How long was it...after baby? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 54 Old 11-03-2005, 04:38 PM
 
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First baby, 6 weeks. I really wanted to but it hurt horribly (lots of stitches) and I wish I'd waited longer.

Second baby, 2 1/2 months I think. I felt much better after that birth and I think sooner would have been fine, but I was nervous remembering the previous experience. And it's a lot harder to find time with 2 kids!
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#32 of 54 Old 11-03-2005, 08:51 PM
 
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I had a 3rd degree tear with DS#1. So it was a good 6 months before we attempted sex. But, we were also co-sleeping and living in my parents house. There wasn't really a private place for us to go.

It was a good couple of months before sex stopped hurting, due to the lacerations.

I guess I shouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but wine played a big part in my ability to have sex. I really had a lot of perineal/vaginal discomfort and pain. The alcohol helped distract me from anxiety over the pain.

3 1/2 weeks PP right now, and I'm definitely waiting until AT LEAST 6 weeks.
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#33 of 54 Old 11-03-2005, 09:02 PM
 
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8 days post c-section My dh had come in on emergency from Iraq and I hadn't seen him since January.

M.

Wife to an amazing man love.gif, mommy to 3 wild dudes: ds1 (5/23/05 @ 30 weeks), ds2 (3/5/09) hbac.gif, and ds3 (9/26/10) hbac.gif. Part time librarianread.gif, full time mommysupermod.gif, occasional chef and maid.

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#34 of 54 Old 11-03-2005, 09:08 PM
 
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I think we waited 8 weeks with both. After #1 was born I wanted to at 2 weeks pp because my hormones were going nuts and I was so in love with my husband but we decided to wait because I was still super sore.

Noelia- mama to 4
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#35 of 54 Old 11-03-2005, 10:45 PM
 
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Thanks for the tip about the wine ... I must give that a try.

DS is 16 weeks old now, we have had two attempts at DTD, first attempt was at 12 weeks PP and can't remember the second.

We have only tried twice because I feel guilty ... I have noooooooooooo interest in DTD at all!

Both attempts were not successful due to intense pain (2nd degree tearing, epi and major stitches). The pain I felt was far worse than losing my virginity

DH is trying real hard to be patient but he's really getting antsy.

He has actually backed off since I have told him that things are still not 100% down there. When he said to me "But its been months" I had to tell him what was still tender ... TMI so I won't go into it

So I think that I will try and be a good wife and give it another try this weekend but this time I will include wine ...
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#36 of 54 Old 11-04-2005, 06:44 PM
 
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After Griff, I had healing issues that took nearly 3 mos to heal. So he was about 3 mos old when we DTD. Hurt like hell.

After Reese, I had more healing issues but not as bad. I got the go-ahead for sex at 6 weeks. But due to time/energy/desire never coinciding, Reese was 3 mos old before we tried it (and no pain, yay!). We haven't done it again...we just never seem to have time/energy/desire all at the same time!

may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living whatever they sing is better than to know  - e.e. cummings
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#37 of 54 Old 11-05-2005, 01:58 AM
 
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I think we first tried at about 8-10 weeks. It hurt terribly, but I'd had an episiotomy (grrr). I also had a very disapponting induction/birth and bad PPD. It took me at least a year to get to feeling like normal again. Since then my hormones (and desire) have seemed to come in waves. Some months are "better" than others.
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#38 of 54 Old 11-05-2005, 02:37 AM
 
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3 months with dd1 but I was not healed enough to do it more than once or twice until about 6 mos pospartum. With dd2 I still have zero or very little drive or interest, almost 2 years later. Sad, huh? I think we started up again at around 3 mos and it didn't hurt like with dd1 b/c I was in better shape after the birth of dd2.

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#39 of 54 Old 11-05-2005, 03:09 AM
 
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A week, each time.

Mine were born at home; no stitches, no worries.
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#40 of 54 Old 11-05-2005, 03:24 AM
 
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We had to wait until the stupid stitches were taken out - I can't remember exactly how long it was. They were supposed to dissolve, but they didn't, and I was healed already, so I just had them manually removed. It was really hard to wait - I wanted to jump dh within an hour of dd's birth (wouldn't have been physically able to, but still).
I do have to say that it felt really wierd, though, because I was still so stretched.
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#41 of 54 Old 11-05-2005, 03:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice
A week, each time.

Mine were born at home; no stitches, no worries.
Mine were both born at home and I had no stitches, but I still had hormones and had just given birth! DS1 - about 3mo, though not regularly for another month or two. DS2 - regularly since week 6. Even more interested than usual despite nursing.

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#42 of 54 Old 11-05-2005, 10:41 PM
 
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My first son was born via c-section and we had sex one month later. I am now 2 weeks post partum with my second, a vaginal delivery and I am anxious to get back at it again, although I probably won't be able to for at least another 2 weeks. He however, is not eager to have sex again, or do anything sexual whatsoever. I suspect it is because it was the first vaginal birth he has ever seen, and is a bit turned off by it. Although, he describes it as "amazing".
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#43 of 54 Old 11-06-2005, 09:31 PM
 
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2.5 months was the first time
During the 6-9 months after DD was born, we probably only had sex about 5-6 times.
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#44 of 54 Old 11-06-2005, 09:50 PM
 
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We waited about 7 weeks with the first and it wasn't too great... I had an episiotomy and the site was quite sore for a good 9 months, not to mention pushing while laying down just did a real number on my pelvic floor muscles. Ugh.

With our second, we waited three weeks and then dh freaked out because he forgot the condom. Thankfully lactation amenorrhea lasted 13 months so it wasn't a pg scare like it would have been if I didn't breastfeed. I had no tears and was not cut (thank goodness for homebirth midwives who don't mutilate perineums!) so it was much easier that time around.

We'll see what happens this time...
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#45 of 54 Old 11-06-2005, 11:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kewb
It was about 6 months...A baby in the house is a big adjustment. Especially if you are the primary care giver. It is difficult to understand just how draining an infant can be and how it changes your focus and affects every area of your life.
:

In love with Dh since 1998. We created Ds (7.1.03), Dd (10.16.06) and Dd (3.16.09).
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#46 of 54 Old 11-06-2005, 11:25 PM
 
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I always wait until one week after I stop bleeding... and I have zero intrest until I start ovulating again which is about a year later but we've talked about it and we actually have set up a "sex night" so dh knows he's not going to have to go 6 months without but he also knows he will probably have to work pretty hard to get my engine going and he has no problem with that
I would recommend lots of lubrication (olive oil works very well) and to take it slow... a few toys might not hurt either!
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#47 of 54 Old 11-06-2005, 11:37 PM
 
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we tried as soon as I was cleared to do so but at 9 months it still hurts, no episiotomy
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#48 of 54 Old 11-07-2005, 05:45 PM
 
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6 weeks with DD#1. The bleeding stopped for that day :P (I bled 7.5 weeks, got AF @ 9 weeks). After that, we had sex on occasion, I wasnt that interested.
With DD#2, I was ready within a week, but want to wait until the bleeding stops. (still spotting at 4 weeks PP)

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#49 of 54 Old 11-07-2005, 06:00 PM
 
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Three c-sections.

I don't remember how long it was with the first.

With the second, we tried at about 3 weeks, and my incision hurt too much, so we tried about once a week until it didn't. I think that was about...two months, maybe.

With the third, it's all been different. We tried the first time and about five or six weeks (my incision had been infected). The incision was fine, but it hurt a lot inside, which I've never experienced before. DS2 is 3.5 months old now, and it's still a very rare thing, because it's still very uncomfortable.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#50 of 54 Old 11-10-2005, 05:37 PM
 
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the week before i had DD we couldnt have sex. I was so uncomfortable.lol
I had her by section, got a very bad infection in the csection site, long story!
So i was cleared at the 8 week mark and tried that night.lol It didnt hurt, it was just uncomfortable.
Then, by 10 weeks we were back in the swing of our normal sex life. It was wierd because sex never really hurt or wasnt fun, my body just changed and so did his, it wasnt the same. It was fun for the year after our DD to kind of try new things and see what worked and what didnt work for each other.
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#51 of 54 Old 11-11-2005, 04:11 AM
 
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We had sex for the first time again at 2 weeks (homebirth, no stitches, minor tear), but I didn't stop bleeding completely until 3 weeks.

Dh was never turned off sexually while I was pregnant, in labor, or after watching me give birth...in fact he found my moaning in labor so sexy that he had to go relieve himself . Good thing I was delirious and didn't notice he was gone
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#52 of 54 Old 11-12-2005, 01:37 AM
 
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With #1, it was 4.5 months, but that's because he was underway. Number 2 I'm not too sure on; I think it was a month. Both were c-sections. This one was a little over a week, vaginal birth with 2 tears, one that needed stitches. I was a little scared, but there was only a little pain--apparently, my perineum was bruised.

I never lose my sex drive, though.

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), & Douglas (11/12)

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#53 of 54 Old 11-16-2005, 02:38 AM
 
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It Was 4 Weeks For Me - Believe Me....a Glass Of Wine (or 2) Will Do The Trick - Relaxes You
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#54 of 54 Old 11-16-2005, 01:53 PM
 
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7 wks after my first with a 4th degree tear, I wish I would have known about the wine then, but it didn't hurt that bad, and every time got better.

6 wks after my 2nd with a 3rd degree tear. The wine helped and I had no pain.

It can take awhile to feel like it used to or it might be better (I've had 1 of each)

Lisa, mom to M : 6/02, R : 6/04, m/c 6/8/05, L 6/06, and E 8/07
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