Join Date: Nov 2001
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Originally Posted by fourlittlebirds
I need to be comfortable enough with another person that their presence is not inhibiting or distracting to me. I can't see being relaxed about anyone other than my husband attending me in birth (much less sitting between my legs and touching my genitals, as most midwives do,) but less so a man than a woman.
This is partly because for me to be able to open up in such a vulnerable space and express myself in the needed primal way, it would require having or cultivating some degree of intimacy with those present. And I am going to do that with another man? I don't think so. (Although to be honest to me it's weird and artificial to do that with anyone, man or woman, that I'm not going to have an enduring emotional and non-monetary-based relationship with.)
But also (and I'd better put in the disclaimer *for me in my experience of reality*) Birth (with a capital 'B') is essentially something that women do and experience within themselves -- it is "a woman thing". For a man to think he can or should guide a woman through an event that is about womanhood is arrogant and presumptuous and I think frankly just plain wrong. Out of harmony. In the case of an individual's birth (small 'b') a man may be part of it (not as guide but as support and witness) by virtue of his deep love and connection to his lover and child, and conceivably this could be true for other male family members or friends. But other men? No, because they have no such connection.