Cesarean Birth Support Thread November & December 2005 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 150 Old 11-09-2005, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

This thread is for support only and is for all who want to give support to women who have had cesarean births or planning cesarean births for whatever reason. This is not a thread on whether or not cesareans are necessary, etc.

For those interested, past cesarean birth support threads include birth plans, including my own. It can also be found on my blog under Cesarean Goddess posts.

Take time to just check in and say hi, even if lurking!


Kim
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#2 of 150 Old 11-09-2005, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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On the last thread a poster asked if anyone was having recurring problems with adhesions.

I do have some tenderness on the right side but not sure if its adhesions or not. I have a pulling sensation on that side for sure, especially when I get up from a sitting position. There is not pain, just pulling. I think this is from doing too much after my surgery this time.

I can't stress enough (even to myself) that when having any type of abdominal surgery you need to take the time to recover. Let things go, get help, and take care of you. When you do too much you can cause adhesions.

Kim
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#3 of 150 Old 11-09-2005, 10:46 PM
 
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Hello...I'm now almost 4 weeks post-cesarean. I'm feeling pretty good, a lot better than last time (this was my 2nd) and my scar has pretty much stopped hurting and pulling. There's a red part in the middle but it doesn't hurt so I'm not really concerned...not sure what an adhesion is so I guess I haven't had problems with them.

Emotionally I also feel a lot better about this c-section than my last. It was totally our choice, so I can't blame the docs or my mw or anything. I was very glad it was scheduled because we were so rested and ready for it. But I have discovered I'm sad about two things. One, that I never have (and probably never will) gone into labor. I wanted the experience of my body doing that and working through it with dh. Two, that I didn't get to push at all, either time, or push a baby out. But other than those I'm pretty much at peace, because I feel like we waited as long as we could and did all that we could short of, as someone said, going into the woods and not returning until I had a baby.

So...that got long but I am definitely still processing the birth.

The baby is doing great though and we are really enjoying him. He is very calm and sleeps tons, compared to dd. My dh is on leave for a few more weeks (6 weeks total, which has been incredible) and ITA with recognizing that major surgery takes a while to recover from...I am trying to rest up while dh is still home because I know without him it'll be craziness.

Anyway take care and I'm glad this thread is here.
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#4 of 150 Old 11-11-2005, 01:54 PM
 
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Hi all,

I've read a lot of these threads but not posted much -- I am still so conflicted and hurting about my c-section that it's hard to talk about. You can read our story here You strong mamas are awesome inspiration though!

However, I do have a question. I am 14 weeks post-section and still kind of sore. It's not on the incision at all -- that feels pretty normal -- but for about 2-3 inches above it along the right side. It's tender -- like a bruise -- and I have very little sensation in the skin there. Is that normal? It still takes my breath away if DD1 barrels into me for a hug. I really want to start running again, but the bouncing of my pp belly really hurts in that spot. Should I be concerned?

Thanks in advance, everyone!
-Debi
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#5 of 150 Old 11-11-2005, 08:13 PM
 
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Hi! I'm new to this area. I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the correct place so please forgive me if I need to move it.

I've had 3 cesareans, the last two were attempted VBACs. My first baby 1999 was breech and at the time I believed I almost had no choice so I "fought" to wait at least until his due date to schedule a cesarean birth. Ds6 was born 9lbs. 10.5 oz.

The second two (2001, 2003) were with midwives and different ones each time. I even changed midwives at 40 weeks with #2 to help ensure a VBAC and after 67 hours of prodromal and then somewhat regular but very slow progressing labor I accepted the fact that dd4 was "stuck" and opted for the cesarean. She was my biggest at 10 lbs. 3 oz., 41 weeks (I did not adjust my due date based on ovulation). Ds2 was born after only 12 hours of labor because the accepting midwife/head of the group was not on call and the other "cut me off" after 12 hours and I just accepted that he would be born on that day, might as well have a cesarean if no one would support me anymore. He was 10 lbs. 1 oz at 38 1/2 weeks. (I had adjusted his due date based on ovulation).

Now I am pregnant with #4 (about 7.5 weeks based on ovulation, 9 weeks based on LMP) and I am hesitant to schedule an appt with a provider because I feel like I have no choice but to have a cesarean. In the past two birth I was in search of that supportive midwife who would help me. Part of me is relieved and part of me is sad. I am used to "fighting" for what I want (VBAC) and now I am trying to figure out what I want in a provider. I am also feeling weird becauase in my other pregnancies I was sick by now, but I am not. I am breastfeeding two of mine still, dd4 (once a day) and ds 2(once or twice a day). Ds2 has severe food allergies and is allergic to 18 foods (and/or categories) so I do not eat anything he is allergic to. I've cut out dairy, soy, egg, wheat, peanuts and all other nuts, shellfish, beef, and several other foods. I don't know if this is why I don't feel mornig/all day sickness and why I did so strongly with im since he is sooo allergic. I worry that something is wrong so I've been hoping to feel sick so I can feel "normal" for me.

I feel like my biggest hope for this birth is to not schedule a cesarean but get one once I go into labor. I think I am okay with that. Is this realistic with OBs? I am in central NJ. I have had long periods in the past and I know about "fertile" mucous so I know my ovulation is usually 20 - 21 days post lmp instead of the 10-14 so I think I will adjust my lmp date to the equivalent.

I have 3 children. This is likely my last birth. I am 40. My mom used to take my other children for me but she died in 2004 of cancer. My dad died in 1991. My neighbor who also used to take my kids right away until my mom showed up moved away this summer. My ds2 is food allergic to 18 foods and I hesitate to let him stay with friends who have other children because his diet is so restricted and our house is safe for him, he does not yet realize he is allergic. I'm thinking a birth close to home (two hospitals, 5-8 miles away) would probably be the best situation for us. My sister is a teacher so if this baby comes after school is out she could help with my kids but she lives an hour away and doesn't get the food allergy thing.

There is a doctor (Grabelle) about 2-3 miles from me and I went to his office when pregnant with dd but I never met him. I only saw the midwife who left his office I followed her to the new office. I actually left her at 40 weeks. I did not like his office staff, or more specifically his wife, who charged me for their drawing blood even though my insurance said they could not but I found out after the fact. The only other doctor I was considering is an 35 minutes away and the birth would be an hour away instead of 10 minutes. He has a former homebirth midwive in his office and he supports other homebirth midwives as backup.

Anyone else feel reluctant even though a cesarean makes sense?
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#6 of 150 Old 11-11-2005, 09:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheFence
I can't stress enough (even to myself) that when having any type of abdominal surgery you need to take the time to recover. Let things go, get help, and take care of you.
This is one of the things I most hate about the sections. I hate having to get so much help just to get through a day. It's soooo frustrating.

I haven't been around much. I've been processing and thinking a lot. DH and I are still discussing possibly having one more baby (our last). If we do, I'm going to get a midwife and have a homebirth. I've had it with being cut open, and I'm still not convinced that any of my surgeries were truly necessary. I'm sick of my doctors treating it like it's no big deal and I'm just being difficult when I want a VBAC. So...I'm out of it. No doctors, no hospitals, and barring a major emergency - no more #%*# scalpels!

I hope everybody's doing well.


girligirlmom: I can understand being hesitant. Trying to look after dd after a section was one of my worst fears last time around. And, it was awful - in some ways worse than I'd expected. I hope you can find a provider who will try to make the whole thing less traumatic.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#7 of 150 Old 11-11-2005, 10:15 PM
 
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Just checking in to say hi. Thanks Kim for starting the new thread. It's a great place for all of us to come and discuss our situations, and get answers to our problems. I've got two really LONG papers to write for school, so I just lurk around for now.....until I have a little more time.

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#8 of 150 Old 11-12-2005, 11:08 AM
 
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Subscribing.

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#9 of 150 Old 11-12-2005, 11:13 AM
 
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Kim-- I couldn't find your birth plan when I clicked "Cesarean Goddess Posts?" How do you get there?

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#10 of 150 Old 11-12-2005, 11:25 AM
 
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Hello,
just saying hi, I had my c-birth 9 months ago. Thing's are going well at the mo, more later.....
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#11 of 150 Old 11-12-2005, 11:37 AM
 
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eilonwy - here's the link to Kim's birth plan from a previous thread....
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ght=birth+plan

It's the second response in the thread...

hope this helps

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#12 of 150 Old 11-12-2005, 12:12 PM
 
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Hi all! I have been reading this thread because of the high chance that I will end up with a Cesarean. I had a fairly traumatic V-birth with my son (induction, vacuum, etc) and from that experience, ended up becoming a labor doula and a birth advocate. So when I became pregnant with #2, I planned a Homebirth.

Everything was going great until we confirmed that the baby was breech at my 36w visit (and had suspected it before that). I have tried all the turning methods, including version and none have worked. I went through a bit of a depression when I felt backed into a corner - my DH was not comfortable with a home breech birth, my MW was very conservative and did not feel 100% comfortable (but might have considered if my DH wasnt so skittish) and I had a hard time finding a Dr around here that would not do a planned Cesarean and only a planned Cesarean.

I did eventually find an OB who will give it a try. He says all his colleagues will think he is nuts, but everything seems to be in line for a successful V-birth - frank breech, head tucked, baby size, "prooven pelvis" with a 9 lb baby, etc.

But I know that if labor does not progress fairly quickly, if the baby does not descend, or there is any distress, I will end up with a Cesarean. I also know that if I go into labor when my Dr is not on call, his backups are unlikely to suport the V-birth. (Which is this weekend, so I need *stay in baby* vines til Monday )

Its been a rough couple of weeks, but I am coming to terms with it. Its hard to loose your dream birth, as I am sure many of you can understand. I have had some friends who have given me great ideas on having as good a Cesarean as possible. I just dread the recovery time, with a newborn, a very rambunctious 4yr old who loves to climb on mommy and a DH who cant take a lot of time off work!

Anyway, thanks for this thread and for sharing your stories for those of us who are facing or have faced a Cesarean.

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
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#13 of 150 Old 11-13-2005, 06:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by girligirlmom
I feel like my biggest hope for this birth is to not schedule a cesarean but get one once I go into labor. I think I am okay with that. Is this realistic with OBs? I am in central NJ. I have had long periods in the past and I know about "fertile" mucous so I know my ovulation is usually 20 - 21 days post lmp instead of the 10-14 so I think I will adjust my lmp date to the equivalent.
I don't see why this would be a problem! But it definitely depends on the obs. My central NJ practice always has a doctor at the hospital so I can't imagine they'd care.... other than you just don't know which doctor will be there. I would definitely adjust the dates with doctors (I just posted about that in the vbac section) since I think doctors are pretty set on LMP. My current practice only allows vbacs if you go into labor by 41 weeks. After that, they want you to schedule a repeat c-s. I would definitely want to be in labor before getting a c-s. I think laboring is good for the baby.

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#14 of 150 Old 11-13-2005, 06:57 PM
 
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I would definitely adjust the dates with doctors (I just posted about that in the vbac section) since I think doctors are pretty set on LMP.
I'd also advise changing your LMP. My own doctor is very cool about such things, but when I explained to the physician doing the intake that I knew when I'd ovulated, he acted like I couldn't possibly know any such thing. I told my doctor that I'd been temping and checking mucous and he said, "Oh, you were doing natural family planning? Well, if you know when you ovulated, that will be the most accurate way to get a date..." So my LMP was one of the things that he crossed out when he drew lines through everything the intake doctor had written.

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#15 of 150 Old 11-14-2005, 12:07 AM
 
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Well I am having my first m/c (4th pregnancy) right now so I will not be posting for awhile.
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#16 of 150 Old 11-14-2005, 12:56 AM
 
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girligirlmom - I am so very sorry.

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#17 of 150 Old 11-14-2005, 01:02 AM
 
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Oh no!!! I am so, so sorry!!!!! Please take care of yourself. I lost my first baby and I still feel sad when I think about my sweet angel. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

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#18 of 150 Old 11-14-2005, 01:32 PM
 
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so sorry girligirlmom

fiddledebi--hi there! I remember you from the running thread. I had a little boy a month ago so our kiddos aren't too far apart. I just read your birth story and I can see why you're still processing it. It sounds a lot like my first dd's birth and I can also relate to the lack of bonding at first. It gets better, but it does take a lot of time...for me I think it took almost a year before I really felt "close" to her although she was literally on my body most of that time. I'm sorry you're going through that, it's so hard. As for the scar, in both of my c-sect's there has been one place that stayed sore longer than the rest of it. I'd say try running and if it pulls, stop, because it can make things harder in the long run. But it's normal for it to feel "weird" for that long, I think. Anyway, take care, and congratulations on your baby!
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#19 of 150 Old 11-14-2005, 02:48 PM
 
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girlgirlmom, .

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#20 of 150 Old 11-14-2005, 09:58 PM
 
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Quote:
It's tender -- like a bruise -- and I have very little sensation in the skin there.
I'm 7 months post-op and I have the same thing (also on the right side of my incision). My doctor said this type of sensation is totally normal (she isn't a surgeon though...just my regular doctor) as long as you don't have a fever or swelling along the scar. She suggested trying gentle yoga positions and scar massage to stretch out the muscles and "guts" that have gotten tight due to the surgery. Some people on this thread have mentioned that their incision area hurts more during ovulation, but at least in my case the sensation is pretty constant.

The numb feeling is due to nerve damage from the incision and may or may not improve. Some people regain sensation and others don't (one of my friends had his appendix removed 8 years ago and he still has a numb spot on his side but my dad's numb area after heart surgery went away after a year or so). I'm still hoping since the "blank spot" along my incision kind of freaks me out!

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#21 of 150 Old 11-15-2005, 12:44 AM
 
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Hi All
Mandalamama: I am so sorry for your loss
We took DD to a cranial sacral Dr for a few months after her long and complicated birth and she sees a chiro on occasion now, as does my son

girlgirlmom: I am so sorry for you loss

? Someone mentioned they were going to ask their Dr about very painful ovulation? Anyone get an answer on that? My ovulation pains are so bad.. I was nearly doubled over the other day... I really don't want to call my Dr unless there is a need. The pain is short lived.. I have it only 1 day.. and not all day, and 2 motrin usually take care of it completely. My periods are not any heavier than they have been since after my first baby... heavier than before I had kids.. :

Chantal
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#22 of 150 Old 11-15-2005, 03:26 AM
 
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Hi all, just checking in. I am now almost 28 weeks along, and hoping to VBAC this time. I am debating changing from an OB to a midwife, and switching hospitals to improve my chances, but it is all up in the air at this point. I am not really hell-bent on experiencing a vaginal birth, but I would really like to avoid the long recovery of a c/s especially since I do not have a good support system here to help me afterwards, plus I can't imagine not picking up my DS for so long after. He will just not understand, and what a way to create jealousy for his new sister when she can be picked up and he can't. Anyway, I hope to have the whole decision of where to birth made in the next several weeks.

Chantal, I always have very painful ovulation - it lasts less than a day but sometimes it hurts so much I can't stand up straight. For me this pain seems to come right when the eggs are popping, based on OPKs I have done in the past. (Like day after the OPK is positive.) It's totally normal, but not everyone gets it. The nice thing about it is if you're TTC, you know exactly when you need to act. Otherwise, it's kind of a hassle. If Motrin works for you, you're lucky - it doesn't help much for me.
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#23 of 150 Old 11-15-2005, 12:36 PM
 
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I am six weeks post c/s and while I had been feeling mentally better, I have had a couple of dark days yesterday and today. I had my 6 week check up yesterday, and we talked to the doctor about VBACs. I was told that this practice does do VBACs but only for people who are candidates likely to get one, and since I never did go into labor, I probably am not a likely candidate. I think I had already decided that I would look elsewhere for a VBAC the next time around (probably not for another three years). We had been planning to have two kids, but today I am not sure that I even want to have another one. I didn't enjoy being pregnant (m/s throughout, and problems with breathing and moving around in the third tri - there was just no room for a big baby in there it seems) and then with the c-section (I DO NOT want to go through that again) and the problems I have had with nursing I just feel like I am not built for having babies. This makes me so sad. DH went out of town for work and I promised that I wouldn't sit around and cry, but I am having a tough day.
I think I will strap the munchkin on in her sling and go for a walk, that might help.
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#24 of 150 Old 11-15-2005, 01:53 PM
 
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turtlewomyn...sorry things are rough. six weeks is *not* a long time to "get over" everything and I promise it does get better. I had a very similar experience with my dd three years ago (rough pregnancy, c-section, nursing problems) and did not know if I would want to have another baby. It took two years to be ready to even try, but my 2nd pregnancy was so much better and even though I had another c-sec it was totally different in a good way, and nursing is about a million times easier the 2nd time.

Just wanted to give you some hope...it is still so soon after your birth, mama, take it easy on yourself. I hope the walk with the sling works! Take care.
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#25 of 150 Old 11-15-2005, 04:33 PM
 
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Hi All
Kristen. I NEVER went into labor with my first child.. I went into labor and labored beautifuly with my second!! Don't let that OB's office policy disuade you from doing what you feel is best.

Greenmansions: Yes.. that is totally me.. sometimes it is so painful I can't stand up straight.. I wonder why I feel it now and not before?? Thanks for the reassurance

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#26 of 150 Old 11-15-2005, 11:43 PM
 
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turtlewomyn...give yourself time to recover and heal. Six weeks is a blink of the eye in terms of recovering from major surgery and entering into new mama-hood. Right now just try to take care of yourself (sleep as much as you can, eat well, and drink drink drink to keep your fluid levels up while nursing) and don't worry about the future (I know that's easier said than done!).

And remember, growing a baby and raising a child are skills you learn over time. The problems you've experienced over the past year don't mean you're going to have the same difficulties the next time round! And your feelings are totally normal...ask almost any mama 6 weeks after her first baby is born "so, when's the next one coming along?" and she'll probably answer something along the lines of "are you kidding?!". Take the time you need to heal and enjoy your little one!

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#27 of 150 Old 11-16-2005, 12:59 PM
 
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thanks y'all. the walk helped and today i feel better, although last night was rough with the nursing, dd was doing a nurse-a-thon and just constantly at it. she is not gaining weight up to her ped. expectations so i am still dealing with that. perhaps I need to concentrate on that before worrying about a VBAC or any future children
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#28 of 150 Old 11-16-2005, 01:46 PM
 
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Kristen ~ Definitely give yourself time! I was only beginning to feel more like myself physically after 6 weeks. I'm so happy to hear of your committment to breastfeeding. My dd nursed constantly for months. I couldn't even run errands b/c it seemed that she wanted to nurse all the time. Having a c-s didn't make it easier of course but statistically, c-s babies are less likely to be breast-fed and I always like beating the stats!! Hang in there!!! You are still very newly post partum. It really does improve.

PS... when you are ready, I have found the vbac forum enlightening and empowering!

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ICAN of New Jersey --> find 2010 NJ hospital birth stats here!

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#29 of 150 Old 11-16-2005, 02:59 PM
 
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Hi everyone, Can I just spout for a minute? I so do not want to have another c/s with my new baby. I have been looking into switching providers and hospitals to increase my chances of a successful VBAC. DH however, is not on board with this. He tells me to do what I want, but he thinks I should just schedule another c/s with my current provider and be done with it. I just don't know if I can have a successful VBAC without his support. Part of me is starting to wish he would just stay home with DS, and I go birth this baby with my doula's help at the hospital I want with the provider I want.

That news that came out yesterday about c/s rates being at an all-time high is not helping my case with him - he thinks that if so many are being done there must be a good reason, they must be safe, and he really glommed onto the statistic presented about VBAC rupture rates of 1%. Somehow all the negative things discussed in the article about c/s did not make an impression on him. It bugs me b/c normally he's a very analytical guy and takes in all the facts, but I think emotion is getting in the way of that in this case.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll work this out - we always do - but it just has me very upset the past couple of days.
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#30 of 150 Old 11-16-2005, 07:52 PM
 
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Maybe you should flat out ask him, in so many words, why his preference is for you to be cut open when that's not what you want? Would it be his preference for you to knifed by a mugger, as opposed to maybe being hit and having your purse taken? (Weird analogy, I know...but that's how I feel about it.)

Also...point out to him that preterm and low birthweight babies are also up. I don't think it's a coincidence. If I hadn't argued for so long against having my last section, they would have cut him out a full three weeks before he actually arrived!! (He was a section, but not until I went into labour.)

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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