Second baby, 2 1/2 months I think. I felt much better after that birth and I think sooner would have been fine, but I was nervous remembering the previous experience. And it's a lot harder to find time with 2 kids!
It was a good couple of months before sex stopped hurting, due to the lacerations.
I guess I shouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but wine played a big part in my ability to have sex. I really had a lot of perineal/vaginal discomfort and pain. The alcohol helped distract me from anxiety over the pain.
3 1/2 weeks PP right now, and I'm definitely waiting until AT LEAST 6 weeks.
Wife to an amazing man , mommy to 3 wild dudes: ds1 (5/23/05 @ 30 weeks), ds2 (3/5/09) , and ds3 (9/26/10) . Part time librarian, full time mommy, occasional chef and maid.
DS is 16 weeks old now, we have had two attempts at DTD, first attempt was at 12 weeks PP and can't remember the second.
We have only tried twice because I feel guilty ... I have noooooooooooo interest in DTD at all!
Both attempts were not successful due to intense pain (2nd degree tearing, epi and major stitches). The pain I felt was far worse than losing my virginity
DH is trying real hard to be patient but he's really getting antsy.
He has actually backed off since I have told him that things are still not 100% down there. When he said to me "But its been months" I had to tell him what was still tender ... TMI so I won't go into it
So I think that I will try and be a good wife and give it another try this weekend but this time I will include wine ...
After Reese, I had more healing issues but not as bad. I got the go-ahead for sex at 6 weeks. But due to time/energy/desire never coinciding, Reese was 3 mos old before we tried it (and no pain, yay!). We haven't done it again...we just never seem to have time/energy/desire all at the same time!
I do have to say that it felt really wierd, though, because I was still so stretched.
Originally Posted by applejuice
A week, each time.
Mine were born at home; no stitches, no worries.
With our second, we waited three weeks and then dh freaked out because he forgot the condom. Thankfully lactation amenorrhea lasted 13 months so it wasn't a pg scare like it would have been if I didn't breastfeed. I had no tears and was not cut (thank goodness for homebirth midwives who don't mutilate perineums!) so it was much easier that time around.
We'll see what happens this time...
Originally Posted by kewb
It was about 6 months...A baby in the house is a big adjustment. Especially if you are the primary care giver. It is difficult to understand just how draining an infant can be and how it changes your focus and affects every area of your life.
I would recommend lots of lubrication (olive oil works very well) and to take it slow... a few toys might not hurt either!
With DD#2, I was ready within a week, but want to wait until the bleeding stops. (still spotting at 4 weeks PP)
I don't remember how long it was with the first.
With the second, we tried at about 3 weeks, and my incision hurt too much, so we tried about once a week until it didn't. I think that was about...two months, maybe.
With the third, it's all been different. We tried the first time and about five or six weeks (my incision had been infected). The incision was fine, but it hurt a lot inside, which I've never experienced before. DS2 is 3.5 months old now, and it's still a very rare thing, because it's still very uncomfortable.
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
I had her by section, got a very bad infection in the csection site, long story!
So i was cleared at the 8 week mark and tried that night.lol It didnt hurt, it was just uncomfortable.
Then, by 10 weeks we were back in the swing of our normal sex life. It was wierd because sex never really hurt or wasnt fun, my body just changed and so did his, it wasnt the same. It was fun for the year after our DD to kind of try new things and see what worked and what didnt work for each other.
Dh was never turned off sexually while I was pregnant, in labor, or after watching me give birth...in fact he found my moaning in labor so sexy that he had to go relieve himself . Good thing I was delirious and didn't notice he was gone
I never lose my sex drive, though.
Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), Douglas (11/12), & Psalm (09/14; in Heaven)
6 wks after my 2nd with a 3rd degree tear. The wine helped and I had no pain.
It can take awhile to feel like it used to or it might be better (I've had 1 of each)