except for the little bit of cervical spotting, I had a very uneventful and fine pregnancy. I think that I had antepartum depression which transferred into post partum anxiety disorder after my DS was born. He was born at 38 weeks (induced due to PIH) and, although he was a little small at 6.6, he was perfect and is nearly 1 year old and doing great.

I think that depression/anxiety can play a much bigger role in pregnancy than anyone ever talks about. I had NO IDEA that this could happen to me. I met a mom online who has 8 kids and had this kind of anxiety depression during her pregnancy with her 7th kid. I don't think it matters how many healthy littles you have - sometimes depression can show up anyway.

Also, like you I didn't feel "depressed" if felt terribly anxious - I just wish I'd known what it was and that there were ways to help treat it.

to you. I hope you feel better soon! If it would help you relax, I am all for seeing your dr. or getting an ultrasound to make sure that nothing is wrong and that it really is anxiety and not valuable intuition.

HTH,
Jenn

First and foremost, Mama to Owen blahblah.gif (7/21/04), Annalieseenergy.gif  (7/29/09), and somebody new bigeyes.gif  (due Feb 2012), and wife to Andrew (9/12/98). Also passionate about and loving the work I do in Organizational Development.

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#35 of 45 Old 07-01-2005, 06:30 PM
 
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I had the thought several times while pregnant that my baby wouldn't be born. I realized after he was born, healthy and strong, that for me what that thought was about was the fact that the baby I had been imagining throughout the pregnancy *wasn't* born. I imagined a girl - he's a boy. I imagined a calm, visual baby - he's intense, kinetic, and tactile. Some part of me knew that what I was imagining wasn't very realistic, and that when the baby was born I was going to have to adjust my expectations to reality.

I think that thought also came from bleeding through my 1st trimester (scary, not the symptom of pregnancy anyone expects) and from having waited a long time to TTC, and suceeding in month #1, and not being quite ready to believe that what I had waited for so long was really real.

Here as mama to W (2/04), R (5/06), D (7/09), and J (12/9/12!), co-parenting with my DH

I WOH part-time, am a doula & childbirth educator, home/unschool, and hope we are nearing the center of chaos


 
  

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#36 of 45 Old 07-05-2005, 12:28 AM
 
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Maybe you could just see an OB for a quick u/s to reassure you there's no major issues going on? I've had those feelings before and something was very wrong each time

Seriously?
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#37 of 45 Old 07-05-2005, 02:30 AM
 
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I couldn't read this thread & not leave some words.
During this last pregnancy I had constant thoughts that something would happen with my babe. And something did, she was born still. My thoughts were something bad would happen during labor. I never went into labor, she died before. When I had those thoughts I really tried to avoid them. I did talk about them with my Midwife & birth support, but they never went away. When they crept up, such as the diaper senario, I would say why am I making this soaker, Oh to bury her in it. Had other thoughts too, but will not go into them here. But what I really want to say is that I wish I had confronted them more, and not ran away. (I think it is great you started this thread. I never would have had the courage to word it they way you did) I wish I had listened to those nudges I had during the last weeks of my pregnancy & went to the hospital. The pregnancy & birth loss forum was calling to me, but I avoided it. I did not want to hear about bad outcomes. It was like if I go there, it will happen. Well it happened, and now I am there.
Wow this is a really negative post, but I think it is what you were sort of looking for. (if not let me know, I will happliy delete it)
I encourage you confront this & really think about it. I wish I had, and perhaps my outcome would have been much different.

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#38 of 45 Old 07-07-2005, 06:24 AM
 
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I haven't had any feelings to relate to what you're going through, just wanted to give you a big ((((((Hug))))))). I will be sending you much positive energy.
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#39 of 45 Old 07-18-2005, 10:34 PM
 
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claire, how are you feeling?

namaste.gif

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#40 of 45 Old 07-19-2005, 07:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamaroni
claire, how are you feeling?
I was just wondering too.

R~mama to 3

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#41 of 45 Old 07-19-2005, 08:29 PM
 
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for you.

: for you also.

Take care of yourself and the baby as you deserve it.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#42 of 45 Old 07-22-2005, 09:20 AM
 
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I had those feeling with my first, I cant really explain what the feeling were but I just knew I would not be taking him home with us. I never really fully prepared for him, we bought everything we would have needed but never set anything up, something inside was telling me we would never use it for him. My son went on to die at birth from multiple birth defects that went undetected in my pregnancy. I have had 2 healthy children since then, I always had a fear during their pregnancies but I also always knew that they would be born healthy. I hope your feelings are wrong, that was the hardest thing I have ever been through.
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#43 of 45 Old 07-22-2005, 10:28 AM
 
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what I have seen is if there has been a problem like a miscarriage previous to a current pregnancy or extreme fatigue or hyperemisis or any other unusual problems including things not related to a pregnancy like divorce.... a mom will often have a greater feeling that something is wrong and it isn't easy to shake.
So what are the things that are going right? is the baby growing? moving? even hyperemisis is a good sign that your hormones are functioning to hang on to a pregnancy.
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#44 of 45 Old 07-31-2005, 12:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all. I have such gratitude reading this thread! Here I should have subscribed to it early on, I didn't realize so many were still posting. (I'm subscribing now!)

Here's my update: As far as HG goes I'm still vomiting daily (some worse than others), but it's only to the level of bad morning sickness. I'm getting my energy back more and more and feeling more like myself. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and yes, the baby is growing, moving (although much less than my other two ever did) and looking normal and healthy from an U/S.

I still have thoughts or feelings that weave themselves into my daily life. Each time I experience that I try to envision the thought as water rolling off a duck's back. I repeat to myself that all happens for the highest good. I find great strength in that. I don't have to cling to the notion in fear, yet I acknowledge that I'm having the thought/feeling. Doing so helps me stay open to if/when I need to do something. I still feel like there is not much I can do right now other than hold my baby, cherish each roll or kick.

Debstmommy -- Thank you, I really appreciate your post. How do you think you would have handled your thoughts/feelings differently? I feel like it does color some of the birth choices that I make, like I find myself contemplating, if we choose this path and our baby doesn't live, will it effect the amt of guilt my DH or myself might feel?

Thank you ALL so so so much! I really am just so so so thankful for each of your ideas and opinions and support. Goodness. Thank you!

Spark and her four firecrackers.
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#45 of 45 Old 08-03-2005, 02:58 PM
 
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I am sitting here trying to figure out what to type. My dd is sleeping on my lap.

The first time I was pg it never occurred to me that anything could go wrong. At 12 weeks, and on my birthday, I started spotting. We went to the doctor's office expecting to be told that everything was normal. We were sent for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. They said that they babe stopped growing at about 6 weeks. I eventually had a D&C after waiting for nearly another two weeks for a spontainous (sp??) m/c.

I got pg with my son maybe 6 weeks later. I was terrified for the longest time. Once we got past 12 weeks and could hear a heartbeat I was better. He was born one day after his due date and totally fine.

When he was a little about 1.5 years old I got pg again. I remember thinking that I would m/c. That only my even number pg would work. I was not feeling well most of the time I was pregnant. When I was about 4 months pg I was put on Diclactin (sp?) and antinausiant because I couldn't take care of our son I was so nauseous. I didn't throw up everyday but one day I did throw up about a dozen times. Once I was on the drug I felt like a new woman. I didn't think anything was wrong after that until a few days before I went into labour. My dd birth story is here.

She was born about 9 1/2 weeks early.

Now she is 19 weeks or so old and I think she is doing great!!

I am not sure what my point was except that I agree that you should listen to your feelings and then keep on going.
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