In your eyes, wheres the best place to give birth - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 12:29 PM
 
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Okay, the blood and merconium stain remained for several days (and baking in 90 plus degree heat while I was staying at the hospital with DD). My mom got it out completely with Spot Shot and Peroxide.

I never had a follow-up visit with the midwife (the 6 week) so I think her unprofessional behavior extended a bit farther than normal.

Also, there was a moderate amount of merconium present when my water broke and midwife said it was "fine".

I didn't share my story to "scare" people away from having a homebirth. Just because I had a bad experience doesn't mean that I should keep quiet about it.
A friend of mine had a homebirth 6 months ago and her son came out footling breech and died long before they could even get him delivered. She won't be having another homebirth either and I doubt anyone would blame her for that.

I'm sorry. I'm a bit upset that I feel "judged" because I had a homebirth and it wasn't the magical experience that it is for a lot of people. I understand that it's a topic that people feel very strongly about. I was the same way until after I had the experience I did. Now I'm much more neutral and unwilling to judge people for their birthing choices.
There is nothing wrong with that.

DS 6 DD 8
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#62 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 01:31 PM
 
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You know, the OP asked "In your eyes, where's the best place to give birth?"

Some of us are gonna say home. Others are gonna say birth center. Others are gonna say L and D in a hospital.

This isnt a "bash everyones experience that doesnt support that homebirth is the right place".

Home is in fact my preferred place to birth. And it is for most of the other women on this thread. But please stop trying to coerce and belittle everyone into shouting in unison "yes, yes, homebirth is the ideal for everyone" because it's not. It is NOT the ideal for everyone. Clearly.

Y'all need to back off.
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#63 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 01:59 PM
 
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Artistmama-

I'm glad you shared your experience because It's easy to say get into a mentality where all midwives are good, all doctors are bad- all homebirths are good and all hospital births are bad.

Here in Washington midwifery is legal, and hence there are a lot of guidlelines. There seems to be a pretty strong consensus amoung midwives about what constitutes a higher risk birth and when transfer is recommended. Most of these issues are legislated, even.

Almost all the midwives i know won't deliver a breach presentation or twins out of the hospital- I think it's considered out of their scope- ie not legal. Most won't deliver when the fluid has more than the slightest amount of meconium (My midwives said that if it looks like jasmine tea it's OK, but actual green color, and we're going to the had hospital.) The midwives I know do blood tests for anemia, recommend 20 week ultrasounds and quad screens. They do non-stress tests starting at 41 weeks.

Some midwives take more risks, and some women may be cool with that, some not.

There's a lot of in and out's with this stuff. I'm lucky, because I'm i the medical field and live in an area where midwifery is legal- both things give me a lot of power and control that many women don't have.

I do think it's important for women to become educated about the risks and benefits of various aspects of labor for themselves. Falling into a black and white vision of home vs hospital birth is disempowering IMO- it puts you at the mercy of your preconceptions. Educating yourself about prenatal testing, shoulder distorcia, epidurals, midwifery laws in your state, patient rights in your state- these are things that give you real power.
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#64 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 05:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Artist Mama
Okay, the blood and merconium stain remained for several days (and baking in 90 plus degree heat while I was staying at the hospital with DD). My mom got it out completely with Spot Shot and Peroxide.
.
thanks for the tip info I will look for spot shot

and I am sorry to hear that your experience was not great -- I know what you mean about complaining as our last baby who is now a 17yo was a UC and I would never repeat that experience but I would not reapeat my hospital experiences either. I was not trying to disagree with your choice to hospital birth this time around I was thinking that the story was probably bigger than a spot on the carpet KWIM
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#65 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo
Artistmama-

I'm glad you shared your experience because It's easy to say get into a mentality where all midwives are good, all doctors are bad- all homebirths are good and all hospital births are bad.

Here in Washington midwifery is legal, and hence there are a lot of guidlelines. There seems to be a pretty strong consensus amoung midwives about what constitutes a higher risk birth and when transfer is recommended. Most of these issues are legislated, even.

Almost all the midwives i know won't deliver a breach presentation or twins out of the hospital- I think it's considered out of their scope- ie not legal. Most won't deliver when the fluid has more than the slightest amount of meconium (My midwives said that if it looks like jasmine tea it's OK, but actual green color, and we're going to the had hospital.) The midwives I know do blood tests for anemia, recommend 20 week ultrasounds and quad screens. They do non-stress tests starting at 41 weeks.

Some midwives take more risks, and some women may be cool with that, some not.

There's a lot of in and out's with this stuff. I'm lucky, because I'm i the medical field and live in an area where midwifery is legal- both things give me a lot of power and control that many women don't have.

I do think it's important for women to become educated about the risks and benefits of various aspects of labor for themselves. Falling into a black and white vision of home vs hospital birth is disempowering IMO- it puts you at the mercy of your preconceptions. Educating yourself about prenatal testing, shoulder distorcia, epidurals, midwifery laws in your state, patient rights in your state- these are things that give you real power.

artistmama,

First a ball, sorry to read about your birth experience with your 1st child, but I'm glad you told MDC as well.

mommyofshmoo,

You are lucky to live in a state that midwifery is legal, not illegal and have guidelines as well with what they can do/where and what they can't do/where.

Totally agree with what you said at the bottom of your post.

Thank you.
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#66 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 08:09 PM
 
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It's not a coincidence that I live in a state where midwifery is legal. I moved here planning to study midwifery. My career took a different course, but I still feel very strongly about the value of midwifery.

It makes me really sad the animosity that occurs in states where midifery is illegal. It sets up a situation where both women and midwives feel pressured to complete homebirths in situations where they might otherwise transfer if the climate were different. It also distances midwifery clients from things that are useful- like lab tests.

I feel that it;s really important for there to be guidelines and standards of care for how midwifery is practiced- it protects women, it protects midwives, it promotes good feelings between midwives and OB's.

I seriously hope more states legalize homebirths and midwifery. It puts wmen at a tremendous disadvantage when homebirth is illegal, for many, many reasons.
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#67 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 08:26 PM
 
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Homebirth protects me from getting my perineum sliced open. Homebirth protects me from continuous fetal monitoring. Homebirth protects me from crankly nurses, or disrespectful residents, or doctors who secretly hate women and women's bodies.
Aren't these a problem with hospital birth rather than a pro for home birth?

Wouldn't we be better off fixing those problems than cutting off insurance for hospital birth? Because for those who can't choose homebirth, they're facing some pretty big risks in the hospital setting - not from the location, but from the non-evidence based care.
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#68 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 10:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo
It's not a coincidence that I live in a state where midwifery is legal. I moved here planning to study midwifery. My career took a different course, but I still feel very strongly about the value of midwifery.

It makes me really sad the animosity that occurs in states where midifery is illegal. It sets up a situation where both women and midwives feel pressured to complete homebirths in situations where they might otherwise transfer if the climate were different. It also distances midwifery clients from things that are useful- like lab tests.

I feel that it;s really important for there to be guidelines and standards of care for how midwifery is practiced- it protects women, it protects midwives, it promotes good feelings between midwives and OB's.

I seriously hope more states legalize homebirths and midwifery. It puts wmen at a tremendous disadvantage when homebirth is illegal, for many, many reasons.
mommyofshmoo,

Okay, now I understand why you moved to Seattle. Totally agree with on what said in this post, especially all 50 states and other countries that think midwifery is illegal should have it legal so women have the right to one of them. Whether its in the womens homes or indepent birth center or alternative birth center in the hospital or regular labor and delivery room in the hospital. Sorry for my grammar.

Thank you.
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#69 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 10:40 PM
 
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If I were ever to have another baby (which I'm not planning on, but you never know) I would birth in a hospital, as I did with my first two. I planned to have both in the hospital, rather than at home, but even if I had planned homebirth, I would have ended up in the hospital because of their prematurity. I'm sure if I ever got pregnant again, I would risk out of a midwife's care due to two previous premature births. So I'm one of those examples (although there aren't many) where it is probably better for everyone involved that I birth in a hospital.
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#70 of 90 Old 07-29-2005, 11:22 PM
 
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Where you feel most comfortable.

For me that's at home.
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#71 of 90 Old 07-30-2005, 04:06 PM
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Home for me is the ideal setting , but sad to say I cannot do this due to numerous medical issues. Midwives not only refuse to treat me, I require care through an OBGYN. I don't cherish the idea of going to a hospital, but I don't have a choice and it's for the best.
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#72 of 90 Old 07-30-2005, 08:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabe
Aren't these a problem with hospital birth rather than a pro for home birth?

Wouldn't we be better off fixing those problems than cutting off insurance for hospital birth? Because for those who can't choose homebirth, they're facing some pretty big risks in the hospital setting - not from the location, but from the non-evidence based care.
Actually, it's both. Are there some women who must birth in hospitals? Absolutely. C-sections save lives, and I'm glad we have them. Some women have severe underlying medical conditions that necessitate hospital birth. Some women are in abusive relationships and don't feel comfortable birthing at home. There are reasons to birth in the hospital, and for those women, "fixing" the aforementioned problems is very important.

But birthing in a hospital cannot ever be like birthing at home. Just the transfer of location, the official-seeming nature of doctors and nurses, the sterility of the environment all create a change in a laboring woman's chemistry that is a challenge to overcome. There is a litany of additional reasons I won't mention here, but that's just one reason birthing in a hospital is rarely the ideal situation.
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#73 of 90 Old 07-30-2005, 08:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kalirush
We'll see how I feel after I've done it, but my favored choice has always been a freestanding, midwife-run birth center. I see it as the best of both worlds- minimal interventions, midwife philosophy, *and* access to hospital type equipment and a doctor if needed.



Julia
all the mw run freestanding bithing centers i've known of only have the same emergency equipment that would be brought to a homebirth- hence the illusion of safety we always talk about. fsbc patients have to transfer to the hospital for the same things homebirthers do.

personally, me, i feel home is best. hands down. I have had two at home now. the first was magical and wonderful. the second we had complications and THANKGOD i was at home. if i was at the hospital i still might not have had my baby home with me and i think they would have made things much worse. my midwives handeled the "emergency" and recussitation beautifuly and skillfully. if we were at the hospital, besides being even more stressed out i would have surely been cut, my baby taken away and IVs started and all kinds of stuff.
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#74 of 90 Old 07-30-2005, 09:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PapayaVagina
Home, home, home .

I don't really believe in "alternative" sections of hospitals either, I think that their wording is just getting creative and makes it appear more friendly. It's all the same protocols, same malpractice insurance, same thing. We have a local hospital that advertises its "family birth center" (that they cleverly built apart from the rest of the hospital to give an additional fake appearance making it seem that it's independent) all over the dang place. But, little do most people know that is the ONLY labor and delivery area for that entire hospital and women get c-sections on the same floor. Wallpaper and nice tubs only go so far.
nak

i had my first baby in one of those "birthing centers". it's the place they made me stay in bed and coerced me to get an epidural or my baby would die. later i come to find the "birthing center's" epidural rate is 95%!
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#75 of 90 Old 07-30-2005, 10:06 PM
 
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After much reading we decieded a hb was the only way for us to go. All 3 of our children have been born at home.

#1 was 'on time'
#2 was 2 weeks 'late' with mec staining, born in the tub
#3 was 3 weeks 'late' was such a fast birth the mw didnt make it. :LOL

I myself was born at home

There is no way I would want to deal with the melarchy and lies that hospital and drs dish out. I like a stress free birth in my own home where I dont have to fight for what I want. My slightest wish is met as a demand from from dh, my mw and her helper.
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#76 of 90 Old 08-01-2005, 01:58 AM
 
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Home for sure. It was just the most wonderful experience for us!
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#77 of 90 Old 08-01-2005, 10:19 PM
 
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I think the optimal place for birth is wherever the mother herself feels safe...

For me it was at home.

For you, please be honest with your self about your anxieties and expectations, and make your plans.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#78 of 90 Old 08-02-2005, 12:35 AM
 
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For me it's a freestanding (non-hospital) birth center. They have the big tub there already, and I have no desire to rent one and have it set up in out tiny house. It's clean and cozy, not cluttered with toys. And I don't really want my kids at the birth. I'd rather they be with Grandma so I can focus on what I need to do.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#79 of 90 Old 08-02-2005, 05:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Artist Mama
FWIW, I had my DD at home.
- We have cream carpet. There ended up being a huge merconium and blood stain in the middle of the room. The midwife did not take care of that mess (and she's been a MW for close to 15 years).
DH and I put in a light beige carpeting in our first home, all through the house.

I stood up from the bed after my first birth and dribbled on the carpet.

The Doctor and Midwife did wipe it up, but it stained. DH and I smiled many times over that stain; we were happy to see that stain, since it reminded us of a happy moment in our lives. We had many happy moments.

We sold that house 23 years ago : and I noticed the home has been since resold and I noticed the new owners put in new carpeting. .

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#80 of 90 Old 08-02-2005, 05:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Artist Mama
- We have cream carpet. -
If you plan to raise children, why would you even consider putting light colored carpeting in your home if stains bother you?



Quote:
I am doing hypnobabies for pain
1950s - My parents did hypnosis effectively for home delivery and for the one baby my mom delivered in the hospital. It worked in the hospital, but she was given an I.V. with demerol also.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#81 of 90 Old 08-02-2005, 11:58 PM
 
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For me home is the best place to give birth. I say that with conviction, even considering the fact that my first ds was born in a freestanding birth center and I ended up homeless 3 days before my ds2 was born (he was born at my in-laws home, which was kinda like birthing on Mars).

Wanna, I giggled when I first read your comment about the carpet ... only YOU would or could bring that into a birthing conversation!
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#82 of 90 Old 08-03-2005, 02:19 AM
 
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HOME - a great study and long term study was just released that showed that homebirths had much better outcomes than hospitals.

Contact Michigan Midwives Association or any midwifery group for the specific details of the study.
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#83 of 90 Old 08-03-2005, 04:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice
If you plan to raise children, why would you even consider putting light colored carpeting in your home if stains bother you?
Not all of have the luxury of owning our own homes, you know!!!

I think my landlord might just throw a fit if we ripped the carpet up!
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#84 of 90 Old 08-03-2005, 11:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by wannabe
Not all of have the luxury of owning our own homes, you know!!!

I think my landlord might just throw a fit if we ripped the carpet up!
True, but my first was born in an apartment with cream carpets. We did okay.

Mama to four remarkable kiddos, all born at home.
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#85 of 90 Old 08-03-2005, 11:26 PM
 
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I love birthing at home. I love that I don't have to get in a car while in labor. And I love that I don't have to go home after the birth-- we're already there.
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#86 of 90 Old 08-04-2005, 11:03 AM
 
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OT

The cream colored carpet has been here since we purchased the house 3 years ago. We cannot afford to replace over 2000 sq ft of carpet at the moment.

DS 6 DD 8
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#87 of 90 Old 08-04-2005, 11:33 PM
 
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While I personally think homebirth is safest, medically speaking, I think hospital and birth center birth should be improved so that they are not the less-than-ideal experiences they are for many women. I also think insurance should cover ANY birth setting or mode of delivery, even if it is solely the woman's choice. Choice is choice is choice. I think I'm entitled to insurance coverage for my homebirths, and a lady should be entitled to insurance coverage for cesarean birth, hospital birth, birth center birth, etc. Forbidding things rarely brings anyone around to another point of view.
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#88 of 90 Old 08-04-2005, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by LizD
While I personally think homebirth is safest, medically speaking, I think hospital and birth center birth should be improved so that they are not the less-than-ideal experiences they are for many women. I also think insurance should cover ANY birth setting or mode of delivery, even if it is solely the woman's choice. Choice is choice is choice. I think I'm entitled to insurance coverage for my homebirths, and a lady should be entitled to insurance coverage for cesarean birth, hospital birth, birth center birth, etc. Forbidding things rarely brings anyone around to another point of view.
Elizabeth,

Totally agree with what you said about hospital and all births should be cover no matter what. Thank you.
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#89 of 90 Old 08-05-2005, 12:40 AM
 
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OT- my two rascals do more than enough damage to my cream carpet everyday ... at least while I am giving birth I can be aware and try to avoid major stains! My kids have no such perception. :LOL

On topic- I agree that denying coverage for hospital births is not the answer. I think we need to focus on making them safer for women and we should start by trying to reduce the c-section rate that is SOARING to almost 30%! I believe that an out of hospital birth is safest for most women. However, there are many women who don't have that safety ... a battered woman is far better off in a hospital!

And the logistics simply don't work all the time. Some people may be concerned about their cream carpet. Others may live in an unpleasant neighborhood. I chose a birth center for my first birth because I know that if I had attempted a homebirth my MIL would have been waiting outside with a police officer trying to accuse me of abuse and neglect. I know she is a nut and those things would not be true but at the time it just wasn't worth the fight I would have had to go through. Despite what I believed about birth in my heart, I needed to compromise to protect my family and create the best possible outsome during a very turbulent time. The funny thing about it though was that my 2nd son was born in HER house and HER bed. We've all grown a lot together.
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#90 of 90 Old 08-05-2005, 02:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LizD
Forbidding things rarely brings anyone around to another point of view.
: Besides, let's be realistic. If anything is going to get banned, it's homebirth, not hospital births. : Better to encourage openmindedness.

I have a friend who is a very nervous personality-- she can't help but focus on the what-ifs. She has a golden heart, but I personally think she would benefit from some anxiety drugs. When she learned that I was planning a home birth, she practically started crying out of worry for me. She was the only one who tried to talk me out of it, much to my surprize. But she is exactly the sort of person who just could never give birth out of a hospital. She would never be comfortable away from the doctors "safety net". Is it rational? No. But when it comes to birth, it's not what rational that matters-- it's where you feel safe and comfortable. Birth is emotional and subjective.
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