amazing birth secrets REVEALED! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 02:25 AM
 
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Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama

The only thing they didn't tell me in the homebirth-waterbirth case is that not all babies look around the room with blissful contentment after being born with the love of happy hippie waterbirth. Mine looked around the room like he was seriously discouraged at the turn life had taken; and only started nursing after glaring at everyone in the room. He is getting used to things now, although I imagine that babies have their own version of this thread...
lol, do you have a pic of that glare online? I saw one that was black and white a couple days ago and that was the babys exact look. As a mother I think I would cry but as an outsiders view I couldn't help but laugh at the pic. I had no idea babies could be so expressive at birth.

Seriously?
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#32 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 02:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Satori
lol, do you have a pic of that glare online? I saw one that was black and white a couple days ago and that was the babys exact look. As a mother I think I would cry but as an outsiders view I couldn't help but laugh at the pic. I had no idea babies could be so expressive at birth.
Sorry, I don't have a picture. I had a crappy doula who apparently didn't know how to focus a camera. That's what you get when you have a baby on Thanksgiving - the backup doula. Ah well.

It actually worried me (his expression) ... I kept asking the MW, "Is that normal? Why is he looking at me like that? What's wrong with him?" In the next few minutes it was funny, but at first, a bit disconcerting. He came a few weeks late, so perhaps he didn't want to come out at all, ever.
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#33 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 08:49 AM
 
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you just get a sleepy registrar
Yes a registrar - senior or junior - is a doctor in training, and is sleepy because he or she will have been awake for at least 30 hours by the time you get transferred at 3am. They are almost at the bottom of the food chain and are often left to pick up all the night time shifts the OBs don't want to do. Sometimes English is not their first language which is not very helpful in times of distress (I have no axe to grind here, I teach ESL but there is a time and a place for putting my tutor's hat on and labour is not it)

Mine was so sleepy and dim that asked me to move during a double peaked contraction so I shouted at her, then she tried to insert the venflon in the back of my hand during another contraction. I shouted at her. : and so did dh.

And in the haze of horrible memoried during my last post I forgot to say that my Pit contractions were like being slammed with a plank and after 2 normal labours I *knew* that was not right.
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#34 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 09:11 AM
 
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Let me add to the list:
--The lovely roommate who has an endless parade of male visitors after you have just given birth and are moved to the postpartum rooms. In order to get to the bathroom, you have to walk past the foot of her bed and all her visitors. You are wearing a hospital gown, mesh underwear, some sort of frozen diaper-type giant pad, are unsteady on your feet, and dripping blood everywhere. The nurse has to help you, and then she loudly talks about how much poop and pee and blood there should be while you have a room full of your roommate's visitors. Did I mention the "up all night giving birth really just want to sleep but it's impossible" part?

--You are not allowed to hold your baby and go for a little walk around the halls. If the baby is out of the nursery/mom's room, the baby MUST be in the little bassinet. You are not allowed to carry the baby.

--They have stuff they need to get done, and they don't care when is a convenient time for you. They need to do the hearing test NOW. (At 11pm) They need to do the PKU test NOW. They need to give the baby the HepB shot NOW. What, you don't want a genetically engineered vaccine for an STD injected into your newborn? CALL SOCIAL SERVICES! GET A SOCIAL WORKER TO ASSESS THIS ABUSIVE MOTHER! THEY ARE REFUSING MEDICAL CARE FOR THEIR CHILD! They need to take the baby's picture NOW. They need to come give you the sales pitch for the baby's picture NOW. They need to check your bleeding NOW. No, they will not take your word for it, they need to see the blood. They need to give you the two diaper bags full of formula NOW.
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#35 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by reader
--You are not allowed to hold your baby and go for a little walk around the halls. If the baby is out of the nursery/mom's room, the baby MUST be in the little bassinet. You are not allowed to carry the baby.
Yeah, that one : Because, WHAT IF you drop the baby?????? I mean, you're all weak and all after birth and you just might drop him, you know (that's what the nusery nurse told me). It's exactly what I mean by "the baby is the hospital's and not yours".
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#36 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 10:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Zus
Yeah, that one : Because, WHAT IF you drop the baby?????? I mean, you're all weak and all after birth and you just might drop him, you know (that's what the nusery nurse told me). It's exactly what I mean by "the baby is the hospital's and not yours".
Oh, yeah, I remember that...at one point my husband just said, "Look, I'm carrying her. Deal with it." One thing to always remember is that we don't have to submit to their stupid procedures, even if it makes them mad and/or threatening. What are they going to do? Kick us out?

I was very lucky to be able to avoid some of the negative situations mentioned here because of my husband--our daughter was almost never without him when she was out of our room, and I didn't have to sleep alone until the third night (when he finally said, "I need some sleep!" and went home. By that time the nurses weren't bothering us as much at night and she and I actually did get some sleep! And yeah, they let her sleep in the bed with me... ).
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#37 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 03:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride
How would a nurse hear bowel sounds?

Bowel sounds are the gurgles in your belly. We use a stethoscope to be sure we can hear even the teeniest ones.
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#38 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 05:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Zus

Be prepared for the awful feeling that the hospital gives you about the fact that until discharge, the baby is *theirs* and not *yours*.
awww...that must be excrutiating...how did you cope with that? the new mommy instinct to hold your baby and protect them is so strong, i can't imagine what you must have endured having someone act like they get to make the decisions...

In love with Dh since 1998. We created Ds (7.1.03), Dd (10.16.06) and Dd (3.16.09).
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#39 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 05:08 PM
 
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Ah, reader, I had forgotten all about the mesh undies.

Thanks for the PTSD moment.
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#40 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 05:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Crunchier
Bowel sounds are the gurgles in your belly. We use a stethoscope to be sure we can hear even the teeniest ones.
I've never been checked for that in three c-sections. They just keep wanting to know if I've passed gas. As I said, I always lie, because I never have. In a total of 11 days in the hospital after sections, I've never had even a little bit of gas, except after bowel movements have resumed. I'm glad I ignore this one.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#41 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 05:15 PM
 
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an interesting side note in my delivery...my water breaks and it looks brownish. i worry. i call the mw while i am having a contraction she's like "oh, honey...calm down...i hear you breathing all heavy...you aren't in labor yet, go back to sleep!" and i tell her that i know i am and that i'm worried about the pea soup color of my water. she continues to be condescending and asks me if i've felt ds move and i of course i hadn't even noticed if i had or not but i got really scared. so finally she's like ok i'll call the hospital and tell them you're on your way. in the car my labor gets crazy and i arrive at the hospital and the really sweet nurse looks surprised when i tell her my name and she says "oh, you're in labor...nancy told me you weren't!" (first-time moms get NO credit!!) i get into the room and hooked up to the fetal heart rate monitor, she checks my cervix (ouch!!) and i'm 5cm dilated. after 20 mintues she says baby looks fine. then here's the kicker...she smiles and tells me "you'd better hurry to the birth center, you don't want to give birth here!"

In love with Dh since 1998. We created Ds (7.1.03), Dd (10.16.06) and Dd (3.16.09).
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#42 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 05:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by starlein26
an interesting side note in my delivery...my water breaks and it looks brownish. i worry. i call the mw while i am having a contraction she's like "oh, honey...calm down...i hear you breathing all heavy...you aren't in labor yet, go back to sleep!" and i tell her that i know i am and that i'm worried about the pea soup color of my water. she continues to be condescending and asks me if i've felt ds move and i of course i hadn't even noticed if i had or not but i got really scared. so finally she's like ok i'll call the hospital and tell them you're on your way. in the car my labor gets crazy and i arrive at the hospital and the really sweet nurse looks surprised when i tell her my name and she says "oh, you're in labor...nancy told me you weren't!" (first-time moms get NO credit!!) i get into the room and hooked up to the fetal heart rate monitor, she checks my cervix (ouch!!) and i'm 5cm dilated. after 20 mintues she says baby looks fine. then here's the kicker...she smiles and tells me "you'd better hurry to the birth center, you don't want to give birth here!"
OMG! How awful to be treated that way.

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#43 of 50 Old 12-16-2005, 09:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by starlein26
an interesting side note in my delivery...my water breaks and it looks brownish. i worry. i call the mw while i am having a contraction she's like "oh, honey...calm down...i hear you breathing all heavy...you aren't in labor yet, go back to sleep!" and i tell her that i know i am and that i'm worried about the pea soup color of my water. she continues to be condescending and asks me if i've felt ds move and i of course i hadn't even noticed if i had or not but i got really scared. so finally she's like ok i'll call the hospital and tell them you're on your way. in the car my labor gets crazy and i arrive at the hospital and the really sweet nurse looks surprised when i tell her my name and she says "oh, you're in labor...nancy told me you weren't!" (first-time moms get NO credit!!) i get into the room and hooked up to the fetal heart rate monitor, she checks my cervix (ouch!!) and i'm 5cm dilated. after 20 mintues she says baby looks fine. then here's the kicker...she smiles and tells me "you'd better hurry to the birth center, you don't want to give birth here!"
WHAT??? Why would your MW send you to the hospital instead of having you come to the birth center?
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#44 of 50 Old 12-17-2005, 03:52 PM
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awww...that must be excrutiating...how did you cope with that? the new mommy instinct to hold your baby and protect them is so strong, i can't imagine what you must have endured having someone act like they get to make the decisions...
With my first birth I was pretty much taken aback. I gave birth at 1.30 pm and after they took me to my room and my DS to the nursery, it wasn't until 9 pm that I got to see him again. This hospital had nursing hours and babies were not allowed outside the nursery if it wasn't feeding time. The first feeding time after I gave birth was at 6 pm or so, but the nurses wouldn't bring me my baby because they were still busy with him in the nursery, and I was still too weak to walk all the way there (and it didn't occur to me that that was an option...).

This experience did traumatize me, and I decided to look for a better hospital for the next birth. The option of a home birth had crossed my mind, but was ruled out because I was having twins. Twin A was head down and twin B was transverse, so it was a relatively risky birth. Baby A was born with IUGR and spent the first few days in the NICU (I wrote about that experience in the NICU thread), and baby B "had to" spend the first night in the incubator in the regular nursery. This hospital was a bit better with allowing the babies with the mommies, but also only during the day.

So how did I deal with it? I had no choice but to deal with it! I guess that's what most mommies do, just make the best of it and try to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.
I just know for next time that I will have a home birth (mainly because of this reason!!!), and if I will have to have a hospital birth, I will sign ourselves out after a few hours. I've heard it's possible, you will have to sign a million papers and they probably try to talk a lot of guilt into you, but it's doable.
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#45 of 50 Old 12-17-2005, 05:29 PM
 
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If you plan on co-sleeping in the hospital, be prepared to have a frantic nurse burst into the room at 3AM, turn all the lights on, and insist you sign a release form stating that it's not their fault WHEN (not even if) you roll over and kill your baby.
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#46 of 50 Old 12-17-2005, 11:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LeosMama
...lactation consultants are wonderful and nearly every woman should see one, but they are not goddesses and if their advice seems to be off or not working for you, get a second opinion or go see a speech language pathologist for extra help.
It is not a requirement for a woman (or a man) to be a mother and have successfully breastfed a baby in order to be a Certified Lactation Consultant. One of those "no experience needed" professions.

I had looked into this years ago, and although I could have been a wonderful one, I did not like competing with inexperience since obviously experience was not what the hospitals were looking for.
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#47 of 50 Old 12-18-2005, 12:08 AM
 
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--The lovely roommate who has an endless parade of male visitors after you have just given birth and are moved to the postpartum rooms. ... Did I mention the "up all night giving birth really just want to sleep but it's impossible" part?
This happened to my sister. She had a roommate whose birth was a cakewalk and her male visitors kept ogling my sister, who had a caesarean section after hemmorhaging from a placenta previa, while my sister kept trying to nurse her new DD.

I filed a complaint with the hospital after the nurses ignored my repeated requests for my sister's privacy and to get those visitors out since visiting hours were up.

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... CALL SOCIAL SERVICES! GET A SOCIAL WORKER TO ASSESS THIS ABUSIVE MOTHER! THEY ARE REFUSING MEDICAL CARE FOR THEIR CHILD!... NOW.... NOW....NOW....NOW.
This is only the beginning of the rest of the world telling you that you do not know what you are doing and that the rest of the world knows better. It goes on for 18+ years!
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#48 of 50 Old 12-18-2005, 01:28 AM
 
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Wow. I am LOVING my hospital after reading this thread. Okay, well, they did ask me to sleep with the lights on, but I didn't mind so much because I wasn't sleeping so much as gazing at my beautiful boy all night long. We coslept in the hospital with both babies, switching back and forth between me and my rooming-in hubby.

Also, after we spent an hour with our newborn in the delivery room, they let me carry him to the nursery. I was in a wheelchair (fine by me since I was sitting on icepacks and big old maxis) and because I'd been unmedicated, they just let me carry him. Fabulous hospital.

Oh, and I had an appendectomy at age 9 and had terrible HORRIBLE gas pains in my shoulder while in recovery. I think the gas pains definitely come from introducing air to the opened abdomen.
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#49 of 50 Old 12-18-2005, 05:21 PM
 
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The didn't tell me that having a male medical student in the room can actually stall labor to the point where breaking the water and pitocin are necessary.

They didn't tell me that breaking the water dont always speed things up - and that you can actually risk to stall completely after having the water broken - EVEN if your contractions quadrouble in strength :

They also didn't tell me that accepting the epidural would make my birth last another 6 hours instead of the 1 hour it took to get me dilated to 10 with the pitocin.

Single mom to ds(8), dd(6) and ds(5)
 

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#50 of 50 Old 12-19-2005, 12:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MotherWhimsey
If you plan on co-sleeping in the hospital, be prepared to have a frantic nurse burst into the room at 3AM, turn all the lights on, and insist you sign a release form stating that it's not their fault WHEN (not even if) you roll over and kill your baby.
my son slept in his stupid bassinette thing a total of 3 hrs while we were there...all three hours my sister had put him in there cuz she didn't want to hold him...instead of giving him to me. luckily no one said anything.

Jami (25) Roland (27) & Caleb (5), Jacob (3.5) , Kaitlyn (2)
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